‘I was drinking at least a pint of vodka a day and sometimes two’

 12-24-2009, 10:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: muscle shoals, AL
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Anxiety and panic attacks after quitting: will I ever get better?

I am 34 yrs old. I am almost 5 months sober now. I was drinking at least 1 pint of vodka a day and sometimes 2. Got to where if i had to be at work at 7:00 am i was drinking on the way to keep the withdrawals away. this went on for over a year. Got to where i was having withdrawals and panic attacks even when i was drinking so i decided to quit. was misdirected and couldnt get into treatment so i detoxed at home and went through hell… i mean places in my mind and body i never want to be again. most of you know what im talking about, its awful. Constant panic and anxiety non stop also. had to go to the ER 5 times in a month. anyways it has slowly got better but am still having alot of anxiety and sometimes debilitating panic attacks. im still scared to get too far from the house in fear of having an attack. i feel like im never going to get any better. nothing but negative thoughts . sometimes i do have my good speels but most of the time if im feeling good im still worrying when the next attack is going to happen. im also having alot of weird dizzy feelings maybe from the anxiety im not sure and sometimes i feel like im in a dream, a very bad dream. im going to a state funded psychiatrist that looks at his watch ever couple of minutes and never seems to give a damn about what im trying to tell him. ive called many many places even rehabs to ask them if what im going thru is normal and noone seems to know any answers. im scared to death im going to be stuck like this the rest of my life and have irrepairable brain damage. all i can say is thank god im not suicidal. i love life and the people in it, its just this fear and anxiety. can anyone relate with this and give some hopefully positive feedback or experiences theyve had? or links? i am going to meetings and have a sponsor. thanks in advance

Donny

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Old 02-08-2010, 07:36 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Location: muscle shoals, AL
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Sorry its been a while since I logged in.Still not drinking though 6 months and a week!. The doc did give me librium, which is a benzodiazepine but i only take as needed for panic but i hhave to deal with the anxiety most of the day. he also gave me buspar which i cannot tell much of anything with it yet but im not up to regular dose yet. I am still a sort of mess but i am alot better since i typed the first part of this thread. It is getting better all along, just so slow its hard to tell but when you look back you notice. A car wreck 1-29-10 took my brothers wife and 13 month old granddaughter and my mothers cancer is back. I think the stress in my life has alot to do with this too. Yet still nothing is worth drinking again and going thru the hell ive been thru the past 6 months. I have surrendered! TRhanks for all of the great feedback i love this site and you all too! Oh by the way anyone going the anti depressant route beware of the nasty “brain zaps” when you quit taking them and they can last over a month!
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 06-26-2011, 01:51 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: muscle shoals, AL
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Well it has been a long time now since I posted on this thread. I forgot about even joining this site and just ran across it again and found this post.

8/1/2011 will be 2 years alcohol free!!!

I found out alcohol was not my main problem, although it did play a role. My main problem was benzodiazepine (benzo) withdrawal! I had been taking 1 mg per day of Klonopin for around 3 years and stopped that at the same time I quit the alcohol. I never imagined just 1 mg a day could cause such a horrible withdrawal. I’ve been off the Klonopin for 14 months now and am still having a hard time due to a lot of central nervous system damage caused from Klonopin. I am getting better all along very, very slowly but healing is happening. Thank god the panic attacks went away.

Everything i’ve read online says you do heal but it can take a lot of time. Thanks god for the benzo sites I joined for support too. Hopefully before long I will be able to drive myself to some meetings. 

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