Ashton tapers cause permanent brain damage

Facing the unfortunate fact: for some of us, it's permanent
« on: January 28, 2017, 06:30:13 am »

[Buddie]

Title says it all.

I’ve seen enough two, three, five year even 10 year off posts to know that there seems to be a set of preconditions which disposes some of us to permanent brain damage. Not sure what those are and of course the science isn’t there yet to tease this all apart. It’s an unfortunate truth.

11 months off, complete brain damage feeling in my head. Can’t think complex things anymore.

I’m puzzled just looking at this now?

“Help! Should I take a rescue dose?”

Use of Benzo while withradwing
« on: January 24, 2017, 10:16:50 am »

[Buddie]

Tomorrow I have a meeting with a customer of my company and am of course scared to death.

I know it’s not good, but after dumping all my Valium, I bought a couple of xanax tablets for just in case.

I am really thinking of taking one pill of 0,5 mg only for tomorrow.

Anyone been in the situation in which you have the urge to take a benzo for just the most difficult situation?

Scientologists at Benzo Buddies post years-old discredited Mad in America article to feed doctor-bashing frenzy

10 ways mental health professionals increase misery in suffering people
« on: January 21, 2017, 06:47:41 am »

[Buddie]

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/12/10-ways-mental-health-professionals-increase-misery-suffering-people/
« Last Edit: January 21, 2017, 07:30:03 am by [Buddie] »

Re: 10 ways mental health professionals increase misery in suffering people
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2017, 07:14:40 pm »

[Buddie]

Good article LorazepamFree. I ran into one psychiatrist who incorrectly diagnosed me based on an intake form, even before talking to me, and immediately recommended a high amount of anti-depressants. He said I had to get sicker to get better and called himself “Nurse Ratchet” (like the one in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest movie) and would strictly monitor whether I was taking the drugs. He didn’t care about the fact that I was in tolerance withdrawal from benzos. I was stunned and resisted, so he got mad and stamped his feet and told me to listen to my husband (he was stunned, too). Unbelievable-never saw him again Fortunately, my other counselors have been compassionate and helpful. One of them said that “Nurse Ratchet” shouldn’t be practicing. I hope sites like madinamerica can help bring awareness to patients and providers alike.

Kooks will take anything except the medicine their psychiatrists prescribe them

Is THIS what people mean when they say healing is cyclical ???
« on: January 18, 2017, 05:37:43 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve read on here that healing is non-linear, cyclical, etc. I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing is a lesson in this or not. With reference to the four phases of withdrawal post, I think I have just emerged from acute (I don’t think I need to describe, to this audience, that my acute was hellish…) and have entered phase two?

Basically, I started taking Gingko Biloba, eating ext low carb / no sugar, and I was feeling, after four weeks of non stop constant ALL symptoms and uncontrollable crying, to feeling OKAY — like, I could go to the library and do short bouts of reading, etc. However this morning and last night I was feeling very depressed. This morning, though I’ve been SO good about it, I was too agoraphobic to take my dog for a walk. So, today I am still in sweat pants, unable to move or do anything, but though this sucks and I am depressed what I DON’T have is extreme anxiety or terror, and the “pringling” feeling all over my face has let up a bit. Is this what is meant by symptoms morphing? By some leaving temporarily and others coming back? OR is this just my baseline depression? I’m on Wellbutrin for that. I feel VERY BAD but I don’t feel in total nonstop anxious despair right now––even though three days ago a friend literally had to carry me down the street and hold me as I was rocking while trying to feed me some food, and I almost checked myself into a psych ward! Ha ha. SO, this feels acceptable by comparison, but I am still totally worthless…and I’m also discouraged that the depression and agoraphobia, which had let up, have returned so abruptly.

Anyone have similar experiences? What did it feel like when you left acute? Are the cycles this short? Need support that this is still part of the withdrawal and I’m not just innately wretched.   

A.

Kitty Dukakis sings the praises of ECT, just one session ended her depression “just like that”

Kitty Dukakis: Electroshock Therapy Has Given Me A New Lease On Life

David Greene talks to Kitty Dukakis and her husband, former Mass. Gov. Michael Dukakis, about their campaign to destigmatize electroshock therapy. She has used it to alleviate severe depression.

http://www.npr.org/2017/01/17/510204486/kitty-dukakis-electroshock-therapy-has-given-me-a-new-lease-on-life

“Fuck this, where am I?”

I give up, starting an AD
« on: January 17, 2017, 07:37:06 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve done as much as I can with this “recovery” but it’s become apparent, I need some kind of kick. I wanted to be off of all psych meds, but I just can’t seem to tip myself over the hump. I’m just at 9.5 months off and even though I’ve seen a lot of improvements in many areas, the one I still struggle with is depression. It’s not even what I call severe depression. I can get up in the morning, I can leave the house, I can do stuff, but I have no vitality, my life is flat.

Worse still is this circular OCD-like thinking. The same negative thoughts keep popping into my head. I was warned a few weeks ago about my job performance, and I haven’t been able to think about anything else since then. I feel like my life is crumbling. I almost want it to crumble because then I could stop fighting and just give up.

I’ve come to realize that, whatever happens, I have to be mentally and emotionally fit enough to handle life. I have dreams and desires I want to achieve, but I don’t feel like I can in my current state. I have no confidence, no self esteem. It’s not so much saddening as it is maddening. I’m like “fuck this, where am I?”

My doctor prescribed my Paxil to take at night, with the hope that it will not only help me sleep more soundly, but maybe help with the morning awfulness that typically grips me. She also gave me script for Celexa, but I chose to fill the Paxil because it’s supposed to help with the above-mentioned OCD-like thinking.

My logic is pretty simple. I’m not breaking out of this the way I’d hoped. I need something, some kind of push, hopefully just enough to get me to a better place, to stabilize me and see things differently. Strangely enough, I haven’t given up on life. I still think I can sort things out, but I obviously can’t continue feeling like half a person.

Re: I give up, starting an AD
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2017, 07:43:00 pm »

[Buddie]

have you tried st johns wort. seems to be as effective and less side effects. I take it, it seems to help