Elderly forced into years-long tapers

Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« on: September 26, 2017, 12:52:06 pm »

[Buddie]

I was wondering if there are any here who are over 60 years of age and tapering. I feel it is a lot harder now that I am older. I am going to press on with this at a very slow taper rate. I don’t care how long it takes, as long as I have minimal to no symptoms. I need to be able to function and want quality of life. Just thought I would inquire. Thanks.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2017, 02:11:39 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi,

I was 62 when I began my taper, which, of necessity was a fast taper. Though it took me a long time to heal, I don’t regret it at this point, and am much better for being off benzos. It really was worth it. I’m 5.5 years off now.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2017, 02:26:09 pm »

[Buddie]

I completed my taper just after my 60th birthday. Now I am recovered and I feel good and I feel young again. I’m so glad I tapered off this crap. It’s worth doing at any age.
Love,
[…]

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2017, 04:56:22 pm »

[Buddie]

I will be 58 tomorrow so not quite 60 but close enough. I did a slow taper but I am still having issues. I don’t know that it can be avoided completely. Good luck with your taper. I am sure it will all be worth it in the end.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2017, 07:30:57 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m 64 but don’t know if there is a big difference between tapering at 20-30 years old or 50-60 years old. I just know that whatever time I have left, I want to be totally drug free including antidepressants that don’t work anyway.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2017, 07:37:04 pm »

[Buddie]

I am 61 and took my last xanax May 31st 2016. I tapered for four months and in hindsight I think my healing would have been smoother if I had gone a bit slower on the taper. I am so grateful at this point though to be free of xanax- the battle was worth it. I am living a pretty normal life now and most symptoms have lessened to a tolerable level. I wanted to give you hope that there is life on the other side even when you are 60 or older.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2017, 08:22:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m 68 and have been doing a very slow taper for years. For the most part I have been functional. My fears made and still do make the symptoms much worse! I’m down to 1.75mgs of Valium now. I was only on xanax .25 mgs for sleep for 18 months. I have been tapering on Valium for 4 years. I had some very long holds due to life altering events. I have never updosed. I have learned so much about myself during the last 4 years. I’m grateful for that. I look forward to the future and I know the best is yet to come! I do think age has an impact on tapering. My doctor agrees. Best of luck to you! 

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2017, 09:43:36 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you all for the encouragement and hope! It’s never too late and I know that I will feel much better when it is completed. Going low and slow is key. 4 years is what I think I may be looking at. That is fine as long as I can function. I have a mother who will be 90 in a few months and have to make sure she is doing well. She lives 3 hours away and I have to be able to travel and keep going. Sometimes we have no control over life’s circumstances and it does get harder as we get older. I also have some friends who are sick and I try to see them and help with their care. I am a retired RN so I still have the nurse in me. My husband is very supportive even though he can’t understand. I have sometimes say no to doing too much activity wise. I commend you all for your determination and positive attitudes! Thank you so much!
Happy Birthday […]!

Kooks claim benzos alter tongue muscles, robbing addicts of ability to speak

Trouble speaking
« on: September 26, 2017, 02:34:36 am »

[Buddie]

I’ve had trouble at times to speak at all. I cannot even answer the simplest questions. It’s so strange because I can type thoughts but they just don’t come out of my mouth. Has anybody had this because it is very scary

Re: Trouble speaking
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2017, 03:18:08 am »

[Buddie]

It is because your tongue muscles have been altered and the part of the brain that control them have been messed up. It will take time. You will eventual have pain and possible movement. Do not freak out it is w/d and with time it will get better.

Addict goes doctor shopping

Just a little rant against Doctors
« on: September 25, 2017, 07:50:51 pm »

[Buddie]

So I wasn’t sure where else to put this, but just wanted to get it off my chest. I went to see my 2nd p-doc within the last month in order to attempt to obtain a legitimate prescription to valium for the purposes of tapering. Also was looking for a script to remeron, since my sleep is still pretty bad even after reinstating. I made the mistake of mentioning tapering down, and switching over from the klonopin that I had previously been on. Big mistake. In the US, doctors just don’t get it. He actually said “well if there’s an addiction, we need to stop the benzos. You’ll feel a little anxiety for a few days, but then you’ll be ok” Lol. He then said but if you have GAD, and valium or klonopin seem to work for you, then we can go that route. I immediately said yes, I think I’ve have GAD. You see, docs just don’t want to get involved in the whole tapering business. It’s messy. I’m not sure if they’re completely ignorant to protracted WD, or if they just don’t want to get involved in a tapering schedule. With them, everything HAS to have a diagnosis. And if it’s benzo dependancy (addiction or not), than they are apparently almost never willing to write a script to taper. Because if it’s dependance, the solution is to get off the drug right NOW, find some other diagnosis, and put you on some other med that probably won’t help, and will likely make things worse. Long story short.. I get ONE WEEKS supply of valium and remeron, and have to go back in a week (another $150) to re-evaluate. I’m just going to stick to my GAD diagnosis and taper on my own. Hopefully he will trust me enough to change the visits to once a month.

Here is the real kicker: In the whole visit, he offered me gabapentin, paxil, effexor, anafranil (which I’d be willing to retry at some point b/c it of positive past with it). And the most outrageous of all.. He actually offered me buprenorphine (Suboxone) to help treat DEPRESSION!! Are you kidding me?? I was trying to be as personable and friendly as I could, so I just said “hmmm.. I haven’t been on opiates in about 8 months. That might have made a little more sense if I made the transition back then, but at this point, I’m not sure what the benefit would be?”. Come to find out, their have actually been clinical trials using buprenophine for depression, and it’s soon going to be a new depression treatment! What’s next? Oxycodone for depresssion? It makes you feel good, right? Anyway, he just refused to believe or accept that I’m trying to allow my brain to slowly recover from years of addictive psychotropic drugs. And that it takes time. But that’s just not how they think. It can’t last that long, they say. There must be some underlying condition that needs to be treated with a new drug. That’ll fix it. Sigh. Western medicine.. I guess that’s how they stay in business.

Benzo addicts lament glory days of getting high

So...tried pot
« on: September 18, 2017, 03:06:18 pm »

[Buddie]

I live in NV so thought I would try some pot. Being 67 and remembering the great times back when. The good feeling and calmness I felt. Well, not now. I tried it a couple of times and felt wired, with no sense of well-being at all. Never again. How messed up is my body that it doesn’t react at all like a healthy body. My cns is so out of balance. I really feel this is for the rest of my life. 38 months out lots have healed, but my insomnia and fatigue is pretty much holding the same. In a very sad way, I have accepted it finally. Early on really thought I would get a life back. Oh well, tell myself I had 55 or so quite wonderful years. Many have not had that, with or without benzo use. I am grateful for those memories, as that is what gets me through the long lonely days and nights. Hugs to all.😏

Re: So...tried pot
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2017, 03:08:09 pm »

[Buddie]

Oh that’s too bad. Maybe it’s the strain? Either way, that doesn’t like fun.

Re: So...tried pot
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2017, 03:13:29 pm »

[Buddie]

Oh, don’t give up now, […]!! I’m 65 and 42 months out. I have to keep telling myself I’m going to make it through this. I don’t want to have my immune system go down for some damned drugs I’ve taken. I tried pot, too, in earlier times. Had wonderful experiences on it before. Especially liked it for exercising. I should have stayed with it instead of being put on a benzo, but at that time I thought “do the right thing” since it was illegal. HAH!! What a crock. Now I don’t feel the same way at all and had to forget about pot. It’s just not the same feeling anymore, unfortunately.

Re: So...tried pot
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2017, 03:15:19 pm »

[Buddie]

If you tried a high THC strain, that’s why. I would suggest trying a high CBD strain instead. I don’t know how long you’ve been off, but high THC would throw many folks into paranoia.

Re: So...tried pot
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2017, 03:45:56 pm »

[Buddie]

That isn’t the pot from your youth. It’s so much stronger. I’d guess that most of the stuff I did in high school (easy 70s) was 5-6% THC (maybe 8% if we got really good stuff). Nowadays, it’s usually 20% or higher, and can approach 30%. You have to take that into account and go super easy on it when you’re first starting (or re-starting).

Much depends on the strain as some have eluded to. Some strains make me all hyper (good for getting things done, but not for calming down). Some mellow me out. Those are the ones I seek to help with sleep. Best relaxing/sedating strain I found so far has a lot of myrcene (a terpene) in it.

Another route, as […] mentioned, was to add some CBD to the mix. A lot of people like strains that are moderate in both THC and CBD. Some use strains that are almost all CBD. So many choices today, so much information. Not like scoring a dime bag of whatever was available (often little better than ditch weed) back in the day.

FEAR OF BACON

Bacon
« on: September 14, 2017, 01:08:16 pm »

[Buddie]

Anyone have any trouble with bacon when in pretty accute state? I really need to eat a piece of bacon… Please, any opinions good or bad.

Re: Bacon
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2017, 05:19:45 pm »

[Buddie]

I understand your query. True – I don’t have any problems now, but i’m 3.7 years out. When I was in acute, milk products kind of gave me loose stool (not quite diarrhea). I had a fair bit of reflux and a little bloating. It wasn’t terrible, but I did have some minor GI issues/food sensitivities. I could pretty easily treat those ‘issues’ (e.g. with OTC antacids) or I could just ignore them (e.g. loose stool). I only dropped one ‘food’ (an artificial sweetener that seemed to give me hot flashes followed by night sweats). But it’s true – GI issues weren’t as big a withdrawal symptom for me compared with some of the other symptoms (insomnia had to be my most debilitating symptom). Perhaps others will chime in about bacon.

Re: Bacon
« Reply #23 on: September 17, 2017, 04:41:39 pm »

[Buddie]

There is uncured and no nitrate bacon.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2017, 12:50:24 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Bacon
« Reply #29 on: September 18, 2017, 06:07:37 am »

[Buddie]

Guys slightly off topic, but I added coconut oil to my diet yesterday (and i am going to create a new thread for this). Now it did not seem to rev me up, that is I did not 30 mins later suddenly start panicking, or tiwtching or anything like that BUT it kind of made me extremely mellow… EXTREMELY, as if I just hit a fat green weed flavoured pegasus bong. Following this I have never felt so chilled, not in 5 weeks, sleepy and chilled and well calm… NOW im no scientist and I should probably be thankfull but im worried AF now. How cna that be. Does coconut oil mess with your GABA receptors? I think its good to have fats like coconut oil in your brain right for nerve healing, but whats up with that effect? Would you all be worried? IS coconut oil one of those foods that we should be avoiding like certain herbs that people avoid which interact with GABA? Any feelings on this? then we can go back to the bacon.

Re: Bacon
« Reply #35 on: September 18, 2017, 11:54:25 am »

[Buddie]

new girl do you weigh 42 kg’s? eish…. I may have some other issues rolled in though. doctors are sending me for MS screening. I am fine most days then out of the blue I get hit with these head symptoms, I become instantly dumb, feels like there is a block in the left side of my face, struggle to think and concentrate, get deeply detached and hazy. Very scary. I am hoping that is not he case. I was free of this best for 10 months, and then I took like 55 times the amount of vitmain b complex that a normal human should take per day for 3 days and suddenly anxiety started, then physical symptoms and now full on cognitive symptoms. So my problems are pretty huge right now. I dont know if this think is a benzo relapse, some kind of permanent damage from the high number of multivitamins I took (which in hindsight I have learned can actually do nerve damage) or some sort of MS attack. Very scary. I am HOPING like hell it is a just a benzo fall back and not MS or the multiple types of complications that vitamin hypertoxicity can cause. Its pretty scary. I’m pretty chilled by its a scary place. the fact that symptoms come and go tell me its very possibly a benzo wave. But it has lasted 5 weeks now with very little improvement if any. At least on the mental side. I think that I have just generally damaged my nervous system at this point, who knows.

Re: Bacon
« Reply #36 on: September 18, 2017, 12:40:43 pm »

[Buddie]

Oh, […], I’m so sorry to hear you have these terrible symptoms, must be really tough! 

It’s good that you are seeing some doctors about this, even if they don’t find anything, it’s better to be reassured. I don’t have much experience with PAWS, as I am still tapering, so I don’t have much advice here, maybe you could also post in the Post-withdrawal support thread about this?

Just out of curiosity, if you don’t mind sharing, what did you take the vitamin b complex for? And how did you manage to obtain such a high dose?

Big hugs and all my strengths to you!!! I hope you’ll get soon over this!

Re: Bacon
« Reply #37 on: September 18, 2017, 12:58:29 pm »

[Buddie]

NewGirl,

I’m a complete idiot. it was a collection of vitamins that I had built up over probably the space of a year and a half. I got a mild headache and thought hey maybe I will just give myself a vitamin BOOST and that will clear it up. it was 6 different bottles. 3 were B-complexes, one was a Maxi-B, one was an iron and folate (which also had B vits), and the other 2 were multivitamins. All had B-complexes all of them basically. I had been healed for o long that withdrawal was no longer a part of my life, I was healed 100 percent. I never even thought ” hey this could trigger me” thats how war out and healed I was. I took all 6 pills each day for a few days, I might have even doubled up on one day. Im so embarrassed even typing this actually, its like i potentially threw my life away. the damage seems permanent and I seem VERY sensitive to foods, I think high vitamin b-6 foods. So i eat no meat. I am eating enough in my opinion to maintain my weight but alas it still drops at least 250 grams a day… SO in short, my issues may not even be benzo related, I may have simply poisoned my nervous system (potentially fatally), especially if I cant eat meat. Im basically holding on, hoping my weight doesnt drop to levels where they have to hospitalize as this would lead to medicating by doctors who dont understand benzo withdrawal let alone vitmain hypertoxicity. so I want to avoid that. You see, im not sure if this is maybe a benzo setback, GOD i hope it is NewGirl. then I know i have hope. If it is poisoning then I dont think I see the year out. Which I have made peace with actually. Its just my kids that worry me… My heart is breaking for my kids, one is 4 and the other is 4 months. All I can do is hold on. its so complicated, what if i get diagnosed with MS but it isnt MS and they treat me and it aggravates my potential benzo withdrawal further. What if it really is MS and they medicate me with steroids or something that I would obviously need but that is not compatible with my benzo history? Do I then live my whole life in withdrawal due to the medication that I need to live continuously triggering withdrawal? Its a complete mess. OR it is vitamin hyper toxicity and the doctors hospitalize me and pump me FULL of nutrients to help me pick up weight, including more B-vits thus doing more damage. SO Ja, I went from being in the absolute best position ever, healed from benzo withdrawal after just a month and a half (maybe 2 months) to basically the worst position that a mortal person could be in. I basically check mated myself. Apologies for the long respond and for killing the fun nature of the post.

And dont worry, surprisingly my mind is in the right place regardless of all of this, I am getting used to it. the thing that makes me worry that its not withdrawal but more just some kind of permanent toxicity damage to the nervous system is that it has reached a point where it just isnt improving at all. Im hoping something just happens and it begins to lift or fade with time, like the nerve damage can magically heal over time. But in the mean time im not sure what to eat and what to avoid so as to fascilitate this repair. Real tough. I live with a lot of powerful anxiety which is not in the mind but in the nervous system, if you have withdrawn from benzos then you know what that feels like, I have detachment, fear, pain in limbs, tired limbs. So unbelievable, and I was a new man, healed, new house, new kid, beautiful wife. All pretty much on its way out. Tough one.

Apologies again 

Angry addict’s rage puts two-year old at risk

Extreme Rage/Anger
« on: September 11, 2017, 10:23:00 am »

[Buddie]

I have this constant rage or anger where I just want to start screaming or punching walls. It lasts almost all day. I have zero patience with anything/anyone. Can anyone relate/validate this for me? When did it subside for you? I have a 2 year old daughter and I get so frustrated way to easily.

I need reassurance 

Re: Extreme Rage/Anger
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2017, 10:30:00 am »

[Buddie]

deep massage in the liver

it went away with time for me

Re: Extreme Rage/Anger
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2017, 03:05:03 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve been having this on and off during my taper. It is very hard to not actually get very angry at something for me. I think the longest it lasted was two weeks but it seems to keep coming and going for me.

Kooky Monday: Benzo belly is back!

Benzo Belly
« on: September 09, 2017, 09:29:07 pm »

[Buddie]

I see this term thrown around a lot. What exactly is it?

Re: Benzo Belly
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2017, 01:42:27 am »

[Buddie]

It’s sort of a catch-all term for belly/G.I. symptoms. It includes, bloating, reflux, nausea, weight gain, weight loss, and may also include constipation/diarrhea.