Confused addict wakes up in cult, misery to follow

Re: Anxiety at 4 p.m. every day
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2017, 07:55:50 pm »

[Buddie]

I need desperately to talk to someone about how to navigate this forum. I also notice that most of the posts I read are often many, many years old. What’s up with that? I also had a question about any updated versions [other than the 2011 supplement] of the Ashton Manual or something similar. Has there really been hardly anything new discovered or able to be shared that can help those of us who are suffering so badly? I have so many questions and would really like to speak to someone who might be able to help me. Like I said, navigating this forum is very difficult for me. I am not as literate as I’d like to be with it, plus the drugs during surgery and the benzo’s have really messed up my cognitive abilities. I used to be really “sharp.” I had gotten off of Klonopin and onto Valium June 25, 2017 and then tapered from 12 mg. Valium to “0” on Sept 1, 2017. My body was burning the whole time from 9/1/17 to 11/15/17 and then progressed rapidly to almost total sleeplessness and “acid” burning over my whole body and inside every “cavity” in the body. All my bones hurt and everything the dr.’s tried me on did not help: Gabapentin, Trazadone, Hydroxyzine, muscle relaxants, sleep aids, Beta-blockers, etc. I couldn’t even move anymore and was literally dying. Dr. put me back on 10 mg. valium, but I instantly dropped it down to 6.25 mg. I take 5 mg. to sleep at night and .25 first thing in the morning. I desperately want to get off this “poison,” but am literally scared to death! I was told later by a doctor at the Urgent Care I visited that I tapered wayyyyyy too fast. He said he advises his patients to take at least a half a year. I did my 12 mg. taper a little over 2 months. I suffered while tapering, but thought that was all part of the process. I am really ignorant when it comes to supplements, medications and drugs. I didn’t use them. I ate very healthy and even taught health and nutrition. I am told by a new neuropsychologist and all the past doctors that the drugs during surgery [anethethesia, antibiotics, or pain meds such as morphine, oxycodone, etc.] messed up my mind and then all the benzo’s and antidepressants [including Mirtazepine] they tried without success, all added to the attack on my poor brain. Now I am still suffering from a very sensitive brain response and increasing depression because of all of this mess, but see no way to get out of it. How can I taper when I am feeling so very badly? Are my symptoms from the benzo withdrawal? The Mirtazepine withdrawal [did this along with the benzo withdrawal–a big “no-no” I am finding out later]? Or is my brain permanently messed up due to the drugs at surgery? Since I don’t know, I am confused as to what to do. Any thoughts? Can someone please at least tell me how to navigate the forum and at least be willing to answer any questions about it if there is nothing you can help me with about my physical/mental condition post-surgery/benzo/antidepressant?

Please, please help me.
Thanks,
[…]

Benzo Buddies member laments having to give up booze

no more social drinking!! makes me sad
« on: December 28, 2017, 09:09:37 am »

[Buddie]

My insomnia is just as bad as the beginning (end of april 2017) when I quit Temazepam.
My insomnia was moderate to mild when I started the Temazapam, but got severe after going on those pills.
It has an effect on all aspects of my life: work (concentration, not being so happy and ergetic anymore), social (going out a lot less), relationship (not the energy to do fun things), self-esteem (nobody feels good with only 2 hours of broken sleep a night) etc.

The think I did enjoy was my weekly going out with friends, I would drink two glasses of wine, sometimes even three. I feel like a normal person and forget about this benzo horror. Still, I could never ever sleep after a night of drinking (not even the two hours), but it felt like worth it in the sense that at least I felt like a normal person one night a week.

Now, these Christmas days, I drank two glasses of wine on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. I am awake now for 4 days already. I guess it is time to let go of that part of life also. It is stealing away my social life also.

Ofcourse, I should be able to enjoy nights out without wine, but I found it difficult!

So, from now on… No more wine for me in 2018 (from now on).
Anyone else struggling with giving up social drinking?

Ativan addict eats handful of pills to calm nerves, tosses years-long taper in garbage

So disappointed in myself
« on: December 27, 2017, 02:49:57 am »

[Buddie]

After being free of Ativan for 2 days, I caved and had to take some because the anxiety was awful. I’m so disappointed in myself😞I feel like a failure.

Benzo Buddies cult orders member NOT to attend grandmother’s funeral

Advice of rescue pill do or dont.
« on: December 27, 2017, 10:16:54 am »

[Buddie]

Does a 5 mg of Valium destroy my w/d ? I am benzo free since 1 of October 2017. I am going to a funeral and I have a hard w/d.
Is zoplicone as bad as benzo? I need to sleep the night before the funeral.
If i take one of them will I be back to zero and has to do all crap again

Re: Advice of rescue pill do or dont.
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2017, 12:51:08 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 27, 2017, 10:16:54 am
Does a 5 mg of Valium destroy my w/d ? I am benzo free since 1 of October 2017. I am going to a funeral and I have a hard w/d.
Is zoplicone as bad as benzo? I need to sleep the night before the funeral.
If i take one of them will I be back to zero and has to do all crap again

Please don’t reinstate. You have three months of very hard work – the worst period –
behind you now. Taking any risk with that is definitely not something to take lightly and it is most certainly not in your best interests.

You do not have to go to any event, funeral or otherwise; put your recovery first. Not only are you ‘entitled’ to put yourself first, it is imperative that you do so, for your own benefit and the benefit of others who are dear to you.

In time, there will be plenty of opportunity to ‘make up for’ your absences and inabilities of this current period, when your mind is clear, your abilities and capabilites have returned and external activities have become an easy, ordinary thing to do, once again.

I had to miss my son’s wedding for similar reasons and (at the time) suffer the ignominy of my own embarrassment which resulted from that, along with those ‘confirming’ feelings of utter helplessness that also arose from it. (That’s not to mention my second-guessing the uninformed assessments of others and “what they must have thought of me”…) However, my abilities and circumstances now are very different and I am the living proof to others, to myself and now, hopefully, you, that very careful management of your condition has to be your first priority and that no one else can do it for you.

Re: Advice of rescue pill do or dont.
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2017, 01:17:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 27, 2017, 12:51:08 pm
Quote from: [Buddie] on December 27, 2017, 10:16:54 am
Does a 5 mg of Valium destroy my w/d ? I am benzo free since 1 of October 2017. I am going to a funeral and I have a hard w/d.
Is zoplicone as bad as benzo? I need to sleep the night before the funeral.
If i take one of them will I be back to zero and has to do all crap again

Please don’t reinstate. You have three months of very hard work – the worst period –
behind you now. Taking any risk with that is definitely not something to take lightly and it is most certainly not in your best interests.

You do not have to go to any event, funeral or otherwise; put your recovery first. Not only are you ‘entitled’ to put yourself first, it is imperative that you do so, for your own benefit and the benefit of others who are dear to you.

In time, there will be plenty of opportunity to ‘make up for’ your absences and inabilities of this current period, when your mind is clear, your abilities and capabilites have returned and external activities have become an easy, ordinary thing to do, once again.

I had to miss my son’s wedding for similar reasons and (at the time) suffer the ignominy of my own embarrassment which resulted from that, along with those ‘confirming’ feelings of utter helplessness that also arose from it. (That’s not to mention my second-guessing the uninformed assessments of others and “what they must have thought of me”…) However, my abilities and circumstances now are very different and I am the living proof to others, to myself and now, hopefully, you, that very careful management of your condition has to be your first priority and that no one else can do it for you.


Yes, you are so right.. It is my grand mothers funeral. It makes me so sad. Feels like I am in a mental prision.
I was taking a glass of Baileys last weekend and I start to feel anxiety after that….So no more alcihol

Ashton tapers horrific for women

Horrific PMS/PMDD during taper
« on: December 26, 2017, 03:59:19 pm »

[Buddie]

For the ladies:

I’m REALLY struggling with this a few days before my period. Suicidal depression, severe anxiety and akathisia, rage… Rashes, bloating so much worse than during the rest of the month. I feel like I’m in acute/dying with the intensity of the symptoms. Anyone relate?

I would really appreciate your input.

Kooks add soy sauce, sushi, olives with (or without) garlic, MSG to list of forbidden foods

Soy Sauce????
« on: December 24, 2017, 04:45:50 pm »

[Buddie]

I was reading about “kindling”. It talked about the overproduction of glutamate. Soy sauce has glutamate. I ate sushi last night with tamari & this morning had a bad episode of symptoms (weak & shaky legs, distended stomach, blurry vision). Any correlation??

Re: Soy Sauce????
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2017, 05:29:33 pm »

[Buddie]

No clue I ate some green olives with garlic and immediately had issues be I don’t know why

Re: Soy Sauce????
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2017, 06:30:52 pm »

[Buddie]

Tons of MSG in both Sushi at a lot of places, and soy sauce, which also contributes to glutamate.

Re: Soy Sauce????
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2017, 04:30:53 am »

[Buddie]

MSG is a major trigger for many people during withdrawal, and soy sauce is really high in it. Yes, there is definitely a correlation between MSG and waves.

Re: Soy Sauce????
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2017, 06:26:14 am »

[Buddie]

Absolutely! Even now, almost 10 months off, if I were to consume soy sauce, it would get real ugly, real fast.