Benzo Buddies member taking psychedelics daily to cope with benzo withdrawal

Re: Psilocybin and MDMA (Psychedelic Drugs) for Psychiatric Disorders
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2018, 03:53:57 pm »

[Buddie]

I microdose pretty much daily. I was so afraid at first and the first month but it has proven well worth it as I have been practicing having this in my life for 3 months now. It helps me with concentration, staying present, organising sentences, facing obstacles and fears, processing emotion, handling emotion and so much more. I also experience less pain through withdrawal as psylocibin allows my energy to flow through my chakras as opposed to getting stuck and causing unneeded stress. I am 17 months into protracted and I give a lot of credit to my shroomy fungi friends. Every morning and night I also drink at least 1 to 2 grams of lions mane mushroom in my tea or steeped in hot water. The fibers are known to help our nerves grow along with a bunch more benefits. . This is just my journey :)

End Psychiatry has epic meltdown

Follow the link to read all the comments.

A sampling:

The damages are to my reputation. The statements also effect me psychologically and make me fear for my life as I am a political dissident in my own country and I speak against state backed psychiatric torture. Calling me ‘crazy’ et al leaves me at serious risk of being tortured. I am psychologically damaged from these types of defamatory statements made in public.” – DC

“Jesus Christ man, let it go. Seems to me you don’t want anyone else’s opinion on any matter. If you don’t want an opinion, then don’t take it. There’s no need to make a storm out of a tea cup. And yes, you seem to love a rant. I write a one sentence comment and you reply 5 times with several paragraphs. That is a rant. Surely you have more important things to worry about than my opinion? IMO saying you have head issues is not slander. You think it is. You’re going to court anyway so you’ll find out. Why is this an argument? Why is this an issue that’s taking up your valuable time? I hope you get what you’re looking for. Good luck. No need to rant on and on about it.” – MA

“I’m blocking now. It’s just not fair for this poor guy. He’s going to have a meltdown if he has to continue replying to all of these comments. I’m just in a state of shock! It’s pure insanity!” – MA

End Psychiatry oh and you’re stalking my personal page too. You know slanderous comments are only slander if they’re not true right? You’re doing a great job making a case for the opposition here…” – MA

“Maybe dont end psychiatry…it might be needed haha” – LW

Do you always wake up in the morning and think about how you can derail civil rights movements and jeopardize the safety of human beings?” – DC

“Can someone explain this to me?The only reason I’m here is due to the admins reputation for blocking people and making unsupported claims. You’re making yourself internet famous due to posts like this…..you’re the one posting mate. Can you really blame them for laughing at your child like responses?” – MB

Ryan Owen so are you implying the statement ‘you definitely have head issues’ is factual? Do you have any evidence to support this assertion if that is your assertion?” – DC

“Mate I was actually trying to help you. This post makes you look crazy AF!!!” – RO

Does psychiatric torture make you happy? Does it make you happy to jeopardize the safety of those I represent by publicly claiming my messages about psychiatric torture of human beings and slander of those who speak out for them ‘makes me look crazy af’?

“You weren’t tortured you were medicated and from my point of view with good reason.” – RO

I was born to lead, get used to it” – DC

It’s the same guy swapping between accounts….it’s pretty funny. We’ve known the whole time. No one agrees with him so he swaps accounts and likes his own comments…..Bwahahaha.” – MB

“I am in the same matter here, in a shabby abandoned locked Ward, London Brixton, not the first time, this time for a compensation due to medical negligence. Taking pictures and videos as well and all sorts of evidence material. Time has changed. International medicine has changed to respect the union of body mind and soul. This is just a hoax of the pharmaceutical industry and repetitive if we go back in time when the concentration camps sold individuals to Bayer for experiments.” – KIS

“Is this a joke?” – PF

“Sadly the admin is real….I thought it was fake too!! He uses fake accounts and likes his own comments but this moron is definitely real.” – MB

THIS TAPER FAILED

5 years and 7 months off
« on: March 15, 2018, 11:38:37 pm »

[Buddie]

I feel worse and worse.I go to AA meetings.I work little bit with children.I do my best .I go to the therapist.I got marriesd 2 years ago.I changed all my life.But thightness in my solar plexus , chest is bigger and bigger.I almost cant breathe.I used to run but now I cant run because I cant breathe and pain in chest is unbearable.At first I could go to football matches and yell , support my team -now I cant because I cant scream.
I havent been here long time because I didnt need your help.Iam in different piont of my life.But now I need you again.Maybe I dont deserve your help because I dont help you Buddies (only sometimes I write smth helpfull) but I would be gratefull for each good word.
Since I was ten I have obssesive compulsive disorder.Maybe I should take some pills.???
[…]

Kooky Monday: Constant need to spit, internal bubbling

If I hear an internal bubbling when I drink liquid.
« on: March 19, 2018, 03:31:33 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi, I need help today.
If I hear an internal bubbling when I drink liquid.
and I constantly need to be spitting, I do not know if saliva or flow that comes from my esophagus
My mouth is burned. please give me a hope that this will happen

Thank you

Cult members waste years at Benzo Buddies, waiting for the Ashton miracle that never comes

Looking for my 2014/2015 buddies
« on: March 14, 2018, 06:55:21 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve been feeling really lonely lately as the symptoms drag on into year three. Losing hope for a miraculous turnaround, wondering if I should just learn to cope with the way things are, the new normal- you know the drill.

I used to post a lot on the working taperers group, the moms and dad’s cafe and the Ashton taper thread. I thought about posting there to see if anyone was still around, but decided to do this instead.

Sleepless in the Bay Area-
[…]

Re: Looking for my 2014/2015 buddies
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2018, 06:56:55 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi […]. I’m still hanging around. Get a bearable day once in a blue moon. What are your symptoms?

Welcome to Benzo Buddies. Welcome to Hell.

Two years in acute detox. Welcome to hell.
« on: March 15, 2018, 07:25:21 am »

[Buddie]

Thank you for reading. I […] my story will instill a sense of […] and encourage the reader. I AM the “hey at least I’m not that guy.”

I am 18 months off of Valium and 11 months sober. I took 20-30mg of Valium for one year. I tapered over 1.5 years to freedom.
My sobriety date is March 9th 2017 (the day I cold turkeyed suboxone)
I am a 28 year old male from California. I am a professional athlete who had 5 years off heroin/oxycodone from november 2009-January1st 2015

Part 1. Purgatory. A dissent.
January 2015. I began a Valium taper after 20-30mg a day habit for one year.
Began 600mg of Gabapentin 300mg three times daily.
February 2016. At 7mg of Valium holding for a total of 90 days.
During which time I injured myself. I fell down 40ft of steep concrete 3x (*athlete).
Prescribed oxycodone for one month. (Fractured heel, dislocated shoulder, concussion, rib damage, two fingernails ripped off and a lot of deep disgusting road rash)
Switched to Methadone.

Part 2. Cruel and Unusual. Methadone. A different kind of monster. February-June of 2016.
I had Kaiser at the time. Dr. “Devil” we will call him was overseeing my Valium taper.
The Methadone clinic wrote down I was a “five year user of oxycodone”. I told them I was five years clean. I told the intake nurse, the doctor, the receptionist, EVERYONE, multiple times I used oxycodone for 30 days and was 5 years CLEAN.
They tested me in at the highest level allowed to start. They jumped me to 72 and proceeded raised me to 100 in the quickest way legally allowed in California. I told them I wanted to do 21 day taper. Doctor said, “that doesn’t work. We need to stabalize you on a high dose and taper you down.”
Holding at 10mg Valium. Dr. Devil has no idea I quit the oxycodone and attempted a 21 days taper at methadone clinic.

At 100mg I began to die. Literally. Having only been on Oxycodone a month, 100 units of methadone while ON Valium should have killed me.
I was vomiting on a regular basis (from being OVERDOSED), I turned grey, was having heart palpitations, sleeping all the time, and woke up every night with my skin ON FIRE drenched in sweat and vomiting violently until 445am in line to dose at 5am.
While seeing the nurse one day at clinic I was screaming at her saying the methadone was killing me and I didn’t understand why I was on such a high dose only being on oxy for thirty days.
She reviewed my notes and said,”It says here you were on Oxycodone for five years. I SCREAMED,” What have you done! I was five years clean literally over and over and dove for the paperwork. A male counselor ran in and tackled me as I screamed and cried hysterically “You’ve killed me. I am going to die repeteadly.”
I requested documentation and planned to sue.

Part 3- The Methadone Mafia.
I booked an appointment immediately with Dr. Devil at Kaiser. I told him everything that had happened. *****I also told him I planned to sue the Methadone clinic for mall practice. A guaranteed win I thought****(remember this detail)
With terror in his countenance he exclaimed,”You can’t be on methadone and valium! You could drop dead at any moment! I need you to authorize the Methadone clinic to send over your paperwork immediately so I can help you.”

The methadone clinic was the enemy. I stormed in to the clinic, demanded my paperwork, and told them they were getting sued.
They wouldn’t give it to me. I cried “HIPPA” its my right! They stalled for as long as legally possible. During which time the owner of the Clinic wanted to meet me.
She was polite, and attractive. Her father a drug czar featured in magazines. She asked what was going on? I told her everything. She teared up apologizing. I didn’t care. They would burn for this. I told her to send my paperwork to Kaiser ASAP.
I remember this like it was yesterday. Her face went cold, looking down. Drawing a deep breath, gathering her composure, carefully raising her eyes to meet mine she spoke as she slowly exhaled,”I don’t trust this doctor devil. I think he has something planned. I have a bad feeling about this. Are you sure?”
“Of course!” I yelled. I was not to be fooled. The methadone clinic was the antagonist of this story. Kaiser is my private healthcare afterall!
“Okay, I’ll do it.”

Part 4- Breaking Doctor Patient Confidentiality. Betrayal and a death sentence rendered by Dr. Devil of Kaiser Permanente.
I called Doctor Devil to set up my next appointment and said I finally got them to send my paperwork.
I could not get an appointment and I was running out of Valium. It was like he was ducking me.
I finally got ahold of his nurse. She promised he would help me and got me an appointment and got me an appointment that week.

I showed up. The nurse called me back. I walk in to the doctors office eager to tell of my plans to sue the Methadone clinic. I was full of […]. Dr Devil is sitting across from me. To my left his nurse/assistant is standing against the wall looking horrificly scared and nervous. Next to her is an armed security guard staring at me.
I look back at doctor devil and ask what the hell is going on? Why is a security guard with a freaking gun in here? Why does your nurse look like she just walked halfway through watching the exorcist? (I literally said this)
Dr. Devil proceeded to say he was there to “protect ME” (Seriously).
He began to speak in a tone I had never heard. He spoke down to me like a second class citizen. A junkie. Scum.
He said that he was cutting me off the valium. He would provide one last script and I was to taper off 10mg with one script.
I asked about having a seizure or dying. He said the gabapentin would prevent seizure. He then said the armed security guard would take me to the pharmacy. He would not be liable for someone on methadone and valium at the same time. Kaiser would not allow it.

Part 5-Hell awaits.
I go back to the methadone clinic. They would let me dose but the methadone clinic owner demanded to see me.
She was right. Dr. Devil screwed me. This next part is VERY important.
She proceeded to tell me that Dr. Devil had “Told her over the phone I was actually serious on planning to sue the methadone clinic, was obtaining a lawyer, and seeking litigation.” She asked, “Is this true.”
Dr. Devil broke Doctor Patient Confidentiality. This is a capital offense for doctors. Guaranteed loss of silence, being sued successfully, and potential jail time.
I was in utter shock and disbelief. I said it was true.
It’s not legal to drop someone off methadone cold turkey from 100. But they could drop me 10 units a week (Your supposed to drop 2 units a week)
So it began. Fearing for my life I asked Kaiser to get me into detox. I was done, defeated, and ready to turn myself in to the care of medical proffesionals fearing for my life.
I was told no detox would allow me in until I reached a MINIMUM of 30 units. Modern medicine was not capable of treating anything higher safely.
A death sentence.
I have one scrip of Valium to taper off.
I was to be rapid tapered of Methadone.
I could only deduce one possibility.
A cruel and unusual death awaits me.

Part 6- WELCOME TO HELL-Rapid tapering Valium and Methadone at the same time.
The methadone clinic violated more laws never giving me my paperwork (HIPPA)
Kaiser and the clinic were sweeping me under the rug.
I tapered off methadone 100, 90, 80, 70, 60. 50. 40, 30, 7 days apart.
I tapered down to 7mg of valium while doing this.
I will not go into detail of the horror of this. I simply can’t put words to it.ng.
I’m dead.”

I hit the magic number, 30 on June 27th 2016.
I coud take no more. I was so far past done. Kaiser said I would get a sleep medication and clonidine for withdrawal. I remember thinking one thi
Part 7-Suicide

********The rest of the story deleted because my login timed out. Will finish tomorow.**************
« Last Edit: March 15, 2018, 08:06:26 am by [Buddie] »

Kooks add frequent urination to list of 90,000,000 benzo withdrawal symptoms

Frequent urination
« on: March 16, 2018, 03:36:45 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi

On this past Sunday I dropped my klonopin from .25 mg to .125 mg and four days later ( Tuesday) I started having to go to the bathroom like four or five times an hour. If I drink water I have to pee minutes later and it’s usually only a little bit. Is this from the withdrawal? I am worried because I also have a herniated disc which can cause bladder problems but I went and had an MRI and they said it wasn’t the disc. So now I’m wondering if it’s a withdrawal symptom.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Thanks

Re: Frequent urination
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2018, 04:02:04 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on March 16, 2018, 03:36:45 pm
Hi

On this past Sunday I dropped my klonopin from .25 mg to .125 mg and four days later ( Tuesday) I started having to go to the bathroom like four or five times an hour. If I drink water I have to pee minutes later and it’s usually only a little bit. Is this from the withdrawal? I am worried because I also have a herniated disc which can cause bladder problems but I went and had an MRI and they said it wasn’t the disc. So now I’m wondering if it’s a withdrawal symptom.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Thanks
Yes. It’s fairly common in withdrawal as the adrenal system is impacted. The hormone aldosterone is secreted by the adrenals and helps retain sodium and prevent excessive urination. I went through this and had to take desmopressin to control it. It will improve as adrenal function normalizes.  :)–V