— End Psychiatry (@EndPsychiatry) December 30, 2019
Re: A single benzo dose years after withdrawal « Reply #67 on: December 29, 2019, 09:59:31 pm »
Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a more grossly inappropriate, compassionless, or shocking display on this forum in the 7+ years I’ve been here (and I’m referring to your recent posts, […], and now yours […], not […]’s). I can find nothing in this thread that suggests scaremongering or advice not to take certain classes of drugs at all (quite the opposite in fact), and certainly did not observe anything different than what occurs on this board on a daily basis, especially involving discussions about psychiatric medications.
To […]: I understand that you’re in charge here, and thus have the ability to silence anyone who you’ve deemed “dangerous” or “lying,” without the need for additional evidence or clarification or even a chance to defend oneself at all. You’ve made it clear that the truth (of what certain members did or did not experience, of whether certain antibiotics do or do not affect GABA receptors or cause setbacks, of the absolute medical necessity of certain drugs, etc) is not what is actually important here, and instead “safety” and “scaremongering” are your main concerns. And that much is fine. But the idea that you, […], are the sole arbiter of what constitutes “safety” and “scaremongering” and even “truth,” with the power to threaten and silence anyone who disagrees with you, at will, with no counterbalance from anyone else in this community, is something that I personally find deeply disturbing and ultimately unacceptable. You only see scaremongering and deception in […]’s posts; I see it in your own.
The irony is that in your attempts to keep this a “safe space” for some members, you’ve created the opposite for others. This is no longer a place where truth matters or where different opinions and experiences can be held.
Going to the dentist tomorrow. Would love some support. « on: December 28, 2019, 12:12:26 am »
I’m going to the dentist tomorrow because of a bad tooth. I have not been there in 10 years because of anxiety when it comes to the dentist. I still have agoraphobia.
Re: Going to the dentist tomorrow. Would love some support. « Reply #1 on: December 28, 2019, 12:17:58 am »
If its a lot of work to do, ask them to split the appointment into more single appointments to make it easier.
Ask them to interrupt, then stand up and do some jumps or stretches to lower the cortisol.
If you have to wait, walk around in order not to freeze in fear.
Tell the doctor that he must stop abruptly if you lift your hand.
While sitting in the chair, tap with your fingers on the legs and count from 1 to 1000.
Drink a cup of water before and after treatment.
After the appointment, move your body, shiver, shake it, jump.
You are in control. Tell them BEFORE about the stop signal, tell them to open a window, its you in charge, its your body.
If things are too difficult, stop and make a new appointment. You can decide, okey?
Tell them about your anxiety, if you want, but then TELL them about your strategies as well, because then no one will try to do things tHEY think are good for you and you might feel like a victim again. Instead – tell them while being bold and proud that you need some more time and air and you have some orders to follow – thats it. No big deal. Okey?
Re: Going to the dentist tomorrow. Would love some support. « Reply #2 on: December 28, 2019, 12:19:19 am »
I have been having to go to the dentist, because if alot of cavities. Another gift from Ativan. It is very stressful as I do not get anything to numb me. I only get two at a time done. Sometimes it causes a wave, but eventually it settles down. I think it’s my own fear more than the actual dentist visit itself.
You will be fine though, it will be over before you know it.
Re: Going to the dentist tomorrow. Would love some support. « Reply #3 on: December 28, 2019, 12:21:56 am »
I also have someone go with me. It makes it easier to deal with the anxiety. If you can, have someone go with you and hang out with you for awhile afterwards.
What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning) « on: December 24, 2019, 08:32:14 pm »
In 3 months it will be a year off, I have not noticed much improvement. I was slammed into complete dysfunctional and debilitating symptoms causing me to be housebound, and I’m still the same. Cognitive, emotional, mental, physical symptoms are still there when I compare the symptom list I created back in march. I’ve lost a year already. I keep thinking even if I do manage to recover to some functioning level, I’ll never be able to have the life I’ve worked so hard for. I won’t be able to return to my career if my health and sleep isnt 100%, because of the high demand even on a healthy body the stress can be high. I needed to be able to sleep on demand with high quality refreshing naps because of the unpredictable nature of workload. I’ll never be able to go through childbirth because I’m forever traumatized and paranoid that any meds or stress can send me back to acute, I wouldn’t want my kids to witness this let alone not have a healthy happy mother. I’ve cut ties with all my old friends for the past year, how am I ever going to explain to them what happened? Everyone had high hopes for me, now if they knew, I’d be the main topic of gossip in their circles. My social circles and even my extended family who are my generation are all high functioning healthy successful soon to be quite wealthy young adults.
So what’s left for me in this world? I feel like a parasite now, surviving on what the elders in my family can provide for me, and maybe when I recover I might “upgrade” to being a functional hermit.
It’s very difficult for me to have hope and be optimistic and grateful this holiday season. Especially since I’ve been waiting and waiting for symptoms to lessen or go away, but my brain has 24/7 been trapped in this alternate universe that’s hell. I also never have windows, not even glimpses of near normalcy. My brain is so far gone. When I was 22, I wanted to reach 30 because this is the year I could really start settling down and building my life after moving everywhere for training and work. Now that I’m 30, ironically, life is already over. and all I think about is dying so that misery isn’t prolonged.
For those that read this sad and dark post, thanks for listening. Anyone have any uplifting words to say I appreciate even more. I just don’t know the point anymore.
Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning) « Reply #1 on: December 24, 2019, 08:44:38 pm »
So, I have been ill and unable to work and largely housebound since 1996. All my then friends have had careers and bought homes and had families. I have nothing.
You will almost certainly feel well enough to live a worthwhile life in another year or two.
If your life is pointless where does that leave me? I am 51 now and even if I survive WD I will still have the underlying physical issues I was on Benzos for.
What does it say about all chronically sick or disabled people?
You have no idea where life will take you. Once your get through this you will be stronger and more determined than any of your friends plus you should have some real empathy, something g they will never learn unless something shit happens to them because it sounds like you all live a very entitled and unthinking life.
You will be fine.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2019, 09:01:56 pm by [Buddie] »
Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning) « Reply #2 on: December 24, 2019, 08:53:21 pm »
I know how you are feeling as im on the same boat.
I found my thinking about life is totally controlled by my sx at that moment. Even when sx is less intense with a brain kind of working for a minute, my perspective would be totally different, planning for thousands stuff for life. You are closer to healing everyday, once that day comes, your confidence, desire, motivation will be back more than ever.
When the sx are strong and you are still in depth of this process, try not to think tomorrow or future. Our thinking in this process is irrational only based on what we feel at the moment.
Just focus on each day and keep going. You survived almost a yr and will survive more days that comes, until you dont have to live by surviving moment by moment and then only enjoy every moment.
When these thoughts come, just vent here and we are around to listen to it. It will pass, possibly in just a few hours when the sx are lessoned.
Prescription drops for ear infection - safe for us? « on: December 24, 2019, 09:10:56 pm »
I was prescribed hydrocortisone, neomycin, and polymyxin B otic eardrops today for an ear infection. As I am now terrified from withdrawal of putting anything into my system:
Is this safe for us? Any adverse effects?
Thank you so much. Happy holidays.
Horrendous mood swings, intolerable food sensitivities « on: December 18, 2019, 10:29:51 pm »
I’ve taken multiple allergy tests and they say I’m not allergic to anything. I do notice that if i put something like a dorito in my mouth and begin chewing, the unpleasant sensations in my brain happen almost immediately, so it doesn’t seem like allergies are responsible, but who knows. For some time I was only able to eat select vegetables and meat. Now anything I eat gives me a reaction. It makes me feel suicidal. It reminds me of the head pressure/rubber band around your brain feeling many people in withdrawal articulate. I feel weak all over my body. Like I’m going to pass out. Light headed. Like all my muscles are made of jello. Dizziness, disorientation, motor coordination issues. It’s horrible. I’m positive it’s due to food in many cases because it happens immediately upon eating.
My anxiety comes and goes in huge spikes too. Happy angry sad optimistic dejected hopeless suicidal lonely lonely terrible loneliness. My symptoms are actually getting worse almost two months off, cold turkey
Food sensitivity causes panic « on: December 17, 2019, 02:04:48 pm »
Hi I posted on here a couple weeks ago, it disappeared. My husband is extremely light and sound sensitive. He was slowly over this year had to eliminate his foods. Started on a clean gluten free diet that went south, then it was bone broth and apples, grapes, then rice with a little meat, then an all veggie diet, that worked for a bit then it was blueberry smoothies with vegan protein powder, then to just one certain thing that we could find at the time that would miracoulsy help. Raw cold carrots seemed to be the safety net in all this. If the burn and the panic got too bad he could always eat a handful and it would calm it. Anything he tries to eat that is different it could go horrible or really good. He’s had endoscopy and bacterial testings… normal except for esophageal erosion from all the acid. He has to sleep propped up takes dexilant and nexium. Every now and then pepto, gavisgon pepcid when it “goes bad”. He also says he can tell when the food isn’t going to work anymore because it will taste horrible. When he has something new and it works he says its taste awesome… also if he gets “backed up” or his crap comes out more solid he says it’s about to get bad like a panic attack. So he will keep taking Miramax and do enemas like crazy… please tell me somebody else has experienced any of this. And give me suggestions please. Thank you
Wave from a cold? « on: December 18, 2019, 06:14:48 pm »
Does anyone else get waves from a cold? Brain fog, dizziness, can’t concentrate, exhausted, can’t think straight, insomnia…
Re: Wave from a cold? « Reply #1 on: December 18, 2019, 08:33:07 pm »
I got sick a bunch of times with cold/flu bugs during WD and I could never figure out if they were legitimate colds due to a weakened immune system or “benzo flu“. Either way, raw ginger helped me a great deal. I think the WD exacerbates any normal cold symptoms you get. […] you feel better soon!
Re: Wave from a cold? « Reply #2 on: December 19, 2019, 07:20:34 pm »
Yes! Just as I was starting to think I was turning a corner I got sick last Wednesday and hit by a wave of extreme insomnia with added night terrors (yay!) anxiety, confusion and irritability and now my period is due in less than two weeks. […] you feel better. You’re not alone ❤️
Re: Wave from a cold? « Reply #3 on: December 19, 2019, 07:44:58 pm »
Yes! I actually think my waves come in the form of a cold or flu. If other people have colds or flus, I get them very badly and have all the worst symptoms and include more benzo symptoms. If other people do not have colds and flus, and it’s just me, I more look at is as just benzo withdrawal, but it’s very much the same.
Re: Wave from a cold? « Reply #4 on: December 19, 2019, 09:38:53 pm »
I got a cold right after visiting family for Thanksgiving – my little granddaughter had a bad cold. I know I caught it from her. For me it definitely wasn’t a wave manifesting as a cold. There were also some stressful family dynamics. Whether it was stress or the cold or both, I went into a tough wave for about 10 days. I’m in a window now. Over the cold and feeling good.
I […] you feel much better soon!
Has Tapering ever resulted in severe mental disorders? « on: December 05, 2019, 12:27:40 am »
After freaking out during my taper, my doctor strongly recommended (ordered) me to go back up to 1mg and hold till I was ready to start tapering at my own pace. In that time, I’ve had some pretty strange mental effects. Disassociation, not feeling like I was in my body, watching events unfold around me like I’m not really there. Years ago (20+ years ago) I was diagnosed with drug induced psychosis. Since going back to 1mg, my mania has been reduced somewhat, but I find myself suffering from possible delusions and I don’t know if its something that is really happening or if I’m having a psychotic break.
Is this something people have experienced while tapering? Can tapering cause a psychotic break? Or was I already messed up and tapering just compounded my problems and brought some stuff that was just under the surface back again?
Any thoughts on this would be appreciated and before anyone can ask… No, I can’t afford to go to a psychiatrist, I can’t afford therapy, and I’ve been drinking myself into a stupor to try to get out of my head on a regular basis.
I used to do drugs to get away from anxiety and bad thoughts, coming off Klonopin has brought a lot of these old (almost forgotten) demons back and I don’t know if this is normal or if I got some serious underlying problems.