WITHDRAWAL

Ashton taper turns normal woman into dysfunctional freak

need to vent so much tonight.
« on: September 26, 2013, 03:32:13 am »

[Buddie]

this damn experience with psychotic drugs(benzo) is not something we should experience.
i wasn’t perfect before this whole crap, but do not recall having an anxiety, all those physical physical/mental craps, not able to function, not able to sleep, not able to exercise, or just do regular daily activities including running a business.
many people have posted that we will appreciate the life a lot more when recover. my strong statement is that we don’t need this kind of experience to appreciate the life.

this is just fucking bull shit.

Re: need to vent so much tonight.
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2013, 03:36:25 am »

[Buddie]

My sentiments.

Re: need to vent so much tonight.
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2013, 03:40:51 am »

[Buddie]

I agree […]. It is a terrible experience for us to endure. So many different symptoms coming and going every day.

I wish you strength to continue and hope your struggle eases soon. Take care! 

Re: need to vent so much tonight.
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2013, 03:43:31 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on September 26, 2013, 03:36:25 am
My sentiments.

this is not ethical or rational human being should be doing. but lately, i was praying that people who invented these poisons and those damn doctors who never listened or paid attention to my serious complains at the beginning should all go to hell.
i do not think that i have ever wished anybody to go to hell in my life. sigh.

Re: need to vent so much tonight.
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2013, 03:49:35 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on September 26, 2013, 03:40:51 am
I agree […]. It is a terrible experience for us to endure. So many different symptoms coming and going every day.

I wish you strength to continue and hope your struggle eases soon. Take care! 

hi […],
how are you doing my friend?
my brain has not returned yet and not in a control. i still cannot function normally. before this whole crap, i was running a business and making oversea business trips every few months. now, i have been homebounded for 15 months now with this damn benzo brain.
if i had any serious mental or psychological problems before, how did i do all these before? do not recall not able to sleep, eat, exercise, shopping, socializing, playing poker at casino, watching tv/movie, reading books, surfing the internet, and etc….
from bottom of my heart, i do not wish to see you at bb soon. this means that you have recovered. sure will miss you, but it is my true wish my friend.

Re: need to vent so much tonight.
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2013, 03:50:47 am »

[Buddie]

just can’t wait any longer to retrieve my brain back. it has not been working for 15 months now. shit……

Re: need to vent so much tonight.
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2013, 04:00:11 am »

[Buddie]

Hang in there, […]. I’m waaaay behind you! I hit four months tomorrow. I was feeling good at about three months and then a wave took it all away and now I’m just lost in a haze, stumbling through the days.

My mom died of Alzheimer’s Disease last Oct. 18. The one year “anniversary” of her passiing is just 23 or 24 days away. Lately, especially at night, I try and think and it seems as if my memory is all hazy and it terrifies me that I may be in the initial stages of Alzheimer’s and I can only hope and pray that the fog my brain and memory are in can be attributed to benzo w/d and not Alzheimer’s.

I try and think clearly and connect events and relationships to the past and it just seems like being able to organize things simply eludes me. I used to have a strong personality, a real zest for life, and enjoyed challenges that life threw at me. Now, I just try and stay calm and don’t do things to “rock the boat.” This is all so unlike me.

I just wonder if I will ever recover? What will the “real me” be like? The future is one big mystery…

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