Still stuck on not believing. « on: February 27, 2017, 08:59:21 am »
This is just stupid. I’m stuck on looping that this isn’t benzos but something permanent like BPD. I have huge ruminations over how everything is useless and how I should just kill myself because I don’t wanna be what I’ve become. I don’t have psyical sxs, only that mental torture chamber. I can’t trust anything anymore, not even myself. This past week has been terrible. Only thing that helps me is ranting and whining about my life to everyone and even that is only temporary. How to trust? How am I seriously supposed to believe that this will pass? I need some proof of the fact that this is withdrawal and nothing more. The dysphoria, anhedonia, depression and anxiety are just too much to handle. I don’t wanna die, I just don’t wanna live either.