Bipolar member of Benzo Buddies wishes for manic episode, just to feel good for one day

Re: How do we know if it's withdrawal and not an underlying condition?
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2017, 03:17:04 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 29, 2017, 03:01:02 pm
I’ve been on benzos for about 11 years. Not slowly taper to 2MG Valium. I had severe reaction when I tapered too quick to 0- panic attacks, brain fog, insomnia, total chaos as we’ve all experienced or read about here.

I kept thinking it was withdrawal from going too fast. But now that I am back stable at 2MG I had this though that the symptoms I experience when off benzos are exactly what I experienced when I got on them in the first place. Was in a rough transition patch in life in my 30’s and had panic attacks, surreal feelings, insomnia, etc- that’s why I started to taking K and it helped.

It’s sort of a scary thought to think about- that I may have some underlying condition that requires these meds as opposed to it being only withdrawal. That is scarier to me than the thought of battling my way down from 2MG to 0.

I know people don’t like to consider this but it’s got me a bit twisted lately. After battling so hard for so long to get off I am wondering if I just need a low dose for rest of my life– which would really suck. Rock and a hard place- on them I feel lethargic and apathetic, off them is absolute hell and chaos that I can’t do for more than a few weeks.

Anyone ever consider this?

Well, I guess you should be diagnosed by at least 10 different sensible pdocs, to know if you have a chronic condition. In other words, dual diagnosis. By good pdocs, not by quacks. There’s nothing worse than a wrong diagnosis. It’s like a stigma. You keep asking yourself: “what if I have it?”, “maybe I have it?” The worse is when you start thinking and acting as though you had it. And pdocs often tend to misdiagnose ppl. There is always DSM-5 to check if your symptoms correspond to the diagnosis. A must-have. But I suggest first undergoing a thorough psychiatric evaluation before even opening this book. Ever heard of medical students who diagnose themselves with every possible condition? Actually, it’s possible to download this stuff online. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar by an “eminent” pdoc 🙂 How lovely. No one has diagnosed me with bipolar before. How come I can function without APs, mood stabilizers and have never had a single manic episode in my whole entire life? I wish I had just one… To feel really good for a day…
« Last Edit: December 29, 2017, 03:28:01 pm by [Buddie] »

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