Mother on cocktail of benzos and narcotics wonders if she can ever be free

"You have changed"
« on: January 30, 2018, 04:28:03 am »

[Buddie]

Hi, my 26yr old daughter and an old friend recently noticed that I have changed. Others may not comment but their eyes and actions say it. I was prescribed valium in 2004 for muscle spasms and electric surges in my body. I have severe chronic pain from neuropathy. I was a happy mom,working a job i loved,very involved at church until i was sent to a pain doc. Started me on Vicodin and increased my Val from 4mg to 8mg a day. Worked up to 8 Vic a day. I wanted to die at this point. After two yrs got off Vic but i was told by many docs that Val wouldn’t hurt me. I would take chronic pain and constant electric vibrations any day over the shell of a person I’ve become. My pain and electric shocks are worse now. It took me 6 mo last yr to taper down to 4 mg, felt better until a family emergency took me cross country for 30 days. I freaked. I went back to 8 mg a day and I’m taking Vic or perc for pain and to feel normal when the doc will give me a few. I am desperate to get off all drugs but life and family and demands don’t stop.

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