Meet the Benzo Buddies Team: Pianogirl

pianogirl

My story starts with a trip to the ER for what were some dizzy, lightheaded symptoms I was having. I remember the day clearly, I had been painting our bedroom and although I had had episodes like this before, this time it was much worse. All the tests were normal and my doctor told me it was a middle ear issue and sent me to an ENT. Unfortunately the doctor was very busy and spent little time with me. He gave me a prescription for Ativan and said that the condition I had would just go away. After 6 weeks of taking Ativan I was dependent but didn’t know it, in fact I didn’t even know what a benzo was, because I’m stupid and have lived under a rock for the past 50 years. I was told to stop it, since it was a very low dose, for a vestibular wellness test, and that’s when I became very ill. Little did I know that I was going through withdrawal. My doctor said it wasn’t the Ativan because I had stopped it 2 weeks before. All the many medical tests came back normal. I was indeed anxious at this point and having so many scary symptoms, rather than keep trying the many sample meds my doctor gave me, which also made me ill, I decided to see a psychiatrist.

After being diagnosed as severely mentally ill, I was put on clonazepam and many antidepressants and other medications that my sensitive system could not tolerate. I began to feel sicker still and went for more tests and procedures. Around this time I started to research my medications, and asked my doctor many times about the safety of taking the clonazepam long term. My psychiatrist was on the right route, he just took a wrong turn. He’s stupid. He had my hormones tested as well as my thyroid because he didn’t see a psychological reason for the anxiety and other symptoms. After changing doctors once again, both my new doctor and I decided the medications were making me ill. I came across the Ashton Manual and we used it for a cross over to Valium since I was finding it difficult to taper from the clonazepam.

I found BenzoBuddies after I finished my taper and as with many here I so wish I had found it earlier. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but the most important. I am so much more proactive about my health and knowledgeable thanks to the people here at BenzoBuddies. They provided me a safe, kind and caring place to come whenever I needed encouragement or validation that what I felt was normal for withdrawal. This is a community of believers, believing that recovery will happen, that healing will occur, that Ashton and Colin are our gurus. Never lose sight of the goal to be benzo free, every day is a step in the right direction. I am happier than ever before even though I am not completely healed and I am so happy to be able to give back to those who have helped me so much.

2012-03-27

5 thoughts on “Meet the Benzo Buddies Team: Pianogirl

  1. I’m trying to figure out what to do. I have been getting horrific side effects from my klonopin for a few months now and wanted to come off. I asked around and here along with a few others told me to avoid BBs like the plague. I told my doctor I wanted to come off and he said just come off cold turkey, I had a seizure and ended up in hospital now I don’t know what to do or who to ask. What do you think?

  2. We don’t give medical advice here except to tell people to go to their doctor. I don’t believe any doctor would tell a patient to just stop their medication, and, without proof, I have to call bullshit on your claim.

  3. Well that’s useful. Did you read my post, my doctor gave me advice that lead to me having a seizure. I feel so lost, is there any other benzo support sites? Why is benzobuddies so bad.

  4. What is the purpose of this site? I thought it was to warn people against benzo sites, is there no alternatives?

  5. Hey Gary,

    I’m unable to make your decisions for you or make a taper plan (I’d also be highly suspicious of anyone claiming they’re able to do it for you) but I can offer some preliminary advice to consider.

    The moment a person hands over responsibility for using or withdrawing from meds to someone else, they’ve effectively given up responsibility for the outcome. I strongly advise against this approach, it’s why the majority of BB members are on BB to begin with.

    Tapering from any psychoactive substance is something doctors should be advising as standard, as that’s the standard medically-accepted approach.

    If yours isn’t offering that advice as an option he/she sounds like a pretty shit doctor. Sounds like it’s time for a new one!

    The problem with the online “benzo cummunity” is that it’s been hijacked by scammers, religious zealots (such as Scientologists) and people who spread a lot of pseudoscience which is often absurd in the extreme.

    Overall this adds a lot of stress, time & unnecessary doubt into people’s already fragile minds which isn’t helpful and can actually be dangerous.

    I’d suggest trying a new doc and seeing how that goes. Nobody on the Internet can make any reliable programme for you as they don’t have access to your full medical history.

    Good luck, pal. ✌️

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