There is hope, this will be deleted but give yourself a chance, this is goodbye
« on: July 28, 2019, 10:30:21 pm »

[Buddie]

This will probably be deleted, this is my goodbye to BB, this group was indeed helpful when I was in wd, it was hell yes, but my wd did NOT started because of benzos but due to anaphylaxis from Salbutamol. I was off all meds for almost 13 months, I reinstated Valium (10 mgs) amd started on Zoloft (75 mgs) last April 5th and it has been a life saver. I am 90-95% healed. Since I was a kid I had OCD and intrusive thoughts (hram/suicidal) I had no idea it was an actual ILLNESS… when my daughter was 5 months old BEFORE VALIUM I had this “urges” of throwing her down the stairs (she’s 20 yo now and the love of my life, I did NOT wanted to kill her, it was my mental demons) that’s when I started using (and abusing) Valium (up to 200 mgs a day for 19 years) yet it saved my life, those thoughts stopped and I was able to raise her and have a normal life. Even so, OCD has always been a part of me, last March and May 2016 I had two anaphylaxis due to Salbutamol and almost died, I had horrible PTSD and stopped all meds and started tapering Valium, it was a nightmare but now looking back I’m not sure how much of it was real wd and how much it was PTSD… had horrible sxs (mental and physical) … all physical sxs went away and after almost 13 months off I was housebound again due to my harm/suicide thoughts, it was NOT wd, I had them before benzos, those thoughts are the reason I started on Valium. I was desperate and took Zoloft and reinstated Valium, I can truly say that my life changed… contrary to what most ppl say, my life on benzos is way better, some on the fb groups even say “that mental illness is a lie”!!! WTF?? NO!! it’s like there is a new mafia against Benzos where ppl rather commit suicide than admit they need a med… I really wonder how many of the ppl who committed suicide would be alive today if they had reinstated. I’m not saying that valium or any other benzo or SSRI is a “magic pill” and no, should not be taken for sleep or for pain, but brain chemical imbalance is real… if all of you guys who want to create awareness about wd also create awareness about MENTAL ILLNESSES… I’m not pro or against Benzos, I’M PRO MY OWN MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH, and if I need a pill to feel fine I will take it, it’s also self-care. I joined here more than two years ago, now I leave, I got useful advice and to me, I am a success story, I am living a life I actually enjoy, that’s all that matters to me… my final words are that I hope this is not deleted (I will not log in anymore) and I hope ppl know there is a choice, fight for your health, not against meds, do what’s best for you, I did and I don’t regret it, thank you and best wishes.