I REALLY NEED SOME ANSWERS....cannot live like this any longer « on: November 04, 2020, 09:38:05 pm »
I’m at 7 1/2 months off .5 clonazepam taken as directed daily for 20 years. I was in tolerance for a year and a half before I ct’d. I have been unfunctional and bedridden for two years now. My whole body is shutting down. I can’t even touch my skin without having extreme pain. Cognitive function has not improved…getting worse. The tinnitus is getting worse every day. I have to have the volume on loud on the t.v. to try to drown it out.
The looping thoughts and constant phrases from a song go through my head all day long. The dp/dr is worsening I’m existing in an alternate universe) and I haven’t been able to even go sit outside anymore (I used to go out for just a couple minutes a few times a day). My vision is so bad that I cannot even look at my cellphone for more than a couple minutes at a time. The last time I was out of my house at all was 2 weeks ago. I went for a drive with my husband, which was excruciating. The only time I’m out of bed is to go lay on the couch in pain for a few hours each night so I can try to watch t.v. with my husband (we haven’t slept in the same bed for over 2 years, let alone have any sexual intimacy). I have to constantly twirl my hair or pick at myself because of the extreme anxiety. My heart races and my skin burns. I am not sweating as severely as I once was, but the body burning is so bad.
My brain thinks of something random and then all of a sudden it is gone and a few seconds later I cannot remember what the thought was. I have no contact with anyone…not even on the phone. This has been going on for 2 years. The phone gives me extreme anxiety. Trying to be around people has become non-existent too.
This has taken a toll on my relationships with my kids….non-existent now, my husband, the rest of my family and my friends.
I ask for God to let me die in my sleep. Is there anyone out there who has been affected as much as I have and gotten any better? How long do I have to exist in hell like this?
« Last Edit: November 04, 2020, 09:48:03 pm by [Buddie] »