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Disturbing nightmares TRIGGER WARNING
« on: November 18, 2020, 09:31:00 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m reducing valium was on 75mg in 2016 down to 23mg cut last night, so too early to notice anything from cut.
I also take micronised progesterone which is cross tolerant to the valium.
I also have terrible actual-factual real life problems I wont go into.
Anyway, I woke up around 6am, took my second dose of valium as I did not want to get up that early, went back to sleep and had a really disturbing nightmare that is so awful I cannot imagine how my consciousness conjured it up. I will be very vague as it may freak some people out.
It was in a carpark and involved a man who had obviously lost his self respect as he was very dirty and doing something in a public place, he obviously had some medical complaint and he was putting his carnal desires before his personal hygiene, his self respect and the respect for who he was with.
That’s all I will say.
I hope this isn’t going to be the shape of things to come.
I sometimes have dreams where I am lost in some strange place and have to find my way home, I like dreams they tell me a lot about my state of mind.
This tells me I feel lost.
I dream that I am still taking EE which I haven’t taken for a long time and don’t intend taking again.
This tells me I am depressed and long to have a happy feeling, yet ecstasy is false chemical happiness.
The disturbing dream represents me as the man, not the carnal but but the bit who has lost thier self respect and motivation and pride.
I would be scared to go to sleep if I thought I would have dreams more disturbing than that.

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