I'm scared « on: April 09, 2019, 07:29:24 am »
I was prescribed Ativan after having panic attacks. I had just graduated from an automotive school and the long drive everyday, working, going to church, living with a mean brother-in-law, and having a long distance girlfriend, was too much for me. I was given Ativan and quickly found that it had horrible withdrawal effects. My psychiatrist then gave me Klonopin and told me to take it, “whenever I felt any discomfort.” Before I knew it, I was completely dependant on it and tried to stop, but couldn’t. Now I’m on 3mg of Klonopin daily, and have taken it for 17 years. I’m very scared, and feel like my life has been taken from me, I don’t know if I can do this. My current psychiatrist really doesn’t know, or care about the idea of me getting off of it. I’ve told her about the Ashton method, but she laughed in my face. I don’t know what to do anymore.
TRIGGER WARNING.....ER Staff Abuse. TRIGGER WARNING « on: April 05, 2019, 11:07:46 pm »
I was reluctantly taken to the ER for extremely severe Benzo WD symptoms at the insistence of my family. The ER staff mocked me, laughing that I was screaming I couldn’t breathe. They also moved me to a room where they electrocuted me. NOT ECT. They electrocuted me something was taped to my left hand and a 4 pronged needle was in my skin. The waves of electricity went up my left arm, into my neck and into my brain. This happened repeatedly, I convulsed, and was unable to scream for help. I’m by no means making this up! I’m traumatized and scared that I’m forever damaged both physically and neurologically. It’s been hard enough going through Benzo WD. But, this makes any hope for me impossible.
Re: TRIGGER WARNING.....ER Staff Abuse. TRIGGER WARNING « Reply #5 on: April 06, 2019, 08:00:56 pm »
There is nothing in my records regarding what took place. I was in and out of consciousness. No one will openly admit to doing this. It’s criminal and what hopes I had of ever healing are gone.
Due to the severity of my situation I will be leaving BB.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2019, 09:53:55 pm by [Buddie] »
throwing in the towel « on: April 06, 2019, 04:59:05 pm »
i cant live like this. its not living .everyday is hell and fear for me. im going back on my original dose and hope to feel like i did a few months ago. maybe i really just need them anyway. i wish all you beautiful and strong people a successful taper and much peace. love & light to you all
Re: throwing in the towel « Reply #13 on: April 07, 2019, 11:39:08 pm »
i spent the night in the crisis unit. im finally home. and i just want to tell everyone who took time out of you journey to encourage me that i truly love each one of you. family doent understand and they think by making me feel shame or less than because this is so hard is somehow going to majically fix this. i went up a bit. back on .5 in morinng and .5 and night. once im ready i will begin again. so much love and thanks to all you amazing and compassionate warriors.. much love to you all. this group is filled with the kindest and strongest people of ever come across.. thank you so much <3 love & light to all. jill
Security and Search Bar « on: April 08, 2019, 05:49:57 am »
In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that my 4G cellular unlimited data has turned to 5g which I believe is no better then what was before. So pay more get less.
But not the REAL question. My supposed new 5g service to here, now, shows the search bar for benzobuddies is not secure with an open pad lock on the search bar. Never saw this before. Not nagging: Just paying attention. Stay safe All.
The Beginning of My Third Year Tapering « on: April 05, 2019, 12:24:23 am »
April 2017, I started tapering 2 mgs of Xanax, my stomach was killing me, had all the tests, all came back showing nothing, lucky enough my husband found an article discussing benzos and stomach pain and it all fell together. I immediately cut way too much, having no knowledge of what I was doing, but I was lucky in that the next day I started researching. I didn’t find the Ashton Manual or BB then , just enough information to go back up immediately, the word stroke scaring me to death. Started back down, still way too fast, withdrawals really bad. Anxiety off the roof, shaky, heart palpitations, muscle pain, and many others. Mostly in terrible shape. In October, after lowering about .05 xanax found Ashton Manual, got my pain Dr to help and managed to come down another.25 for a total of.75 Xanax. Horrible withdrawals, found BB, thank goodness, and decided to crossover to Valium, which also turned into a nightmare, my body just hated it, sedated, sick, had crossover too fast, having xanax withdrawals also. It was awful. I made many more mistakes during the next year, this is so hard, not the same rules for anyone. My main symptom through all of this has been bad muscle pain, still is. I am writing this for the people who are around a year into this and think they can’t go on, you can. I am down to 10.56 Valium from 40 mg . I am now doing a daily liquid micro taper, much easier than cut and hold for me, and just had a three week window, I had never had one. So if I can make all the mistakes I did and be as miserable as I have been, know you can keep on. Keep reading all over BB to find the way for you, ask questions, learn, get advice……my best advice, taper slowly, so many of us have run into so many walls wanting to speed this process up, all the heartache, pain and time we would have saved , if we had just slowed down. Ashton is a fast taper for most of us, it’s a good taper but cut that % down or stretch the time frame out. You will be glad you did. I was on Xanax for 3 years, never dreamed this could happen, am sure you didn’t either. I hope this helps someone, I am not a great writer like so many on here, but I wanted to share, you are not alone in your mistakes, not anything wrong you have done has not been done before and those people still healed. Good luck everyone, you CAN do this too, it won’t be easy and it is going to take a while. 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 […]….read the success stories, they help!
Checking in after 4.5 years « on: April 01, 2019, 08:04:08 am »
Just wanted to stop by to check in as it’s been a few years. I bounced in to BB in 2014 whe I was about to get off my clonopin. I was a mess. Well I got off them and became more of a mess. Then put on Prozac and gabapentin.
Here’s my timeline now:
4.5 years off benzos
2.2 years off Prozac
2 years off gabapentin
It’s been grueling. I live all alone with no support except online. I had to keep working to stay off the streets which has been extremely difficult. I declared bankruptcy after I spent 12,000.00 on an amino acid therapy and countless other things I thought would help.
My symptoms are still extreme and all mental, psychological, emotional, spiritual and cognitive. I’m scared and alone.
I thought I would reach out to you all. I have had no windows or any breaks though I’m better than I was 4 years ago. In total it’s been about 10 years of hell on and off meds. So I’ve lost hope. 2010 was wake up call when I rapid tapered off Xanax and nearly died while unconscious. Fortunately my Neigbors found me and I woke up in a hospital with extreme hallucinations for 3 weeks. Once released I had to go back to work but couldn’t so they put me on clonazepam. On and on until I got worse and worse with more meds (ad’s)
Then found BB
Long story long road
Like many others
Anyway here I am med free and could use some hope if your not to busy
I’m 62 and it doesn’t seem or feel like I’ll ever heal. Maybe something else is wrong but had 2 MRIs and tests which bankrupt me. So now I’m just trying to keep a roof over my head.
All I want is to be well to feel love and joy and know what well being feels like again.