Kook wonders if getting dog medication on his skin will make him crazier

Will accidently getting dog medication on skin cause damage?
« on: May 27, 2020, 06:48:16 am »


Was looking at the active ingredient of Frontline(isoprinil). It is used to treat fleas, lice, heartworm, mites, and who knows what else. Apparently it affects GABA receptors and that stuff has a half life of half a month.. Has anyone gotten that stuff on their skin? Were you alright?

Kooky Monday: Benzos cause canker sores under the tongue

Canker sores under my tongue
« on: May 24, 2020, 03:09:28 pm »


I’ve found that the only way I can ever get any tiny relief at all from my tiny dose of Clonazepam (and only sometimes) is to let it dissolve under my tongue. Whenever I do it for more than a few days in a row, I get cankers on the bottom of my tongue. Thought it was just coincidence at first, but it happens every time. Now I don’t even want to imagine what the stuff is doing to the inside of my stomach when I swallow it. No wonder so many of us are nauseous a lot, and no wonder I’ve had a sharp pain in my upper abdomen for months. I guess I’m just venting about how toxic this vile poison is.

Kooks terrified of balsamic vinegar

Lorazepam and balsamic vinegar
« on: May 16, 2020, 12:05:32 am »


Hi this might be a dumb question but I try to stay away from any sort of alcohol because of my lorazepam use and being scared to mix it with any alcohol. Does anyone know if it’s ok
To eat? I’m getting confusing information if balsamic vinegar has any alcohol in it or not.

Sexual problems plague Ashton acolyte five years later

5 years off; as of today
« on: May 17, 2020, 11:35:09 am »


I don’t come on here often anymore, but today marks the 5th year of me being off benzodiazepines, and also all prescription drugs. I took my last bit of liquid diazepam on 17th May 2015.

The mild lingering symptoms I had for about 16- 18 months after coming off a long and slow taper, continue to stay gone.

Since coming off benzodiazepines I have travelled to various countries, started and significantly progressed in a martial art, and have started and have made a lot of progress in learning a new language. I have also returned to work. All things I never thought would have been possible while in the worst of benzodiazepine withdrawal.

The only remaining symptoms I still have is the numb genitals, very low libido, pleasure less orgasms, and emotional numbness, but I strongly suspect this was caused by the SSRI antidepressant citalopram, and not the benzodiazepines, and that I suffer from Post SSRI sexual dysfunction. Each year these sexual symptoms seem to get a little less, but it has been a very frustrating and disappointing process of recovery from these symptoms, and I am very unhappy about how long it is taking.

But on a positive note I am happy to be free from the grip of the benzodiazepines, which until I found the correct way of slowly withdrawing from them (my psychiatrist tried taking me off a large dose in 6 weeks, and I suffered terribly with a lot of severe symptoms for 6 months without relief), caused me all sorts of problems. I no longer have to worry about withdrawal symptoms or being dependant on a substance, so the long process of withdrawal was definitely worth it for me. I feel much happier, healthier, and less anxious now I am free from them.

Keep going everyone, it can take a long time, but there is a better life waiting for you after benzodiazepines.

Take care

Cult member ends up in ER, vows to continue tapering no matter what

ER Visit Yesterday - High BP, Extreme Nausea, Dizziness, Balance And Tinnitus
« on: May 16, 2020, 04:13:05 pm »


I couldn’t take it anymore and went to the ER yesterday morning. Despite holding my dose for almost 2 weeks, I’m going to have to say I’m worse with the symptoms in the title. Oh…add to that head pressure and headache. It’s so bad, I can hardly walk or stand. Blood pressure was ridiculous for me…192/94. I had blood work done and it was normal. I have Hashimoto’s, hypothyroidism, and to me, though it falls within “normal” range, I think my TSH is too low at 1.61. At last check it was 2.8 several months ago.

I had a CT scan (with contrast) and other than some known blood vessel abnormalities, it too was “normal”. I was given Zofran in my IV which did absolutely nothing for nausea but as usual, gave me a banging headache.

I didn’t take my levothyroxine this morning. I’m going off of it. I think I read somewhere benzos can cause thyroid problems and maybe since my dose is so low right now, it’s going to improve? I don’t know but almost feel I have HYPERthyroidism now with the racing heart, high BP, sleeping issues and increased anxiety. It’s so easy to blame benzos for everything. I might be on the right path here or so far off the trail I’m an idiot. Also, I’ve lost 50 pounds and I’m older now. People my age can have a TSH of up to 10 and fall with “normal” range. It’s all so convoluted.

Despite feeling like shit, I’m moving forward with tapering. The days are getting worse and I feel it had nothing to do with my rate of taper so that’s why I’m still tapering. This poison had got to go!

The nurse practitioner started me on buspirone. The dose was 7.5mg twice a day. I’m so med sensitive, I took just 3.75mg a day for three days. It was terrible…more dizziness, anxiety, nausea, insomnia, headache…you name it. I’m not taking it anymore and not telling her as she’s going to say I never give things enough time. Well, I think I know my body and anything that makes me feel so terrible isn’t the drug for me. Her theory is my symptoms are anxiety related. That may be true, but taking a drug that makes it worse is unacceptable. Her statement “it doesn’t need to be tapered when time to stop” is false too. It should be tapered. Now it’s one less drug to taper. Yeah for me!!

I know there’s a group on here for tinnitus and “floaty, boaty” feelings but I’m putting it out here because there are so many variables. I’ve had bouts of tinnitus for years but this is 24/7 loud, hissing tinnitus. It’s hard to ignore.

So, if you have a comment, I’m happy to read it especially if you’ve experienced the same.



Satan tells addict to end it all

Evil intrusive thoughts
« on: May 08, 2020, 09:11:12 pm »


I don’t even want to post this question, but…has anyone experienced intrusive thoughts that are downright evil? Or felt like Satan and his minions were trying to attack and destroy one’s soul? This is what has been happening the past couple of weeks, and it terrifies me. I pray and ask God for help, but, as my swallowing and breathing problems worsen, so do the wicked “voices” that tell me I’m doomed and would be better off dead. Never in my life have I experienced anything like this.

Another former Benzo Buddies member warns public to stay away from fear-driven cult site, listen to your doctor

I will say this. I got caught in the benzo world. My doctor 4 years ago prescribed Ativan for me daily. I didnt know what it was cause well, I didn’t. After a while it quit working and he upped the dose and I soon found myself “needing” more. After my doctor retired I found a new doctor who was shocked by the amount of Ativan I was on a day. When I explained how I felt he said quit frankly “you are addicted.” I thought I could quit just taking them. I overestimated that you couldn’t. So with my doctor’s help, I got clean. It took 9 months.

I stumbled across Benzo Buddies after googling “benzo online support groups.” OMG. Well, at first they are loving and supportive when you are a newbie. Then all hell breaks loose. That site is fear-driven. I would spend multiple hours a day (at the time I was a stay at home mom and helping care for my aging parents). I would support and post my own journey. Everything that happened i would attribute to withdrawal and I’m sorry to say I was one of the Kooks. One day, about 7 months into my doctor guided “healing” I broke down because I was having a bad day and I said I needed a break from my child. The responses I got were horrendous. One person even commented that I should do like them and put my child up for adoption cause I couldn’t heal and be a mother. It’s impossible.

That day I realized that the amount of time and kookiness on that site was not actually helping my mental state. My fascination was my downfall. So, I sat down, blocked the website from every device I could, and started making banana bread. I made some sort of bread everyday for the remainder of my “coming clean.”

It’s been almost 3 years now since I came off Ativan. Had I not listened to my doctor and had not used judgement to walk away from those idiots… I’d still be on them in fear.

F*ck sake. It might have bern easier if I just started baking as a distraction. I know my previous doctor meant no harm putting me on them. Probably should have paid attention more. But what counts today is that I’m “clean.” The only thing during that time is that I developed tinnitus that doesnt go away. But I’m all good! Stay away from Benzo Buddies. Listen to your doctor. And in like any situation, if you aren’t satisfied or unsure, get a second opinion. Don’t be me and get trapped in that “support group.”

Jordan Peterson: “antidepressants can be absolutely miraculous”

Benzo Buddies forces members to choose cult over family

Anyone else can't stand their family?
« on: May 10, 2020, 01:32:11 am »


I have been posting for support as I have been having problems since my last cut…

Has anyone else experienced this: I find it hard to tolerate my family. I’m ashamed to say my kids in particular. One of them keeps checking on me as, unfortunately, it became impossible to hide what I am going through. But, my tolerance of my kids is so low. And I feel so weird. Detached is close. Makes me feel awful about myself and more anxious. I just wish I could run away. They wouldn’t have to witness this. Of course, COVID makes it worse.