No guts, no glory

Recovery a lie?
« on: February 25, 2017, 01:25:12 pm »

[Buddie]

I have been back in a horrible wave for the past 10 days that is just as bad as acute. Not sleeping at all again. Going 3 – 4 days in row with zero sleep. How is this even possible when I was doing so well for over a month! I must be permanently damaged and will never recover. If I had any guts, I would put a bullet in my head!

RAHKE’S RAMBLINGS REVISITED

Flick

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #210 on: Today at 01:03:10 PM »

He detests plenty of others here besides befuddled, Carl and me .  funny how much Zoe posts and sounds like Mike 59{although I know she is not a sock}  Mike posts about others here{not much about Zoe to speak of though, now that is amusing} he will have a riot with this thread with people talking about him though, being  a “legend in his own mind”   So , yes , his influence was so dark on this forum , that the echo and stench is still carrying through some, esp. since he copies and pastes a lot here on his own silly blog .  “C”[Mike that is} does all the childlike art work.

Not sure why I would be “one of the most hated ” here.  except maybe by screamin mimi and Zoe because I worked so hard and long to expose the truth of the trolling and troll here.  I would say the place is a heck of a lot more peaceful now, except for a lingering sock here and there stirring up some silly arguments over herbs and vitamins and so forth.

it is a truth and a fact that Zoe was one of the most vociferous and main supporters of the troll Mike 59 and his trolling activities here. if that makes me hated for pointing out the truth, then so be it.  You can’t be loved by all the people all the time.  Zoe has said that she would always back Mikey up, “no matter what”   sheesh, stop backing him up already now.

The real fact of the matter about all of this, is that a very hugely negative thing happened on this forum over a very extended period of time that hurt several people , many of whom are gone now.  that was the dark trolling and lying and deception of Mike 59.   No one believed me when I pointed it out for many a long months.   I was constantly attacked , not only by the troll , but also by his “friends”   , the sock puppets “C”, “James” and “Mark 49” and also by some of the women supporters and enablers like Zoe{the main one} and also Screaming Mimi and Louisa to a lesser degree.  {Louisa yes was a huge supporter of Mike 59}

Some people certainly do have selective or just poor memories.    By the way, I have given the original poster, Duneplanet ,  some support and the best advice I know on this thread. I did not hijack the thread at all.    The troll did.   he is still active after all is said and done.  Flick


on 1.25mg klon 2 years crossed to 25mg val been tapering 9 months down to 13 and suffering my butt off cutting .5mg every 12 to 14 days down to 11mg. had a good 2 months of less depression and more energy crashing again now  sedation and depression back plus fear and anxiety lots of fun now at 6mg using liquid daily titration and doing much better at 5 now and holding due to sx 1.5mg and cutting .5mg a month done in 3 or 4 more months .3mg now done in 5 weeks  finished taper of 2.5 years on Nov 23 08  am four months off and in the process of healing yet

Befuddled

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #211 on: Today at 01:06:36 PM »

Quote from: zoe123 on Today at 12:42:44 PM

Jim, i hope you Carl and Flick are happy. 

You have become the 3 most hated posters on this forum.

My 80year old father is my main concern right now.

You have made this beloved forum the laughing stock of the benzo community.

You 3 have proven that it is acceptable to use this forum as a place to destroy and hurt people.

You have exceeded the nastiness and down right dirtiness of your so called torturer.  It will not be forgotten soon, by anyone here.  You got your pound of flesh, enjoy it.

I see clearly now why mike59 has ear marked the three of you as people to detest.  You all must be so proud.

And how do you thing we liked you enabling the detestable stuff that Mike59 did here? Instead of apologizing for supporting him, you are trying to paint us as villains.  that is unfair, Zoe. If you avoid starting drama, I will be more than happy to not speak up. I came to this forum in June, and almost right away Mike 59 , you and a few others ganged up on me.  If you show me you are different, I will be glad to accept that .  I am friendly by nature, and this petty arguing increases my anxiety.But, I , unlike you am not over the wd yet.  I need this place, jsut like I have since June when I found myself attacked by the troll Mike59, and you and several troll enablers. JIM


Many years of prescribed benzos, used for insomnia.
Last benzo use, around  April 26, 2010.
Got off by dry cutting fairly fast from 1 mg of ativan.
Not a doctor or health care person. Just offering friendly advice based on personal experiences.  Good luck, all my forum friends.  JIM

zoe123

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #212 on: Today at 01:09:57 PM »

this is all paranoid dellusion on both your parts.

all of it.

you are both very sick

i feel sorry for you.


Klonopin 6 plus years.. Up to 4mgs.  Dry cut to 2mgs, water titrated to 1.5mgs, cross to 30mgs of valium, sick, cut to 17.5 mgs sick, updosed to 20mgs, sick.  Detox 9days.  Off Nov27th 2009.  Not sick anymore
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.  ERAshton Manual  http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha03.htmWater Titraiton Method  http://benzowithdrawal.com/forum/index.php?topic=11.0http://www.benzodocs.com/converter.php?act=convert“There is no coming to consciousness without pain.”
Carl Gustav Jung quote

Heather

 

 

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #213 on: Today at 01:37:33 PM »

Zoe does not deserve this.  Stop it.

Reinstated ’07 after cold-turkeyed by doctor from 2 mgs Klonopin. Previously other doctors wreaked havoc with me re the benzos.  Began tapering from 41 mgs valium Sept ’07.  Benzo free 9 April ’09.   Tramadol free 20 Sept ’09, drug free.   Strong withdrawal symptoms.

Not a doctor, not qualified to give medical advice.

Ashton Manual   http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/contents.htm
Titration   http://benzowithdrawal.com/forum/index.php?topic=11.0
http://benzowithdrawal.com/forum/index.php?action=tpmod;dl

Flick
Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #214 on: Today at 01:42:14 PM »

Wow, Zoe is either in outer space  or just in “denial”   I won’t say “liar” though   So “Mike 59”,   “C” , “James”  and other socks are all “paranoid delusions” of mine.   uh sure thing.  that is EXACTLY what Mike 59 has always said.  Yep paranoid delusions.  it never happened none of it.   just a figment of my imagination.  now who is really “sick” here? not me.      Flick      Your buddy Screaming Mimi used to say the same hooey too.   talk about mean spirited.   but the truth can’t just be swept under the carpet like Zoe would like to do

Sure she deserves it is she keeps lying through her teeth like this.   to say nothing ever happened here and that it is all a paranoid delusion of mine is beyond lying. it is the sick stuff. perhaps you could go over to mike’s wordpress blog, Heather, and see what kind of fun he is having with yu and your husband, eh? so it never happened? sure thing.  I am not the delusional liar here  so sorry


on 1.25mg klon 2 years crossed to 25mg val been tapering 9 months down to 13 and suffering my butt off cutting .5mg every 12 to 14 days down to 11mg. had a good 2 months of less depression and more energy crashing again now  sedation and depression back plus fear and anxiety lots of fun now at 6mg using liquid daily titration and doing much better at 5 now and holding due to sx 1.5mg and cutting .5mg a month done in 3 or 4 more months .3mg now done in 5 weeks  finished taper of 2.5 years on Nov 23 08  am four months off and in the process of healing yet

duneplanet

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #215 on: Today at 01:50:59 PM »

this topic needs to be closed its giving me a panic attack. ive gotten barely any helpful info and I now know that this site really just seems to be quite unhelpful.(with a few exceptions) thanks

“Why should you want any other
When you’re a world within a world?”Elliott Smithbeen addicted to klonopin when I was 17 for 2 years. healed completely and used benzos a few times a month with no problems after 2 years. got addicted again june 2010, 1 mg of ativan. tapered in july and hopped off .25 valium at the end of september 2010. still wi thdrawing but hoping this withdrawl wont take as long cause I was only on for 3 months.

ForeverTense

 

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #216 on: Today at 01:53:34 PM »

Quote from: zoe123 on Today at 01:09:57 PM

this is all paranoid dellusion on both your parts.

all of it.

you are both very sick

i feel sorry for you.

And how do you thing we liked you enabling the detestable stuff that Mike59 did here? Instead of apologizing for supporting him, you are trying to paint us as villains.  that is unfair, Zoe. If you avoid starting drama, I will be more than happy to not speak up. I came to this forum in June, and almost right away Mike 59 , you and a few others ganged up on me.  If you show me you are different, I will be glad to accept that .  I am friendly by nature, and this petty arguing increases my anxiety.But, I , unlike you am not over the wd yet.  I need this place, jsut like I have since June when I found myself attacked by the troll Mike59, and you and several troll enablers.  JIM

She likes it Jim. She loves the drama man..Flick has hit the nail right on the head. This is why she hates Flick so much. She knows what he says is the truth and and so do many others. I found this out many months ago when I stopped posting to her blog. Yeah, Mike is still here undercover and he will be here for some time to come but he has to stay in stealth mode to avoid detection. I will admit the forum is a lot more peaceful now with the Mike59 moniker under lock and key. Mike is even bragging @ wordpress about still being here and posting on blogs and other areas of the forum. He is the biggest internet troll I have ever encountered. You will likely never see another one like him again. He is sort of a legend I suppose.
–carl


ForeverTense

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #217 on: Today at 01:56:47 PM »

Quote from: Flick on Today at 01:42:14 PM

Wow, Zoe is either in outer space  or just in “denial”   I won’t say “liar” though   So “Mike 59”,   “C” , “James”  and other socks are all “paranoid delusions” of mine.   uh sure thing.  that is EXACTLY what Mike 59 has always said.  Yep paranoid delusions.  it never happened none of it.   just a figment of my imagination.  now who is really “sick” here? not me.      Flick      Your buddy Screaming Mimi used to say the same hooey too.   talk about mean spirited.   but the truth can’t just be swept under the carpet like Zoe would like to do

Sure she deserves it is she keeps lying through her teeth like this.   to say nothing ever happened here and that it is all a paranoid delusion of mine is beyond lying. it is the sick stuff. perhaps you could go over to mike’s wordpress blog, Heather, and see what kind of fun he is having with yu and your husband, eh? so it never happened? sure thing.  I am not the delusional liar here  so sorry

Yeah, he is really doing a # on Heather over there.
–carl


Befuddled
Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #218 on: Today at 02:07:25 PM »

Quote from: ForeverTense on Today at 01:53:34 PM
Quote from: zoe123 on Today at 01:09:57 PM

this is all paranoid dellusion on both your parts.

all of it.

you are both very sick

i feel sorry for you.

And how do you thing we liked you enabling the detestable stuff that Mike59 did here? Instead of apologizing for supporting him, you are trying to paint us as villains.  that is unfair, Zoe. If you avoid starting drama, I will be more than happy to not speak up. I came to this forum in June, and almost right away Mike 59 , you and a few others ganged up on me.  If you show me you are different, I will be glad to accept that .  I am friendly by nature, and this petty arguing increases my anxiety.But, I , unlike you am not over the wd yet.  I need this place, jsut like I have since June when I found myself attacked by the troll Mike59, and you and several troll enablers.  JIM

She likes it Jim. She loves the drama man..Flick has hit the nail right on the head. This is why she hates Flick so much. She knows what he says is the truth and and so do many others. I found this out many months ago when I stopped posting to her blog. Yeah, Mike is still here undercover and he will be here for some time to come but he has to stay in stealth mode to avoid detection. I will admit the forum is a lot more peaceful now with the Mike59 moniker under lock and key. Mike is even bragging @ wordpress about still being here and posting on blogs and other areas of the forum. He is the biggest internet troll I have ever encountered. You will likely never see another one like him again. He is sort of a legend I suppose.
–carl

Yes, It would really be very hard to imagine a bigger forum troll.  I suppose those who had a need to vent behind the troll felt safe as long as he ran the show here.  Now the game’s over for now, with that kind of lying and attacking.  I offered the olive branch to Zoe, but she does not want to accept that.  I think she really resents us standing up to the big troll, and his subsequent banishment from this forum.  The serpent was cast out of the garden.  Now he is angry, and writhing in impotent rage, taking cheap potshots at those he formerly attacked on the forum.  If Zoe and others want to rewrite history about Mike59 and how others here helped him attack, they can .  That is their revision of true history.  As far as the Mike59 troll activity it is still here.  he has several sock accounts and a few people who want to impress Mike59 left for whatever reason.  Mikey you are an impotent little troll, and this place is better for being free of the name brand Mike59.  It will take a long time to build up another persona of that dimension here.  Sock puppets lie CharR and M49 don’t hack it.


Many years of prescribed benzos, used for insomnia.
Last benzo use, around  April 26, 2010.
Got off by dry cutting fairly fast from 1 mg of ativan.
Not a doctor or health care person. Just offering friendly advice based on personal experiences.  Good luck, all my forum friends.  JIM

Julie51

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #219 on: Today at 02:08:43 PM »

Quote from: zoe123 on Today at 04:24:13 AM

no flick it was not he who called my parents,  i know who it was

you would be surprised, good try,

i do not know what you are talking about,  me being attacked, enabling trolls etc etc

you all need to grow up,  you guys are sick beyond words,

you are making everyone here miserable

Julie apologized to me via pm,   but she could not bring herself to do it publically,  i dont’ get it.  what is wrong with all of you.

Zoe, please don’t say that “I couldn’t bring myself to apologize publicly.” You Pmed me that I hurt your feelings and I pmed back, “I am sorry if I hurt your feelings.” End of story.  I was simply answering your PM. Do you want me to say publicly that I am sorry you feel hurt? Ok, I’ll say it. I am sorry you feel hurt.  But frankly, what did I do personally to hurt you? Please copy and paste my “hurtful” comments because I reread everything I wrote on this thread and can’t find one hurtful comment I made to you or to anyone else here. I feel I am very diplomatic in my posts. I did disagree (politely, I feel) with Mark, but I never said anything cruel or mean.
Anytime anyone tells me I hurt their feelings, I always apologize. I don’t like people to be hurt, especially if I did something to cause it. But please be fair, What did I really do or say that was hurtful? If anyone out there can find a mean post of mine in the public forum,  I would like to know about it.

I make it my policy to try to disagree with people on the issues without attacking someone personally. Please, please copy and paste my “hurtful” post to you. I am dying to read it because I simply can’t find it and doubt it exists.


prescribed 3 mg ativan in Aug. 2008/tapered off ativan by Oct. 6, 2008. Became dependent on ambien between Nov, 15, 2008 and Jan. 20, 2009. Dropped the ambien and switched to valium on Jan. 20, 2009. Tapered off valium over three months and became benzo free on April 22, 2009.

Befuddled

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #220 on: Today at 02:14:51 PM »

Quote from: ForeverTense on Today at 01:56:47 PM
Quote from: Flick on Today at 01:42:14 PM

Wow, Zoe is either in outer space  or just in “denial”   I won’t say “liar” though   So “Mike 59”,   “C” , “James”  and other socks are all “paranoid delusions” of mine.   uh sure thing.  that is EXACTLY what Mike 59 has always said.  Yep paranoid delusions.  it never happened none of it.   just a figment of my imagination.  now who is really “sick” here? not me.      Flick      Your buddy Screaming Mimi used to say the same hooey too.   talk about mean spirited.   but the truth can’t just be swept under the carpet like Zoe would like to do

Sure she deserves it is she keeps lying through her teeth like this.   to say nothing ever happened here and that it is all a paranoid delusion of mine is beyond lying. it is the sick stuff. perhaps you could go over to mike’s wordpress blog, Heather, and see what kind of fun he is having with yu and your husband, eh? so it never happened? sure thing.  I am not the delusional liar here  so sorry

Yeah, he is really doing a # on Heather over there.
–carl

Yes, and it is a crying shame , Carl.  Heather is a very nice intelliget lady who has helped many on this forum.   JIM


Many years of prescribed benzos, used for insomnia.
Last benzo use, around  April 26, 2010.
Got off by dry cutting fairly fast from 1 mg of ativan.
Not a doctor or health care person. Just offering friendly advice based on personal experiences.  Good luck, all my forum friends.  JIM

Flick

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #221 on: Today at 02:19:36 PM »

Quote from: duneplanet on Today at 01:50:59 PM
this topic needs to be closed its giving me a panic attack. ive gotten barely any helpful info and I now know that this site really just seems to be quite unhelpful.(with a few exceptions) thanks

Sorry, Duneplanet.  I think yu know what you have to do to help yourself the best you can anyhow. What you are going through and will still go through for some time to come is very hard and frustrating, since nothing seems to help much. but I bet if you can stay off the benzos and just maintain the best you can, you will get better   /

Here is a good example .  A wonderful British woman , who was a very long time member here and poster , was “mentally ill” and on many psyche drugs for many years , something like 20. I mean harsh psyche drugs besides just benzos. she got off benzos and all the other drugs too eventually and went through a long period of pain and fear and difficulty and eventually has healed up. she does not post anymore , but her last posts over the last months she was here were great.  she has been off ALL drugs for years now and is happy and doing well.  See what you have to look forward too if you hang in there and stay strong?  and you are still young yet. she was much much older when she started on this hard journey.

Don’t worry about this thread either.  anytime anyone starts posting anything about any natural approach to healing , the troll or one of his fake people attacks it and tries to destroy the thread.   it has been going on for a long time here now. try not to pay any attention{hard I know} /  just do what you think is best for you.  Flick


on 1.25mg klon 2 years crossed to 25mg val been tapering 9 months down to 13 and suffering my butt off cutting .5mg every 12 to 14 days down to 11mg. had a good 2 months of less depression and more energy crashing again now  sedation and depression back plus fear and anxiety lots of fun now at 6mg using liquid daily titration and doing much better at 5 now and holding due to sx 1.5mg and cutting .5mg a month done in 3 or 4 more months .3mg now done in 5 weeks  finished taper of 2.5 years on Nov 23 08  am four months off and in the process of healing yet

Befuddled

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #222 on: Today at 02:21:21 PM »

Quote from: Julie51 on Today at 02:08:43 PM
Quote from: zoe123 on Today at 04:24:13 AM

no flick it was not he who called my parents,  i know who it was

you would be surprised, good try,

i do not know what you are talking about,  me being attacked, enabling trolls etc etc

you all need to grow up,  you guys are sick beyond words,

you are making everyone here miserable

Julie apologized to me via pm,   but she could not bring herself to do it publically,  i dont’ get it.  what is wrong with all of you.

Zoe, please don’t say that “I couldn’t bring myself to apologize publicly.” You Pmed me that I hurt your feelings and I pmed back, “I am sorry if I hurt your feelings.” End of story.  I was simply answering your PM. Do you want me to say publicly that I am sorry you feel hurt? Ok, I’ll say it. I am sorry you feel hurt.  But frankly, what did I do personally to hurt you? Please copy and paste my “hurtful” comments because I reread everything I wrote on this thread and can’t find one hurtful comment I made to you or to anyone else here. I feel I am very diplomatic in my posts. I did disagree (politely, I feel) with Mark, but I never said anything cruel or mean.
Anytime anyone tells me I hurt their feelings, I always apologize. I don’t like people to be hurt, especially if I did something to cause it. But please be fair, What did I really do or say that was hurtful? If anyone out there can find a mean post of mine in the public forum,  I would like to know about it.
I make it my policy to try to disagree with people on the issues without attacking someone personally. Please, please copy and paste my “hurtful” post to you. I am dying to read it because I simply can’t find it and doubt it exists.

See what we’ve been up against? Zoe plants these mysterious hints of something going on , that seem to exist only in her mind.  I like Zoe, and wish her well, but she seems to be addicted to high drama.  Is she fooling herself or trying to fool others?   That remains an open question , as far as I’m concerned.      JIM


Many years of prescribed benzos, used for insomnia.
Last benzo use, around  April 26, 2010.
Got off by dry cutting fairly fast from 1 mg of ativan.
Not a doctor or health care person. Just offering friendly advice based on personal experiences.  Good luck, all my forum friends.  JIM

Mark49

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #223 on: Today at 02:22:07 PM »

Quote from: Heather on Today at 01:37:33 PM
Zoe does not deserve this.  Stop it.

I was on 14 mg valium equiv. in September 2009. I quit c/t ativan, valium, ambien, lunesta, and 5 other drugs for insomnia. Entered into living hell for 6 days! I then reinstated/crossed over to 5 mg liquid diazepam. That was too low, I did not know any better, and then I cut too fast down to 4.5 mg in 6 days-don’t do this!
I jumped from .14 mg V on August 2, 2010. I cut .12 every 7 days. I tapered for 40 weeks. FREEDOM!!!!“Physicians pour drugs of which they know little to cure diseases of which they know less, into humans of whom they know nothing.” Voltaire (1694-1778)

duneplanet

Re: best supplements for sleep?
« Reply #224 on: Today at 02:24:10 PM »

this is all truly pathetic I mean who gives a s**t a lot of us are losing our f**king minds and going into psychosis and everyones perpetuating this petty drama crap.the point of this topic was to get help for sleep cause im going crazy and you people really arent helping anymore

just saw your post flick thank you/ that gives me some hope. I wish i never got into this pharmacuitcal mess I woyuld have eventually learned to cope on my o wn. I could have easily survived on kava kava and kratom everyday, maybe some p henibut a few tiems a week but I had to trust doctors and get put on all this crap that i cant get off. Sometimes I feel like i should just go back on benzos cause it really doesnt matter. the typing is so lud that it hurts my ears. i need sleep


“Why should you want any other
When you’re a world within a world?”Elliott Smithbeen addicted to klonopin when I was 17 for 2 years. healed completely and used benzos a few times a month with no problems after 2 years. got addicted again june 2010, 1 mg of ativan. tapered in july and hopped off .25 valium at the end of september 2010. still wi thdrawing but hoping this withdrawl wont take as long cause I was only on for 3 months.