Addict fantasizes about murdering family after joining Benzo Buddies anti-doctor cult

Fear of Going Home
« on: May 08, 2019, 09:36:08 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m having a really hard time wanting to go home after work. I feel anger toward my family and have intrusive thoughts. I’ve had these things for so long that I’ve formed an aversion to my home. Don’t know what to do at this point. Never thought this would happen at nearly 14 months off. Does anybody have this? Does this sound like benzo withdrawal at all? I may have to quit my job and move at this point.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2019, 10:01:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Yeah, I think you begin to associate all this horror with your home, and family, and job, and everything around you, and you feel like getting away from it all. I used to hate being at home. I’d just get in the car and drive around the mountains for the whole day. Anything to get away. Of course, if you have a lot of anger, you might not want to go driving around. Might turn into road rage. But maybe some long walks might help.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2019, 12:32:14 am »

[Buddie]

You might have some other psychological issues (LOL – editor). This is not a criticism but your posts suggest it and your benzo doses were never very high. Maybe some cognitive behavioral therapy to help you deal with these negative thought patterns. Quitting your job and moving wont change a thing in my opinion. Best of luck.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2019, 02:05:35 am »

[Buddie]

Been seeing a therapist since July. I started seeing a second therapist in April too. Nothing has helped.

All I know is that when I quit benzos the second time I didn’t sleep for a full month and it felt like I was going into states of psychosis. I had suicidal ideation up to about a year off. That has eased off and it’s morphed into this fear of going home and fear and anger around other people, particularly my family.