Cult women give up everything to remain in Benzo Buddies

Lost my looks, my body....my life!
« on: November 22, 2020, 08:53:26 pm »

[Buddie]

Of all the horrible symptoms we suffer with each day, physical, mental, emotional….what about all this has done to our outward appearances? I used to take care in how I presented myself to the world. Showered daily, sometimes twice, always did my hair and makeup (not to an extreme, just so I could feel confident), dressed nicely, walked with my head up and a smile for everyone I met. Confident in my ability to go up to strangers and start a conversation and feel respected and liked.

Now, two years later I can’t even shower, let alone take care of my hair, looks, body. This has destroyed everything about my outward appearance. I have gone gray, lost so much hair, the texture of my hair is slimy and sticky feeling (even after washing), have gained so much weight from being immobile, my face is all broken out and greasy and the rest of the skin on my body is dry, peeling and looks so old. My eyes look like someone who’s extremely deranged. They have lost their color, I have bags and they are ALWAYS swollen. My eyes were so bright and blue now they are a dull gray without any spark.

I can’t even look anyone in the eye anymore (and I’m talking about my husband and children, since they are the only ones I see because I am housebound). How can I ever go back out into the world like this even if my brain and physical torture gets better? I don’t have hair that I can just pull back in a ponytail because of the extreme loss and texture. I don’t have skin that looks even one bit okay without foundation on. I don’t have any clothes that fit me anymore because of the extreme weight gain. And I have a closet full of beautiful clothing.

The people who have seen me since this terrible injury happened look at me as if I am a disgrace and the kindness and compliments I used to get, even from strangers, has turned into people treating me like I am a castaway.

How, how can I face the world again like this even if I ever heal? I know there has to be others out here who have lost their appearances too. How do we get our self-confidence back when our appearances have been destroyed?

Re: Lost my looks, my body....my life!
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2020, 10:00:33 pm »

[Buddie]

I have no idea but I feel the same way. I used to be a runner and a gym fanatic, had amazing hair (I’m a hairdresser) and looked pretty good for my age. Now …. wow. I hope I don’t run into people I used to know because I look like I’ve been in a concentration camp. It’s changed the way I look I doubt I’ll ever go back to how I used to look again. But I’ll take that if it means “feeling” normal again. Because when we feel good, we look good. Well as much as someone who has gone thru a massive life changing trauma can look good! I’m sure burns victims wish for this all the time too. When I get down about it I think of them. And then I stop and I’m just greatful for what I do have. X we have a chance at healing and we just have to keep moving towards that goal x

Question: Why are all Benzo Buddies members afraid of MSG? Answer: Cult brainwashing.

MSG sensitivity: What symptoms ? How do you eat to avoid it ?
« on: October 20, 2020, 12:14:48 pm »

[Buddie]

Like many in WD, MSG really messes with me. I learned this early on when I had Chinese food a few times during withdrawal, and INSTANTLY got a migraine aura, and dizziness/vertigo. I think back to when I was in acute withdrawal. It really fired up my symptoms. Now, it still affects me with headaches, dizziness and insomnia.

I’ve never really tried cutting it out 100%. I know there’s a lot of it hidden it processed foods, and it’s in a lot of food. I’d like to put 100% effort into cutting it out of my diet, but the list is long. It’s almost easier to say: “What CAN I eat to avoid MSG?”

What’s symptoms do you get from consuming MSG?
How do you eat daily to avoid it?

Re: MSG sensitivity: What symptoms ? How do you eat to avoid it ?
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2020, 12:22:25 pm »

[Buddie]

Back before my setback/cold-turkey when my only symptoms were GERD and 3AM cortisol surge, MSG would flare up my GERD. Now I avoid MSG like plague and dare not try. Honestly it’s not that hard to avoid MSG. There are even processed foods out there without it. They usually advertise it right on the box.

Head and Shoulders shampoo panics kook

Shampoos
« on: September 20, 2020, 11:36:27 pm »

[Buddie]

So awhile back I was worried about hair dye setting me back. Tried it and didn’t feel like it did any harm. Now I have another worry only because I’ve been feeling bad since I’ve started using Head and Shoulders shampoo more often. Is it just me or could this have set me back. I’ve got horrible head symptoms come on with a vengeance and I can’t help but think the shampoo is the cause. Anybody here have set backs with a certain shampoo? Thanks in advance.

Six-foot-six kook claims to look eight months pregnant from a benzo withdrawal symptom that doesn’t exist

Benzo Belly Relief?
« on: August 31, 2020, 08:44:27 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi People.

Apologies if this question has been raised before, but one of my worst symptoms 20 months since finishing my taper is benzo bellly.
I’m a tall man at 6 feet 6 inches and always used to be a string bean.
At the moment I look like like a string bean who’s 8.5 months pregnant with twins!
I have read that the only thing that really helps benzo belly is time, but has anyone found anything that really helps to relieve the symptoms?
My poor stomach has never been so ill and is completely solid as if I have a bowling ball in my tummy.
I also have a lot of trouble breathing due to the size of my stomach to the point where I’m gasping for air and start to panic a bit.
Any updated thoughts on how to combat this dreadful benzo belly symptom would be very very welcome.

Thank you! X

Withdrawal worse than COVID-19?

Withdrawal in the time of Corona
« on: March 17, 2020, 12:47:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi,

So I had my last dose of valium 7 weeks ago. Cold turkey-ed. Without realising any of the effects or hazards and not knowing the hell I was about to enter into. I realise now I was in tolerance withdrawal for about a month before I jumped off the train wreck that valium was and is.

I had 8 weeks off work. I run my own business. Yesterday I went back to work. Now I can comprehend how stressful my business is. Coupled with many clients being demanding – there is stress at every corner. Stress is bad bad bad for withdrawal I have learnt – the hard way. I must learn mindful mediation, have to learn to deal with stress differently. Today I almost had a volcanic melt down when I was trying to fill out an insurance form. I don’t feel like myself. I miss the person I used to be before I slammed my body into the concrete wall that is Valium. I know there is no magic formula to make withdrawal go any faster – I learnt that the hard way. No supplements. Last week I had days mostly filled with windows – some waves. This week so far I have had days mostly filled with waves – with a few creaks of windows. I crave the windows. I loathe the waves. My appetite came back – I could only eat about 10 things but it was amazing – this week I have to force myself to eat. I was sleeping like a log last week – this week I’m fending off the madness of insomnia.

And then there is Corona craziness, Benzo withdrawal in the time of Corona virus hysteria is not the way forward at all. Supermarket shelves are empty, many people are in a panic. Try benzo withdrawal I want to mutter at them – then you’ll know what panic actually feels like to the core of your very being. I couldn’t have picked a worse time to withdraw from ghastly valium. I will never, ever touch another benzo again. I plead/bargain/beg with god for this withdrawal to be over. I promise to the universe or god or who ever is listening to my silent prayers that I will do anything, anything just to feel like myself again – for longer than a window – for good.

Any soothing words would be greatly appreciated. I”m having one of those moments where I”m losing hope that I will ever feel like I permanently reside in my own body again. At the moment – for most of today – I feel like I reside on the outside – looking in.

Thank you so much.