Doctor tells cult member they’ve likely developed psychosis from being brainwashed

“Psychotic”
« on: February 03, 2021, 06:41:06 pm »

[Buddie]

I was told today that I might be psychotic (by a mental health professional) because of “[my] delusional beliefs about benzodiazepines causing problems now after such a long time.”

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I may do both.

Kooks come up with new disease – benzo flu – and wonder if it’s Covid

Benzo Flu or Covid??
« on: January 10, 2021, 08:00:29 am »

[Buddie]

Hi Everyone,

I’m nearly a year off – yay!!!! I’ve had 3 COVID tests whilst being in withdrawal & all have been negative – I’ve put it down to Benzo flu, I’ve gotten slogged this week with super stressful stuff (identity theft & subsequently had to prove the $5,000 telephone bill
Wasn’t mine, car broke down etc) & Saturday morning I woke up with a super sore throat & flu like symptoms.

Withdrawal in the time of COVID ain’t no fun at all. How do you deferentiate between Benzo flu or if it’s a virus or COVID? I’ve been going for COVID tests to rule out COVID but does anyone have any ideas how to determine if it’s Benzo flu without going for a test? I have a sore throat that comes & goes so I’m leaning towards it’s Benzo Flu.

Almost one year since I jumped. I’m praying/pleading/begging that this will
All he over soon and I can have my mind, body & soul back. Lord only knows how I’ve come this far but some how I have. Thanks for your support & feedback.

Re: Benzo Flu or Covid??
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2021, 09:43:36 am »

[Buddie]

I thought I had a bad luck, but you’re probably the unluckiest member of BB… I don’t think there’s a way to know if it’s benzo flu or real deal unless you test for viruses.

Re: Benzo Flu or Covid??
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2021, 04:43:40 pm »

[Buddie]

Benzo flu tricked me into getting tested in Nov and the test was negative.

However, I did get covid in Dec for real – you will know the difference if you get the full symptoms.

I survived and am back to my “benzo functional” again:) I am thankful.

Cumin sends cult member into outer space five minutes after eating a salad

Cumin issues?
« on: January 04, 2021, 07:35:58 pm »

[Buddie]

Anyone have any reverse or strange reaction to the spice cumin?  and i just felt off! I believe I have read of other BBs suffering side affects from certain spices? Thanks for any feedback!

Re: Cumin issues?
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2021, 07:41:26 pm »

[Buddie]

I have that and more whenever I eat anything or put anything on body, wash hands etc.

Mayo Clinic recommends psych ward after wife loses everything to Ashton

Nursing Home until I become healed?
« on: December 09, 2020, 09:28:18 pm »

[Buddie]

After 2 years of being bedridden, unable to care for myself, I cannot live like this anymore. My husband has been doing his best to care for me, but I have not seen any signs of improvement. My mental function is gone. I live in extreme pain, with over 100 extreme symptoms daily. I am only 56 years old but living a life of a senior shut-in.

I am wondering if any of you know people who have ended up in a nursing home because of benzo injury? What happens when our only caregiver cannot take it anymore and wants to get on with their life? Then what? I am unable to go anywhere (have even cancelled all my dr. appts. in the last years), cannot shower except for maybe once every 5 days now, live in my unkempt bedroom all alone while my husband is out living his life. But, he wants to be able to travel, do outdoor activities, ALL the things we once enjoyed together, which kept us extremely busy. He has been leaving town here and there to do some activities but has to be back by dark because I cannot be alone in the dark anymore. My mind has been damaged and I no longer have any hope. I have not had any windows and I’m only getting worse.

The guilt is unbearable to me, even though I know I didn’t cause this injury myself. What am I supposed to do?

P.S. It took me a very long time to write this and everything I have to try to make sense of this post. I cannot express myself, even in writing anymore, let alone with words.

Re: Nursing Home until I become healed?
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2020, 10:13:04 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 22, 2020, 10:03:02 pm
longing

First let me tell you that your post makes sense. As awful as you feel, you are very much coherent. Your sentences string together and your word usage is accurate. As challenging as it was to write, your cognitive function seems fine here.

Your husband is tired. It’s normal. Sometimes caregivers feel they aren’t allowed to struggle, because the person they care for is struggling more. But that isn’t true. It is really lonely to be a caregiver. It is hard work. It is frustrating. It’s normal that he wants his partner to share life with him. This doesn’t make him bad or unloving. I don’t say this to guilt you. More to shine a light on the big picture. Who cares for the caregiver?

I doubt a nursing home could do much for you. First, you would have to qualify by virtue of age. You are too young. Many seniors who are very disabled are waiting to get in to nursing homes. Nursing homes are very expensive, too. Also, it would be so disempowering.
It is like saying that nothing can be done and healing is futile. Maybe this age and money thing is only true in Canada.

You say you have over 100 symptoms every day. Bedridden. Cannot even bathe yourself. There is no improvement at all. So, this is a severe and rare case of protracted withdrawal. What have you done to improve your situation? Again, not to doubt you, because you have likely done many things. Recovery is an active process. It doesn’t happen just by waiting for it. Others cannot give it to us, no matter how well they care for us. Maybe if you list what you have done, then we can perhaps add ideas?

I wish you could find someone to talk to. Possibly locate an online therapist?

I have had many tests, even been to Mayo Clinic two times. They just want to put me into the psych ward because they don’t believe in benzo withdrawal. They tell me it’s just a severe case of depression. Well, of course, I’m depressed. Who wouldn’t in my situation? But I was never depressed or had any kind of mental illness until I became tolerant to the clonazepam. I was on it for over 20 years, daily. My life is gone. I have tried many supplements over the time I’ve been suffering, but none have helped. I take a multi vitamin daily and an adrenal support supplement. I have to take .25 mg. Trazadone to help with sleep, which is pretty much non-existent still. This is the reason I was put on clonazepam in the first place. I have chronic daily migraine and for years, I have not slept. My neurologist is the one who put me on benzos and now he has flat out told me that he doesn’t know anything about benzo injury and withdrawal and therefore, cannot help me. He actually told me that if I find someone to help to let him know. I wish his life would have been ruined, like he did to me. Horrible, horrible doctor!

One of my family members thinks that if I would just start smoking weed that all this will go away. I tried it…one puff…one time about a week ago. I became even more depersonalized and it was awful! Not for me. I hear it helps others though.

If I have to continue to exist in hell like this, I won’t. There are many who have not been damaged nearly as much as I have. Why does God not listen to me? I have been a christian all my life and have always prayed, but it’s like He’s not even real to me anymore.

Cult women give up everything to remain in Benzo Buddies

Lost my looks, my body....my life!
« on: November 22, 2020, 08:53:26 pm »

[Buddie]

Of all the horrible symptoms we suffer with each day, physical, mental, emotional….what about all this has done to our outward appearances? I used to take care in how I presented myself to the world. Showered daily, sometimes twice, always did my hair and makeup (not to an extreme, just so I could feel confident), dressed nicely, walked with my head up and a smile for everyone I met. Confident in my ability to go up to strangers and start a conversation and feel respected and liked.

Now, two years later I can’t even shower, let alone take care of my hair, looks, body. This has destroyed everything about my outward appearance. I have gone gray, lost so much hair, the texture of my hair is slimy and sticky feeling (even after washing), have gained so much weight from being immobile, my face is all broken out and greasy and the rest of the skin on my body is dry, peeling and looks so old. My eyes look like someone who’s extremely deranged. They have lost their color, I have bags and they are ALWAYS swollen. My eyes were so bright and blue now they are a dull gray without any spark.

I can’t even look anyone in the eye anymore (and I’m talking about my husband and children, since they are the only ones I see because I am housebound). How can I ever go back out into the world like this even if my brain and physical torture gets better? I don’t have hair that I can just pull back in a ponytail because of the extreme loss and texture. I don’t have skin that looks even one bit okay without foundation on. I don’t have any clothes that fit me anymore because of the extreme weight gain. And I have a closet full of beautiful clothing.

The people who have seen me since this terrible injury happened look at me as if I am a disgrace and the kindness and compliments I used to get, even from strangers, has turned into people treating me like I am a castaway.

How, how can I face the world again like this even if I ever heal? I know there has to be others out here who have lost their appearances too. How do we get our self-confidence back when our appearances have been destroyed?

Re: Lost my looks, my body....my life!
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2020, 10:00:33 pm »

[Buddie]

I have no idea but I feel the same way. I used to be a runner and a gym fanatic, had amazing hair (I’m a hairdresser) and looked pretty good for my age. Now …. wow. I hope I don’t run into people I used to know because I look like I’ve been in a concentration camp. It’s changed the way I look I doubt I’ll ever go back to how I used to look again. But I’ll take that if it means “feeling” normal again. Because when we feel good, we look good. Well as much as someone who has gone thru a massive life changing trauma can look good! I’m sure burns victims wish for this all the time too. When I get down about it I think of them. And then I stop and I’m just greatful for what I do have. X we have a chance at healing and we just have to keep moving towards that goal x

Question: Why are all Benzo Buddies members afraid of MSG? Answer: Cult brainwashing.

MSG sensitivity: What symptoms ? How do you eat to avoid it ?
« on: October 20, 2020, 12:14:48 pm »

[Buddie]

Like many in WD, MSG really messes with me. I learned this early on when I had Chinese food a few times during withdrawal, and INSTANTLY got a migraine aura, and dizziness/vertigo. I think back to when I was in acute withdrawal. It really fired up my symptoms. Now, it still affects me with headaches, dizziness and insomnia.

I’ve never really tried cutting it out 100%. I know there’s a lot of it hidden it processed foods, and it’s in a lot of food. I’d like to put 100% effort into cutting it out of my diet, but the list is long. It’s almost easier to say: “What CAN I eat to avoid MSG?”

What’s symptoms do you get from consuming MSG?
How do you eat daily to avoid it?

Re: MSG sensitivity: What symptoms ? How do you eat to avoid it ?
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2020, 12:22:25 pm »

[Buddie]

Back before my setback/cold-turkey when my only symptoms were GERD and 3AM cortisol surge, MSG would flare up my GERD. Now I avoid MSG like plague and dare not try. Honestly it’s not that hard to avoid MSG. There are even processed foods out there without it. They usually advertise it right on the box.

Head and Shoulders shampoo panics kook

Shampoos
« on: September 20, 2020, 11:36:27 pm »

[Buddie]

So awhile back I was worried about hair dye setting me back. Tried it and didn’t feel like it did any harm. Now I have another worry only because I’ve been feeling bad since I’ve started using Head and Shoulders shampoo more often. Is it just me or could this have set me back. I’ve got horrible head symptoms come on with a vengeance and I can’t help but think the shampoo is the cause. Anybody here have set backs with a certain shampoo? Thanks in advance.

Six-foot-six kook claims to look eight months pregnant from a benzo withdrawal symptom that doesn’t exist

Benzo Belly Relief?
« on: August 31, 2020, 08:44:27 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi People.

Apologies if this question has been raised before, but one of my worst symptoms 20 months since finishing my taper is benzo bellly.
I’m a tall man at 6 feet 6 inches and always used to be a string bean.
At the moment I look like like a string bean who’s 8.5 months pregnant with twins!
I have read that the only thing that really helps benzo belly is time, but has anyone found anything that really helps to relieve the symptoms?
My poor stomach has never been so ill and is completely solid as if I have a bowling ball in my tummy.
I also have a lot of trouble breathing due to the size of my stomach to the point where I’m gasping for air and start to panic a bit.
Any updated thoughts on how to combat this dreadful benzo belly symptom would be very very welcome.

Thank you! X