Doctor bashers bully suicidal patient

I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
 « on: November 17, 2017, 05:19:42 am »

[Buddie]

I’m trying so hard not to go back on Klonopin but I can’t take much more of this. My anxiety and akathisia is so bad I feel like I’m stuck in a never ending panic attack. How can I be feeling this bad 15 months off benzos? I feel worse now than I did when I started my taper.

edit: self-harm reference removed.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2017, 05:39:29 am by [Buddie] »

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2017, 05:31:28 am »

[Buddie]

Hi […],
Your 15 months off this crap, you hang in there!!!!
It does get better. I’m just about 17 months off and life is good. You can do this. Reinstatement could make things worse then what’s going on now.
Think it threw real good before you do that.
Imo if you’ve went threw 15 months your very close to feeling better.
Don’t give up !!
We all heal !! Yeah I know waiting is hard with symptoms. But distract and stay positive. It’s coming 😁😁 […]

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2017, 06:09:14 am »

[Buddie]

Keep battling!!!!

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2017, 06:18:00 am »

[Buddie]

I’m sorry that you’re feeling so bad. How did you do your withdrawal? I’m just curious. Your signature just says that you jumped.

Anyway, I agree with […] that you should try to not reinstate. There was a reason that you decided to stop taking klonopin. It wasn’t working for you in some respect. Going back on it will probably just bring that problem up again.

It doesn’t help to compare time lines. People heal at different rates. I don’t think anybody understands why it’s that way or can predict who will heal faster/slower. A few days ago, I read a very positive post from a buddie who had been feeling very poorly for longer than you have, and in the past two months, it’s gotten significantly better for her.

How are you doing otherwise? Are you eating well? What kinds of things are you still able to do? Sucks that you’re suffering from akathisia. Does that prevent you from getting out or are you just uncomfortable in certain situations? I think people who are able to get out and at least take a long walk are better able to cope with their anxiety. Long walks are great distractions. I rode a bike a lot during my withdrawal. Not very fast, but sometimes for hours.

I need to mention that I removed part of a sentence from your original post on this thread. It referred to thoughts of self-harm and those kinds of comments can be really upsetting to some of our members. Many are just as anxious as you, and they don’t need any extra ‘excitement’. I hope you understand.

I know this ordeal is difficult, but for those who see it through, it works out. Try to relax as best you can. Distraction and mindfulness are your allies. Hang in there, and try not to despair.

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2017, 09:17:43 am »

[Buddie]

I know I shouldn’t reinstate Klonopin but if I can’t cope, I don’t really have a choice. Klonopin completely ruined my life. I’m actually seeing a psychologist in January for disability benefits because there’s no way I can work with the tremendous amount of anxiety and depression I experience on a daily basis. I feel like a totally different person. I don’t enjoy any of the activities that I used to enjoy. I used to build computers and program applications for fun. I’ve totally lost interest in that. It’s like I’m stuck in a dysphoric state of mind and nothing satisfies me anymore. Distracting myself is nearly impossible because I can’t get my problems and thoughts of harming myself out of my head. Also, I’ve turned into a recluse because it’s become extremely hard for me to talk to people. I can’t hold a conversation. I speak in very short and sometimes incomplete sentences. I’m hoping the psychologist will notice all of this so I get disability benefits.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2017, 09:22:45 am by [Buddie] »

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2017, 09:36:45 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 17, 2017, 05:19:42 am
I’m trying so hard not to go back on Klonopin but I can’t take much more of this. My anxiety and akathisia is so bad I feel like I’m stuck in a never ending panic attack. How can I be feeling this bad 15 months off benzos? I feel worse now than I did when I started my taper.

edit: self-harm reference removed.

Hi […]  I know its a little further out than you are now but I’m sure you’d be more than welcomed to join this group their nice people its the 18 to 30 month post jump group http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=141544.0;topicseen. I hope its of help to you 

Love […] xxx 

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2017, 12:46:57 pm »

[Buddie]

Are you taking any other poison right now that doctor prescribed you?

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2017, 03:55:42 pm »

[Buddie]

Nope, I’m not taking any prescription medication.

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2017, 07:55:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Hang in there. Kpin turned it’s back on me and I would never take that rat poison again. If I took it again, I feel it would makes things even worse.

Leaked documents say Facebook will let users livestream self-harm

Policy ignores suicide threats

Facebook will allow users to livestream attempts to self-harm because it “doesn’t want to censor or punish people in distress who are attempting suicide”, according to leaked documents.

The documents also tell moderators to ignore suicide threats when the “intention is only expressed through hashtags or emoticons” or when the proposed method is unlikely to succeed.

Any threat to kill themselves more than five days in the future can also be ignored, the files say.

https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/may/21/facebook-users-livestream-self-harm-leaked-documents

Contagion risk

Suicide contagion is the exposure to suicide or suicidal behaviors within one’s family, one’s peer group, or through media reports of suicide and can result in an increase in suicide and suicidal behaviors.

https://www.hhs.gov/answers/mental-health-and-substance-abuse/what-does-suicide-contagion-mean/index.html?language=es

Cult members give up children to embark on endless benzo tapers

How do you parent in withdrawal?
« on: May 21, 2017, 12:02:25 am »

[Buddie]

I have not been able to do anything for my son since this happened to me. I worry that if I don’t get better, he will be taken from me. How do people even parent in this kind of mental decline?

Re: How do you parent in withdrawal?
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2017, 05:28:56 am »

[Buddie]

You don’t know how long this will go on.
It might be best to make an agreement with someone you trust
who can be ready in case things at home become unsustainable
and too difficult for your son.

I assume you are doing all the right things, but things might not work out in time.

Withdrawal causes plantar fasciitis?

Plantar fasciitis
« on: June 30, 2016, 07:30:38 am »

[Buddie]

Ive always felt like it was kind of uncomfortable on my heel bones to walk on hard floors, but not so much that it was a problem. I ways felt like I had boney feet,and it was never like a sharp pain or radiating to the arch of my foot like they describe for plantar fasciitis. But now because of my muscle issues and nausea from withdrawal I spent over 2 months basically bedridden. Now when I walk on hard floors it hurts my heel bones more. If I press on that area it doesnt hurt at all, I’m wondering if I just am not used to walking on hard floors so they are more tender now? My heels have defintely got less callus on them now. It seems like with plantar fasciitis youd feel some pain in more than just the point where your heel bone hits the floor. Does anyone else have discomfort like this?

Re: Plantar fasciitis
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2016, 03:17:28 pm »

[Buddie]

I went through plantar fascists in both feet. My foot doctor made a little support for me that helped (I think they’re available at pharmacies now), but it still took nearly a year for it to resolve entirely for the first foot. I didn’t want to go through that with the 2nd foot, and got a cortisone shot (along with wearing the support).

My foot doctor told me to never walk barefoot – to always give the arch some kind of support. He also advised soaking my foot in ice water a few times a day for 7-8 minutes (but not too long).

Re: Plantar fasciitis
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2016, 03:51:44 pm »

[Buddie]

Agree with […]–your feet will heal, it just takes time. Get some really good supportive inner-soles. I like the kind that you heat and form to your feet, I got mine at REI. You will know when you find the right ones as your feet will feel better almost immediately. Wear these supports in all your shoes until your feet are healed, including around the house, the minute you get out of bed. I wear mine in my work boots all the time. Needless to say, heels are out of the question now.

Re: Plantar fasciitis
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2016, 06:56:29 pm »

[Buddie]

Thanks guys. I got some better shoes yesterday so ill stop going barefoot in the house. When you have plantar fasciitis isnt it more like a shooting pain when you step down? I dont have that and my feet dont feel sore at all, it just feels uncomfortable and bony where my heel bone hits the floor. It was always kind of uncomfortable that way for me just not as much so im wondering if maybe after beins basically bedridden my feet are just not used to it anymore.

Re: Plantar fasciitis
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2016, 01:29:30 am »

[Buddie]

Yes, plantar fasciitis is extremely painful, especially the first few steps. So it could very well be that you don’t have it. But providing more support for your feet is always the best thing to do if you are having foot issues, and I’m sure they will improve over time.

Re: Plantar fasciitis
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2016, 02:35:33 am »

[Buddie]

Yeah, the first few steps are the most painful, then the pain eased for me. But it can slowly creep back during the course of the day especially if you’re on your feet a lot.

EMERGENCY ROOM NIGHTMARE

Anyone else been told this?
« on: January 17, 2016, 09:13:40 pm »

[Buddie]

Night before last i went to the ER and the doctor there told me that after 2 weeks off of xanax, the symptoms I’m having are no longer physical. He thinks I’m no longer in the acute phase of withdrawal and that it’s all anxiety causing the symptoms. This doesn’t make a lot of sense to me for a few reasons.
1. He doesn’t have any idea how bad my anxiety is or what it’s been like during my taper.
2. I’ve had these same symptoms at the worst parts of the taper.
3. I was feeling bad, but bearable, and then suddenly I woke up feeling awful a couple days ago, so why would it just pop up out of nowhere?
4. I don’t doubt anxiety contributes to symptoms, but to cause all of this by itself seems like too much. I’ve had anxiety make me nauseous, but not all of this.
5. That’s the first time I’ve heard anyone say that after two weeks, the symptoms would be gone.
6. Everyone I’ve talked to here on the site has said it may take months for things to disappear.

This guy bragged first thing that he and his team were experts on withdrawal of all kinds. I listed off my symptoms to him and he said “all the things your having are not typical withdrawal symptoms. We don’t associate these with withdrawal at all”

okay, so nausea isnt?
tremors arent?
headaches?
dizziness?
on and on
none of those are withdrawal symptoms? I guess millions of people are full of shit then
how could a doctor think this?
thats the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard

i laid on a bed for six hours crying and shaking, trying not to throw up, waiting to be seen at all, and then this idiot tells me its all in my head and that everything ive gone through for 7 months is nothing.

Re: Anyone else been told this?
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2016, 09:21:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Don’t believe it

It’s real!

Re: Anyone else been told this?
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2016, 09:30:35 pm »

[Buddie]

What absolute nonsense! This guy knows nothing about benzos. :crazy: Two weeks off is, unfortunately, just the beginning for many of us.

Re: Anyone else been told this?
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2016, 09:35:11 pm »

[Buddie]

I was told the same thing the one time I went to the ER shortly after my own Xanax taper was finished. I had extremely high blood pressure and my doctor had told me to go if it got that high.

I was treated very patronizingly by the hospital staff, diagnosed with panic attack (it was not) and offered Klonopin. I sat in a chair, a nurse came in and patted me on the shoulder and took my BP …for $1500.

In a way it is anxiety, but it’s not the type of anxiety he’s referring to. Your central nervous system is pretty fragile and any little thing is likely to set you off.

Benzodiazepine withdrawal is an animal of a different nature and from what I’ve heard and seen, few ER docs or other medical personnel are ‘experts’.

Most people here consider the first month off to be acute. That was about how long it took my worst symptoms to settle down… probably four to six weeks and then things got easier.

Re: Anyone else been told this?
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2016, 09:38:58 pm »

[Buddie]

Laura I’m sorry you are suffering bad enough to go to the ER for help. Yours is a sad but familiar story about clueless health care professionals who don’t know anything about benzo withdrawal. The level of ignorance is truly shocking. How can this be after 50 years? You can understand how your friends and family who don’t have a medical background might be clueless, but doctors? It makes for a lonely and solitary journey with very little empathy and understanding, except for this forum.

:smitten:
[…]

Re: Anyone else been told this?
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2016, 09:40:37 pm »

[Buddie]

He is exaggerating about being an “expert”. Most ER docs I have ever seen arent very benzo educated.