Addict regrets finding Benzo Buddies

I regret finding the truth
« on: September 12, 2020, 03:36:53 am »

[Buddie]

I regret finding out the truth about benzos and finding BB. It dint help me one bit. I would have been medicated All this time and maybe It wouldn’t have been such a horror show. Maybe I could have at least finished collage.

I was so scared of doctors but by trying to do this my self I failed failed failed.

I just can’t believe this is it, idk how I got wrapped up in this garbage, my life was just starting, I was just starting to find myself. And now it’s all gone.

I should have joined the army, I would have rather gone out with some honor, instead of this stupid bull.
I would go now in a heart beat but there’s no way in hell I’d get though basic training.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2020, 03:37:46 pm by [Buddie] »

Due to COVID-19 isn’t it time Benzo Buddies tells its members to immediately stop tapering, and go back on benzos? Why are they torturing people?

COV19 making it even harder to taper
« on: March 17, 2020, 10:23:25 am »

[Buddie]

increased stress. Now asked to work from home.
Don’t have much equipment to work from home.
Going to work helped my socialization.
I’m in a major long hold. Fear all the stress
will just keep me on the med. Also restart SSRI
to cope with the isolation and stress. I know I
ask a lot. I ask for prayers. Ty

Re: COV19 making it even harder to taper
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2020, 03:01:44 pm »

[Buddie]

I am not sure if it will help. However when I work from home I usually keep a TV, YouTube or radio on as ‘background noise’. This usually helps me cope with isolation.

Re: COV19 making it even harder to taper
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2020, 10:55:28 am »

[Buddie]

I’m letting all the pandemic news scare me
bc it’s change. And I had adjustment do
even before all this. I find I can’t tolerate
SSRI ordered for me . It’s too sedating
and makes my body feel terrible. Ty

Pothead begs Benzo Buddies for help

17 yrs benzo and 17 months off + weed
« on: April 10, 2019, 09:44:26 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello to all of you :),

I am extremely happy I found this forum.  :laugh: I am 35 yrs old male single. I was diagnosed with depression/ADD/ADHD when I was 17. The dosage I consume is very consistent throughout the years, 1 benzo and 1 anti depressant. Two years ago, I discover weed reduces my anxiety and sleep so much. I started to hang out with pothead friends then I found out benzo is @(*#! I cold turkey 17 months ago and I created a new habit of smoking pot. Everyday, all day none stop. A year ago, I didn’t smoke for a month and I still had serve symptoms. So I continue to consume cannabis ever since.

symptoms :

anxiety
dizziness and headache
foggy brain, there is like a pressure in the brain
muscle tightness entire body
impossible to have a good posture
extremely isolated with reality
depression
memory lost
hard to concentrate
heart palpitate
hypersensitive to noise, sounds, light
chest pain
hard to breath
blurry eyes
foggy brain
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee on my ear
coordination
directional lost

psychological :

family and friends are the biggest joke ever
2019 we communicate with our fingers and eyes on screen, I can’t stand the fact that people don’t reply or take my messages seriously. I get extremely upset that I would just give up and block the person right away. Why not call?
suicidal thoughts
severe repetitively negative thoughts
especially on tinder ( dating app ) I talk to ppl with respect but I get mistreated, like super mad with these girls. I know their mindset is not very healthy to begin with. Anyway I deleted the app yesterday.
tons of childhood memory came back
unable to maintain any relationship
fear of going out
takes a lot of effort to do a simple thing. ( going to grocery store, food )
is it weed or is it benzo withdrawal
nobody understand and sometimes I think I am crazy
feeling hopeless
tire, fatigue feeling all day
I do get this weird feeling coming back and forth. Sometimes it’s not obvious so I don’t know how to describe it. All of sudden my chest and heart have this tingling feel. It is hard to breath and then it’s gone.

For the past one and half year, I didn’t do anything. Blaze and youtube everyday. Whenever I tell someone my benzo withdrawal. They couldn’t understand and most of them want to argue with me. I don’t have any friends anymore, I don’t talk to my family.  Sometime, I feel extremely lonely but I am so afraid I will end up any relationships. I can’t afford to loose more friends. Is it me or is this benzo withdrawal????????

FM2(Flunitrazepam): Modipanol/Rohypnol        ***7 years
Syndoman 30mg.  FLURAZEPAM HCL                    ****4 years
MESYREL 50MG TRAZODONE HYDROCHLOR
LENDORMIN Brotizolam
Valdoxan Agomelatine

I only take 1 benzo and 1 anti depressant a day. Like the tablets we see from normal pharmaceutical drugs.

My apology for the long and boring words. It’s just so much anxiety even typing these out.

Best,

[…]

Benzo Buddies forces members to give up coffee

Re: Does Everybody Truly Heal? ***MAY BE TRIGGERING***
« Reply #160 on: November 18, 2018, 11:24:23 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 18, 2018, 09:14:24 pm
I had no desire for a cup of morning coffee in early withdrawal as my system was already overstimulated. Extreme physiological panic and seizures particularly wipe out any desire for coffee. When things calmed down and I felt better, I went back to living dangerously with my cup of joe. So far, so good. If a wave hits, I can’t disprove the coffee theory, but then again, can anyone prove my cup of joe was the culprit? Theories and speculations and proven facts are just different things is all.

Edit: Extreme physiological panic and seizures particularly wiped out any desire for coffee for me. Edited because I suppose I should speak for myself, but I cannot imagine others desiring coffee during such.

Chris Cornell’s history of drug abuse swept under carpet by deranged Benzo Buddies kooks screaming justice

Chris Cornell’s Family Sues Psychiatrist over Ativan
« on: November 01, 2018, 09:30:25 pm »

[Buddie]

Justice
https://variety.com/2018/music/news/chris-cornell-widow-files-malpractice-suit-soundgarden-1203017603/

Admin might need to move this but not sure where it goes.

Re: Chris Cornell’s Family Sues Psychiatrist over Ativan
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2018, 09:46:27 pm »

[Buddie]

imo, attorneys sue where ever there is a chance for monetary settlement. cornell’s wife knew he was taking lorazepam, he told her on the phone shortly before his death that he had taken a few extra doses. why didn’t she/he take appropriate actions in regard to his addiction/drug seeking behavior before his death? the rx’s written to him (940 mg over 20 months) are about 1.5 mg/day, not an excessive dosage. the toxicology autopsy report indicated 4 mg lorazepam, barbiturates (where did he get these?), and other substances. yes, suicide ideation is a symptom associated with benzodiazepines but not any more so for cornell than for you or i. as i said imo, the attorney is seeking monetary settlement for a celebrity’s estate but, such action would likely not be brought by the estate of an average person.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2018, 10:46:35 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Chris Cornell’s Family Sues Psychiatrist over Ativan
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2018, 09:58:01 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 01, 2018, 09:46:27 pm
imo, attorneys sue where ever there is a chance for monetary settlement. cornell’s wife knew he was taking lorazepam, he told her on the phone shortly before his death that he had taken a few extra doses. why didn’t she/he take appropriate actions in regard to his addiction/drug seeking behavior before his death? the rx’s written to him (980 mg over 20 months) are about 1.6 mg/day, not an excessive dosage. the toxicology autopsy report indicated 4 mg lorazepam, barbiturates (where did he get these?), and other substances. yes, suicide ideation is a symptom associated with benzodiazepines but not any more so for cornell than for you or i. as i said imo, the attorney is seeking monetary settlement for a celebrity’s estate but, such action would likely not be brought by the estate of an average person.
Can we please just enjoy the fact that someone is being held accountable and it’s making the news?

Re: Chris Cornell’s Family Sues Psychiatrist over Ativan
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2018, 10:00:49 pm »

[Buddie]

enjoy if you want, but it may make it more difficult for those that are still alive & depend upon benzodiazepines for what ever legitimate purposes they use them or may need them in the future. also, I believe they are suing cornell’s treating physician, a cardiologist, not a psychiatrist: Dr. Robert Koblin is a cardiologist in Beverly Hills, California.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2018, 10:39:47 pm by [Buddie] »

A short history of Cornell's drug abuse

Turnbridge

Chris Cornell had long struggled with drug abuse and addiction. He started using around age 12, and by the time he was 13-years-old, he had become a daily drug user – of pot, pills, or whatever was easily accessible at the time. When he was just 14, Chris Cornell had a bad experience with PCP (a dangerous hallucinogen) and wound up with a longer-lasting panic disorder – agoraphobia. For the two years following that experience, Cornell rarely talked to anyone and did not have any friends. He had debilitating flashbacks of his PCP trip and stayed home most of the time. He became depressed.

Though Cornell stayed away from hard drugs for years after that, he drank heavily from adolescence to his late thirties. He was the child of two alcoholics and felt his own drinking problem was nearly inevitable. In a 2006 interview with SPIN magazine, Cornell explained that it was alcohol that eventually led him back to drug abuse:

“I think alcohol is what leads you to everything, because it takes away the fear. The worst drug experimentation I ever did was because I was drunk and didn’t care.” By everything, Chris Cornell primarily meant prescription medications. When things got hard at home, he hit the bottle and took some pills, leading him to an even more severe state of depression and addiction.

Wikipedia

In a 2006 interview, Cornell revealed that at the age of 14, he had a bad PCP experience and suffered from panic disorder and agoraphobia. “I had a bad PCP [angel dust] experience when I was 14 and I got panic disorder. And of course, I wasn’t telling anyone the truth. It’s not like you go to your dad or your doctor and say, ‘Yeah, I smoked PCP and I’m having a bad time.’ So I became more or less agoraphobic because I’d have flashbacks. From 14 to 16, I didn’t have any friends. I stayed home most of the time. Up till then life was pretty great. The world was big and I felt I could do anything I wanted. Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t do anything. But in the isolation, my imagination really had time to run. I never did any drugs until my late 20s. Unfortunately, being a child of two alcoholics, I started drinking a lot, and that’s what eventually got me back into drugs. You often hear that pot leads to harder drugs. But I think alcohol is what leads you to everything, because it takes away the fear. The worst drug experimentation I ever did was because I was drunk and didn’t care.”

Benzo Buddies taper regimen leave addicts disabled, in state of panic

Can't do anything
« on: August 15, 2018, 06:21:16 pm »

[Buddie]

Did quite a bit of housework today and then had a big panic attack. As if my body was telling me to rest. So the panic attack was prolonged and it has left me exhausted and I’ve had to come to bed. Now everything is too much. I have no energy to read a book or magazine and the noise from the tv downstairs is really bugging me.

So I’m lying here doing nothing but I have a nagging voice inside me telling me that I should be doing something or I will never get better. Is it normal to have absolutely no energy at all? Thanks.

Re: Can't do anything
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2018, 06:43:39 pm »

[Buddie]

I have no energy at all on pretty much a daily basis. If your body is telling you to rest than please rest. It can only help , not hurt. you are not being lazy. In fact resting when your body wants to is a way to help heal in my opinion.

I have so little energy that its scary. Also extreme muscle weakness. From where I was at before fitness wise this is a total nightmare and a joke at how little I can do. I guess this happens in Benzo withdrawal. For me it was bone crushing fatigue and then weakness. Its been going on about 14 weeks for me.

Try not to worry, I know its hard. This is withdrawal and it will eventually pass.