Overcoming fear/mistrust of Doctors. « on: February 19, 2019, 10:28:13 pm »
I know from all posts I’ve read that I’m very far from alone in this and do have that question. (I’m not even sure whether or not moderators will take down this thread or let it be, since I do find it a little odd that I haven’t already come across a thread like this. I do take great care composing a thread/posts that they won’t possibly distress or offend anyone.) I’m concerned some symptoms I’m having are serious, but I have these mistrust and fear issues. My experiences with doctors haven’t been highly favorable to begin with, never mind this travesty. My doctor had prescribed for over a decade and when his group practice was taken over by a larger one informed me, on phone, that the refill he was giving was the last – which, rapid detox could’ve killed me. I’d only known about tapers b/c I’d had a gut feeling that the depression I’d been feeling for 2 years @ that time was due to the ativan, so I’d already begun my research. He’d also overprescribed, which I hadn’t taken full amount, so I’ve had a reserve to do my dry cuts…
I’ve been experiencing many w/d sxs; won’t go into all the details here; anyone wanting more back-story can click on my username and look through my posts history. Since August ’18 have experienced steady weight gain (especially in truck of body) and pain in right ankle. I don’t remember twisting it; but it’s possible I did. Since end of December, everything’s much worse, & which I’ve attributed to w/d with decreasing amounts being in my system & all the poisons having to be expunged. I can’t, though, ignore how much worse the right ankle pain is (the only time I’m not in pain is when asleep, blessed relief/hard to come by), along w/both calves swelling now & the calf skin being tight & shiny. Now, I’m thinking the additional weight gain may all be water-retention (esp. as I’ve been slim whole life & so were parents).
My concern is that this may be heart-related, as my blood pressure had been borderline high & it may have been the ativan keeping it even at that level & not higher. During this same time period, a loved one had awful experiences of her closest loved ones & their ultimate demises; one of whom had much swelling w/skin weeping & an awful 2-3 months before he was finally granted the ultimate respite from a higher power, but not before doctors/hospitals tortured him further. I know how much she detests and reviles doctors now, too, from those experiences, but that she does keep her own doctor appointments. Hearing those experiences, combined with my own already existing ones during this same time period, I’m more mistrustful and fearful of the medical community than ever. I do have a call out to her (leaving out the exact specifics, b/c even w/her, I’m afraid she’ll just advise going to dr. or hospital) asking how she gets over any of her own feelings in order to visit a doctor at all. She’s actively grieving (& why I’d hated to pose this question to her at all, but did it as obliquely as possible, b/c I know she’ll be concerned about me & she’s been though enough) – so, I don’t know if/when I’ll hear from her…
Any helpful tips appreciated. (on getting over the fear/mistrust – please, not just advising “go to” dr./hospital- thank you)
« Last Edit: February 19, 2019, 11:16:41 pm by [Buddie]
UK psychiatrist for over 20 years was an imposter « on: November 19, 2018, 02:52:37 pm »
I thought I was beyond being shocked, but this is utterly appalling. How could any doctor possibly get away with this?
Freaking out « on: September 25, 2018, 08:15:49 pm »
The side effects have gotten a little too much for me this week because they are hitting areas that are huge triggers – my eyesight. I’m an artist and design for a living. I’ve been able to work throughout this ordeal but now things are complicated because I have visual snow. I need to go for an eye exam to rule out actual eye damage, but eye exams are a huge stressor for me. I have fainted in my last two exams, and that was WITH Klonopin. What the heck do I do now? My fear is actually enough for me to want to skip out on the appointment completely which I know is stupid but I don’t want to faint. I don’t know what to do or how to cope right now. I cried hysterically earlier. The exam isn’t until Thursday morning.
Re: Freaking out « Reply #1 on: September 26, 2018, 10:22:35 pm »
I cancelled my appointment. I can’t do it
Hello, My Story « on: August 17, 2018, 01:25:54 pm »
Hi. I’m in a bad situation because I decided to smoke weed with friends about three months ago and only one hit threw me into a mood frenzy. I was an insomniac for a week after, non stop crying, paranoid, and panic attacks. So I managed to get 1mg Xanax from a friend which I used for about 14 days at night for sleep to reset my sleep. The last four days, I cut it to .5mg and then .25mg. I then stopped because I felt fine. However, I have been having up and down mood swings, palpitations that make me fear a heart attack, restlessness, shaking, paranoia, and what feels like chronic fatigue. I fear for my life like the weed may have cause tachycardia or mitral valve prolapse. Is this just from my underlying anxiety or the CT from the xanax? I got a shaky episode the other night and had to use one to stop the tremors and feel it was a bad idea. I see a psychiatrist Monday and I am terrified because I can’t tell the doctor about the weed or the xanax because the medicine was not prescribed to me and I could get in trouble. What do I do? I fear my life may never be the same again. I am weak and tremoring as I write this. What if I’m developing mental illness? The only option is for the psych to prescribe me benzos or ssris. I don’t want either.
Re: Hello, My Story « Reply #1 on: August 17, 2018, 01:37:37 pm »
Welcome to Benzo Buddies! I’m sorry you had such a severe effect from marijuana. Some strains can in fact increase anxiety, it appears you might have experienced this. Additionally, there might have been other substances in the marijuana that cause your reaction.
You took xanax for about two weeks. The recommended length of time for taking benzos is a maximum of two to three weeks, so you are right in that time frame. You are most likely feeling the effects from stopping xanax. There is likely to be withdrawal effects of some kind after two weeks of use. I do believe that these symptoms should ease up though, it may take a little while though.
If it were me, I would explain to the doctor what started your issues. If you don’t explain the cause, it is likely that the doctor will diagnose you with an anxiety disorder. If you didn’t have issues like this before using marijuana, then the effects you felt were due to the weed.
Your central nervous system took a hit with the marijuana and xanax. It may take a little while for things to settle, but they will. Try to distract from what you feel so that the fear doesn’t cause more issues.
I’ll give you a link to the Ashton Manual. It is an excellent resource about benzos and how to withdraw. It was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field. The manual does discuss tapering in detail but IMO, I would not suggest this for you. If it were me, I’d stay away from benzos and allow my body to recover.
I’ll also give you a link to the Post Withdrawal Recovery Board where you can post and receive feedback from members.
Your life will be the same, once your system recovers. I know this can be frightening, I felt the same way when I was directed to stop ativan for a medical test. I’m glad you’ve joined, you’ll find a lot of good information and support here. It’s going to be OK.
Re: Hello, My Story « Reply #2 on: August 17, 2018, 02:13:00 pm »
Thanks. If my psych has to give me something, what would be the best route as I am terrified of those withdrawals as well?
Re: Hello, My Story « Reply #3 on: August 17, 2018, 06:29:15 pm »
Quote from: [Buddie] on August 17, 2018, 02:13:00 pm
Thanks. If my psych has to give me something, what would be the best route as I am terrified of those withdrawals as well?
You don’t have to take any medication if offered. It is your body and you can make the decision as to what to put in it. I didn’t even know what a benzo was when I was prescribed it. I had no idea about it’s potential for dependency or withdrawal. I learned a big lesson; be proactive about what I take and question everything.
It’s been my experience that ‘some’ doctors want to medicate everything when there are other alternatives.
Re: Hello, My Story « Reply #4 on: August 17, 2018, 07:04:06 pm »
Yeah. I also forgot to mention that three days before the weed incident, I CT’d beer completely and for the past year I was drinking three to four to five a day. Could that have something to do with what I am going through maybe?
How benzobuddies ruined my life, long proctated withdrawal 4 years off « on: June 01, 2018, 06:12:39 pm »
my last name here was pil54, in 2014 here i Registered after a fast taper of 7mg prazepam, i was just reinstated 4,5mg and it wasnt enought to stabilized me, i should have gone back to 7mg at least or even more for it to be effective, and restart a slow taper.
Back of that i was first on 20mg, i discovered the Ashton manual and was doing it even slower, reducing 5% every 2 weeks with barely no symptoms at all, all was very manageable, working full time job through it. For one year i tapered from 20mg to 7mg very easily, it wasnt the hell people describe here to taper at all, everyone here who describe hell tapering psych meds is just going too fast . Until i stupidly lost patience andtryed to accelerate and it went hell and i ended cold turkey 7mg
I can remember moderators here telling me ” You are paradoxical you just need to quit and let your brain heal, Accute only last 3 month then it will get better, everyone heal”, That sentence EVERYONE HEAL, you will read it all day by every people here, those all unknow people behind their screen can litteraly destroy all your life if you listen them advices.
Its what i did, and thats what they did, they ruined my whole life, I tapered those last 4,5mg in 3 month, reducing 0,5or 0,25mg every 8 days, and i went severly ill because i wasnt stable at all before tapering, they told me ” dont care accute last 3 month “
Am still in accute 4 yeas later, next month i will be 4 years off every benzo or psych meds, and i never recovered from the symptoms of my fast taper here in 2014,
I still have akathisia, i wake up Everyday in terror with electricity in my whole body, with surge of feeling loosing my mind like i have mania, severe insomnia, depersonnalization that never went away 4 years laters, during those years i developped pots syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome from the daily severe terror my body was experiencing.
They told me ” its normal if withdrawal for years, and i Believe them, i thought it was normal, IT WAS NOT, IT WAS ABSOLUTLY NOT.
Am now living with the crazy idea on my shoulder that i was better 4 years ago while i was doing my slow micro taper, than now 4 years off after my last dose after my failed tapers.
And it’s been the same for my old friends here who Registered in the same generation of me, Hurtbrain, Crazypants, benzommama, rackshka, all those people who tapered wrong and been told they would heal, they are now 4-5-6 years later never healed because of listening people here on that same forum.
That message is to warm the newbies here and all the people suffering to realy inform you before you do a fast taper and listen people here telling you that whatever the way you tapered you will heal, it’s false, its the worse shit every spammed here but its not reality,
Jennyfer Leigh, baylissa,ian singleton, una corbet, They all lie, they all say what you want to hear just to reassurance, but they have no idea how long a brain damage from a rapid taper can take to recover, for years they lied to me saying i would heal if i avoid alcohol and psych meds, I DID, and i never healed 4 years later.
My life is a living hell now because i regret Everyday the mistake i did to listen unknow people advice behind a screen, even my doctor told me to reinstate to my last dosage if i felt sick and retaper slower, it would have been the think to do, instead i trusted that forum
Please inform yourself, the best safe way to escape benzo hell is a micro taper of 5% every 2 weeks of your dosage
This brief editorial is a statement to introduce a new working group on benzodiazepines, the International Task Force on Benzodiazepines, which comprises independent scientists, clinical researchers, and clinical psychopharmacologists. No references are included here as it would be beyond the scope and goal of this introduction, but a full review on benzodiazepines will be the topic of a number of papers and presentations in the near future.
Benzodiazepines have been with us since the dawn of modern psychopharmacology. Chlordiazepoxide, the first benzodiazepine, was discovered by Leo Sternbach in the late 1950s and was approved for use in the USA in 1960. Sternbach, a genial chemist, also discovered several other benzodiazepines, such as clonazepam, diazepam, flurazepam, flunitrazepam, and nitrazepam.
Benzodiazepines quickly became popular and widely used due to their versatility, tolerability, and ease of use. As they have anxiolytic, anticonvulsant, hypnotic, muscle relaxant, and sedative properties, they have been used widely and remain the most widely prescribed psychotropic medications among all medical specialties. Psychiatrists have been using benzodiazepines for the treatment of anxiety disorders, insomnia, alcohol withdrawal, and as adjunct therapy for many other indications since their discovery. The anxiolytic properties of benzodiazepines are still unsurpassed by other psychotropic medications, such as antidepressants and antipsychotics that are used in the treatment of anxiety disorders and anxiety symptoms in other mental disorders. Their adverse effect profile is relatively benign, with sedation and possible cognitive impairment being noted most frequently.
In spite of the unquestionable benefits of benzodiazepines and their popularity among physicians of various disciplines, we have witnessed a fairly negative campaign against benzodiazepines, which are often described as being readily abused (although their abuse liability is low and, if abuse occurs, it is in the context of other substance abuse). Interestingly, this campaign has intensified since the advent of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) in the mid-1990s. The SSRIs, originally approved for the treatment of depressive disorders, were quickly approved for various anxiety disorders despite the lack of sufficient evidence (i.e., comparison to the existing efficacious anxiolytic drugs, benzodiazepines), and they are now promoted as the first-line treatment for these disorders. In addition, the scientific literature has gradually and surreptitiously been flooded with more and more articles on “negative” properties of benzodiazepines. While many of these publications have either not been based on good science or been frankly biased, they easily achieved a common goal that negative propaganda frequently reaches: they aroused suspicion of benzodiazepines and suggested difficulties in using them, while overlooking their benefits. An “illusion of truth” effect then occurred as frequently repeated negative information and half-truths gradually became the truth as benzodiazepines were given a “bad” name and their reputation was damaged, especially in some scientific circles. Even prescribing these drugs has become a cumbersome procedure around the world.
The International Task Force on Benzodiazepines, as a group of investigators and clinical psychopharmacologists with long-standing clinical and scientific expertise, has been concerned about this excessively negative trend. We feel that benzodiazepines have not been given proper attention during the last 2–3 decades, they have not been adequately compared to other psychotropic medications in various indications, and their risks and side effects have been overemphasized. Some of us feel that benzodiazepines have been the subject of an unspoken “commercial war.”
This Task Force will be working on presenting various psychiatric and medical audiences with information about benzodiazepines which is evidence based, balanced, unbiased, and clinically relevant and useful. We believe that our colleagues deserve such information as it will encourage our common goal of treating our patients effectively, properly, and safely. We hope to preserve benzodiazepines as a valuable part of our armamentarium.
Hearing things that are not there « on: April 07, 2018, 10:53:57 am »
Lately i’ve been hearing things / imagining things that are not there. For example:
* Phone ringing, i rush downstairs to find out that the phone had not been ringing.
* People calling my name.
* Hearing gas from the stove being turned on. I then often check the stove if it’s really on or not.
Am i becoming schizophrenic now? Or is someone just messing with me?
How are you speaking with your GP « on: March 01, 2018, 08:43:03 am »
Are you telling to your GP when you going to talk to him about a symptom like blood pressure spikes, headache, etc you are on withdrawal?
I’m afraid to tell to my GP when I’m going with blood pressure problem because the previous one want to send me back to psychiatric doctor after 5 month off when I was still in strong symptoms.
Re: How are you speaking with your GP « Reply #1 on: March 01, 2018, 09:32:55 am »
I don’t go to my GP or to psychiatrist because I would probably not tell them nice things about what I think about them, their profession and their knowledge.
Re: How are you speaking with your GP « Reply #2 on: March 01, 2018, 10:30:30 am »
I know what you mean. I thought long time same. Now I’m just afraid to go because I not want to hear any bad.
Re: How are you speaking with your GP « Reply #3 on: March 01, 2018, 11:23:42 am »
I avoid GP unless essential visit. No point. Just stresses me out.
Re: How are you speaking with your GP « Reply #4 on: March 01, 2018, 01:00:50 pm »
My advice is, YES, tell your GP that you know why you are having high BP and anxiety issues. Tell him that you have been doing a lot of homework that most in his profession don’t even bother to do. I have almost developed the opinion that if I want to get sick, go visit the doctor! If your GP gives you any condescending comments or shows any sign of brushing your concerns off as if you don’t know what you are talking about………Find another doctor!
Re: How are you speaking with your GP « Reply #5 on: March 01, 2018, 01:49:24 pm »
My GP is a good guy, who’s been doing this for 30 years, but has NEVER seen a reaction like mine.
he kinda sits there befuddled as i describe all this to him. im like “dude, im TELLIN ya im not exaggerating, and then i ramble for 10 minutes on the horror.”
He sorta skeptically believes me, and he actually feels bad, takes some responsibility. in my case, i tell him its not his fault because my whole ordeal im convinced was brought on with insane levels of binge drinking the last two years before i went sober. my alcohol withdrawal melded right into my benzo withdrawal.
hes doing what he can, taking frequent blood tests, monitoring my bp and all, but hes pretty uncertain on just what the hell to do with me. when im really struggling, hes like, well, the number one thing you need you cant take now.
its the irony of my life that 5 years ago i went completely sober, got in the gym, hit it hard, changed so many things in my life to try and “see the light” as i cruise through my 40’s…and its been an absoulte unholy hell since the day i put a beer down, quite frankly…and ive never felt as effed up in my life as i have when i went straight….yeah…
Only thing keeping me going is rubbing my brain « on: February 21, 2018, 04:41:07 am »
I haven’t been to the doctor because I am terrified on what i’ll find out. I am being as positive as I can be but it just doesn’t make sense on how I feel. When I massage my hands deep into my brain, it feels like i’m manually triggering my neurons to work. I feel like A part of my brain just wont function unless I apply pressure to it. I can feel 100 percent like shit but once I stimulate A certain area on my head, I feel almost normal immediately. It’s so weird. My symptoms are dizzyness, nauseous, and feeling panicy. I have no anxiety at all by the way. just mental symptoms. i’m not feeing the usual symptoms from withdrawal and it worries me. I think i’m going to the doctors soon and see what’s going on with me. Wish me luck. Fill you guys in later