Years wasted tapering the Benzo Buddies way only to realize you’ll never feel normal again without psych drugs

Skeptical About Healing
« on: June 12, 2019, 04:50:52 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m really tired of feeling skeptical that I’ll ever get better. I’m 14.5 months off now, and over 12 months off all alcohol.

I’m dealing with intrusive thoughts, anger at my family for no reason, depression, anhedonia, fear, and the list goes on. I have burning in my calves still and facial pressure.

I’m just worried I’m never going to feel normal again without trying other psych drugs. I’ve done everything I can. I drink lots of water. I have been exercising daily (I am still very active). I get between 10,000 to 17,000 steps a day and do at least a half hour of cardio. I notice no immediate benefit from working out. I don’t really notice it later in the day either. I eat better, for the most part. No other drugs. No alcohol. I have recently tried caffeine again and notice it doesn’t hurt or help me at all.

I get constant reassurance from a few people who have gotten better that I will get better but it doesn’t help and I need to be hearing it all day. But I can’t do that all day. I’m just over this. Want to feel normal and enjoy things again.

Addict fantasizes about murdering family after joining Benzo Buddies anti-doctor cult

Fear of Going Home
« on: May 08, 2019, 09:36:08 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m having a really hard time wanting to go home after work. I feel anger toward my family and have intrusive thoughts. I’ve had these things for so long that I’ve formed an aversion to my home. Don’t know what to do at this point. Never thought this would happen at nearly 14 months off. Does anybody have this? Does this sound like benzo withdrawal at all? I may have to quit my job and move at this point.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2019, 10:01:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Yeah, I think you begin to associate all this horror with your home, and family, and job, and everything around you, and you feel like getting away from it all. I used to hate being at home. I’d just get in the car and drive around the mountains for the whole day. Anything to get away. Of course, if you have a lot of anger, you might not want to go driving around. Might turn into road rage. But maybe some long walks might help.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2019, 12:32:14 am »

[Buddie]

You might have some other psychological issues (LOL – editor). This is not a criticism but your posts suggest it and your benzo doses were never very high. Maybe some cognitive behavioral therapy to help you deal with these negative thought patterns. Quitting your job and moving wont change a thing in my opinion. Best of luck.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2019, 02:05:35 am »

[Buddie]

Been seeing a therapist since July. I started seeing a second therapist in April too. Nothing has helped.

All I know is that when I quit benzos the second time I didn’t sleep for a full month and it felt like I was going into states of psychosis. I had suicidal ideation up to about a year off. That has eased off and it’s morphed into this fear of going home and fear and anger around other people, particularly my family.

Member: Benzo Buddies dangerous, harmed 10s of 1000s

Re: Are we telling people the wrong thing ?
« Reply #141 on: November 10, 2018, 06:20:04 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 10, 2018, 06:10:38 am
Do nothing!!! Everyone must do NOTHING. No matter what ails you! Only TIME will cure you … meaning just get older, that’s all we have to do, just breathe oxygen and stay alive.
I agree, I hate this attitude around here. If you’ve just gotten worse and worse and have ten times more symptoms than you had in acute, then you have a disease. If you haven’t healed after 2 years then it’s time to see the doctor, and you should probably be proactive and continuously see doctors the whole time before then too. This forum is dangerous, has harmed tens of thousands of people – It encourages disease by making people complacent about their health and the progression of a serious illness. Almost every amateur health community on the internet is guilty of this too – everything is about their disease and working strictly within their system of protocols whether that system deals with heavy metals, genetic mutations, tick borne illness, hormones, or psychiatric drugs/withdrawals. And worst of all they all seem to share the attitude that getting worse for indefinite amounts of time is acceptable or a sign of healing – there is no way out and method of undiagnosing yourself from their illness and their train of thought.
« Last Edit: November 10, 2018, 06:38:13 am by [Buddie] »