Angry addict’s rage puts two-year old at risk

Extreme Rage/Anger
« on: September 11, 2017, 10:23:00 am »

[Buddie]

I have this constant rage or anger where I just want to start screaming or punching walls. It lasts almost all day. I have zero patience with anything/anyone. Can anyone relate/validate this for me? When did it subside for you? I have a 2 year old daughter and I get so frustrated way to easily.

I need reassurance 

Re: Extreme Rage/Anger
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2017, 10:30:00 am »

[Buddie]

deep massage in the liver

it went away with time for me

Re: Extreme Rage/Anger
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2017, 03:05:03 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve been having this on and off during my taper. It is very hard to not actually get very angry at something for me. I think the longest it lasted was two weeks but it seems to keep coming and going for me.

Ashton-inspired scaremongering drives short-term Xanax user into arms of anti-psychiatry cult

Looking for some advice New Here
« on: April 26, 2017, 09:31:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey guys, I’ve been taking .25 of Xanax for 1 month now. I want to taper off. My doctor thinks I will be fine just stopping cold turkey but I don’t feel ok with that. I began tapering last week taking 3/4 of a .25 by breaking it up into 4 peices. Did that seven days. Now taking 1/2 of .25 plan to do this for 7 days. Then take only 1/4 of .25 for a week then stop. Could someone tell me is this a good taper plan? I have heard some scary stories of tapering that makes me nervous. Let me know any advice please guys. Thank you!

Microtapering madness: Ashton dogma costs addict job

Lost my job due to withdrawal. It's time to go back on. What now?
« on: April 18, 2017, 12:03:09 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello everyone,

My arduous journey with benzodiazepine drugs didn’t begin until August of 2015. I started taking 10mg of valium per day. Fast forward to a year later, and my initial efforts at trying to cease usage commenced. Work got tough, and I had to jump back on. The new year started (2017), and I once again made the attempt.

Long story short, valium withdrawal makes it impossible for me to function at work. I cannot concentrate, I make mistakes, and it makes me an unpleasant person. This resulted in me being pushed out of my job. I am very fortunate that I got another one, but I am very fearful of ever attempting to come off again. I’m going to be making an appointment with a psychiatrist once again and just be straight with them – I need this drug to function and hold down a job.

For me, honestly, outside of my job – I feel the withdrawal process was actually ok. I haven’t had huge problems sleeping, although I reliably wakeup after about 5 hours of sleep. Socially, I feel like I’m doing ok. It’s really only at work where my anxiety level about whether or not I would be fired was over the top.

Almost everything else I can live with, but the lack of concentration, drive, and focus is very bad. Even with a gradual taper, it was debilitating. My job requires both drive and extreme concentration and attention to detail. I lose all of that during withdrawal.

My plan is to see a new psychiatrist, and explain that I need to get stable for a few months with whatever drugs are necessary, and then commence either a very long taper or an inpatient treatment center (if I can afford it).

One thing that concerns me is my aggression that is heightened during withdrawal. I really feel like it might be worth asking a psychiatrist for prozac or something similar in addition to the valium. Maybe even lithium.

I know a lot of people here have just as difficult of a time as me, but please keep in mind, I cannot easily just take 3-4 months off.

Today, it almost seems like I should just accepting being an addict until such time as I can attempt another taper or detox clinic.

Does it seem wise to jump on again so I can have a career? Should I be considering other adjunctive drugs, such as an antidepressant?

Proactive advice welcome. Thank you!

Long benzo tapers cause cancer?

Long Benzo Tapers cause cancer!
« on: October 20, 2016, 04:54:50 pm »

[Buddie]

I just finished reading an article that was withhold from the public from the FDA that shows long term benzo usage including taper time can cause throat cancer, bladder cancer, and testicular cancer in men as well as numerous cancers in women. This is very concerning as I thought benzos were safe.

Benzo Buddies approved taper destroys family

Tapered too soon?
« on: August 07, 2016, 01:34:14 pm »

[Buddie]

So earlier this summer I had posted a bunch about my wife and tapering a little too fast and eventually crashing which led on for weeks. Well, at the end of of all we wound back at her original dose of 2 mg a day of clonazepam. She stabilised, and pride wounded, we went on with life and started talking about tapering again when we thought things were OK enough. A few weeks back she transitioned to milk based titration but held her dose and then slowly we started to taper. Whopping thee days worth taking her from 2 mg to 1.97 and she seems to be OK but then some major life stressors came into play and before we knew it she had completely spiraled out of control. Did we start tapering too soon? Was she just not really stable enough to begin with and extra susceptible to stress and panic? It is so hard to tell but now she is walled up in the bedroom, fetal position, crawling out if her skin. I’m planning to call her doctor on Monday and am resigned he may bump up her dose, at which point we just hold for a while before thinking about titrating again.

I am beside myself. I am statring a new job next week and I know I can’t be so lax with my schedule as to try and be available for my wife when she is like this. Our daughter starts kindergarten right after that and I will have my hands full just taking care of the family. Its nuts, just nuts. Sorry to vent a little.

Do Ashton micro-tapers cause Alzheimer’s and cancer?

Longer tapers equal greater chances of cancers and Alzheimers disease
« on: June 21, 2016, 07:36:28 pm »

[Buddie]

I just read using the drug for a long period of time including long drawn out tapers (6 months or greater) is actually bad and can cause Alzheimers disease and cancers. This oncologist my mom sees told me it may be an easier withdraw but the drug is so toxic that it can cause all sorts of cancers and brain damage the longer you keep putting the drug into the blood stream. He said choosing between a slightly rough withdrawal or cancer and or alzheimers disease should be common sense. What is everyones opinion on cancer risk vs slow tapers?

One year “hold”? Maybe in 10 years they’ll be off…

Re: THE LONG HOLD SUPPORT GROUP.
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2016, 07:50:12 pm »

[Buddie]

1 year holding here after a far too rapid taper losing 70% in just 7.5 months !!!

Started to feel better at 3 months.

Lived a bit of life since.

Even flew to the UK in December alone to see family !!!

I have been much better for it and have felt 80% most of the time and even 85% well…

No plans to taper for awhile yet.

Now at 2.9 mg Valium equivalent.

Long term user of over 20 years.

Benzo Buddies addiction and cyberchondria are dangerous to your health: “I’ve lost my youth because of Google”

The pitfalls of the internet, and the vast information available.
« on: February 20, 2016, 03:41:55 pm »

[Buddie]

Members old and new remember that the mind is a powerful thing, and you can create worry and obsession – from viewing the forum every once in a while to every hour of the day. From Googling symptoms and self diagnosis… For example I used zopiclone for 8 years with zero issues until I googled long term use and came to a result about cancer, now it’s a daily obsession, every pain in my body, ie back pain, is a tumor or something.

Avoid self diagnosis and being given information (informed or misinformed) and only take advice from a doctor. I have a lot of medical knowledge, an AWFUL lot, and I still manage to convince myself I’m ill every day. If you take anything from the groups or websites make sure it’s ONLY support and friendship, DO NOT allow yourself to believe you may also have a symptom another member is having or something you’ve Googled.

Because your body is 100% individual to you, as is your situation… Don’t do what I did, I spent 10 years in the house without going outside saying “I’m going to die” I’ve lost my youth because of Google.

Don’t lose your future too.

Quote from: [Buddie] on February 07, 2016, 04:02:18 am
I think a lot of people get freaked out by so many horror stories and that this ramps up anxiety and wd sxs.

There have to be more people reading these posts that are doing alright. I am and I had years on a high dose of Xanax.      

Sure if you feel something, and others do too, then obviously you can gain a lot of support from people going through the same thing. But remember that because someone else is going through an issue, don’t allow yourself to assume you will too.

This is especially true for stuff like seizures, I see MANY people who have read online about seizures and are scared to reduce because of it! But before they read this information seizures were the LAST THING on their mind.

Now they won’t taper because of it.

Recently (yesterday), I reinstated a double dose of zopiclone of 15mg because I was told by a NUMBER of members that I was in massive withdrawal from dropping from 15mg to 7.5mg within 3 days, and that I was I quote “going crazy” the damage has been done and I’ve now reinstated at 15mg and have to start ALL OVER AGAIN to reduced.

And I was doing SO WELL.

BUT I’m not going to take 15mg again, screw those members. AND this is my point, they don’t know me, my body, or drugs, or the affects it will have on anybody’s body.

Now ironically, I too have done this, but in the opposite way, trying to rationalise some of the symptoms people feel.

In the same way doctors try and convince me I DON’T have cancer or anything else, and I can’t be convinced. So I guess a lot of members are so tied into their beliefs like I am with my issues that when someone says “Hey it might not be that” that you completely dismiss it.

Which is what I do also.

Anyway, the point is, NEW MEMBERS don’t have that same mindset, but its easily created… and when I joined this forum I was a new member with no issues… Then members educated me on what I should be feeling –

If you’re a member reading this, just remember to use this place for support and friendships. Not for diagnosis, and don’t tell other members that they should be in withdrawal or interdose withdrawal or that they “CAN EXPECT THIS” (YES I’VE SEEN THAT)

“I’m tapering _____” “You can expect to feel anxiety, not sleeping” etc etc

I was so shocked when I seen this, it was a while ago, and then the member lost her shit and was clearly upset.

Most people are here because they can’t sleep at night, then we all need to sleep well knowing we support members and don’t impression vulnerable people
« Last Edit: February 20, 2016, 04:01:06 pm by [Buddie] »