BENZO FREE AND LOVING IT? NOT EXACTLY.

Healed after 12 years!
« on: April 13, 2017, 05:51:33 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m coming up on 12 years benzo free. On may 5, 2005 I was cold turkeyed in the hospital. It was the most horrific and unforeseen event in my life and it has changed me as a human being forever. Slowly, very slowly over 1-5 benzo free years my symptoms waxed and waned until at 5 years benzo free my life was about 80% of what I was pre-benzo. Life was good but not great for a few months. The unrelenting horror, mental anguish and general displeasure for life had abated but the physical symptoms were still alive and well… just milder and I expected them to all abate as well as time marched on.

At almost 6 years benzo free the flood gates reopened again and I was cast back into what I would call acute benzo withdrawal! It was just as bad as the beginning if not worse… as a matter of fact a lot worse! All the progress I made was suddenly gone and I was left a 40 year old man with a wife and two kids, a beautiful home crying on the floor with no hope for a future. It nearly broke me as a human being and I was ready to give up.

Luckily I had tremendous support from the person I had been with my whole life…My loving wife. She knew me since high school and knew that this was not the man she married. Luckily she believed in me because I didn’t and at 6 years I didn’t think recovery was possible. I thought I had permanent brain damage from the ativan and I would never recover.

My wife got busy and contacted many people on my behalf.  Una Corbett, Barry Haslam, Baylissa Frederick (Bliss), and even to professor Ashton herself! They ‘ALL’ said to my amazement ‘HE WILL RECOVER’ and ‘THIS SOMETIMES HAPPENS’. She even made an account here to talk to people on my behalf (I was too unwell to post then). I’m Mr. B by the way!

The symptoms were very hard up until 11 years benzo free and right now at almost 12 years benzo free my life is brilliant!!!  I can see the light again and feel love, joy, and happiness. I’m 47 years old and have a new lease on life and you will too. Please people believe in recovery…BELIEVE!!!

It happens for ‘EVERYBODY’ given time and staying off  benzos and ‘ALL’ chemical crap!

Mr. B

PEARLS OF WISDOM FROM REINSTATED JANA

Jana

Creating a condition that is stable as possible is the first pre-taper work. Here is how to do it:

  1. Take a consistent dose that you find best covers the withdrawal symptoms.
  2. Make or buy a liquid delivery form of your benzo.
  3. Divide that daily dose into from two to four EVEN doses. The liquid makes dividing easy.
  4. Take the divided doses at even intervals through the 24 hour period. That may be every twelve, eight, or four hours. Do not set am alarm to wake up for a dose. Take it as soon as you do awake and then take the rest of the doses on schedule.

That’s the “secret” to feeling better quickly and being in a good place for your real taper. Everyone needs to know this. Pass it on.

Just this simple pre-taper will surprise you and make you realize that you really can have control over this illness.

Happy Tapering,
Jana


Benzo-free since 3/23/06
Reinstated 6/27/16

A day in the life of an Ashton cultist

  1. take drugs
  2. plot revenge on doctors/psychiatrists
  3. take more drugs
  4. sit on Facebook commiserating with other accidental addicts
  5. take more drugs
  6. wallow in self-pity
  7. take more drugs
  8. go on rant in tiny Facebook group that fantasizes about a legal case – that will never happen – against Big Pharma
  9. take more drugs
  10. check Benzo Buddies to see if anyone else has been sent into a giant wave by hairspray or bottled water
  11. take more drugs
  12. create an art book no one but other people in the cult will ever see
  13. take more drugs
  14. pretend to other cult members you’re smarter than a doctor or a psychiatrist
  15. take more drugs
  16. plan to taper for 10-20 years, then become protracted
  17. take more drugs
  18. worship one doctor named Ashton – who treated less that 400 patients, most of which were on other drugs – as a demi-god
  19. take more drugs
  20. deny you ever abused illegal drugs, like LSD
  21. take more drugs
  22. scan the media for any mention of benzos, then fly into a rage if a TV show offends you
  23. take more drugs
  24. be afraid, be very afraid, of butter
  25. take more drugs
  26. deny your psychiatrist’s diagnosis because mental illness does not exist
  27. take more drugs
  28. deny any connection to Scientology/CCHR but repeat exactly what they say about drugs/psychiatry
  29. take more drugs
  30. pass out at your computer

Sounds like fun

Re: Has anyone had the opportunity to meet someone else who went through this ?
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2016, 11:24:39 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve made a number of friends from BB and talked to some on the phone, but have not yet met anyone in person. On my blog I sent an open invitation to my 60th birthday party in October (and hopefully a benzo free celebration too). I am hoping some BB members can make it and we can meet up in person that way.

With love,

[…]

12mg a day Xanax eater’s 2 year taper

waI Stopped taking Benzos last year after 15 years use
« on: February 03, 2016, 01:13:05 am »

[Buddie]

I began tapering two years ago from Xanax, 12 mg per day; by Feb. 14, 2015 I took my last pill and have been benzo […] for one full year with just one exception. Sadly, I still suffer from fairly extreme withdrawal problems. I am looking for advice, help, and support.

Re: I Stopped taking Benzos last year after 15 years use
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2016, 01:44:29 am »

[Buddie]

Wow!
Congrats!
Hope all goes well!

Re: I Stopped taking Benzos last year after 15 years use
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2016, 02:27:09 am »

[Buddie]

Welcome from me too! Wow, 12 mg…that is quite the accomplishment!

Re: I Stopped taking Benzos last year after 15 years use
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2016, 03:31:56 am »

[Buddie]

A one-year taper is actually short for 12mg of Xanax for 15 years, since it’s
one of the “super benzos” (like Klonopin and Ativan). So I’m not surprised
that you are having trouble one year after jump day.

In my 26 months of hell since ending Klonopin (and ssri’s), I’ve learned to avoid
foods and situations that spike my symptoms. Glutamates are the enemy since
neurons are exposed to them, and I’m still not sure how to control them.
(If you post a signature it will help you define your history for yourself
and others who comment.)
I think that lack of sleep and exercise badly hurt my situation.

My 6-week self-taper was totally inadequate after 20 years of prescribed meds.
I’m still in deep trouble. Some things improved a bit, but other things declined
a bit due to my circumstances, my lack of personal knowledge, and lack of
informed medical help.
I would look for a quality book on your condition, since it will deal with
the spectrum of issues.

Benzo Buddies maniac gets hauled to psych ward for 2 weeks after biting through IV

Re: Angry
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2014, 02:24:32 pm »

[Buddie]

BB’s,

There is so much on this thread that resonates with me. First the memories of the trauma that can bring on severe symtoms. I was on .5mg of K for 3 years and I reached tolerance, was experiencing lots of panic attacks, big one last Halloween while I was walking with my son to go trick or treating, ambulance had to come and get me the whole 9 yards. My son was so scared. He was bummed that mom had to get sick on the best night of the year, etc. I wanted out. I was so tired of being on this drug that was a misdiagnosed script to begin with! The doctor who prescribed it to me told me to just stop. No big deal, your on a low dose anyway….BOOM all hell broke lose, I went MAD – sent my son to school on the bus and overdosed. Woke up 15 hours later in the ER with my sister crying beside my side, rubbing my back, I didn’t know why I was there. It didn’t work!!!! The meds where screwing with my mind so bad I just wanted to die. I bit through the IV, blood all over my face, the bed, screaming at the nurses…I was of course sent to the phych ward for 2 weeks. My poor son scared to death, where is my mommy??????  His dad died the previous year…the docs experimented with me like a lab rat, this drug, that drug…it was pure hell. They kept chasing every ssri or something else with ativan to calm me down. I suggested just the ativan and nothing else…I became stable and when I was able to go home I was sick, depressed, crying all the time, shaking, every symtom we have all read about over and over. After the uptenth time visit to the hospital a nurse practitioner took one look at me and said you are on the wrong medication, we need to get you off. THANK GOD FOR HER. She is still helping with my taper…

Point to my story is when I think about that day I OD I cry, the years that have been stolen from my life, all the pain and suffering, my son. I lost the love of my life in this benzo w/d, he left me last week. He just can’t deal. He doesn’t know what part of this is the real me or the drugs…we didn’t have a lot time together before I started benzo. Some will say I’m better off and maybe…but I’ll never know if I was healthy how we could have been together because I can’t forgive him for leaving me when I needed him most. But I wouldn’t be this sick if it wasn’t for the benzos!!!!! Is this my cross to bare? Why me? Why you? Why all of us? Im so tired of telling my son, I can’t mommy is sick. Boy does he hear that a lot. I can’t wait to be able to do more with him. He sees me when I am well and we do so much together, I try to make up for lost time in those moments.

I’m sorry if I got off track. But benzo free. YES we are all heading in that direction. I can’t wait but know I have to be patient. I know that it will be hard years after I jump. I just got the common cold this week and THAT alone caused a seriously bad wave for days. very bad. just from a cold. SO SAD. Will I ever be normal again? What is normal? I was so healthy before benzos….it angers me so.

Cheers to us all for being strong, brave and riding the hellish wave together.

Love and healing to us all.
[…]