NIGHTMARE

KlonopinKills’ ex-lover believed she was possessed, wanted an exorcism

Re: In The Process of Healing - TimeForAChange's Blog
« Reply #4110 on: November 05, 2014, 01:36:28 am »

TimeForAChange

I believe in demonic posession it is real. My family is Catholic, they have seen me dose and hear me talk in voices that were not mine I do not remember this, so tell me what the hell is going on then?! Tell me! There is nothing wrong with me wanting an exorcism and seeking help from spiritual means because I feel like something has attached itself to me and it’s not okay. This is not just the benzos now it’s about saving my life and getting rid of whatever it is messing with me.

I want my account deleted.

I WANT MY ACCOUNT DELETED NOW.

Past Binge Drinker
Alcohol Detox 12.18.13
Prescribed K sick tried to switch to V sick
03.12.14 -CT Detox - 11mg V equivalent BEYOND HELL
03.26.14 - Reinstate 13mg V
05.27.14 - 12mg - Ouch
6.12.14 - 11.88
6.16.14 - 11.76
6.20.14 - 11.64
6.24.14 - 11.52
6.28.14 - 11.40
7.7.14 - 11.5
7.23.14 - 11
8.02.14 - 10.5
8.12.14 - 10
8.27.14 - 9.5
9.21.14 - 9
10.9.14 - CT #2 Psychotic Hell
10.20.14 - Reinstated
Tried to Ashton...Nope
01.08.15 - 15mg V
03.09.15 - 14.55
03.18.15 - 14.46
04.04.15- 15mg and Holding
05.13.15 - 1.5mg Ativan Switch
05.16.15 - Back to V..Ativan felt like being tortured
100mg Lyrica
My Journey

Grandpa joins online pity party, claims accidental addiction

The Accidental Addict
« on: April 05, 2015, 11:10:22 pm »

chessplayer

I didn’t think I’d wind up here. A father & grandfather with a successful career, I never was the druggie type. But here I am, in the scary situation of being a lorazepam addict in need of help. I want to get off this drug and am turning to BenzoBuddies for support and guidance. My saga began about 3 years ago. I was under a lot of work stress and turned to my doctor for help with anxiety. She prescribed Valium, initially a 1-month supply at a fairly low dose, then a refill for a 2nd month. It was effective at relieving my work anxiety. At the time I was totally naïve, I had no idea that this doctor-prescribed drug was so addictive and that it would lead to so many problems down the road. When the Valium ran out, my anxiety level spiked to 10 times worse than it had started out at, to the point where I was not sleeping at all or able to function. I failed to recognize that at the time as a symptom of benzo withdrawal, instead mis-interpreting it as renewed work anxiety. I sought out the help of a psychiatrist, who also failed to recognize my plight for what it was, and who in fact prescribed Ativan to relieve my anxiety. It worked, and under her care I took 1 mg Ativan daily, later increased to 2 mg daily, for over 2 years… Not too long ago, I moved to another state for a job change, and stopped seeing that psychiatrist. I knew my supply of Ativan would run out, but I naively did not expect the drug withdrawal would be a huge deal. On my own I stopped cold turkey, and … wham. I don’t want to go into detail at this point, let’s just say I went crazy for a couple of weeks. I still had a supply of Ativan at the time I went cold turkey. To restore my sanity I had to go back on it, 2 mg / day, which is where I am now. Since then I have been reading a lot. I now know what I need to do is a long slow taper. I have not started the tapering process yet. This will be very difficult. I haven’t yet found a supportive doctor, so at this point I am on my own. Any suggestions on how to find a doctor willing to support benzo withdrawal would be welcome. Also I cannot afford to lose my job during this process and therefore cannot do an extended inpatient kind of thing. For privacy reasons I don’t want to say publicly where I am, I’ll just say in the USA but not in a major city. This is going to be a challenge. Any help & support will be appreciated.

BLAH BLAH BLAH welcome to Benzo Buddies BLAH BLAH BLAH read 
the Ashton Manual BLAH BLAH BLAH make a signature BLAH BLAH 
BLAH you don't need your doctor for anything but a supply 
of pills BLAH BLAH BLAH we are all you need BLAH BLAH BLAH
Re: The Accidental Addict
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2015, 11:44:03 am »

chessplayer

Thanks for the replies. I am glad I found this group and appreciate the quick responses. Now let me get more specific and see if any of you can offer more specific help. I’ll post a series of questions over the next few days that I need help with. Let me know if it’d be more appropriate to post these question to a different topic than Introductions and I’ll move them. I’m a newbie here.

It would be good to find a supportive doctor. 2 replies here have pointed me to an extremely out-of-date list (2007!?) which is completely useless. It lists 2 doctors in my state, listing them both as working for the same counseling center. Well, Googling and phoning reveals neither still works for that counseling center (left so long ago it had never heard of them), and as far I can tell neither still works in this state or anywhere nearby. That counseling center said they now have nobody who can or will treat benzo addiction. Subsequent phone calls to every shrink in the region turned up a series of flat “no”‘s when they heard the problem I wanted help with. This was even after initially promising conversations (“taking new patients?” “yes”, “what problems do you treat” “a great variety of psychiatric problems”). But when benzo addiction came up, it’s like I said a forbidden word… “ah, well, … , no I don’t treat for that”. I was astonished. My own primary care also flat-out refuses to deal with it. Honestly don’t know where to turn at this point, as far as getting it from the medical profession.

OUT OF BODY

Scared Marie joins Colin’s Circus of Terror

Very afraid
« on: April 28, 2015, 05:29:08 pm »

marieonbenzo

Hello,
My name is Marie. I was on ativan for 4 months (2 months at 0.5 then 2 months at 1mg). I tapered for 3 months and I am now on zero (yay!) since 2 weeks. I am also taking Remeron 15 and Anafranil 125. I have always been anxious (I probably also have a personality disorder, borderline or something like that) and have been on different drugs for about half of my adult life. My current problems started last july (2014) when I had severe postpartum depression after a normal pregnancy.

I am joining this forum because I am very afraid. I am feeling horrible recently and I don’t know if it is because of my benzo taper, the other drugs I am taking (the Remeron never agreeed with me but I wanted to wait after my benzo taper to stop it) or if I am going completely crazy this time.

I am feeling anxiety like never before, horrible panic attacks and this feeling like I am losing my mind and like I want to crawl out of my skin. Physically I am ok. I can still do my exercice routine. It is just really hard for me now. I am 36 and through all my years of psy problems I have never felt that bad. I have been reading the forum for a couple of weeks so I thought it was time to take an active part.

thanks for reading.

Benzo addicts develop “taper throat” from years-long Ashton micro-tapers; damage said to be permanent

NIGHTMARE

HEARING SATAN’S VOICE EIGHT MONTHS OFF XANAX

Re: Little disappointed
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2015, 05:37:40 pm »

babyangel

hi good morning Mr rockfan , i hope you slept ok last night mine wasnt so good too much thunder then my phone kept making a weird sound it was warning me about floods i slept in 2 parts the 2nd was at 6 am i feel bad i overslept this morning i always cook alot alot of food for dad to take with him on the road since he’s a trucker i only had some leftoevers there i did feel good accomplishing some work when im kinda like a hoarder a few weeks ago i got a large cabinet that looks like it can hold a tv that someone was throwing away i worked on it last night i had to saw off the lower part of it since it seemed rotted out and wouldnt sit flat like that then i used a nail gun to nail 2 pices of 2×4 on the bottom so theres a gap so the large front doors can open i put it upright and wow it looks great ! i still need to do more work i need to put another coat of paint of “another” thing i got from someone throwing away a small table i plan to put that next to my bed so i can keep a landline phone there my clock, my alarm & cell phone charging after that i need to take a small tire from riding mower to a tire shop i need them to just seperate the rim from the rubber tire theres dry mud between the rubber and rim so it wont hold air they’ll probably take it off for me for just $5 since i been there often in the past to buy cheap used tires for my mustang gt i cant afford the $200 each the new ones cost so the $20 tires there are a bargain if they can last a few years .

i dont feel wel at some times but as you can see i feel very good activating working i feel a good good sense of accomplishment when i see something i finished or when i cook a large meal (im a great cook) , i seem to feel worse if i just sit here at the computer or tv the lights from those bother me im still a little sensitive to lights after quitting xanax 8 months ago. in 2 days it will be 8 months wihtout xanax i still havnt told my mom i quit yet she wories about me alot i mean the world to her i wanted to wait a long long long time so thers no worrys hopefully this will motivate her to go to church with me i really want to go so i can pray and give thanks to the lord for hearing my prayers . i used to feel mad at god curse god those days are over they were around when i was an alcoholic but i shouldnt do this since i heard satan’s voice before it was frigtening

sorry about the long leter mr rockfan, whats your favorite band btw ? mine is led zepplin, eric clapton , type o negative , alice in chains , my current favorite band -song is from the allman brothers – melissa!

its really nice to write to you mr rockfan take care
Katie (babyangel)