Moran’s freak circus claims eating strawberries sends people into fits of rage (yeah, psychotic people)

OMG I ate an apple
« on: March 03, 2015, 01:36:18 pm »


This is actually a major event for me. If I get the munchies I’m the type that usually eats 4 frozen waffles or some other horrible carb but this time I ate an apple.

How do I feel? Like I’m going to barf. Which is keeping me away from the damn waffles. 

Sorry, I had to yell out about my “accomplishment” and I think the neighbors would care even less than BB.

Re: OMG I ate an apple
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2015, 10:00:27 pm »


Senior Moderator

Yippie an apple!!!  

Re: OMG I ate an apple
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2015, 02:14:41 am »


The shock of unprocessed food seems to be a lot for your body. Probably should eat more of those apples. 

Four frozen waffles?? Personally, I go for the cookies!

Re: OMG I ate an apple
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2015, 10:38:02 pm »


Strange how foods, even if healthy, can change the way we feel in a big way. It was strawberries and spinach (not at the same time) that led me to discover my “histamine intolerance”. Imagine eating a strawberry and going into disturbing fits of rage less than a minute later.

Re: OMG I ate an apple
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2015, 01:34:39 am »


I understand completely where you’re coming from.

Nowadays I prefer organic carrots, as the non-organic taste too much like chemicals now.

And sweets like candy? Too damned sweet.

Benzo Buddies freaks tell man facing life-threatening jail cold turkey to read useless cult Bible i.e. the Ashton Manual

Bring on the positive, I'm gonna' need it!
« on: March 21, 2015, 12:54:44 am »



This is my first post. I am a new user to this site and am just looking for someone to reassure me I’m going to make it out alive.

I have been on benzo’s (Xanax) for around 10 or 11 years now (on and off) and am now facing a situation. I was off of them for about 1 year about 1 year ago and placed on another medication. Since then I have put myself back on benzo’s so that I could feel human again. I’ve now been taking them for a little over a year, and will be facing my fears in the next couple of days.

I’ll be facing a sentence of 60 days in jail (solitary, due to my withdraw) do to my own stupidity, which is not important. What is important is that the place I’m going despite my prescription bottle and doctors proof of having to take this drug, aprox. 2mg-2.5 a day, 1mg in morning another 1mg later in the day (unless it wakes me up). This is significantly less that he’s prescribed! They will not allow it in the jail.

This will be a cold turkey withdraw and I know the nightmare I’m going to go through because I’ve tried to get off of these in the past (even w/a taper). I’m scared beyond belief and I, like many of you have lost my family and friends due to anxiety/depression/dependency. Right now I have an ex-girlfriend (who still cares), but I’m not too sure how long before I lose everything.

I’ve been torturing myself by watching youtube videos about this process and I’m scared I’ll wont make it due to my body’s dependency. I’m scared I’ll lose my ex., even know she’s been here through it all (but unfortunately dismisses the withdraw process). I’m scared in general. I want to be off of these but w/o them how do you maintain a residence (if your living alone)? Will any kind of disability recognize this problem? Will I be homeless? Will I survive this?

My ex uses such comforting words like you never know “everyone’s different, maybe your symptoms will not be as difficult as you think”. It feels good to hear these words but soon reality will set in and I desperately need to stay positive.

If my mind is running crazy now… I can’t even imagine. Scared to the core and looking for answers I came across this site. I’m grateful to have found a community like this but I’m tremendously scared of dying in a jail cell. TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN!? They understand my condition and will be monitoring me.

Any reassuring words would be gratefully appreciated. I know, you do the crime you do the time. I’m just afraid right now. Is anyone out there? If so pray for me.

-Thank you!

Re: Bring on the positive, I'm gonna' need it!
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2015, 04:43:30 am »


C/T was a little rough, but you can survive it. Don’t let your fears get the best of you. There are all sorts of horror stories out there about anything that you search the internet for (including benzos). Your withdrawal will be what it is. Read the Ashton manual so that you’re familiar with the possible symptoms. That way you don’t have to worry about the cause for your shaking (it’s the withdrawal). Other than that, try to stay in the present. Stay busy. The time will pass, and you’ll come out two months healed. You may need more time to fully heal, but you will be well on your way.

If therapy or counseling is available (for your anxiety), request it.

Re: Bring on the positive, I'm gonna' need it!
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2015, 11:42:02 am »


Senior Moderator

Hi, DarkOuija.

When do you start your sentence? You may be able to “cushion” the cold turkey a bit by starting a taper and reducing your dose before you have to stop cold turkey.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I’ve done many things I’ve regretted while being on doctor prescribe psych drugs for 30 years.

Like badsocref said, if you can request therapy or counseling, that would be a good idea. It will also look good to the judge, as well as help with documentation if you need to apply for disability.

Benzo Buddies 2

Benzo Buddies member claims to be plagued with vermin 23 months off drugs, doctor calls them imaginary

Ortho Home Defense Max: Bifenthrin Toxicity Causing Symptoms?
« on: March 1, 2015, 10:31:31 pm »


I’m wondering if any of my symptoms, especially the itchy, burning face, the early waking and the morning anxiety, might be caused by exposure to pesticides. Over the past few years I’ve frequently sprayed bifenthrin-based Ortho Home Defense Max around the house because I was constantly getting what I thought were bug bites on my hands and arms. My doctor thought they were benzo-bug-bites, totally imaginary. I’m still not sure. Maybe rats? we’ve had a lot of rats in our wall. I thought I saw them but not so sure now. In any case, there’s been a whole lotta bifenthrin sprayed around my home, especially in the bedrooms. I mean a lot. So I wonder.

I’ve read on RightDiagnosis.com that symptoms of bifenthrin toxicity include:

  • Burning facial sensation
  • Itchy face sensation
  • Tingling face sensation
  • Paresthesia
  • Skin irritation
  • Psychosis
  • Hallucinations

all of which I’ve had, in spades. Of course, I’ve only had the facial sensations since January 2014, while I’ve been spraying the insecticide since 2010. But maybe the toxins build up and the effects are cululative. The Wikipedia article on bifenthrin adds these toxicity symptoms:

hypersensitivity for touch and sound and irritation of the skin and the eyes.

I’ve had a lot of that during the past couple years.

I don’t see anxiety listed as a toxicity symptom, though I’m sure it could be one, since bifenthrin is a pyrethroid, and pyrethroids act on the nervous system. But they are supposed to be relatively nontoxic for humans and other mammals, which is why they’re used in flea and lice shampoos and lotions like Nix and Rid – which I’ve used during the past couple years, to get rid of the “bugs”.

Has anyone here had any direct experience with pyrethroid toxicity, specifically from bifenthrin? Just wondering if that’s at all relevant to my remaining symptoms. I’m 23 months off and I never expected to be having such symptoms at this late date, so I’m looking around for other possible causes.


Rahke’s Ramblings: Big talk from Sicko Flicko before the rat-lover was sent to the Big House for 10 months for dealing

Re: Jetstream's Flight Manual
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2011, 08:45:53 PM »


Quote from: jetstream on October 06, 2011, 08:16:25 PM
Quote from: MarthaKicks on October 06, 2011, 06:35:53 PM

Laird’s good, but I’m a huge fan of Clay Marzo. Check out why:

and he’s just a kid.

That kid is very good, but I want to see him surfing jaws LOL I think I need to ask Colin to set up a special section for surfers and surf lovers. LOL I think it could be called “Surf your way to benzo freedom” We can even post pics and vids of ourselves going down huge waves and “shooting the curl” This is a good approach to transcending the primal fears that got us on benzos to start with.

I think another approach to all this is to call it the “benzo school for enlightenment” once yu get off benzos and heal, you get so happy, you might as well be enlightened “heaven on earth” Or you could try my jetsream approach and get high on pot LOL LOL sorry, though , you have to wait until you are off benzos and pretty well healed before you can try that fast approach. I promise I will save some of my stash for you . good incentive to get off the garbage, eh? peace to all and rapid healing Jetstream

Hello Jetstream,

We typically allow some latitude in Buddie Blogs for members to discuss their lives and likes, however your comments are unwelcome. Marijuana is still illegal in most of the world and your comments of supplying it to others as incentive for getting off of benzo’s sounds like intent to distribute. I realize you may be just having some fun, but please refrain from making comments such as this again.


Re: Jetstream's Flight Manual
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2011, 09:46:18 PM »


Wow, Pamster, you need to develop a sense of humor. My last reference to marijuana here was very obviously a total joke. yu might try to read the entire post , although it is so short , I cannot imagine you did not read it. Humor is an excellent quality to develop whilst in benzo w/d. I would have thought a long time benzo admin like you would have figured that out by now LOL

Furthermore, LOL marijuana is completely legal in California these daysban. I buy it legally in medical dispensaries and I also have always vociferously recommended against using it in tapering or benzo w/d. Now do you get it? peace to all Jetstream

So , if you so choose, I will gladly accept a ban for my sense of humor no problemo. that is if you really think I am as “evil” as the “dark force ” you recently extricated from your forum. Am I that evil? LOL

Meanwhile I hope I can post another surf vid without getting a harsh reprimand . can I? thank you .

I think this girl must be the surfer girl referred to in the Beach Boys hit song “Little Surfer Girl” now , please guys, do not get too turned on by this. too much stimulation in w/d is not healthy LOL and she is young enough to be your daughter{or grandaughter in my case LOL}

Whoops I will post it in my next post