Addict follows benzo cult guru Ashton into oblivion

Please help spatial awareness disorientation issues
« on: April 03, 2021, 08:32:56 am »

[Buddie]

Hi I’m new here
I’m feeling so distressed. I feel like I Search and Search but can’t find my exact symptoms.
I’m wondering if anyone who has spatial awareness issues can tell me what they experience.
I’m finding it so hard to put into words what I’m experiencing but basically everything feels off centre.
I can’t comprehend straight walls i over think everything and I feel disoriented. And try and square things off almost. I have only left the house a handful of times the last few months and when I do the roads feel off like they should go more to the left or right. Like the direction is slightly off.
I’m finding this so unbearable has anyone experienced these symptoms
I feel like I’m going crazy.
I tapered from diazepam Using Ashton method but these symptoms have worsened since weaning off propranolol.
I just can’t seem to get my mind to stop overthinking about this
Please help
Much love

Addict rejects doctors, family, work, therapist in favor of doctor-bashing cult

They Dont Believe Me
« on: March 31, 2021, 03:27:24 pm »

[Buddie]

Nearing completion of my 4th month. Things have just gone down hill this month with no windows. Waves to severe waves have consumed me, my family, my work, my therapist and my doctors.

I am starting to see cracks in support. People dont believe me when I say there are no drugs to fix this. Everyone wants me to take SSRI’s and/or other drugs. They see me in so much pain and dont know what to do so they go to what they know – drugs. It is frustrating. I tell them what I need when they ask – to tell me I am healing and it will get better. I am not sure they believe me when I say that is the support I need.

All of them keep asking ‘what do the ‘expert doctors’ recommend.’ They tell me not to rely on the internet or message boards. I keep telling them the doctors dont understand and that I am doing the right thing. I just need them to support me and provide reassurance that I am healing.

I am looking for concise but thorough documentation to help show them what I am going through and what I need. I tried to show them a book but it was too long. I showed them letters from others that made it through but they say it is not from an expert. Is there anything out there that is just right. That I can point to and say here – read this 4 page document. It will tell you what I am going through and more importantly what I need. That no medication or intervention will help other than time, distraction and positivity.

Please help.

Benzo Buddies censorship? What’s happening?

Re: In defense of Baylissa
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2021, 06:07:18 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on April 01, 2021, 05:41:20 pm
Baylissa tried to sign on with her real name and was asked by a moderator to change the username to something less identifying! She posted proof of this to her FB group. I saw the ticket about the name change. There was no intent to deceive here, simply her desire to come online and correct what she saw as misinformation about her practice.

^^^^^ … Yes, this.

It’s bizarre that almost the entire ‘Benzo Community’ knows this, except the very people that dealt with Baylissa’s application to join the BB forum don’t… The BB ‘Admin Team’ lead by Colin.

Something’s very wrong somewhere in the ‘Admin Team Communication Department’, that’s for sure… and it isn’t over at the ‘Bloom In Wellness’ office.

It’s right here… right here in this one.

Taper damage permanent?

How do you keep hope alive of recovery after 26 months?
« on: March 26, 2021, 08:53:25 am »

[Buddie]

Just struggling to keep hope alive will fully recover after 26 months off zop. Extreme mental symptoms, OCD type symptoms, anxiety, has only been really bad for 17 months after disasterous experiment with anti depressants. Am going through massive wave at moment due to family treating me like total crap which isn’t helping so feel like in I’m in acute. Even prior to that never had window or seemed to ever move forward or symptoms actually disappear. Trying desperately not get into mindset this is permanent but longer it goes on the more thoughts keep slipping in that might have to adjust to different life in the future. Everyone here making plans for when lockdown eases, whereas that’s impossible to even think about for me.

Taper terror: 5 mg of Versed for colonoscopy causes complete collapse

MAJOR REASSURANCE NEEDED!!!
« on: March 07, 2021, 11:34:50 pm »

[Buddie]

I need major reassurance!
I’ve been having a hard time lately, a very hard time.
As some of you may know I’ve been struggling to get off a very short time use of Ativan.

Following a colonoscopy in late Oct, where I was given Versed, things have been very bad.
I can’t remember anything, I can’t concentrate, lots of visual and auditory problems.
I also have lots of POTS like symptoms, my body is not holding onto liquids at all, I drink and it goes right through me-literally!!!
Given this, I’m getting tons of dizziness and feeling faint.

I moved to liquid Ativan in Jan and have only been able to taper down to 0.699 mg, and that nearly killed me.

I’m having to file for long-term disability, as my short-term disability has been used up.
I can’t even fill out the paperwork, that’s how cognitively challenged I am (I have a masters degree in engineering and run half of the engineering department for a large municipality – so I’m normally very sharp and with it).

I just found out that the Dr at the colonoscopy gave me 5 mg of Versed!!!

This is why I’ve been the way I am.
I’m now convinced that I will never heal, and I also am feeling very defeated, like I will never be able to get off this drug.

At first I was tapering 0.007 mg a day, I crashed and burned on that, waited two weeks and started 0.001 mg per day and crashed on that after 16 days. I can’t even go 0.001 mg per day!!!!

I feel like my body is shutting down, it feels like my brain is not working at all correctly anymore?
During the day it feels as if I’m fighting to stay alive – very weird feeling.
I do have a bunch of tests coming up to see if they can determine a problem

I don’t know anyone else on this board that has had this happen!!

I need major reassurance that I’m going to be able to recover from this!!

I wake up in the middle of the night screaming in pain from the headaches!

Please, please someone, tell me this is going to be ok!!!

I’m very distressed, I don’t want to die from this, I don’t want to leave my girls!

I can’t take years to get off this drug!!
It feels like it is killing me now!

Please help!!!

Winnie :'(

Doctor tells cult member they’ve likely developed psychosis from being brainwashed

“Psychotic”
« on: February 03, 2021, 06:41:06 pm »

[Buddie]

I was told today that I might be psychotic (by a mental health professional) because of “[my] delusional beliefs about benzodiazepines causing problems now after such a long time.”

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I may do both.

Kooks come up with new disease – benzo flu – and wonder if it’s Covid

Benzo Flu or Covid??
« on: January 10, 2021, 08:00:29 am »

[Buddie]

Hi Everyone,

I’m nearly a year off – yay!!!! I’ve had 3 COVID tests whilst being in withdrawal & all have been negative – I’ve put it down to Benzo flu, I’ve gotten slogged this week with super stressful stuff (identity theft & subsequently had to prove the $5,000 telephone bill
Wasn’t mine, car broke down etc) & Saturday morning I woke up with a super sore throat & flu like symptoms.

Withdrawal in the time of COVID ain’t no fun at all. How do you deferentiate between Benzo flu or if it’s a virus or COVID? I’ve been going for COVID tests to rule out COVID but does anyone have any ideas how to determine if it’s Benzo flu without going for a test? I have a sore throat that comes & goes so I’m leaning towards it’s Benzo Flu.

Almost one year since I jumped. I’m praying/pleading/begging that this will
All he over soon and I can have my mind, body & soul back. Lord only knows how I’ve come this far but some how I have. Thanks for your support & feedback.

Re: Benzo Flu or Covid??
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2021, 09:43:36 am »

[Buddie]

I thought I had a bad luck, but you’re probably the unluckiest member of BB… I don’t think there’s a way to know if it’s benzo flu or real deal unless you test for viruses.

Re: Benzo Flu or Covid??
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2021, 04:43:40 pm »

[Buddie]

Benzo flu tricked me into getting tested in Nov and the test was negative.

However, I did get covid in Dec for real – you will know the difference if you get the full symptoms.

I survived and am back to my “benzo functional” again:) I am thankful.