MORGUE

Cult leader counts dead to inflate membership rolls

Benzo Buddies has several hundred active members – not 16,000; see the following 2012 analysis of the cult’s membership rolls.

As of April 2012, out of 6819 registered members, 2070 had not made a single post, an additional 2610 had under 10 posts, for a total of 4680 who had no real participation – by 2015 it is likely much worse.

2012 Benzo Buddies membership numbers:

  • 69 pages x 30 members per page = 2070 members with 0 posts
  • 87 pages x 30 members per page = 2610 members with under 10 posts (a combined 4680 members with under 10 posts)
  • 35 pages x 30 members per page = 1050 members with under 50 posts (a combined 5730 members with under 50 posts)

5730 members who did not participate at Benzo Buddies in any way, shape, or form – i.e. the overwhelming majority of the 2012 membership. Any idea there are 16,000 is pure delusion – likely fed by mental illness.

Cult daredevil implicated in alleged Silk Road/Benzo Buddies illegal drug sales racket flees scene after doxxing himself

Wtf is this shit? Some guy running a website talking about me buying stuff from SR?

http://no.reddit.com/r/DarkNetMarkets/comments/2rltd4/wtf_is_this_shit_some_guy_running_a_website/

Were Benzo Buddies members using Silk Road to illegally buy prescription drugs?
http://cesspoolofmadness.com/?p=73183

How does someone with electrophobia use a computer?

I can't live with this fear of electricity anymore please help me
« on: December 27, 2014, 08:55:11 am »

gingging

Hi please help me someone.

I was prescribed lorazepam for a nasty fear of electricity in 2004 and it worked great for 6years until I reached tolerance at 9mg and had to withdraw.

I suffered with severe anxiety for 18 months and my fear of electricity returned but I managed to conquer it with exposure therapy. I still had very high anxiety so my doctor reinstated me on 30mg diazepam per day. This did nothing to help and he then told me to wean off it 5mg a month and when I got to 7.5mg he told me to just stop taking it.

I did what he said and now believe I am in a severe withdrawal syndrome but the most distressing thing is that the fear of electricity has returned at a more intense level than before the lorazepam and it is not responding to therapy this time.

I am very scared about this and wondered if anyone has any idea whether the withdrawal could be contributing to this worsening of fear in any way?

Why can’t I conquer it again I have been trying so hard? I am terrified that this fear is not going to get better and that I will have to live without electricity in my life. This would be unbearable, I will not be able to live a normal life.

Please help me someone I am desperate for hope.

I hope someone will reply
Thank you.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2014, 11:15:06 am by gingging »

Re: I can't live with this fear of electricity anymore
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2014, 10:13:18 am »

gingging

Please help someone please reply

FEAR OF ELECTRICITY

FEAR OF ELECTRICITY

intrusive memories post withdrawal anyone?
« on: December 28, 2014, 05:49:42 pm »

gingging

I have decided to start a thread on intrusive thoughts as a good buddy of mine on here suggested that’s what might be happening to me.

I convinced myself in 2004 that I had a disorder called “Electro Sensitivity” this is a rare condition where some poor souls get unpleasant symptoms from electrical appliances.

I know of one woman who lived in a caravan in a farmers field to get away from the electricity.

Anyway I had some of the symptoms of this condition in 2004 and convinced myself I had it and started to avoid electrical appliances as much as possible.

We switched the electric off for 6 months and lived with candles and gas. My doc gave me lorazepam to cope with this lifestyle and I soon forgot about this illness and realised I didn’t have it at all (I had been in electricity for 30 years it had never harmed me). I carried on with normal life and forgot all about it.

I stayed on the lorazepam for 6 years until I reached tolerance at 9mg per day and had to withdraw. I went through withdrawal anxiety and the memories of the electro sensitivity returned and I felt very fearful of electrical appliances again. I managed to conquer this fear with exposure therapy and it went away again.

After being off lorazepam for 18 months my doc reinstated me on 30mg diazepam per day for withdrawal symptoms (not electric that had gone). The diazepam did nothing to help and he told me to withdraw 5mg a month and jump off at 7.5mg. I did as he said and now believe I am in a severe withdrawal syndrome (much worse than the lorazepam withdrawal) and the memory and fear of electricity has returned again at a much more intense level than ever.

I have been thinking about this as a phobia returning due to the absence of the drug or the rebound effect, but I now wonder could my buddie be right could this be intrusive memories and thoughts caused by withdrawal. Maybe the exposure therapy didn’t help last time? Maybe the intrusive thoughts and memories got better as withdrawal progressed.

I would love to hear from anyone who has any views on this or from anyone who has maybe gone through something similar (I doubt anyone else was afraid of electricity) but anything else that has bad memories or fears come back during withdrawal and that has got well again I would really appreciate hearing from you.

I know I have posted this story on lots of forums but I want as many replies as possible. I really need the hope.

Sorry for such a long post. There is a lot to tell.

Many thanks reading
ginging

Re: intrusive memories post withdrawal anyone?
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2014, 06:27:16 pm »

gingging

I am hoping that someone who has or has had intrusive thoughts can answer this post.

In special holiday message cult guru thanks sheep for allowing him to brainwash them

Re: A BIG THANK YOU TO COLIN, ADMINS, & MODS
 « Reply #6 on: December 26, 2014, 08:33:30 pm »

Colin

Thank you, […], for your kind words, and season’s greetings to all!

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 25, 2014, 08:33:06 pm
p.s. i was wondering how it all started with the BB forum?????   

i think […] must have been alone at the very beginning supervising his website?
also i think that very first moderators and admin are now gone into normal life  ?

Actually, I was not alone. I posted a little about it on 10-year anniversary:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=116947.0

I could not have done it without Julie and Jan, and the help of all the team members since then.

Benzo Buddies maniacs push “Ethical Suicide Parlors”


This euthanasia device was invented by Dr Philip Nitschke. Four terminally-ill Australians used it to end their lives with a lethal dose of drugs after they answered “yes” to a series of questions on the lap-top screen. This procedure was legal in Australia’s Northern Territory between 1995 and 1997.

Ethical Suicide Parlors
« on: December 27, 2014, 05:47:07 pm »

Neshama

I think there should be an ethical suicide parlor in every city so people like me don’t have to live in hell any more. Life is not worth living. Kurt Vonnegut had it right. Watch a movie, relax, die. What could be better. Maybe a guillotine at every hospital courtyard. I would do it in a heartbeat right in front of the hospital that threw me out and refused cancer treatment. I want my blood and brains all around their little fountain area just outside the cafeteria. I want my brains splattered all over the glass windows. My true wish is that the doctor would come with me. She is killing others right this minute and she does not care in the least. I am the abusive one. That is my ideal setting. Then I will have a sign that says: Lorazepam and my oncologist and this hospital have killed me with indifference and ignorance. Why live? The future is more cancer. I have watched people die of cancer. I know what is ahead. Why try to withdraw from benzos when I am already dead? My brain is dead. My life is dead. I will not go anywhere or speak to anyone. 5 years is a miracle for my cancer. I have lost two of the years to lorazepam torture. I have no friends or family any more. I no longer speak to my husband. He never did anything all those months I was laying in bed in hell. I have wanted to die every day for two years. Why live? No one believes me. I am just a crazy old woman who should die and quit causing the poor hospitals problems. There will never be reform because the god of capitalists is money. I am not worth anything dead. They can’t make more money off my body. Thousands of dollars of unnecessary testing because the hospital is run by the medical equipment guys and drug reps. They never cared about us. They care about the perks and profits. The Hippocratic Oath is really the Hypocritic’s Oath. It is when they use the words caring and compassion in the ads that really makes me puke.