Hopheads substitute Hershey bar binges for handfuls of pills

« on: March 08, 2015, 09:44:17 pm »

one year

Am I( the only one?

I love all of the support and thank you everyone for the guidance. However, I often feel isolated because I can’t find stories like mine. I know that benzo withdrawal can be hard for anyone. Every success is a huge victory for all of us.

But when I talk about my abuse of Xanax, people often think I’ve hit a typo when I say that after 14 years I was a hard-core addict taking up to 30 (thirty) mg. of Xanax a day. One of the badges I’ll wear for the rest of my life is that I have 15% necrosis (tissue death) in my left kidney. How did I wake up some days? Ritalin of course. What did I do for pain? I needed lots of dental work and I’d see my dentist for a root canal to get 10 day scripts of narcotics to east the WD when I was out of benzos. I still have dreams and nightmares about other times in my life with absolute clarity and remember specific things about people and things I haven’t thought about in 30 years and could have never remembered. It’s like my brain is re-living my entire pre-benzo life.

My success is that I was able to taper down to 6 mg. a day myself but when I felt very ill I went into inpatient without a seizure. When I first went into inpatient I was almost transferred to the ICU because my potassium and sodium levels were so low. I have been out of inpatient for a year now, and am still on a slow taper of Klonopin. I am struggling big time with compliance with my taper. It’s a daily fight for me.

Am I the only one? I feel; lonely at times. I’m hoping to find others coming from similar situations. I am thankful I’m alive, but please tell me I’m not the only one! I could use some company . . .
« Last Edit: March 08, 2015, 11:06:28 pm by one year »

« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2015, 03:21:13 am »

Bad choices

You are not the only one. My tale is one that started with a drs script but ended with myself overusing, dr shopping, buying off the internet and taking it all into my own hands.

I am now on a medically supervised taper but cannot pretend to be an accidental addict.

I have access to ritalin and every day I want to take some, but I don’t as I know they test for that with random drug tests and I can’t afford to lose my license. I also struggle staying within the limits of my taper. Each day I have to force myself not to cheat. I don’t and wonder often how I dont, I want to drink but don’t and every night wonder how, and every morning am glad I’m not facing the double whammy of a hangover with the desire to take more pills.

I doubt very much that an extra pill (or even a few) would help, but it doesn’t defeat the urge.

I do eat sugar, chocolate and fried foods, naughty I know but whilst forcing myself not to succumb to all the things mentioned before it feels like the least of my worries. I’m naturally skinny, maybe when I start getting a bulge from my bad food choices I might change my thinking. But the chocolate is something I eat when I wake in the middle of the night which is often, so no matter how much I mean well during the day it is always compromised with my half asleep reach for a mini Hershey’s.

You are not alone, but I know how you feel. And I often feel alone feeling it.

Benzo Buddies unveils “chew necklaces” to soothe nerves during years-long micro-tapers

Buddies get a chew necklace for that special micro-tapering friend

  • Safe and discreet, for the need to CHEW during your benzo taper
  • Made from 100% silicone. Lead, latex, BPA, PVC and phthalate free (no TOXIC pharm chemicals that would cause nasty waves)
  • A full 1/2″ thick! – A rigid chew for stronger chewers going through BENZO withdrawal
  • Adjustable length cord with break-away clasp for safety (just in case you pass out from one too many RESCUE doses)
  • Clasp is NOT intended for chewing, as it contains small parts and may be a choking hazard
  • Baylissa approved (NAMASTE)

Latest victim brainwashed into rejecting doctor’s advice, foregoing medication that could have saved his life

Would Damon still be alive if he had taken the antidepressant his doctor offered him? Many believe he would.
2:00 Damon tells us he was offered medication – that would have helped with his depression – but thanks to the cult’s brainwashing he refused it.
2:28 Damon says he’s lost all friends but those in the pro-Scientology cult.
2:50 Damon tells of losing interest in everything but the “benzo recovery group” i.e. cult.
3:30 Damon talks about going on a crusade against Big Pharma (my guess is that this crusade consists of spewing hate and threats toward doctors on Facebook and/or Benzo Buddies and nothing else).
Cult brainwashing murdered this man not Big Pharma.
RIP Damon