TERROR AT TESCO

I went to TESCO today!
« on: January 02, 2018, 05:19:06 pm »

[Buddie]

In the car!! By myself!!!

I haven’t been able to go there to do any shopping at all for months and the whole ‘online shopping and getting someone to get bits and pieces in between’ has become so stressful I decided that was one of the first things I was going to try and do when I felt stronger.

Last night I had a better sleep and felt half-decent after lunch so decided to have a go.  I haven’t been able to drive on the main roads outwith the housing estate but thankfully TESCO is about 10-15 minutes away from the house but still within the estate.  However even if I get there, I can’t go in the normal way because there are traffic lights and I seem to freak out if I get ‘trapped’ anywhere like a queue or a busy roundabout or lights.  And then I figured out I could maybe park in the staff car park round the back which is reached via a side street before the main entrance to TESCO and means I don’t have to negotiate any traffic lights at all so that’s what I did today.  And then did a LOT of deep breathing in order to get out of the car and make it to the front entrance!

But make it I did.  I grabbed two filled rolls, two salads and 4 yoghurts, saw an empty checkout and tried not to hyperventilate going through it.  There was a Holland and Barrett shop in the same complex so I popped in there afterwards and got some papaya and pineapple as a snack treat then stopped at the cash machine on the way back to the car to get money out as well.  Three things I would have had to ask someone to do for me normally.

And I discovered the other good thing about the staff car park is that it’s pretty quiet so I was able to give a whoop of delight when I got back to the car without any men in white coats appearing to take me somewhere padded :laugh:

And then I took the car for a 10 minute run which involved going onto one of the main roads which did produce a mild panic attack but I was able to calm myself down once I turned off into a side street.

Now that’s a big deal for me because whenever the panic has started before when I’ve done something like that, it’s always just got worse and worse and no amount of breathing exercises or calming strategies have worked in the slightest.  As you can imagine, being the driver in a car when that happens and still having to have a 20 minute journey to get back home makes that a frightening experience and results in eventual avoidance.  So the fact that I seem to now be able to become calmer while still IN the car says to me that my brain is very definitely healing and reduces the terrible fear factor somewhat.  Well it reduces it in theory ……  ;D

Once home, I popped the shopping in the fridge and took myself off for a walk to celebrate.  Possibly being the only human being on the streets, it being a very wet and windy afternoon but you know how it is – you feel better and you just want to do some ‘normal’ stuff for a change.

I was able to go much further away from the house than I normally do although timewise my walk was only 5 minutes longer than yesterday’s but it was much more of a WALK if you know what I mean.  Yesterday I was tootling around the lanes and paths very close to my house and eking out the walk to give me a decent time – today I was properly walking on the pavements at a good pace and being ‘normal’ tired rather than ‘scared’ tired.

Which of course means I am now knackered, feel terrible and could go off to bed right this minute!! :laugh:

Still it’s nice to put a tick (for a window) in the notebook where I’m keeping track of what I take and how I feel on a daily basis instead of a cross because there’s been somewhat of an abundance of crosses lately :-\

Good start to the year eh?

Kooks howl as Professor of Nursing claims sites like Benzo Buddies are full of people with borderline personality disorder

False Charge: BB Is Full of People with BPD
« on: December 26, 2017, 10:20:24 pm »

[Buddie]

I have a psych nurse friend who is convinced that online forums, such as BB, are full of people with borderline personality disorders implying that they (the forums) should be avoided. She is a professor of nursing at a highly prestigious university’s graduate school of nursing and has a Post Masters in Psych-Mental Health Nursing. She teaches graduate and doctoral students in that same program.

She has also made statements such as, “You may need to be on psych meds the rest of your life like a diabetic needs insulin.” As we know, these are statements that those in the uninformed medical community make when they are not educated about the risks of psych meds, having drunk the Kool-Aid of Big Pharma.

Is there any information I can use to counter this claim of “forums are full of people with BPD”?

Kooks add soy sauce, sushi, olives with (or without) garlic, MSG to list of forbidden foods

Soy Sauce????
« on: December 24, 2017, 04:45:50 pm »

[Buddie]

I was reading about “kindling”. It talked about the overproduction of glutamate. Soy sauce has glutamate. I ate sushi last night with tamari & this morning had a bad episode of symptoms (weak & shaky legs, distended stomach, blurry vision). Any correlation??

Re: Soy Sauce????
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2017, 05:29:33 pm »

[Buddie]

No clue I ate some green olives with garlic and immediately had issues be I don’t know why

Re: Soy Sauce????
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2017, 06:30:52 pm »

[Buddie]

Tons of MSG in both Sushi at a lot of places, and soy sauce, which also contributes to glutamate.

Re: Soy Sauce????
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2017, 04:30:53 am »

[Buddie]

MSG is a major trigger for many people during withdrawal, and soy sauce is really high in it. Yes, there is definitely a correlation between MSG and waves.

Re: Soy Sauce????
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2017, 06:26:14 am »

[Buddie]

Absolutely! Even now, almost 10 months off, if I were to consume soy sauce, it would get real ugly, real fast.

Benzo Buddies a haven for marijuana addicts

Mary Jane and Benzo Withdrawal
« on: December 26, 2017, 04:41:52 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi I am looking for some reail information on this subject of marijuana and benzo withdrawal. Medical marijuana and marijuana in general is legal where I live. I really don’t care to hear crap from people who are rigid and uptight and grew up thinking that weed was bad. Marijuana is no worse than alcohol so anyone that feels otherwise please don’t comment. I hate the close-mindedness of that kind of crap.

Re: Mary Jane and Benzo Withdrawal
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2017, 04:44:02 pm »

[Buddie]

And one other quick thing if anyone of us was prescribed marijuana instead of benzos we wouldn’t have this problem right now that we all have.

Re: Mary Jane and Benzo Withdrawal
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2017, 04:47:42 pm »

[Buddie]

I was wondering this, too. I have cbd hemp oil and have read it’s great for anxiety. But I have also read that you can’t take it with antidepressants. Weed is a beneficial for lots of things! My husband swears by it and up until 4 months ago, I smoked like a chimney.

Re: Mary Jane and Benzo Withdrawal
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2017, 04:49:24 pm »

[Buddie]

Found this for starters:

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/801982-CBD-for-anxiety-benzo-withdrawal

Re: Mary Jane and Benzo Withdrawal
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2017, 04:55:15 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 26, 2017, 04:47:42 pm
I was wondering this, too. I have cbd hemp oil and have read it’s great for anxiety. But I have also read that you can’t take it with antidepressants. Weed is a beneficial for lots of things! My husband swears by it and up until 4 months ago, I smoked like a chimney.

[…]

I’ll bet the right kind of weed obtained from a medical dispensary could really help us. I have smoked marijuana before in the past and it has been very relaxing. Personally I would rather take the edible type than ingest smoke into my lungs. I wish there was more research done on this subject because I think for open-minded people this would help a great deal.

Luckily I live in a part of the United States where medical marijuana is legal and marijuana has also just become legal.

Benzos and other psychiatric drugs are far worse than alcohol or marijuana. I think of them more like an LSD type of drug. So nobody should sit in judgment of somebody that wants to smoke a little weed if they are popping pills. I ended up on these shity pills because a doctor recommended it for me for job stress back in the 1990’s. I wish she told me to run or do yoga or to smoke weed instead. If that was the case I wouldn’t be having these problems right now.

MASS HYSTERIA CAUSES BENZO BUDDIES BENZO BELLY OUTBREAK

I think My belly is gonna explode
« on: November 20, 2017, 08:52:42 pm »

[Buddie]

17 months i cant believe My belly is feeling more than pregnant it feels like its gonna explode….no matter what i did to get it better it hurts severe does this ever Gets better? 
Someone had this,this far out??

Re: I think My belly is gonna explode
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2017, 09:03:54 pm »

[Buddie]

My belly is sometimes filled of air very quickly like if it was an airbag blow in a crash ….

Re: I think My belly is gonna explode
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2017, 11:34:50 pm »

[Buddie]

Yep, 16.5 months off and still get a swollen belly during waves.

Re: I think My belly is gonna explode
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2017, 11:42:22 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m 16 months and have intense abdominal pressure and pain as I type this! Ugh!

Re: I think My belly is gonna explode
 « Reply #4 on: November 21, 2017, 04:56:48 am »

[Buddie]

20 months off in a week, and still dealing with this on and off. Tonight I feel like a bloated wood tick, tomorrow I could me flat Stanley again. It’s weird.

Re: I think My belly is gonna explode
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2017, 05:16:57 am »

[Buddie]

mine never goes away its severe and its not that i am fat its sticks out immensly……….it even hurts my back.
all this shit is for life lets be honest here

Cult leader bars members from meeting, or even talking about it

An In-Person Support Group
« on: October 31, 2017, 04:49:37 pm »

[Buddie]

I have heard of these for us, I am remembering now as I type this out. How do we get more going, what is the protocol?

Any thoughts…? Thanks ahead of time.

(I’d like to start one in my area, maybe for victims of pharmaceutical violence in general. I’m only in the thinking and planning stages though.)

Re: An In-Person Support Group
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2017, 04:59:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Well I just saw that we aren’t supposed to even mention or talk about this in general. I can’t delete my own post though, I have found.

I don’t see the harm in discussing this and being non-specific about location, kind of a depressing rule if you ask me.

Benzo Buddies: Flea spray affects GABA

Please help, desperate, got fleas in house but flea spray affects GABA
« on: August 08, 2017, 09:50:04 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello

My friend brought his dog in my flat and the dog has left fleas, ive been bitten.
I’ve tried vaccumming, but I am so depressed and anxious and stressed about other things including withdrawal that I only have the energy to vaccuumm part of a room a day, ,whereas to get rid of the fleas, eggs and larvae you either have to vaccuum every day for a week or use flea spray with insect growth regulator in.
The problem with these substances is that they all have chemicals in which, on doing research, affect gaba in a bad way, I wont ramble.
I even tried to find a respirator online so that I did not breathe in any of the vapours, but there is so much choice that I am totally confused as to which respirator to buy to prevent me inhaling the fumes of the flea spray, as you have to keep windows shut while it works when you spray.
Has anyone ever used any of the strong flea sprays in withdrawal?
Did they react with you in a bad way?
I am desperate to hear of anyone’s experience with these flea sprays, they worked for me when i wasnt on valium but I am scared to use them given what I have read online about them interacting with GABA.
Thanks

Renegade member accuses Benzo Buddies of being a cult

Re: Mclean's Hospital Boston MA
« Reply #53 on: July 25, 2017, 04:46:11 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 25, 2017, 02:48:46 pm
Quote from: [Buddie] on July 25, 2017, 02:26:48 pm
I am just looking for a doctor or two to help me in my journey with this challenging problem.

I think people on this thread are reading a lot of their own experiences into a very benign internet article.

The link you posted is not a benign internet article.

It is a sales pitch from McLean Hospital. Please reread it.

http://www.mcleanhospital.org/news/2016/08/02/tapering-addictive-therapies

[…],

Really?? It’s just an article. Not advertised on Twitter or YouTube or anything else.

Just a stupid article that I had to dig to find for after numerous upon numerous attempts on Google search.

I already talked to a doctor there that said you shouldn’t do more that a cut of 10% and that you can do liquid titration.

People here are a little overboard. Now I can see where the claims that this place is a cult are coming from (probably some upset ex-members).

The article does not say it’s going to be easy. Please show me where that is implied.

Oy vay! I’m starting to think this is a misery loves company forum and I really just came here for some help — not to be talked in to more symptoms than I already have.

Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 04:58:52 pm by [Buddie] »

FLICKO THE SICKO

Flick was a rather colorful member of benzowithdrawal.com and benzobuddies.org (he would lated be banned). As readers can see, from his cannabis-fueled ramblings below, Flick was crazy, and deeply involved in cults, long before he ever took a benzo, or heard of Ashton…

Nice post NC it’s good to feel that connection with Spirit, wherever it comes from. Personally maybe I will get into a bit of “head” stuff here myself, since I am a man after all. I find it interesting that the three biggest teachers in my life of spirituality died in the past year. Maharishi, Sri Chinmoy, and Adi Da. I learned the TM thing when I was 22 and strung out on hard drugs and could not quit them. The TM worked for me. I did it for years. Now there is a lot of controversy around Maharishi too, like maybe he approache Mia Farrow sexually, but that has pretty much been debunked now. Certainly there has been a kind of “cult” grown up around him and the “yogic flying” seems pretty silly. Still TM saved my life and Maharishi and his teachings have been very beneficial to many. I can’t find fault with his ideal of “world peace” through the vehicle of many people meditating. Now it is is easy for the doubt mind to debunk anything “spiritual” and always throw out the baby with the bath water.

When I was a young ballet dancer in New York, I went to an intro with Sri Chinmoy and this was my first experience of a transmission guru. I felt an intense descending light and bliss in his personal company and also meditatiing on his photo. I became a disciple and wore all white and tried to be celibate and hung out with Carlos Santana and John McGlauphlin who were also disciples. Now I could not handle the sort of strictness with that guru and the two musicians also left in their own time, but that does not devalue Sri Chinmoy or his group in any way. he was very respected in the United Nations did some cool yogic tricks with lifting weights and so forth. His transmission was very real and quite blissful also. Also is was pretty cultic around him , as it always is around a charismatic transmission guru. people like to feel blissful.

I came across Adi Da in 1975 in New York when I heard “Garbage and the Goddess” on WBAI radio “IN the Spirit” by lex Hixon. I had a bad flu and was so moved by Da’s laughter, that I had a sudden and spontaneous lifting of the flu. I read the KOL and saw a “A diffiicult Man” and went to California to join the community. This was the only time I have every felt actual transmission from a book. I felt it in all of Adi Da’s books. For most people, including myself, a relationship with Adi Da is a mixed bag. I felt incredible light and clear and conscious bliss and also states of non separation or “non duality” around him just like he always described in his books. There was always a hard edge to being a disciple of his though. And a certain sort of “darkness” , but I would not necessarily say it is the community’s darkness or Adi Da’s darkness. We all have our dark side and I tend toward depression and fear myself. This is a pretty weird life. Of course Adi Da was not your usual teacher or guru. I know people who were around him in the inner stuff and some feel bad about it and others feel just fine. I never was around the inner stuff and only got the “trickle down” Some people say they were hurt. I don’t know any of them personally except for a couple ahnd they are both still very angry. So everyone who was ever with Adi Da is still trying to figure the whole thing out. many play the “gotcha” game and he is easy to play this game with because of his controversial activities. I think it is a good thing to call out abuses in any arena , whether it be political or spiritual. I would say that George Bush has dwarfed any guru in history with his abuse of the whole world . So is goes round and round and we always feel abused by life itself. But Adi Da has passed now, and people are still so angry that they are beating a dead corpse. Wow I would check out this anger thing.

I am pretty versed in the Traditions since I have studied extensively in Buddhism and under Tibetan lamas and also zen and vipassana. These are real practicing schools. I have never been much attracted to the Ramana lineage myself , partially because it can be pretty mental and I have seen the circus that Poonjaji created by creating all these mini gurus like Andrew Cohen and Gangaji, both of which I have seen and I feel to be real “talking school” so to speak, Just my opinion and preference,

But many love Ramana Maharshi and also Sri Nisardagatta and I respect that for their practice with their teachings. There is certainly and incredible radiance coming off the photos of Ramana and this is not to be discounted. I feel that your really can tell something about a teacher by their photo. This is an intuitive matter and not a mental one.

I have also spent quite a bit of tiime around Ammachi , the hugging saint, and there is a very strong transmission with her too. Of course, many people debunk her too. And certainly it is somewhat “cultic” around her. So what .

I gave lots of money to Adi Dam and to Adi Da personally although it was all underground. I am pretty broke now , but i do not regret it . I felt good about it at the time and felt like i was doing some good with my money rather than hoarding something that never really belongs to you to start with. Generosity is a founding principle of Buddhism. Money comes and goes, and we are closer to death every moment, Flick Rahke

https://nonduality.org/2008/11/28/adi-da-is-dead/#comment-1175

Kooks complain reputation of being lunatics impossible to shake, decry lack of progress against Big Pharma

I am told cult members are trying to figure out how to be activists i.e. doctor-bashing nutcases and not appear insane doing so.

Good luck.