VA cutting off beer-guzzling 25-year Xanax addict

25 YEARS ON XANAX
« on: September 04, 2017, 04:05:35 pm »

[Buddie]

I have been on Xanax for about 25 years. Dosages as high as 4.5 mg a day years ago to down to .5 mg a day (and up and down over the years). Currently on.5 mg a day and tapering (i hope). The V.A. is trying to get people off of the Benzos I think because of a (perhaps) causal link to dementia. The Dr has added hydroxyzine on a trial basis starting at 20mg a day….we will see. My primary symptom was dizziness along with (at times) heart palpitations. Before Xanax I was self medicating with beer, up to 12 cans a day. The symtoms would be constant for months and then go away for months…I haven’t figured out what might have triggered the symptoms in that long ago time. They gave me a CAT scan with (happily) negative results ( in about 1987 or so). And then gave me some Halzion to help with sleep. I found that by taking the Halzion in the daytime my symptoms went away almost immediately! Anyhow because Hazion was not for anxiety per se, they went to Xanax. This in spite of the fact I didn’t have to take the halzion on a constant basis, but only as the symptoms showed up. (Dr.s always know best, of course, they are “M.D.s”……Medical deities………) […] says “hello to all”

Klonopin eater goes on hate-filled doctor-bashing rant

Is the System evil or ignorant?
« on: September 01, 2017, 10:44:05 pm »

[Buddie]

Is anyone else ANGRY at the doctor who turned you into a drug addict? I submit that most doctors ignorantly believe if patients take their meds as prescribed, there won’t be any issues. Here’s the problem: Your brain doesn’t give a flying f%@$ about US law or what your doctor thinks. All it knows is that it’s regularly been influenced by a powerful psychoactive and it wants more. We’re every bit as much an addict as anyone else, and our addiction can actually kill if you just stop taking it. It also creates the longest and most horrific withdrawal known to man. (I’ve confirmed this with heroin addicts, alcoholics, meth addicts, anyone who has been through a withdrawal). Heroin addicts feel sorry for me! No one is taking responsibility for ruining lives by the million in the name of the almighty dollar.

Pharmaceutical companies send hot girls to doctors offices to persuade them to hand out their drugs. Wtf?! Our society is so brainwashed by the DSM-V, thinking about which acronym fits them because life sucks sometimes for everyone but there has to be something wrong with you. ADHD, OCD, PTSD, GAD, MDD…choose a f@$!ing acronym so you can become a lifetime customer.

We’ve all gone through he’ll because our doctor’s either didn’t know or didn’t care what they were doing. Our society gives so much reverence to doctors…we trust them implicitly because they went to med school. My doctor literally opened Web MD when prescribing my klonopin. They’re not f@$&ING special, they’re human beings just like anyone. They are succeptible to greed and the powers that be are so god damned cocky they don’t even attempt to hide the fact that the people we trust with our health are being bribed by drug companies. Doctors who prescribe things they don’t understand have betrayed the public trust and should be dealt with accordingly. They’re drug dealers…in every sense of the word. We have a war on drugs that imprisons people for smoking a plant while the system were supposed to trust is getting us hooked on the drugs they can profit from.

Anyone who has suffered as I have suffered must surely feel the same injustice. I got out of the military after serving honorably for 6 years…I told my doctor I didn’t feel quite right. Then I was a drug addict. Klonopin took everything in my life. I barely survived it….and that piece of shit probably did the same thing to someone today.

No one should ever go through what I’ve been through. Helping people who are suffering with hope and advise is great, but shouldn’t we be doing something to stop the system that put us here? The average person has no idea what a benzo is…if they tell their doctor they’ve been anxious lately, chances are they’re gonna join our ranks. How do we save those people?

BALA admins crack the whip on mentally ill members as FDA campaign stalls

Like the failed owner of Benzo Buddies, BALA is delusional re: active membership i.e. the majority of BALA (or Benzo Buddies) members are not active, don’t do anything except sit and moan 24/7 about how doctors fucked them over.

BALA is even giving away money and still can’t get more than a handful of addicts (less than 1% of their tiny membership) to fill out the form.

I wonder if, out of desperation, the BALA gurus will start sending in fake complaints to the FDA?

Welcome to the real world kooks. Stay on your meds.

Maniacs at Benzo Buddies want to stick medical professionals that help hundred of millions of people in prison

legal action
« on: June 08, 2017, 11:01:22 am »

[Buddie]

It seems to me that we been told benzos were not harmful and now we are damaged why cant the pharmacutal be held accountable. The medical field refuses to adknowlage there is a problem in the US because it makes billions chasing systoms .why cant we sue money would me happy. I am surprised the lawyers aren’t pursuing this. This is another day I cant work.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2017, 11:08:21 am by [Buddie] »

Re: legal action
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2017, 01:42:12 pm »

[Buddie]

Want to help people put the drug companys that sell this crap in jail.

Benzos not to blame for singer’s death

Chris Cornell started abusing illegal drugs at age 12 but cult blames benzos for his death

“We were all selling drugs by the time we were 12, or doing them… pot or pills or anything that was easily available.” – Chris Cornell, 1994 Rolling Stone interview

How can we get this message of benzo dangers out? Soundgarden - Cornell- Ativan
« on: May 19, 2017, 01:42:27 pm »

[Buddie]

Lawyer Kirk Pasich said Cornell, a recovering addict, had a prescription for Ativan, which he said has a range of side effects, including suicidal thoughts.

Major side effects associated with Ativan use include confusion, depression, and memory loss, according to AmericanAddictionCenters.org.

I would suspect he was addicted to ativan and didn’t know how he was going to beat the dependency. Wife said he took a few extra before concert.

USA does not take Benzo addiction seriously. Only opiod.

Benzo Buddies members suffer from Munchausen by Internet

Munchausen by Internet

Munchausen by Internet is a pattern of behavior akin to the Munchausen syndrome (a psychiatric factitious disorder wherein those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma to draw attention, sympathy, or reassurance to themselves) in which Internet users seek attention by feigning illnesses in online venues such as chat rooms, message boards, and Internet Relay Chat (IRC). It has been described in medical literature as a manifestation of factitious disorderor factitious disorder by proxy.[1] Reports of users who deceive Internet forum participants by portraying themselves as gravely ill or as victims of violence first appeared in the 1990s due to the relative newness of Internet communications. The pattern was identified in 1998 by psychiatrist Marc Feldman, who created the term “Münchausen by Internet” in 2000.

People who demonstrate factitious disorders often claim to have physical ailments or be recovering from the consequences of stalking, victimization, harassment, and sexual abuse. Several behaviors present themselves to suggest factors beyond genuine problems. After studying 21 cases of deception, Feldman listed the following common behavior patterns in people who exhibited Munchausen by Internet:

  • Medical literature from websites or textbooks is often duplicated or discussed in great detail.
  • The length and severity of purported physical ailments conflicts with user behavior. Feldman uses the example of someone posting in considerable detail about being in septic shock, when such a possibility is extremely unlikely.
  • Symptoms of ailments may be exaggerated as they correspond to a user’s misunderstanding of the nature of an illness.
  • Grave situations and increasingly critical prognoses are interspersed with “miraculous” recoveries.
  • A user’s posts eventually reveal contradictory information or claims that are implausible: for example, other users of a forum may find that a user has been divulging contradictory information about occurrence or length of hospital visits.
  • When attention and sympathy decreases to focus on other members of the group, a user may announce that other dire events have transpired, including the illness or death of a close family member.
  • When faced with insufficient expressions of attention or sympathy, a forum member claims this as a cause that symptoms worsen or do not improve.
  • A user resists contact beyond the Internet, by telephone or personal visit, often claiming bizarre reasons for not being able to accept such contact.
  • Further emergencies are described with inappropriate happiness, designed to garner immediate reactions.
  • The posts of other forum members exhibit identical writing styles, spelling errors, and language idiosyncrasies, suggesting that the user has created fictitious identities to move the conversation in their direction.[1]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchausen_by_Internet

proposed munchausian circle jerk emoji ?
« on: May 10, 2017, 06:39:01 am »

[Buddie]

I joined on to this forum 2 days ago during what appeared to me, to be a protracted w/d issue.
I found comfort in many of the heart felt dialogues.
However,
It has occurred to me, for some, it may be a munchausian circle jerk.

I sincerely hope that is not the case, as it would seriously muddy the waters for people truly seeking specific help.
If it is, I propose the construction of a new emoji to express this case so that this concept can self regulate.

I hope I don’t get banned for saying so.

Are doctors really to blame for thousands of benzo addicts in the UK? Of course not.

Addict “using substances never intended for human consumption” but blames benzos for brain damage

What else could this be? + update/doubts
« on: March 02, 2017, 08:31:38 am »

[Buddie]

I feel like a walking nuclear power station in meltdown now. I have SO many severe neurological symptoms now that I am starting to doubt it is Benzo related anymore. I’m not saying this is the case for everyone else, but because I was using substances that were never intended for human consumption, and because there are rare neurological conditions such as Neuromyotonia in my family, I am going to tell the doctor today about all of it. I could have been gulping down poison or some kind of chemical neurotoxins for three years, who knows. I am a stupid idiot, I choked down dozens of those shitty blue ‘pellets’ an hour at some points. I did taper, but I had to taper very fast for the dose, with no medical assistance and a bunch of threats.

I also face the stigma that cloaks any kind of addiction, which frightens me because if I do land up being referred on for some investigations, it may cloud people’s judgement and I’ll just be accused of drug seeking again. This also excludes me from any kind of pain management too. I was in bed for a week last month (even more so than usual) with my period. I was delirious from the pain, felt like someone was repeatedly winding me and tearing my insides up with razors, couldn’t even speak or sit up, just yelp and whimper when the pain and buzzing tore through my insides (buzzing moves into my pelvic area when I get my period). All I managed was the odd 10 minute crawl to the bathroom to almost vomit (never did thankfully). If I stood up, I started seeing stars & darkness and started passing out. It was just me and the easily level 10 pain, in a little bubble of whimpering mess. All this is coming again around the 8th, so not long now!!!!. 
Try being an addict and getting any kind of pain addressed, it’s not going to happen, been there, tried it. Nobody will even investigate Endometriosis with me, probably because they think I’m after pain meds.

Another thing that makes me strongly suspect something else may be at play now is my lack of apparently very common psychological sxs like panic, terror, severe anxiety etc. All the info I have dug up suggests these are more prevalent than all the physical sxs combined. I don’t even have the classic one, Insomnia (I have totally the opposite, extreme exhaustion and inability to move). I haven’t read a single report that has been totally devoid of these mental symptoms. Even if I have a ‘window’ that for me only means a lessening of a couple of symptoms for a few hours, my most severe ones like burning skin, pain, neuropathy and internal vibrations never, ever go away. I imagine people with a variety of neurological conditions also have ‘good days’ where some of their sxs lessen, that pattern is not uncommon for any illness or condition, from flu to brain injuries. I think I was in such a fogged, addled state on Benzos that I ignored my deteriorating health and let something creep in. 

I need some form of resolution before this illness brings on the psych sxs I’ve so far escaped. I feel sort of blessed to have escaped the brunt of the psychological aspect of WD, specially given it certainly seems the worst and most distressing part to many people here. A lot of people also seem to be over the physical, which in withdrawal seems far more prevalent in acute than months out, and are now engaged in a mainly mental climb out of this mess. You can to a certain degree negate the mental aspects with many different coping strategies, not to downplay this aspect of withdrawal at ALL so please don’t think that.
I have suffered ongoing mental health issues such as anxiety (which Benzos quadrupled for me!) all my life. I manage these the same way as I always have. No amount of psychological intervention will negate physical illness though, and I am very, very unwell. It feels like my body is rotting, slowly but surely rotting like a zombie in the Walking Dead (I love that show! lol). I am losing not only weight, but muscle mass too, all my muscles are atrophying. I look like a Walking Dead extra too, my skin is ghost white, my eyes look like someone thumbed them three inches into my head, I am a mess. I simply cannot carry on this way, something has to give.

I am seeing the doctor today and I will be telling him about the family history and all my symptoms. I am really wondering if Benzos just opened the door, fried my CNS and allowed something to take hold. I will of course say I noticed all these sxs once I stopped using Benzos, but I must also take into account the fact Benzos may have been covering something up. They may have reduced both the symptoms of such a condition, and my ability to recognize it.

There are factors for me that point to this being far more than just withdrawal now. Some of my symptoms are above and beyond anything I’ve researched on Benzo withdrawal, and some don’t fit the bill at all.

My internal vibrations/tremoring is so severe now that it rules every last second of my life. I can’t stand, sit, walk or anything with any degree of comfort because it quickly turns to numbness and neuropathy if anything makes contact with my body such as a seat or if I lean against something. I have never, ever heard of this being so extreme or prevalent in WD from any drug. This symptom alone feels like it causes many sxs, and if I could get rid if it, I would get rid of them too. I feel like an alcoholic in acute inside. I wish I was in a way, it seems alcoholics have done the DTs in a few days and are basically ok physically a couple of weeks out. I am still very much ready to accept I may have something other than Benzo WD now though. I haven’t touched a Benzo for 5 months, I know I am over acute, but my body is severely damaged. My brain appears to have scraped through and continues to improve all the time, but having a functioning brain in a broken body is the worst thing any human can possibly experience.

I am so sick now I would not be surprised if I am not sent straight up to the hospital for some urgent tests today. My long suffering husband was a couple of weeks ago, because to top all of this off, he has both Cauda Equina Syndrome (neurological spinal condition), he also has a swollen calf muscle from a suspected partial tendon rupture. They had to rule out DVT. He’s had two normal D Dimer tests, so that’s one thing it’s not. I want to help him with this as much as I can but I am bedridden and extremely unwell. Everything is too much now. Many of my ancestors were tortured and killed in German extermination camps during WWII, and somehow many also survived and told their horrendous stories, so maybe, just maybe, if a human being can survive something as atrocious as that, I will survive this?. I am ready to accept the worst though. I have forgotten what it’s like to wake up and feel ‘well’, I don’t even know what ‘well’ is anymore. I get very upset when I see someone jogging or cycling or jumping around, because I can barely lift my arms above my head. I feel like it’s time to ask for something like a mobility scooter or a f*cking wheelchair. Pardon my language but I’ve had enough of my torture chamber body.

I can deal with this very real possibility, even if whatever it is is going to kill me, fine, just tell me what it is because if something’s going to kill me, I want to get acquainted with it first, please don’t shoot me in the back.

Last off, if anyone suggests I ever reinstate, I will give it some serious consideration because I have reached the end of my rope now, out of slack, no more room for movement in my little box.

« Last Edit: March 02, 2017, 09:09:23 am by [Buddie] »