BENZO BULLYING

Benzo bullying
« on: November 05, 2017, 08:43:57 pm »

[Buddie]

Has anyone else experienced benzo bullying where someone knows you are going through w/d and exploits the fact?

In view it should be regarded as a hate crime. Or worse.

Re: Benzo bullying
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2017, 09:55:03 pm »

[Buddie]

That is so mean & sorry you’ve experienced this. Personally have not had this yet. Was it people you know which would make this more hurtful. Could it be possible they didn’t mean to be hurtful as they don’t understand what we’re going thru?

Re: Benzo bullying
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2017, 11:33:29 am »

[Buddie]

They did know me and sadly they knew exactly what they were doing because the person orchestrating it has been through benzo w/d themselves.

I know it is unbelievable but it’s true. Moreover I believe they were trying to provoke me into a reaction while I was ill in order to use it against me. I have even had my computer hacked and fb account hacked and been stalked and trolled on fb by the same people. It is a true horror story.

Xanax no longer fun for addict

Feeling like such a failure...
« on: May 26, 2017, 09:48:48 pm »

[Buddie]

:(

Tonight my husband took me out to a local historical attraction. It was a pleasant evening. The weather had cooled off and I knew that walking would be good for me. I had asked him to take me out this evening for some air. Plus I was excited to be able to face what anxiety I’ve been having and work through it. Prove to myself I was safe. I had been feeling a bit jumpy and anxious all day but yesterday when we went out,  I had quickly dealt with it and felt really decent.

Tonight all of a sudden the panic hit me hard. I told him as we were walking up the steps to the memorial I felt anxious. My breathing was funny and my heart of course was pounding.  :-\ We sat for a while and I calmed down. We talked about it and took some pictures and even though I was anxious I was working through it. Off and on the anxiety just kept hitting me. As soon as I calmed down it was back.

Then we stopped to get sandwiches for dinner and while I waited in the car I started feeling awful. My head was hurting,  my neck hurting…I swear to God I started feeling “withdrawal” symptoms but I know it was just my anxiety.  >:(

I thought I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to jump out of my skin! My pulse was normal but I just felt like my while body was vibrating with flight or fight you know?

I had .5mg of a Xanax in  my pocket that I carry around FOREVER but I never take it. Like a safety thing. I know, stupid. I broke down and said screw it. I was so angry and just to wanted to feel better for once since starting this weaning…so I let it start dissolving (not a oral tab btw ) on my tongue. I could feel the saliva building up and taste it on my tongue, the xanax, and then I opened the door to the car and spit it out!  I was so ashamed for being weak ya’ll.  :-[ How could I do this????????

I worry I sat myself back and I just feel like a big loser because I couldn’t handle the freaking anxiety and I wondered why I thought I could ever do this.

I am only coming up on three weeks and I read all of you doing so well and I’m like WHAT A FAILURE!!!

Thanks for listening.

Always there, always watching

MOVED: A very weird thing happened today - saw my post on an anti-BB site
« on: February 23, 2016, 03:39:35 am »

[Buddie]

This topic has been moved to Off-Topic.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=151288.0