Benzo Buddies members forced to give away belongings, live like hermits, to remain in cult

Giving away belongings
« on: November 13, 2020, 08:26:44 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve noticed a few people (e.g. Baylissa) who report that they gave away a lot of their belongings while in withdrawal but have little memory of that time. For me, I’ve noticed the urge to get rid of a lot of my stuff – I think it stems from getting easily overwhelmed and wanting to simplify my life. I actually think it’s a good thing because I live in a small apartment with minimal storage space. Benzo withdrawal is helping me realize what I value most in life and most often that is not material objects. I have way too many clothes and was never able to part with them before, but now it comes easy. I plan to clean out my storage unit this weekend!

Re: Giving away belongings
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2020, 09:19:51 pm »

[Buddie]

Simplifying my life makes me feel good, when I’m distressed I’ll often pick a closet to clean out. I get a feeling of freedom from the weight of too much stuff and those I donate to can benefit as well.

Re: Giving away belongings
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2020, 03:35:21 am »

[Buddie]

I am doing the same thing. I have never edited so much. Feels great. Feels free.

Re: Giving away belongings
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2020, 07:08:34 am »

[Buddie]

I have been doing this too. Feels right to be clearing the junk out while clearing meds out of my body. Also makes me want to cut my hair. 😂

Re: Giving away belongings
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2020, 08:56:49 am »

[Buddie]

I give stuff away all the time but its mostly because I think I’ll never heal or make it through this alive to use them.

Benzo Buddies member blames Satan for drug addiction

too traumatized to heal
« on: September 29, 2020, 08:48:43 pm »

[Buddie]

i wont be on bb much longer but if you never hear from me again i guess this will let you know why. Im simply too messed up and have messed up too badly to heal fully. Jesus is supposed to be the healer and redeemer but sorry there is no healing this mothers heart from the monsterous symptoms ive had and the betrayal ofpeople i intrusted with this info when i was at my most frightened and f”@$ed up. i swim through the success stories of all these people who just plain didnt go as off their nut as i did. severe but kept their jobs. seveer but somehow stayed out of the wards. severe but somehow kept their heads about them. No one to tell me hey ive been where you are…no one yo say this is how we get you past this. i scared off the only person who has any insight into the horrors i have been through and even she didnt f up her life and is now i guess doing ok.anyway. ive said it before. satan knew what he was doing when he did this to me.

“One bad apple”

Alcohol in foods
« on: July 05, 2020, 09:31:09 am »

[Buddie]

Hi, I just ate an apple that had a little alcohol taste to it and now I’m afraid it will set me back a little.. Do such small amounts of alcohol have any impact on the gaba receptors?
« Last Edit: July 05, 2020, 11:08:25 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Alcohol in foods
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2020, 11:35:14 am »

[Buddie]

Apples don’t have alcohol in them. You should worry about eating apples, they are very good for your overall health.

Re: Alcohol in foods
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2020, 12:09:38 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you for your response, […]. Well there can be if the fruit is ripe/overripe. The yeasts can ferment the sugars of the fruit and produce alcohol.

Re: Alcohol in foods
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2020, 12:12:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 05, 2020, 12:09:38 pm
Thank you for your response, […]. Well there can be if the fruit is ripe/overripe. The yeasts can ferment the sugars of the fruit and produce alcohol.

Honestly, this should not be something you need to worry about. I ate a lot of fruit during my taper and recovery in an effort to eat cleanly.

Re: Alcohol in foods
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2020, 08:21:31 am »

[Buddie]

Unless your apple was a mushy pile of fermented goo= I think you are getting a bit overly anxious. Not many people are going to pick up a fermented apple and manage to eat it. Animals do it fairly often and exhibit signs of intoxication but those are some seriously fermented fruits! It is much more likely that your apple was in the same container as a bad apple and took on some odor/taste that absolutely will not mess your system up. This is why they have the whole “one bad apple” saying = They quickly take on the icky odor/flavor of a nearby nasty one. It doesnt hurt you, it just makes for an unsalable product. Maybe just don’t eat the rest of it if it doesn’t taste right?

Holiday horror stories pile up as Benzo Buddies members realize Ashton tapers have destroyed their lives

What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« on: December 24, 2019, 08:32:14 pm »

Ptsdmiracle

In 3 months it will be a year off, I have not noticed much improvement. I was slammed into complete dysfunctional and debilitating symptoms causing me to be housebound, and I’m still the same. Cognitive, emotional, mental, physical symptoms are still there when I compare the symptom list I created back in march. I’ve lost a year already. I keep thinking even if I do manage to recover to some functioning level, I’ll never be able to have the life I’ve worked so hard for. I won’t be able to return to my career if my health and sleep isnt 100%, because of the high demand even on a healthy body the stress can be high. I needed to be able to sleep on demand with high quality refreshing naps because of the unpredictable nature of workload. I’ll never be able to go through childbirth because I’m forever traumatized and paranoid that any meds or stress can send me back to acute, I wouldn’t want my kids to witness this let alone not have a healthy happy mother. I’ve cut ties with all my old friends for the past year, how am I ever going to explain to them what happened? Everyone had high hopes for me, now if they knew, I’d be the main topic of gossip in their circles. My social circles and even my extended family who are my generation are all high functioning healthy successful soon to be quite wealthy young adults.

So what’s left for me in this world? I feel like a parasite now, surviving on what the elders in my family can provide for me, and maybe when I recover I might “upgrade” to being a functional hermit.

It’s very difficult for me to have hope and be optimistic and grateful this holiday season. Especially since I’ve been waiting and waiting for symptoms to lessen or go away, but my brain has 24/7 been trapped in this alternate universe that’s hell. I also never have windows, not even glimpses of near normalcy. My brain is so far gone. When I was 22, I wanted to reach 30 because this is the year I could really start settling down and building my life after moving everywhere for training and work. Now that I’m 30, ironically, life is already over. and all I think about is dying so that misery isn’t prolonged.

For those that read this sad and dark post, thanks for listening. Anyone have any uplifting words to say I appreciate even more. I just don’t know the point anymore.

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2019, 08:44:38 pm »

[Buddie]

So, I have been ill and unable to work and largely housebound since 1996. All my then friends have had careers and bought homes and had families. I have nothing.

You will almost certainly feel well enough to live a worthwhile life in another year or two.

If your life is pointless where does that leave me? I am 51 now and even if I survive WD I will still have the underlying physical issues I was on Benzos for.

What does it say about all chronically sick or disabled people?

You have no idea where life will take you. Once your get through this you will be stronger and more determined than any of your friends plus you should have some real empathy, something g they will never learn unless something shit happens to them because it sounds like you all live a very entitled and unthinking life.

You will be fine.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2019, 09:01:56 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2019, 08:53:21 pm »

[Buddie]

I know how you are feeling as im on the same boat.

I found my thinking about life is totally controlled by my sx at that moment. Even when sx is less intense with a brain kind of working for a minute, my perspective would be totally different, planning for thousands stuff for life. You are closer to healing everyday, once that day comes, your confidence, desire, motivation will be back more than ever.

When the sx are strong and you are still in depth of this process, try not to think tomorrow or future. Our thinking in this process is irrational only based on what we feel at the moment.

Just focus on each day and keep going. You survived almost a yr and will survive more days that comes, until you dont have to live by surviving moment by moment and then only enjoy every moment.

When these thoughts come, just vent here and we are around to listen to it. It will pass, possibly in just a few hours when the sx are lessoned.

Stay away from corn and prawns?

Corn
« on: December 07, 2019, 08:01:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Has anyone had a bad reaction to eating corn? I ate a corn cob last night and about a half hour afterwards i got huge adrenaline surges that have lasted for hours, bp went sky high 260/144 and runs of Afib, managed to keep out of the hospital thank god. I read it’s high in glutamate, anyone know anything?

Re: Corn
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2019, 08:49:07 pm »

[Buddie]

I have been fine with corn, but seriously, I have heard people reacting strangely to so many different kinds of foods, who knows. I would keep a list of the foods you react poorly to. That sounds really scary for your BP and Afib. Hope you are feeling better today

Re: Corn
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2019, 09:04:39 pm »

[Buddie]

Thanks Green, yeah i definitely need to keep a list, i had a similar reaction to prawns a few weeks ago but it passed off very quickly, at least my bp is down today, normally it’s really low, i just feel totally wiped out today. Hopefully i won’t get a repeat performance.

Benzo Buddies labeled draconian hell site, run by out of control moderators, filled with people who thrive on self-pity

June 06, 2019 8:27 AM EDT
I experienced the same thing on BenzoBuddies. At first it was a great forum and others on that forum helped me through the toughest times of my withdrawal. After I healed, I thought I would pay it forward. I was doing a good job helping others and then decided to introduce outside sources of hope and encouragement. I was instantly reprimanded and when I complained, they pretty much locked down my account to where I couldn’t post anything without moderator approval, nor could I Personal Message anyone. My account was for all intents and purposes…worthless and not usable. I told one moderator in particular that you need people on the site that healed to help and give hope to others. She dismissed it and said I thought I was “special” and “better than everyone else.” Because I volunteered my time on the site? Needless to say I don’t go on BBs any longer. Their draconian rules are only meant to stifle what they claim they are about, which is giving others hope. Too many rules, too many moderators on a power kick and too political…that’s how I would sum up BenzoBuddies. Plus too many hard core people that claim they never heal when they don’t tell “rest of the story.” Almost all of those cases involve being poly drugged and having preexisting medical conditions prior to any type of anti-psychotic drug use.
– Igotmylifeback

Benzo Buddies member asks cult’s permission to renew driver’s license

Driver License renewal
« on: September 07, 2019, 02:24:49 pm »

Guinea pig

I’m curious for those that are at end of taper or very recently finished.

Could you renew your drivers license in your present condition?

Synthroid. 88 mcg
Losartan 100/25
Ambien. 10mg
Lorazepam 4mg
12/2018 3.0
2/2019. 2.75
3/2019. 2.5
4/2019. 2.25
5/2019. 2.0
6/10/19. 1.90 sxs Holding
8/17/19. 1.85