BENZO RAGE

Re: 18 - 30 Month Plus Group
« Reply #7315 on: December 07, 2017, 11:19:21 pm »

[Buddie]

[…] and […],

I’ve never experienced pain like I did when my new mattress was “off-gassing.” Farts I can handle. Farts 💨 that blow me into the next room can only come from Satan’s butthole. This pain from hell made me absolutely immobile screaming in bed unable to move a millimeter. On another thread I started, a couple of a$$holes chimed in saying how just picking up a golf ball is hard to do when you get old. Gee, thanks Yoda for being so understanding and compassionate.

You know where I’d like to shove his golf ball.

Well, I clearly understand the WITHDRAWAL pain you are all feeling. It is not of this world. It is flying screeching monkey pain. No wonder most people never come off these pills. At least they’re half zombified in pain, unlike us who are fully aware of every nook and cranny that’s being zapped and stabbed and stretched and yanked as we are disemboweled. Oh yes, I know how you feel.

[…]

Ashton devotees add sweating to list of 90,000,000 benzo withdrawal symptoms

The sweats
« on: December 06, 2017, 05:46:20 am »

[Buddie]

Does anybody else get terrible sweats while tapering?.. I’ve had them really badly to the point where I’m dripping and have to put a towel on my bed.

Anyone out there in the same boat?.. summer has started here so the heat doesn’t help..

Thanks

Re: The sweats
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2017, 01:17:41 pm »

[Buddie]

Yes, the sweats. Have had this problem for a long time.
Mostly during the nights when I try to sleep.

Wake up in a pool of sweat every night. We have the window open even if it’s winter here in Sweden.
I’m sweating like crazy. It’s a problem since I really need the sleep I can get. As so many of us here do.
I hope it will go away for us. Enough with sxs as it is.

Re: The sweats
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2017, 08:48:58 pm »

[Buddie]

When I first started cutting down I got the sweats at night. It was ridiculous… I would wake up and my hair would be soak along with my PJs. I’ve never done that. Always been a cold nature person. So far I haven’t had them anymore.

Re: The sweats
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2017, 09:04:53 pm »

[Buddie]

Last night I had really bad sweats! Woke up in the middle of the night and my t-shirt was soaking wet. Had to change my t-shirt and finally fell back asleep. Luckily for the rest of the night, no sweating! Weird!!

Scientology and Benzo Buddies both lie about their membership numbers

  • In 2001, the American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS) reported that there were 55,000 adults in the United States who consider themselves Scientologists.[158] A 2008 survey of American religious affiliations by the US Census Bureau estimated there to be 25,000 Americans identifying as Scientologists.[159][160]
  • The 2001 United Kingdom census contained a voluntary question on religion, to which approximately 48,000,000 chose to respond. Of those living in England and Wales who responded, a total of 1,781 said they were Scientologists.[161]
  • In 2001, Statistics Canada, the national census agency, reported a total of 1,525 Scientologists nationwide,[161] up from 1,220 in 1991.[162] In 2011 census the number of scientologist raised to 1,745.[163]
  • In 2005, the German Office for the Protection of the Constitution estimated a total of 5,000 – 6,000 Scientologists in that country, and mentioned a count of 12,000 according to Scientology Germany.[164]
  • In the 2006 New Zealand census, 357 people identified themselves as Scientologists, although a Church spokesperson estimated there were between 5,000 and 6,000 Scientologists in the country.[165] Earlier census figures were 207 in the 1991 census, 219 in 1996, and 282 in 2001.[161]
  • In 2006, Australia’s national census recorded 2,507 Scientologists nationwide, up from 1,488 in 1996, and 2,032 in 2001.[161][166] The 2011 census however found a decrease of 13.7 per cent from the 2006 census.[167]
  • In 2011 support for Scientology in Switzerland was said to have experience a steady decline from 3,000 registered members in 1990 to 1,000 members and the organization was said to be facing extinction in the country. A Church of Scientology spokeswoman rejected the figures insisting that the organization had 5,000 “passive and active members in Switzerland”.[168]
  • Benzo Buddies currently lists 39,257 members. In actuality, less than 1% of that figure are active members. A simple way to prove this is by checking who has posted, easy for any member to do (most members have posted once, or twice). Another way to prove this is by looking at any of the cult’s so-called benzo petitions – you will find most of them can barely manage 200 people (worldwide).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_Scientology#Membership_statistics

Another Ashton failure: 10 months off and worse than ever

Hysteria
« on: November 22, 2017, 04:35:53 pm »

[Buddie]

Does anyone or can anyone relate to a screaming type inner head feeling-not pain but just a wretched and painful crying…I get this almost daily and it’s straight from hell…I don’t know how anyone survives this-I feel so traumatized..have stopped eating much or drinking..really doubt my survival at almost 10 ms off

Kook denounces Ashton after Versed used during colonoscopy

Versed planned for colonoscopy - scared to death of Versed
« on: November 13, 2017, 10:20:58 pm »

[Buddie]

On Nov 16 I am scheduled for a colonoscopy and they say they will give Versed and Demerol, but I understand the Versed is a benzo! I suffered pure physical hell for about a year after getting off even the smallest amount of Ativan and I have now been pretty much back to normal for the past few months. I would almost rather die of colon cancer than go through the physical dependency hell again. I am seeing if they can use something else, but my doc says all should be fine with the meds they use. But this is from my doc that was pretty much clueless and reluctant to believe all my prior illness symptoms were from going off Ativan. Any experiences with this Versed stuff for medical procedures? I searched the forum and only found old archives on the subject, but no recent experiences.

I saw on the forum where some say to use Propofol instead, but not sure if my HMO would use that. I wonder if high dose Atarax may take the place of Versed to get me through the procedure. I have taken small amounts of Atarax when having occasional sleep problems and it makes me very groggy even in 1/4 tab dose but no physical dependency hell like a Benzo.

Re: Versed planned for colonoscopy - scared to death of Versed
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2017, 05:56:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Well now its the 19th (3rd day after my procedure with Versed & Demerol) and now I feel worse. It feels like the old Ativan withdrawal symptoms reigniting (weak, nausea, dizzy, chilly & some brain zaps). I actually felt better on the 1st and 2nd day after the procedure, which is why I am thinking withdrawal reignited because I noticed before when on Ativan that it was usually day 2 or 3 when I would start to feel bad when stopping Ativan. Anyway I sure hope I am not going back into full withdrawal where it will take me another 9 months to a year to feel better. I should have opted for Demerol alone and not the Versed for the Colonoscopy but I chickened out and listened to the medical team that I should be ok. So, now I suffer for listening to medical staff. I am just not sure how long I will suffer of if it will get worse in the days ahead. All I know is that I am starting to experience the familiar benzo withdrawl symptoms. Any others had such experience? I am just a bit concerned of what I may have to deal with going ahead. Although this is not the same circumstance, I suppose the situation with the Versed may be similar to someone that was benzo free but then slipped and took a benzo again. So although the Ashton Manual says Versed will not cause benzo withdrawl to return, I would suggest to watch out!!! My bad, so now I have to live with it!! I sure wish I saw the members posts mentioned above sooner, since my procedure was already on the 16th. I am also 60+ so who knows, age & prior benzo problems may have something to do with it too. Hindsight is painful!!
« Last Edit: November 19, 2017, 06:22:51 pm by [Buddie] »

Anti-psychiatry Benzo Buddies ghouls try to talk hallucinating addict out of seeking professional help

Considering Nursing Home care
« on: November 01, 2017, 11:34:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello everyone,

I have been through multiple withdrawals, almost on a monthly basis, over the past 5 years of being on klonopin. I made a huge mistake doing that, and I now know it. I was so frightened and terrified that I couldn’t even think straight. Even on the medication, I was in a lot of distress. I am now hardly able to take care of myself. I have lost almost all proprioception and can’t feel the muscles I’m tensing. This actually started possibly years ago. I am at a point where I have encountered near death experiences of being completely out of my body, much more than just dr/dp. I haven’t been able to let my body relax since my high anxiety took me into dr/dp 7 years ago (upon which I became frozen in my own body and couldn’t get help or info anywhere), 2 years before I was on meds. I am afraid to move or even think about most of my body and head. My sense of my body is constantly fluctuating. I have saucer sized pupils almost all day every day. When I look at them under light in the bathroom, they are constantly becoming huge then small. My mother has been taking care of me for the past 3 years, but she is getting older and I can’t put this on her anymore. I am only 31, but I am becoming severely disabled by this. If I even think about my body I feel pain. Over the years of repeated withdrawal, I have been mentally running away from what is happening to me more and more. The more I go on, the worse everything is getting. I am now having near-death compelete out of body experiences frequently. My nervous system is so wired that when I get up to do something, I am completely out of my body and can’t feel anything. When I sit down I start to feel all kinds of pain and horrible sensations. My proprioception is totally gone. My mouth feels sideways sometimes. Other times it starts to feel gigantic. And it is all I can really notice. Something is very wrong with me. I’ve done some kind of damage that I couldn’t feel because I’ve been outside of my body for years. I do have a feeling that I’m going to die, but it’s not a panicky one that I had 7 years ago when I entered dr/dp. This is an oddly calm acceptance.

So, I really think I need to be in a nursing home under medical care despite my age. I just contacted my doctor about it and I’m waiting for a reply. I know this seems crazy to everyone else in my life, but I know it’s what needs to be done in case something happens and to relieve the burden on my mother. I’m only getting worse and worse, and I have a feeling I’m on the verge of a serious occurrence that may threaten my life. I may even have to go back on klonopin just to stabilize. Just maybe there is a possibility I could do a supremely slow taper at some point in the distant future after I possibly correct the things that are physically wrong with me. To be honest, a lot of what I read here is what I experienced during my first or second year on the med. I feel like I unknowingly kindled myself dozens of times and found out all of this information I found way too late.

So, I guess my question is, what do you guys think? I’m losing my abilities to do anything even worse than before. I was hardly able to take care of myself the last few years on klonopin. I just sat in my chair hoping to distract myself at my computer. I had to leave grad school a year before I had my phd, and I pretty much became homebound then. I thought it was all just some mysterious thing that was destroying me and no one could figure it out. Now I know, but it’s too late. Do you think I will be able to do this? Do they have to have a definite diagnosis for me to be put in there? Please let me know anything you have to say about this.

Re: Considering Nursing Home care
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2017, 12:05:41 am »

[Buddie]

If you tell your doctor what you just wrote they won’t put you in a nursing home unfortunately, they’ll send you to a psych hospital. I know your feeling rough and guilty but you got to pull yourself together for your family. Vent all you want, it helps for sure but just know that you aren’t broken forever. This will end one day. You might have underlying issues as so I as well but this isn’t baseline if you weeent like this prior to the meds.

Benzo Buddies promotes Scientology cult’s Tom Cruise’s wisdom

The Wisdom of Tom Cruise
« on: November 05, 2017, 05:17:16 pm »

[Buddie]

Often think of the 2005 interview with Matt Lauer and Tom Cruise and how right Cruise was.

My draw-ring for today:

http://anxiousinklings.com
« Last Edit: November 05, 2017, 05:25:19 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: The Wisdom of Tom Cruise
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2017, 06:05:01 pm »

[Buddie]

It’s haunting now to look back and know that he was right…about these poisons. Great artwork!

Alcoholic tapers with Vodka at online Ashton shrine

Question about alcohol
« on: November 02, 2017, 02:53:39 am »

[Buddie]

Thinking about trying this but I’m worried about how it affects gaba receptors. But If I do try it, I’m using 175 mls of liquid. Do I put 2 mls of Vodka and 173 mls of water?

Thanks.

Scared of the effect bc I’m an alcoholic.

Cult leader bars members from meeting, or even talking about it

An In-Person Support Group
« on: October 31, 2017, 04:49:37 pm »

[Buddie]

I have heard of these for us, I am remembering now as I type this out. How do we get more going, what is the protocol?

Any thoughts…? Thanks ahead of time.

(I’d like to start one in my area, maybe for victims of pharmaceutical violence in general. I’m only in the thinking and planning stages though.)

Re: An In-Person Support Group
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2017, 04:59:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Well I just saw that we aren’t supposed to even mention or talk about this in general. I can’t delete my own post though, I have found.

I don’t see the harm in discussing this and being non-specific about location, kind of a depressing rule if you ask me.

Elderly forced into years-long tapers

Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« on: September 26, 2017, 12:52:06 pm »

[Buddie]

I was wondering if there are any here who are over 60 years of age and tapering. I feel it is a lot harder now that I am older. I am going to press on with this at a very slow taper rate. I don’t care how long it takes, as long as I have minimal to no symptoms. I need to be able to function and want quality of life. Just thought I would inquire. Thanks.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2017, 02:11:39 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi,

I was 62 when I began my taper, which, of necessity was a fast taper. Though it took me a long time to heal, I don’t regret it at this point, and am much better for being off benzos. It really was worth it. I’m 5.5 years off now.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2017, 02:26:09 pm »

[Buddie]

I completed my taper just after my 60th birthday. Now I am recovered and I feel good and I feel young again. I’m so glad I tapered off this crap. It’s worth doing at any age.
Love,
[…]

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2017, 04:56:22 pm »

[Buddie]

I will be 58 tomorrow so not quite 60 but close enough. I did a slow taper but I am still having issues. I don’t know that it can be avoided completely. Good luck with your taper. I am sure it will all be worth it in the end.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2017, 07:30:57 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m 64 but don’t know if there is a big difference between tapering at 20-30 years old or 50-60 years old. I just know that whatever time I have left, I want to be totally drug free including antidepressants that don’t work anyway.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2017, 07:37:04 pm »

[Buddie]

I am 61 and took my last xanax May 31st 2016. I tapered for four months and in hindsight I think my healing would have been smoother if I had gone a bit slower on the taper. I am so grateful at this point though to be free of xanax- the battle was worth it. I am living a pretty normal life now and most symptoms have lessened to a tolerable level. I wanted to give you hope that there is life on the other side even when you are 60 or older.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2017, 08:22:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m 68 and have been doing a very slow taper for years. For the most part I have been functional. My fears made and still do make the symptoms much worse! I’m down to 1.75mgs of Valium now. I was only on xanax .25 mgs for sleep for 18 months. I have been tapering on Valium for 4 years. I had some very long holds due to life altering events. I have never updosed. I have learned so much about myself during the last 4 years. I’m grateful for that. I look forward to the future and I know the best is yet to come! I do think age has an impact on tapering. My doctor agrees. Best of luck to you! 

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2017, 09:43:36 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you all for the encouragement and hope! It’s never too late and I know that I will feel much better when it is completed. Going low and slow is key. 4 years is what I think I may be looking at. That is fine as long as I can function. I have a mother who will be 90 in a few months and have to make sure she is doing well. She lives 3 hours away and I have to be able to travel and keep going. Sometimes we have no control over life’s circumstances and it does get harder as we get older. I also have some friends who are sick and I try to see them and help with their care. I am a retired RN so I still have the nurse in me. My husband is very supportive even though he can’t understand. I have sometimes say no to doing too much activity wise. I commend you all for your determination and positive attitudes! Thank you so much!
Happy Birthday […]!