“I feel naked, mutilated, out of control and entirely in limbo”

Low-dose klonopin taper, psychiatric cocktail, hypersensitivity, irregular reactions, etc.
« on: August 02, 2016, 06:32:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi there. My family (historically subject to alcoholism, autism, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, you name it) and I have been trying to properly medicate my depression/mood swings/anxiety since I was just a kid.

After a failed diagnostic trial with Lamictal around age 10, I was put on 25mg Zoloft and 0.25mg Klonopin in middle school: this combination successfully got me through the following 5-6 years. I essentially cold-turkeyed the low dose of Klonopin upon exiting highschool and didn’t notice any effects. Switched from Zoloft to Prozac, which aggravated my mood swings and prompted a switch to Viibryd after a couple months. Varying degrees of depression/hypomania/crippling depression throughout. Had an odd reaction to Viibryd, and was put back on 0.25mg of Klonopin twice daily by my long-time psychiatrist to ease the SSRI withdrawal.

Things worsened rapidly, and after two consecutive, incredibly irrational trials on Lithium and then Seroquel (taking Klonopin and hydroxyzine throughout to ease the insanity of my symptoms) made the decision to get off medication completely and take the naturopathic route. This is after years of treating my chemically frustrated brain medically, mind you.

Started my Klonopin taper with 0.25mg in the morning and then 0.125mg at night. Been at this for about two weeks. My supplements are 5-MTHF (I have the homozygous mutation), GABA, vitamins B & D, and omega-3s. Haven’t noticed their effects, or lack thereof. My withdrawal symptoms include fatigue, confusion, dizziness, blurred vision, general cognitive impairment, body aches, and most importantly, anxiety & panic attacks. I read a little bit about hitting “tolerance” but am otherwise entirely blindsided by my neural reaction to the tapering. I’ve found myself literally cowering in fear half the time. I’m positively hungry to be back on an SSRI, because the past month has been something out of a horror film. For someone who is normally very aware/reflective/fluent, the mental fog that I’ve been subject to feels like paralysis. I am terrified. To make things worse, I’m at a critical nexus in my academic career and am paranoid about sabotaging my progress, capacity, future, etc. because I’ve only just realized how serious my Klonopin withdrawal is. My mental faculties are INCREDIBLY limited, and for someone who’s identified as an scholar since childhood, it’s tearing me apart. Rereading this uncoordinated, poorly written post is almost comedic considering my career as a university academic and publishing success.

All of my previous medications have been tiny doses because of my extreme sensitivity. xxx I have very few resources and am in urgent need of advice, information, and support. Currently, I’m supposed to travel overseas in two days and am wondering if it’s safe to get back on an SSRI to ease my symptomatic (& figurative) paralysis. Please, please, please help.

Ashton taper pushes mother over the edge

Almost out of control situation, PLEASE HELP
« on: July 07, 2016, 04:29:54 am »

[Buddie]

friends , today i experienced a situation that i never had before, My mom even before all that was already more or less exalted with every situation ,exalted i say more or less histeric, so now she been on recovery for 5 months, and most of the days she get histeric, today the situation went out of control, i dont know what to do, she got histeric for more or less 6 hours non stop, and im quiet in relation to it , so i hold up , hold up , hold up , and this is every day , but today it went very very bad , she went histeric for 6 hours , and its in relation , to the mess on the apartment that she could not stow, i was holding up , but more or less i lost it , …. i did almost jump out of the window , because of the stress. she do not do this on the street , just in home. i dont know what to do, i know that tomorrow it will be the same , wake up , histeric reaction , miostrly related with stowling things , much stress in the morning . than we probably will get out to lunch , when we wentt home , probably another histeric reaction , and so on , i want to get out of here , and stay n another place that she will not have to look to the mess thtat the apartment is . where do we go ? im feeling so ashame because of today , the neighbours , i feel that i cant look tho them face no more

RANDOM KOOK COMMENTS

none of us were warned

the FDA protects Big Pharma
If you can sue the doctor you should.

Fuck. Xanax.

I mean if the Rolling Stones could write a song about it … it was common knowledge. Right?
fuck yeah

Fuck. Xanax.
Fuck. Xanax.
Fuck. Xanax.

My husband is already a fan of this site.

sue the shit out of those pricks

Anderson had a rather sheepish expression on his face when Pinsky confronted him gently about his use of Ambien.

  • People have been asking what they can bring or send me. Here is a list of supplements and medical supplies that I currently need. I update this list regularly.

“LOL LOL” – Flick Rahke

  1. This beautiful song was written and composed by our very talented Ally (Nugent). Her music is honest, soulful and emotive. I think you’ll enjoy this!

“If you have assaulted a police officer, good for you, and if you have assaulted a MH worker involved in psychiatric torture, I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my (now psych-drug damaged and erratically beating) heart.” – Danny ‘End Psychiatry’ Carter

Please remove these IMMEDIATELY.

Edit to suit your needs. Do not threaten.
“Don’t tell me what to do….but FINE!” – Anthony Michael Demaris

“Me obsessed? I did not choose the name ‘Texwatson ‘ for myself . and anyone knows that the name is what it is , the name of the Manson family thug psychokiller. So if yu are “innocent” and never heard of that ‘Texwatson’, does that mean , that coincidentally, yu just happen to really be named ‘Texwatson’? now that could be the case i guess . after all, I also fearlessly use my real name. ‘Flick Rahke’, although ‘Flick’ is a childhood nickname derived from ‘Fletcher’ So your real name really is ‘Texwatson’? is that the secret? Flick”

Cult maniac identified as person who originally gave out anti-cult fighter’s personal info so his family could be harassed

Re: Please remove my membership and blog
« Reply #27 on: September 25, 2011 at 05:59:09 PM »

Dukesmommy

I’m confused. Gail was in on this from the very beginning, as a matter of fact. She and Jon were the instigators of the entire chain of events at BW. She was the one who gave out Mike59’s personal information to everyone so they could post it all over BW and other places on the internet. Many players who play innocent but are guilty behind the scenes, as I previously mentioned. Don’t forget that she was a moderator for a short time at BE. I had occasion to witness her intense hate for Mike59. There is no question in my mind that she is deeply involved in this current feud.

Another thing that I am confused about is why we would need to bring Ross in on all of this. He has managed to stay out of all of it completely, having most of these people, save Flick, as members of his forum. What would his forum have to do with you encouraging me to ban Mike59? Also, are you saying that you would be willing to ban Donny?

Yes, we are not 100% sure of who is completely involved. Like I said, there are many players and none are innocent.

There is Jon, Gail, Flick, Robyn Hayle, Jim (Befuddled), Jannie Tyme (Whoopsie) and maybe others that I don’t know about. Zoe, although she is not a member on BE as far as I can see and I don’t know whether she is a member here. If you banned Mike59 as a gesture to the members of BW then you do know that there were others that caused many problems there too.
I’m not sure of your reasoning behind that gesture, to be honest.

TC is a moot point since he is already banned from most all forums. I’m sure he rubbishes everyone he can if he gets mad at them. He has issues. I haven’t been to TRAP in years except to make sure my account was secure there a few weeks ago and to ask for his help with a woman in his country who has subsequently passed away last fall.

Again, I am making the gesture/offer. We may never do it perfectly but it is the fairest thing to do. Whether BW or TRAP participates or not, it will send a message that we will no longer stand for what is happening, that we have a common goal and that is to stand up for what is right, and get on with encouraging, supporting and helping others in withdrawal.

SHE NEVER STOPPED LOVING ME

POEMS FOR LOVED ONES: NT’S ODE TO SHAMU

ODE TO SHAMU

SHAMU SHAMU hides away
Calls her private toy DJ
SHAMU SHAMU you can’t hide
When your mouth is open wide

SHAMU SHAMU likes to FLOOD
Because she cannot let your blood
SHAMU SHAMU such a shame
Likes to hate and hurt and blame

SHAMU’s lies will make you laugh
Because her mind is cut in half
Her brains are fried her mouth is drone
Black heart, Black heart like a stone

Garbage, junk, hate and bile
Fills her toothless mouth with vile
SHAMU SHAMU sold her soul
To the devil down the hole

SHAMU SHAMU lost her mind
Left her children all behind
People laugh and people know
Your mind is blown where did it go?
SHAMU’s mind went down the well

Down into the depths of Hell