Addict with severe tooth pain skips Big Pharma dentist, joins cult instead

Severe Tooth/Gum Pain
« on: April 23, 2018, 06:04:59 am »

[Buddie]

Hi, I’m new to the BenzoBuddies forum. I joined a few years back but didn’t get really active because I was dealing with a lot. During that time, I continued my use of the clonazapem. It’s now been 5 years and I’ve been taking .5mg almost daily since then. Recently, I had struggled with trying to get off of it, but would give back in due to stress and my body feeling weird because I wasn’t taking it. But about 2 weeks ago, I started experiencing the worst tooth/gum pain I’ve ever felt in my life! It seems like nothing much has worked to get rid of the pain. I really regret taking this message for so long. I had noticed minor gum irritation before when taking clonazapem, but nothing like this. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I’m miserable! I’ve barely been able to sleep, have been to urgent care and the ER. I also need a plan in place to ween off this medicine.

Cyberchrondriac force fed steady diet of Benzo Buddies bullshit until she imagines she has benzo belly (a condition that doesn’t exist)

Benzo belly - help please!
« on: March 01, 2018, 11:29:30 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi,

I’ve been weaning for a year – initial dose: 6.5mg Xanax, current dose: 0.25mg Xanax, 40mg Valium. Currently tapering at .125mg Xanax per week with a break every third week or longer breaks if I have something important coming up.

Through the decreases I’ve experienced stomach upset in many varieties and degrees, I had no idea about benzo belly but I realise I’ve been having small bouts of it.

Anyway.. my last decrease was over a week ago and about 4 days in I started getting horrible pain and bloating. I try to stay very active to distract while tapering but these symptoms are so severe I just want to crawl up and sleep forever.

I haven’t been able to continue my activities as usual – my endurance is very limited, I think the pain is draining my energy.

I’ve tried prochlorperazine (stemetil), peppermint, po chai, resting.. I’m not getting any relief and it’s not going away like it usually does after a couple of days.

I know there are a lot of threads on this and I’ve read a lot, I just don’t understand why I’m getting it so severely when my tapering is so minimal and I’ve only had it mildly (comparatively) before. I am very close to being completely off Xanax (2 more decreases), are the last couple of decreases harder than the others?

Is there ANYTHING I can do to relieve this pain or at least give myself enough energy to continue my activities? (I dance at least 9 hours a week, it keeps me sane).

Any thoughts or help would be much appreciated 🙏❤

Rahke’s Ramblings: Sicko Flicko recounts tale of when his cult guru Adi Da Samraj translated into white light (died)

Beloved
November 14, 2011 at 10:58am

Thank you my dear friends. I am finding Facebook to be a gas and a major vehicle of the Avataric Guru Adi Da Samraj{my Guru for many lifetimes now}.

This is the real beginning now of the Badmitton Diaries and my life story and spiritual autobiography. It is fitting that I blog so late, cause I am wild late nite person. i cannot seem to get the discipline down of going to bed early and gettin up early. and I do not care anymore anyhow. LOL

So here is the scoop and I will elaborate over the next few days. In the last few months, Adi Da Samraj , my Guru has rapidly drawn me into the fourth stage of life. This is the beginning of real spiritual practice in HIs Way of the Heart and a sort of “beginner practice” But he calls it the Salvation Phase of Divine Enlightement. I am sitting here laughing my ass off now as I write . Humor Suddenly Returns.

In “lay terms” what this means is that my gross human level ego has been ‘blown out” in the Divine He and She. Many would be deluded into thinking they are “Enlightened” if they experienced some of what I experience every moment now and now and now, but Beloved gives his devotees discrimination and a perfect map of Life and Enlightment, so you know exactly who , what and where you are or are not really. no ego left no Oedipal patterning. no fear, no neurosis, no anger , no sorrow. non stop JOY and LOVE Bliss. no separation from the Goddess, no separation from Da God. tears and laughter. a non stop dance of joy effortless discipline, Big Balls LOL

I have to say that I owe much to the Institutional Church of Adidam. It is one of Beloved’s Divine Shakti vehicles in this world. But I owe everyting of This to my Guru Himself. We all know what I am talkin bout.

This really started an infinite amount of lifetimes ago. But it really really really started for me in the year of our LOrd 2000, at the ongoing Event known as Ruchiradam, where i was bodily present in the bedroom of my guru as he Translated into White Light. yikes This was actually two days after the actual Beginning of the Event.

I was not even a “formal devotee” then as i have been off and on since 1975. Davide asked me to come on a seva retreat and be his chauffeur since I was a pro cabdriver LOL

Anyhow we were all given Darshan one by one at the foot of Beloved Adi Da’s bed as He sat on his bed Radiating Divine Enlightenment. A Super NOva in yur face. Nuclear meltdown of your puny self ego. yikes. it was a Glory and I had no idea what would happen to me. I spent the next 10 years in a Purgatory or Hell , being completely purified by Mother Kali o many many lifetimes of karma. He , She was preparing me for this time. In some ways, not so fun , considering that my CNS was damaged by tranquilizers, that I was on for panic attacks, and extreme fear, insomnia, and more fear . I have been afraid of death and women for my whole life until the last few months. now no fear of death or women LOL

So now, with my damaged CNS, I am conducting the direct Heart Shakti of the Divine Being down my frontal line. Instant and effortless chi gung. all the way down Beloved is doing Everything. I get kriyas some but not much, considering. i get a bit “mannic” and just do my comedian thing and dance a lot “Dancing Down The Light” Too much pot gives me a bit of the shakes , due to my extreme sensitivity LOL

I love women so so much now and it ain’t from the testosterone cream I am using LOL they love me now too.
So I opened my Laughing Mama studio in Lake Co on my fiftieth birthday in 2000 and then the meltdown my dance partner , Heather performed with me that nite and mentioned how ai was finally healthty and in shape and my fifties would be “glorious” LOL LOL Then Ruchiradam and I lost it all, my physical and mental health, all my hard won fortune and property. I had a gallbladder surgery that destroyed me in one nite . Horrible scarring pain nonstop in my insides for years and years. panic, trauma , and fear and tranq addiction, horrible years of drug w/d s. horror upon horror never ending. I was in a Hell and had not the slightest idea what was going on.

I had no way to hold onto the toe of my Guru , but unbeknownst to me , He was holding me in His Loving Embrace { the Embrace of His Laughing Mama Form , that is} Mother Kali eats her young and is the destroyer of egos.

An actual human being, a male friend of mine, actually took on the form of Mother Kali for me. My friend’s name is Brian. We are friends now again. i did not trust him for awhile however LOL It is very difficult to trust Mother Kali while she is eating yu alive yikes, the nerve of Da Bitch.

I have always been very pro active to help me in my suffering LOL and this was actually very useful. I did a strong Buddhist mediation practice for years , often under the tutelage of a wonderful young tantric master, anam thubtenm in Point Richmond . I used to have a private audience with him and tell him how much I was suffering, He would laugh and ask me what I would be doing if I was not suffering, I said that i would be gettin high, surfing , and chasing gurls He laughed and said “See”? I cried a lot with sorrow back then and now I cry in Love Bliss a lot.

I was a devotee of Amma for a couple of years and she helped a lot in oh so gradual healing she took away all my fear once for two weeks, but Avatar Adi Da took it away permanently, this is a good thing LOL

So i am reopening the studio{well me and Brian are doing it as a coop team} on Jan 1 with me and others doing some fun and professional {LOL} performances with an all nite “Dancing Down the Light” initiated by Bhagavan Adi da the hippest Guru Who Ever Lived. I aleady booked Omer, the wizard of Harbin , to spin the Chillroom, from 2 to 5 a.m. more to come

Uncle Flicky Da Water Walker

Benzo Buddies cult orders member NOT to attend grandmother’s funeral

Advice of rescue pill do or dont.
« on: December 27, 2017, 10:16:54 am »

[Buddie]

Does a 5 mg of Valium destroy my w/d ? I am benzo free since 1 of October 2017. I am going to a funeral and I have a hard w/d.
Is zoplicone as bad as benzo? I need to sleep the night before the funeral.
If i take one of them will I be back to zero and has to do all crap again

Re: Advice of rescue pill do or dont.
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2017, 12:51:08 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 27, 2017, 10:16:54 am
Does a 5 mg of Valium destroy my w/d ? I am benzo free since 1 of October 2017. I am going to a funeral and I have a hard w/d.
Is zoplicone as bad as benzo? I need to sleep the night before the funeral.
If i take one of them will I be back to zero and has to do all crap again

Please don’t reinstate. You have three months of very hard work – the worst period –
behind you now. Taking any risk with that is definitely not something to take lightly and it is most certainly not in your best interests.

You do not have to go to any event, funeral or otherwise; put your recovery first. Not only are you ‘entitled’ to put yourself first, it is imperative that you do so, for your own benefit and the benefit of others who are dear to you.

In time, there will be plenty of opportunity to ‘make up for’ your absences and inabilities of this current period, when your mind is clear, your abilities and capabilites have returned and external activities have become an easy, ordinary thing to do, once again.

I had to miss my son’s wedding for similar reasons and (at the time) suffer the ignominy of my own embarrassment which resulted from that, along with those ‘confirming’ feelings of utter helplessness that also arose from it. (That’s not to mention my second-guessing the uninformed assessments of others and “what they must have thought of me”…) However, my abilities and circumstances now are very different and I am the living proof to others, to myself and now, hopefully, you, that very careful management of your condition has to be your first priority and that no one else can do it for you.

Re: Advice of rescue pill do or dont.
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2017, 01:17:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 27, 2017, 12:51:08 pm
Quote from: [Buddie] on December 27, 2017, 10:16:54 am
Does a 5 mg of Valium destroy my w/d ? I am benzo free since 1 of October 2017. I am going to a funeral and I have a hard w/d.
Is zoplicone as bad as benzo? I need to sleep the night before the funeral.
If i take one of them will I be back to zero and has to do all crap again

Please don’t reinstate. You have three months of very hard work – the worst period –
behind you now. Taking any risk with that is definitely not something to take lightly and it is most certainly not in your best interests.

You do not have to go to any event, funeral or otherwise; put your recovery first. Not only are you ‘entitled’ to put yourself first, it is imperative that you do so, for your own benefit and the benefit of others who are dear to you.

In time, there will be plenty of opportunity to ‘make up for’ your absences and inabilities of this current period, when your mind is clear, your abilities and capabilites have returned and external activities have become an easy, ordinary thing to do, once again.

I had to miss my son’s wedding for similar reasons and (at the time) suffer the ignominy of my own embarrassment which resulted from that, along with those ‘confirming’ feelings of utter helplessness that also arose from it. (That’s not to mention my second-guessing the uninformed assessments of others and “what they must have thought of me”…) However, my abilities and circumstances now are very different and I am the living proof to others, to myself and now, hopefully, you, that very careful management of your condition has to be your first priority and that no one else can do it for you.


Yes, you are so right.. It is my grand mothers funeral. It makes me so sad. Feels like I am in a mental prision.
I was taking a glass of Baileys last weekend and I start to feel anxiety after that….So no more alcihol

Scientologists at Benzo Buddies post years-old discredited Mad in America article to feed doctor-bashing frenzy

10 ways mental health professionals increase misery in suffering people
« on: January 21, 2017, 06:47:41 am »

[Buddie]

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/12/10-ways-mental-health-professionals-increase-misery-suffering-people/
« Last Edit: January 21, 2017, 07:30:03 am by [Buddie] »

Re: 10 ways mental health professionals increase misery in suffering people
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2017, 07:14:40 pm »

[Buddie]

Good article LorazepamFree. I ran into one psychiatrist who incorrectly diagnosed me based on an intake form, even before talking to me, and immediately recommended a high amount of anti-depressants. He said I had to get sicker to get better and called himself “Nurse Ratchet” (like the one in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest movie) and would strictly monitor whether I was taking the drugs. He didn’t care about the fact that I was in tolerance withdrawal from benzos. I was stunned and resisted, so he got mad and stamped his feet and told me to listen to my husband (he was stunned, too). Unbelievable-never saw him again Fortunately, my other counselors have been compassionate and helpful. One of them said that “Nurse Ratchet” shouldn’t be practicing. I hope sites like madinamerica can help bring awareness to patients and providers alike.

CULT OF MADNESS, CULT OF SHAME

There is still a stigma
« on: June 11, 2016, 04:51:07 pm »

[Buddie]

You can tell people you have diabetes or another condition and there is no shame or stigma. I never tell anyone but close family that I have anxiety disorder and depression. My anxiety problems before I got hooked on Ativan and had a bad withdrawal 9 years ago were nothing compared to the way I am now. I went through hell, and I’m trying a substitution taper now. I’m going to get through this and get better to enjoy my retirement and the years I have let after 64. People do not understand, and it’s private struggle. Support groups like this is where we can freely share. Maybe someday people will not look down at those with anxiety, depression, or even more serious psych disorders and realize that this I not a sign of personal weakness or something to be ashamed about. Nutcase, loony, “just a neurotic” might be a thing of the past. So much of it is a medical or genetic condition or chemical imbalance, and science is learning more about this daily.

Re: There is still a stigma
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2016, 11:59:32 pm »

[Buddie]

You are right there is a stigma and I have noticed it. When I got out of rehab in November I was not aware it was withdrawal since they told me to give it 2-3 weeks and everything would be fine. So I did not know what is wrong and by Christmas I thought I had to have a medical issue. So I saw every doctor in the free world have tests run and xrays from the head down and nothing was wrong. The doctors all told me also that it could no longer be related to anything abt withdrawal because the drugs where out of my system totally. I finally discovered sometime in Jan what was really happening. I found a psychiatrist who is an addiction specialist and he told me what was really wrong. I was so happy I found a doc to diagnose and tell me what was wrong and tell me I had a long way to go to get better.

I’m sorry I have a way of taking other ppls posts and making them about me. Anyway so when I got the diagnosis I started telling people around me what was wrong and I noticed that ppl did not like discussing it. It always made things kind of uncomfortable. I told my psych and he said it is a normal reaction that whenever you tell them something related to mental health they want to change the subject and not discuss it. As a result unless someone specifically asks me I just don’t bring it up. Sometimes family members bring it up to tell me “you are just depressed” or “that could not be your problem” so that always sucks and I just steer clear of them now.

Maybe someday it will be easier to discuss it but for now I keep it to myself.

Re: There is still a stigma
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2016, 04:02:29 am »

[Buddie]

I’m glad ppl. know I have brain damage now or have had a stroke and it’s not all in my head. A person who stutters and can hardly talk or function isn’t just suffering from anxiety and depression.

Kooks make propaganda film for each other (no one else will see it)

Kooky Monday: Self-pitying addiction vs iatrogenic dependence discussion devolves into wild bar brawl-style slugfest of personal insults


Appreciate the article, but not sure why this relentless demonization of big pharma and benzos…..similar trope over current “opiod” hysteria…blaming “opiod addiction” on Big Pharma and “oxycontin, etc. Big Pharma should be celebrated for providing us these ameliorative drugs.

as a “survivor” of many things including forced incarceration and Thorazine at a clip of 1600 mg. daily, should I have the right to flash my credentials any time you disagree with me and demand you apologize?

Whatever…regarding points missed– just trying to respond to a palpable hostile tone you have directed at me

http://www.madinamerica.com/2016/03/bridging-the-benzo-divide-iatrogenic-dependence-andor-addiction/#/comment-85090

Benzo Buddies members ask the million dollar question

Members of Benzo Buddies, if you analyze the membership statistics, as I did, you will see that the majority of the so-called 20,000 members have posted under five times i.e. they joined the site and once they saw what an anti-doctor/anti-psychiatry shit show it was they ran screaming for the nearest exit door.

There are a few hundred active members – at best. The membership rolls are padded.

(Incidentally, it is the same with all of the assorted Facebook benzo groups. They number a few hundred active members – in total. Usually, it the exact same people who join the various groups. A few hardcore zealots run the groups. Their time is spent moaning about Big Pharma and threatening doctors/nurses with legal action, or worse – violence.)

If millions are on benzo's, why are there only 20,000 members here?
« on: March 23, 2016, 08:35:22 pm »

[Buddie]

That’s just a fraction of people on these drugs.

So where is everyone?

Re: If millions are on benzo's, why are there only 20,000 members here?
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2016, 08:36:34 pm »

[Buddie]

Apparently most people have no problem going off of them.

Re: If millions are on benzo's, why are there only 20,000 members here?
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2016, 08:40:27 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on March 23, 2016, 08:36:34 pm
Apparently most people have no problem going off of them.

Exactly