One day we will read of a Benzo Buddies member committing a mass shooting

Threw a tantrum like a little kid humiliated
« on: February 14, 2018, 03:59:03 am »

[Buddie]

I don’t know why but looking back just now I realized I threw somewhat of a tantrum when I was at a facility well it was called a facility bit it was terrible. Now I feel so embarrassed I don’t know why I did that I was so pissed and scared at the time I thought they were trying to keep me there. I was just cold turkeyed just before maybe that’s had something to do with it

Re: Threw a tantrum like a little kid humiliated
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2018, 05:34:20 am »

[Buddie]

It would […]. :tickedoff:

I was sitting on a very crowded and cramped bus stop about 3 weeks ago and it was really hot.  The bus had those air brake things, and as each bus arrived and departed the air brakes made a horrible hissing, squealing sound.

I kept enduring until I just screamed at the final bus and told it to shut the F up.  Everyone looked at me.  Aarrgghh.

I was so embarrassed but did apologise to those around who looked at me strangely.  I never do stuff like that, it just overcame me.

I was in early WD and my apology was accepted.

It gets better.

Dee  :smitten:

Re: Threw a tantrum like a little kid humiliated
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2018, 11:30:15 pm »

[Buddie]

Vyea I just got into a big fight with my dad and I told him off he asked to help and I told him no and he kept going. And I started a fight with him and cursed him out I don’t feel to bad about it I’ve walked on eggshells a lot and it felt good to say f-u to him
« Last Edit: February 16, 2018, 11:40:26 pm by [Buddie] »

Parents send “gentle giant” to funny house after threats and violence

Son in hospital
« on: December 18, 2017, 06:42:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Anyone here been hospitalized when in full psychosis, and the docs don’t believe you were in w/d and gave you anti-psychotics? That’s what has happened to my son this past few days, due to an episode at our home that involved physical violence, and threats. He’s a really big guy and we had no choice but to call for help.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2017, 06:50:41 pm »

[Buddie]

I truly believed this happened to me 3 weeks ago. I first had a panic attack then started rambling then had an episode of full rage. I was shaking back and forth and had no idea what I was saying or doing.. Wow did it scare me and my parents. I had no control over my actions or thoughts and I don’t remember much of what I did. I finally calmed down but they were also going to call for help. My uncle convinced them they they were only going to give me benzo-like medications to calm me down so they decided not to.

I’m so sorry for your son, I truly hope he gets better. I haven’t had an episode since but my god did it scare us. My mom cried for days afterwards.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2017, 06:52:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 18, 2017, 06:42:17 pm
Anyone here been hospitalized when in full psychosis, and the docs don’t believe you were in w/d and gave you anti-psychotics? That’s what has happened to my son this past few days, due to an episode at our home that involved physical violence, and threats. He’s a really big guy and we had no choice but to call for help.

Awful sorry to read this, […]. 

No, I don’t have any experience of what you have described, but i can well believe it, given the current state of “knowledge” among the medics. What happened to the doc you found who had some understanding of benzo WD?!

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2017, 09:22:26 pm »

[Buddie]

[…]—–I talked about this on another thread I started (sigh, I’ve got to stop that) but the trouble is, that doc who ‘believes’ we use basically for our family doc although he is an internist, and he has referred son to the psychiatrist and others. So he no longer takes care of son’s psych meds. He hates to refer and then “take back” treatment of a patient while he is still seeing the ref. doc, as it is considered sort of ‘bad form” in the doc world, sort of unethical. He has been wonderful tho, about giving us phone advice and helping us through some of this. My hubby has a call into him right now, he should respond by after office hours. Just to pick his brain about how much damage (or good maybe?) these antipsychotics will do his withdrawal process.

[…]—He is listed at the hospital as “allergic to benzos” so that helps. But otherwise, yes, your uncle is right, they might have done so with you. If you were as big as my son (BIG guy) they might have had to take you somewhere, we are just worried that if this happens again, he could end up in jail or worse. This is not the first time he has been talking out of his head or had auditory hallucinations, but this is the first time our ‘gentle giant’ has ever behaved this way. And you’re right, it is so heartbreaking. We are looking for longer term care (which he is against, of course), for his own safety and ours too. Unfortunately. I’m glad you were able to stay home. I’m going to cry like your mom if we have to find a facility for him…for now.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2017, 09:40:48 pm »

[Buddie]

I caught that on the other thread, thanks.

Hugs :smitten:

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2017, 09:59:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Nope but I took anti-psychotics for like a year after I had some terrible hallucinations and other strange things when I tried to take prosac. They might not believe you, but taking anti-psychotics for a bit isn’t the end of the world. I hope it helps.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2017, 10:05:08 pm »

[Buddie]

Nothing like a chemical straight jacket to kill the buzz.
If someone is in extreme mental distress and begging for benzos, It is cruel to disregard them. Anti-psychotics are very disabling drugs, and should not be used on people who are not delusional.
If anti-psychotics are the answer to the problem. It should resolve in a few days.
If not, it is more difficult and you should have your son’s back.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2017, 12:54:56 pm »

[Buddie]

After I crossed over to Librium from Klonopin things became manic for me. On top of that I recently quit Suboxone at the time and started taking kratom daily. At the time, I was taking phenibut as well and switched to baclofen. The day I switched to baclofen, literally day 1 on baclofen….I went to an intensive outpatient group meeting. I was acting weird the entire time. I realized that I forgot to take a baclofen pill on the way to the meeting. I expressed my concern with my dad but he said I would be okay on drive over there. I was pretty much okay I think but I said something that set alarm bells off. I said I wanted to punch my dad over an argument we had and that sometimes I wish he was dead. I kind of yelled it too and was really amped up when I said it. They called the police and they took me to a hospital. Then they sent me to a psychiatric hospital for violent individuals. They would not listen to me. They didn’t care about my withdrawal symptoms. Once you start acting crazy and making threats in a public place it is over. I didn’t hurt anyone either.

They didn’t force me to take antipsychotics but when I was at the hospital they constantly threatened to give me a shot of Haldol and Ativan mixed together. I got injected with it the first day I was there. It was an extremely painful shot. Not a place you want to go. I’m sorry about your son.

Knott’s Berry Farm had a ride called Fear VR: 5150

Fear VR: 5150 will be largely themed to a mysterious medical facility. Guests receive timed tickets, and upon their entry will be greeted by ominous nurses at the Meadowbrook Institute, guests become the latest patients inside the mysterious facility. Once checked-in, the new patients are warned of a dangerous, telekinetic female inmate known as “Katie,” who has just gone missing. Strapped to a specialized wheelchair, patients’ embark on a terrifying tour of the institute.

Regarding the experience itself, eight people at a time are loaded into 4D-effects seats disguised as wheelchairs. Once seated, they are provided with Samsung Gear VR headsets, headphones and a panic button. A safety message will be displayed while each guest’s hands are strapped down to the wheelchair, before beginning their four minutes of terror.

Parkgoers are strapped into chairs, given VR goggles and told to press the “panic button” if the experience becomes overwhelming.

“The journey into terror begins as you’re greeted by so-called medical professionals from some place called Meadowbrook Hospital,” he wrote. “Just go with the flow and sit right down in the wheelchair, and strap on the VR goggles and earphones, basically blocking out any sign of the outside world. A nurse adds arm straps, so you can’t remove the VR equipment on your own. Seconds later comes the horrifying realization that you’re absolutely at the mercy of the hospital staff.

“You are, however, given a ‘panic button’ to push in case the experience is too much. But that doesn’t exactly bring down the anxiety level, does it? For with a panic button comes the understanding that, well, you might need to use it.”

There’s one moment where you feel yourself getting an injection, which is something I imagine has never happened before in a 4D experience”.

Fear VR: 5150

Fear VR: 5150 controversy

For Halloween Haunt in 2016, Knott’s Berry Farm introduced Fear VR: 5150, a virtual reality attraction that was met with controversy from the mental health community regarding the negative portrayal of mental illness.[45] The ten-minute-long attraction immersed guests inside of a chaotic mental hospital haunted by a supernatural central character named Katie and zombie-like patients.[46] The initial controversy came from the attraction’s name, with 5150 referring to the California law that allows a law enforcement officer or clinician to involuntarily commit a person suspected of having a mental illness and determined “a danger to themselves or others”. The backlash was focused on Cedar Fair’s use of painful experiences suffered by those dealing with mental illness and to have it “transmogrified into spooky entertainment”.[45] In response, Cedar Fair removed “5150” from the name, and after continued opposition, permanently closed the attraction on September 28, 2016, only six days after its debut.[47][48] A petition was signed by more than 2,000 people hoping Cedar Fair would bring it back, with the petition’s organizer stating that Cedar Fair shouldn’t be “forced to shut down an attraction based on the words of people who had not even experienced the attraction”.[49]

Cedar Fair initially responded by dropping the “5150” subtitle — code for a possibly disturbed individual who could be a danger to himself or others — from the original “Fear VR: 5150” name, the Voice of OC said

The controversy was reminiscent of the brouhaha that erupted in the Bay Area in 2009 when Psycho Donuts opened in Campbell with straitjacket decor and an array of doughnuts whose names were deemed offensive by the mental health community. A truce was eventually reached, with Psycho toning down the decor and dropping the most egregious names.

http://www.mercurynews.com/2016/09/27/great-america-knotts-berry-farm-pull-plug-on-fearvr-for-halloween/

Professional victim blames doctor for spending three months in psych ward

This is poison - it is criminal to prescribe poison - how can they?
« on: May 01, 2016, 08:51:29 pm »

[Buddie]

Ok – I spent 3 months in a psych ward trying to recover from this stuff – if I had know then what I know now, I never would have touched it – yet Drs ate prescribing this deadly poison every minute of every hour of every day

They used to have to use straight jackets, now they use benzos –

I would have rather been in a straight jacket – at least when the jacket is off you get better

Cult crazy boy RobbedbyBenzos off drugs three years, still nuts

Mad in America: One psych hospital escapee caught, other still on lam


One dangerous man who’d escaped a Washington state psychiatric hospital is now back in custody. But the man he fled with — who’d been committed after being charged with murder — remains on the loose, and a real threat to anyone in his path.

The arrest of 58-year-old Mark Alexander Adams in Des Moines, a city about 15 miles south of downtown Seattle, was cause for relief among police in Lakewood, where Western State Hospital sits.

Still, the fugitive with an even more horrific track record remains on the lam.

That fugitive, Anthony Garver, was first caught in the summer of 2013 for allegedly tying a woman to a bed with electric cords, then stabbing her to death.

Both Garver and Adams had been ruled not competent to stand trial.

Pair ‘got a considerable head start’

Both Garver and Adams had been committed for mental illness treatment to Western State, described on its website as “one of the largest psychiatric hospitals west of the Mississippi” with more than 800 beds.

The two been seen in that medical facility’s dining hall around 6 p.m. Wednesday, according to Lakewood police.

They weren’t noticed missing until about 1½ hours later after having gotten out — likely through a loose window, which roommates told police was manipulated over five months to open enough to escape from, according to Lakewood police spokesman Chris Lawler.

From there, Garver and Adams apparently walked off together.

“They got a considerable head start,” Lawler told CNN affiliate KIRO-TV in Seattle.

Adams took a bus from Lakewood to Federal Way, Washington, arriving there around 10:30 p.m. and asking about how to get to Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, police said on Facebook. Lawler credited a tipster who’d seen media coverage of the escape with spurring authorities to check surveillance footage from there.

“That makes it very difficult to run, when the public is paying attention,” the police spokesman told reporters Thursday.

Considered not competent to stand trial

The two men had been at Western State Hospital since February 2015, but they’d been on authorities’ radar long before then.

Adams was arrested for second-degree assault/domestic violence in 2014 for choking someone, according to Lawler.

And the 28-year-old Garver — who sometimes uses the last name Burke — was wanted on several outstanding authorities in July 2013 when he was charged with murder in the killing of Phillipa S. Evans-Lopez, 20.

Detectives linked Garver to the woman’s death based on evidence from the scene and surveillance video footage showing the two of them together in the days before her death, according to the Snohomish County, Washington, Sheriff’s Office.

Lawler, the Lakewood police spokesman, said Garver has ties to Spokane. But it’s not known if went there, which is why authorities all around the have been cued in to the case.

He urged the public to be on alert but not to try to approach Garver.

“If you just look at the crime itself,” Lawler said of Evans-Lopez’s killing, “obviously, we don’t want someone who has done something like that free.”

50 doctors + 40 hospital trips = joins online cult

Hot  
« on: January 19, 2016, 08:30:52 pm »

[Buddie]

Please! Does anyone else have this?  I feel like I’m being electricuted and burned ALIVE! It won’t let up… I feel the burning sizzling electricity radiating off my body. It goes feom this to extreme fiberglass itching. I LITERALLY feel like I’m being burnt alive by an electeuc fence. It hurts so badly! !!!! My brain buzzes abd sizzles.. I’m losing my will to live! I’m so ill! I’ve seen 50 drs..went to the hospital over 40 times… please don’t tell me to seek help!

Benzo Buddies maniac gets hauled to psych ward for 2 weeks after biting through IV

Re: Angry
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2014, 02:24:32 pm »

[Buddie]

BB’s,

There is so much on this thread that resonates with me. First the memories of the trauma that can bring on severe symtoms. I was on .5mg of K for 3 years and I reached tolerance, was experiencing lots of panic attacks, big one last Halloween while I was walking with my son to go trick or treating, ambulance had to come and get me the whole 9 yards. My son was so scared. He was bummed that mom had to get sick on the best night of the year, etc. I wanted out. I was so tired of being on this drug that was a misdiagnosed script to begin with! The doctor who prescribed it to me told me to just stop. No big deal, your on a low dose anyway….BOOM all hell broke lose, I went MAD – sent my son to school on the bus and overdosed. Woke up 15 hours later in the ER with my sister crying beside my side, rubbing my back, I didn’t know why I was there. It didn’t work!!!! The meds where screwing with my mind so bad I just wanted to die. I bit through the IV, blood all over my face, the bed, screaming at the nurses…I was of course sent to the phych ward for 2 weeks. My poor son scared to death, where is my mommy??????  His dad died the previous year…the docs experimented with me like a lab rat, this drug, that drug…it was pure hell. They kept chasing every ssri or something else with ativan to calm me down. I suggested just the ativan and nothing else…I became stable and when I was able to go home I was sick, depressed, crying all the time, shaking, every symtom we have all read about over and over. After the uptenth time visit to the hospital a nurse practitioner took one look at me and said you are on the wrong medication, we need to get you off. THANK GOD FOR HER. She is still helping with my taper…

Point to my story is when I think about that day I OD I cry, the years that have been stolen from my life, all the pain and suffering, my son. I lost the love of my life in this benzo w/d, he left me last week. He just can’t deal. He doesn’t know what part of this is the real me or the drugs…we didn’t have a lot time together before I started benzo. Some will say I’m better off and maybe…but I’ll never know if I was healthy how we could have been together because I can’t forgive him for leaving me when I needed him most. But I wouldn’t be this sick if it wasn’t for the benzos!!!!! Is this my cross to bare? Why me? Why you? Why all of us? Im so tired of telling my son, I can’t mommy is sick. Boy does he hear that a lot. I can’t wait to be able to do more with him. He sees me when I am well and we do so much together, I try to make up for lost time in those moments.

I’m sorry if I got off track. But benzo free. YES we are all heading in that direction. I can’t wait but know I have to be patient. I know that it will be hard years after I jump. I just got the common cold this week and THAT alone caused a seriously bad wave for days. very bad. just from a cold. SO SAD. Will I ever be normal again? What is normal? I was so healthy before benzos….it angers me so.

Cheers to us all for being strong, brave and riding the hellish wave together.

Love and healing to us all.
[…]

Health budget cuts helped create pro-Scientology anti-psychiatry sites

In the past, the mentally ill could count on mental health help from the government. That help, in the form of financial aid for state and local governments, provided both inpatient and outpatient services for the afflicted. Sadly, that is no longer the case today. Due to severe budget cuts, patients have been tossed – often literally – into the street and left to fend for themselves.
In part, these budget cuts allowed the mushrooming of so-called self-help sites like Benzo Buddies. Computers being reasonably cheap, the Internet became the new asylum for the untreated mentally ill. There was one caveat – there were no doctors running these sites. It truly was, and is, a case of the lunatics running the asylum.
It would not surprise me to find out that embittered benzo forum owners were once psychiatric ward patients forced them into the street by budget cuts. That would go a long way to explaining their hatred of psychiatry and their radicalization. 
State Budget Cuts Slash Mental Health Funding
Source: PBS NewsHour January 2011

Over the past ten days, the story of 22-year-old Jared Loughner, the alleged gunman in the Tucson shootings, has unfolded on news outlets throughout the world. It’s a dark tale of a troubled young man who was growing increasingly out of control — yet it seems neither he nor members of his family realized he needed treatment from mental health professionals.

Until two years ago, there were a number of programs in his community that would have been available to Loughner and his family if they had sought help. Like many places around the country, Pima County had mental health programs for people through both Medicaid and at community health centers. But now those programs have been cut because the state of Arizona is wrestling with a massive budget deficit.

Arizona has long offered mental health services, such as case workers and prescription drug coverage, to residents who don’t qualify for Medicaid, but also don’t have private insurance that covers mental health services. But since 2008, the state has had to slash a whopping $65 million from that program, affecting as many as 28,000 people last year.

Who are they? Mostly residents who’ve been mentally stable for years, being treated with prescription drugs, counseling and group therapy through programs in the area. Now, thousands of patients have lost their case workers, their doctors and access to group therapy, and many have been forced to take generic medications because the state no longer pays for most brand name drugs.

Bill Kennard, executive director of the Arizona chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, said the dramatic change in drug policy meant the formula went from whatever worked to an all-generic formula. So, Kennard said, a patient who finds that a more expensive drug works better for them now has pay for it himself, or switch to a generic drug.

Arizona is not the only place facing massive cuts to mental health services. Across the country, public programs for the mentally ill are on the chopping block because of huge state budget deficits.

Most of those affected by these new cuts are on Medicaid or indigent – and are persons with serious or persistent mental illness, according to Dr. Laurence Miller, who heads the American Psychiatric Association’s Committee on Public and Community Psychiatry.

Miller says nine states have closed down some public psychiatric units and substance abuse programs to save money, including Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Indiana. Mississippi closed 184 beds at its state hospital.

Funding mental health services has always been a challenge in statehouses across the country, Miller says. The lack of an advocating constituency and stigma, he says, are the root of the problem.

And although Medicaid spending in the states has risen, states all over the country have actually cut some Medicaid benefits. But they’re targeted – the new federal health care reform law and the economic stimulus legislation won’t let states cut eligibility requirements without losing federal funding. That means they’re cutting benefits wherever they can, including mental health.

But some analysts say that cutting mental health services now will eventually cost cities and states money, as more people who’ve been cut from these programs become unstable and find themselves in conflict with law enforcement.

In San Francisco, Dr. John Rouse, a psychiatrist at San Francisco General Hospital told The Examiner that “[i]t means more people in jail, it means more people pushing shopping carts down Market Street, it means more wasted resources because it makes it hard to intervene early and cheaply.”

The major provisions of the federal health care reform law are scheduled to take effect in 2014. If left intact, they’ll help solve some of these state budget problems, at least temporarily, as millions of Americans who cannot get mental health coverage through insurance or state programs today will have access to both under the law, and almost all of funding for the expansion of Medicaid will come from Washington for the first few years of implementation.

Between now and then, however, there is a rough road ahead for the nation’s poor — who also happen to be mentally ill.

Documentation

Between 2009 and 2012, states cut a total of $4.35 billion in public mental-health spending from their budgets. According to a report by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, significant cuts to general fund appropriations for state mental health agencies have translated into a severe shortage of services, including housing, community-based treatment and access to psychiatric medications. “Increasingly, emergency rooms, homeless shelters and jails are struggling with the effects of people falling through the cracks,” the report says, “due to lack of needed mental health services and supports.”

The map below shows how states’ spending changed on mental health services between 2009 and 2012. Click on a state to see the specifics.

MAP: Which States Have Cut Treatment For the Mentally Ill the Most?

Watch: Ghosts of the Asylums

Mother Jones’ cover story for May/June 2013, “Schizophrenic. Killer. My Cousin.”, features a collection of eerie, yet beautiful photographs of abandoned mental hospitals. They’re the work of Jeremy Harris, a Brooklyn photographer who began sneaking into these buildings in 2005. In this video Jeremy explains the project and shows off some of the hospital artifacts he’s collected along the way.