Benzo Buddies brainwashing causes member to develop psychosis

The void 🔳 (a feeling of nothingness, anyone experienced this?)
« on: August 26, 2021, 04:53:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi everyone. Hope you are holding on the best you can.

So.

After my setback from antibiotics a year ago (that send me into CT like acute that I’m still recovering from), all the symptoms I had while tapering came back 1000 times worse and then some. But something is totally different. I’ll try my best to describe it. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever gone through.

It’s true that this whole benzo recovery time I have suffered from a severe case of dpdr, confusion, depressions and anhedonia (just to name a few). But now, for this whole year, there is another level to it. While the acute symptoms have started to ease a bit, for months I’ve felt like I am in a void of nothingness. I do not feel like I exist. I do not feel like the world exists. I do not feel anything. I can’t relate to anything. All human things seem pointless. All the drama and wants and needs and problems of humans feel pointless. It’s like I’ve been removed from the matrix and see behind it all.

I’m nowhere. I’m not here but I can’t say where I am. This feeling is beyond the unreality of dpdr. I had dpdr milder when I was in tolerance and it was nothing like this. It’s much deeper and scarier. I feel like I can’t relate to anything. Intellectually I know I am a soul but I can’t even feel my soul. There’s nothing. No memories, no persona, no attachment, no connection to my body, no wants or desires, no desire to live or to die. The most horrible place to be.

The best way to try to describe is this story of a long and bad acid trip that Ram Dass once experienced:
“A void
Gone out of life
Dead flat empty void
At the edge
Frightening
What reality did I stumble into that seemed so empty and dead?
It didn’t have any opposite (life, vibrancy)

The adventure had gone out of life
The smell had gone out of the rose
Like knowing the ending to all mystery books before even reading them
It was all dead, flat, silent void
Nothingness
Everywhere I looked there was nothing”

This is the place I am currently in. Does this sound familiar to any of you? Is it “just” the same brain injury or is this something else like soul loss or dark night of the soul? I cannot seem to comprehend that what on earth might cause a darkness and nothingness like this. Feels it’s beyond the physical world.
« Last Edit: August 26, 2021, 07:33:53 pm by [Buddie] »

Doctor tells cult member they’ve likely developed psychosis from being brainwashed

“Psychotic”
« on: February 03, 2021, 06:41:06 pm »

[Buddie]

I was told today that I might be psychotic (by a mental health professional) because of “[my] delusional beliefs about benzodiazepines causing problems now after such a long time.”

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I may do both.

Brainwashed cult member wants to activate DNR if she has to be intubated from COVID-19, fears being sedated worse than dying

If have you be intubated due to virus....
« on: March 25, 2020, 02:47:07 pm »

[Buddie]

So, let’s hope this doesn’t happen to any of us but I am very concerned about this.

If ppl need to be intubated they are sedated and paralysed apparently.

I am now sensitised to all meds and still tapering.

If they gave me Benzos it would be horrific as you are all aware and I get severe adverse effects to all meds have tried to relax muscles in last year including g hallucinations and terror.

I couldn’t lie flat even on Benzos doe to spinal problems and now even with legs up can’t lie on back.

What the hell are we supposed to do in these circumstances.

I have a DNR in place so not sure if that would prevent them from doing it?

If worked and didn’t cause terror would hope for morphine but unless they were to give me enough to put me out of my misery the effects of that would be horrific as even cocodomol causes my terror etc to get much worse due to allergic sensitisation.

Radiophobia: Benzo Buddies member 4mom’s x-ray panic

Re: Can an X-ray cause sxs? I’m getting one tomorrow?
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2019, 05:26:08 pm »

4mom

My system is super sensitized by lex taper, had severe reactions to almost everything in the universe, magnesium, all meds, supplements, msg, aspartame, I passed out for 15 minutes after a mri for my back. I was not anxious or scared I swear. It’s the strong magnets.

Even that insanely sensitive, I didn’t have reaction to xray

Health emergency: Starving Benzo Buddies member cries out for help after site brainwashes him into fearing ALL food

dont understand, 1 cup of decaff green tea has made me so nauseas.? Anyone
« on: January 22, 2019, 04:38:20 pm »

[Buddie]

My anxiety is so off the wall I can’t function at all. I am trying my very best, but needed something to calm and tried a cup of decaf green tea. Yes it calmed slightly but I feel so very sick now, and I need to be able to eat as I am skin and bone.
Has this happened to anyone else. I am scared of everything now, including food, in case it makes things worse. Even my go to bananas it seems have too much sugar. What can I eat, I don’t know I really am at the end of what I can take. Truly I am
Can’t have bread or grains glutamate reaction can’t have dairy, can’t have fruit, can’t have cruciferous veg, what can I have?
I am in a terrible mess, I want to live please I know you have helped me many times , but can you help me through this fear and panic, and learn how to trust food because I am starving to death, and scared. .I don’t know where to turn but to my friends here. I can’t make a smoothy as I am not in control of the kitchen and too scared to do much anyway.
What is happening to me?

Benzo Buddies member brainwashed into believing drug withdrawal causes organ failure

What risks am i running?
« on: January 12, 2019, 01:28:05 am »

[Buddie]

So I’m bedridden which sucks. Im kind of worried I could just die at any second. In extreme withdrawal. My body is so fatigued and weak. Are siezures the only thing i have to worry about? Or can my body just give out? I heard you can actually have organ failure. Im 30 days out so i dont know how big a risk im running. I want to get vertical again. Being flat on my bed is scaring me. Itd be nice to hear that being so fatigued you cant move won’t kill you. But Idk if thats fact. My body wont just fail right?
« Last Edit: January 12, 2019, 03:46:14 am by [Buddie] »

Another cult death

One dead in stabbing at Scientology’s Australian ‘Advanced Org,’ 16-year-old taken into custody

A Scientologist murdered: Our experts try to make sense of Australia’s ‘Advanced Org’

Scientologists told to seize on Australian stabbing death as a recruiting opportunity