Woman wasting away to nothing in grip of insane Benzo Buddies taper regimen

Family is now concerned
« on: October 03, 2018, 02:41:01 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve been battling Benzo discontinuation syndrome for almost 3 years now. No one but my husband has really ever taken me seriously… must be your original symptoms coming back.. Yada Yada.. well this year my body just started wasting more. I’ve lost weight all along but this year 25 pounds and now I look sick. Now I’m being worried about and being told to see specialists by my parents. I don’t want to see them worry but I don’t have the energy to go through all the testing for all the symptoms I have. I also don’t want to be put under for an upper and lower GI. Their badgering now makes me think it’s something else.. it’s getting in my head and now I think I have cancer.

Re: Family is now concerned
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2018, 10:09:57 am »

[Buddie]

First let me say, I’m glad your husband understands, at least you have someone on your team. Let me akso say, I know it’s hard to get the testing, physically and mentally hard to do…but if you do it, both you and your family can get done relief. Either they treat a bigger problem or they find nothing. Either way it’s a win win situation.

May I ask, off subject, has the lamictal helped you?

Re: Family is now concerned
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2018, 10:29:47 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on October 04, 2018, 10:09:57 am
First let me say, I’m glad your husband understands, at least you have someone on your team. Let me akso say, I know it’s hard to get the testing, physically and mentally hard to do…but if you do it, both you and your family can get done relief. Either they treat a bigger problem or they find nothing. Either way it’s a win win situation.

May I ask, off subject, has the lamictal helped you?

Hello, thanks for responding I did wind up making a appt. to get started with tests starting with blood work. I started the Lamictal the same time I started Klonopin in 2015. I’ve never increased my dose and don’t plan to but yes it did help me greatly at the time. I was having extreme rage and could not be a good parent. I was so hesitant but I had to and lucky for me I have absolutely no issues with it so far… now coming off might be a different story. What I do know is that I can miss a day of taking it and I don’t notice. I hear when I do decide to come off the anger will return but it’s the very last one I plan to remove.

Brainwashed Ashton cult members terrified of full moon

Full moon? Does it effect youv
« on: December 02, 2017, 04:11:26 am »

[Buddie]

Does a full moon rev anyone up? I always see people talking about this

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
 « Reply #1 on: December 02, 2017, 10:40:10 am »

[Buddie]

Not me personally, no. One of the first nights I was actually able to avoid a panic attack.

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2017, 10:53:43 am »

[Buddie]

Yes, and has always affected my sleep before this benzo nightmare.

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2017, 01:34:44 pm »

[Buddie]

Full moon is my friend as well as the universe.

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2017, 02:47:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Yes, For the past five months on the night before the full moon and the night of my blood pressure spikes and I cannot sleep. It happened again last night! Apparently tonight the full moon is suppose to be particularly strong. Not looking forward to it!

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2017, 02:50:30 pm »

[Buddie]

Yes, I have trouble sleeping with a Full Moon, worse with Benzo withdrawal but it had the same effect before I stopped using Diazepam, last night was miserable.

Brainwashed cult member grovels in shame after taking forbidden medication

Need help. I reinstated 2 weeks ago after 6 mos free
« on: November 18, 2017, 06:53:05 pm »

[Buddie]

I know I screwed up. I was on Ativan for 23 years. I didn’t taper correctly for over a year and was always sick. I jumped may 2017. I have been extremely ill ever since. In October 2017 I was getting much worse. I’ve lost 25 lbs, constant nausea vomiting anxiety and no sleep. Internal tremors were nonstop. I went back to the dr and he immediately put me back on Ativan. It’s been 2 weeks. It’s not helping much unless I take at least 3 mg daily. He doesn’t seem to care and I don’t know where to turn. I want to stop taking it and do a proper taper. I don’t know where to turn. Any advice would be appreciated. I am also on 900 mg of neurotin for past 2 years for fibromyalgia

Kook denounces Ashton after Versed used during colonoscopy

Versed planned for colonoscopy - scared to death of Versed
« on: November 13, 2017, 10:20:58 pm »

[Buddie]

On Nov 16 I am scheduled for a colonoscopy and they say they will give Versed and Demerol, but I understand the Versed is a benzo! I suffered pure physical hell for about a year after getting off even the smallest amount of Ativan and I have now been pretty much back to normal for the past few months. I would almost rather die of colon cancer than go through the physical dependency hell again. I am seeing if they can use something else, but my doc says all should be fine with the meds they use. But this is from my doc that was pretty much clueless and reluctant to believe all my prior illness symptoms were from going off Ativan. Any experiences with this Versed stuff for medical procedures? I searched the forum and only found old archives on the subject, but no recent experiences.

I saw on the forum where some say to use Propofol instead, but not sure if my HMO would use that. I wonder if high dose Atarax may take the place of Versed to get me through the procedure. I have taken small amounts of Atarax when having occasional sleep problems and it makes me very groggy even in 1/4 tab dose but no physical dependency hell like a Benzo.

Re: Versed planned for colonoscopy - scared to death of Versed
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2017, 05:56:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Well now its the 19th (3rd day after my procedure with Versed & Demerol) and now I feel worse. It feels like the old Ativan withdrawal symptoms reigniting (weak, nausea, dizzy, chilly & some brain zaps). I actually felt better on the 1st and 2nd day after the procedure, which is why I am thinking withdrawal reignited because I noticed before when on Ativan that it was usually day 2 or 3 when I would start to feel bad when stopping Ativan. Anyway I sure hope I am not going back into full withdrawal where it will take me another 9 months to a year to feel better. I should have opted for Demerol alone and not the Versed for the Colonoscopy but I chickened out and listened to the medical team that I should be ok. So, now I suffer for listening to medical staff. I am just not sure how long I will suffer of if it will get worse in the days ahead. All I know is that I am starting to experience the familiar benzo withdrawl symptoms. Any others had such experience? I am just a bit concerned of what I may have to deal with going ahead. Although this is not the same circumstance, I suppose the situation with the Versed may be similar to someone that was benzo free but then slipped and took a benzo again. So although the Ashton Manual says Versed will not cause benzo withdrawl to return, I would suggest to watch out!!! My bad, so now I have to live with it!! I sure wish I saw the members posts mentioned above sooner, since my procedure was already on the 16th. I am also 60+ so who knows, age & prior benzo problems may have something to do with it too. Hindsight is painful!!
« Last Edit: November 19, 2017, 06:22:51 pm by [Buddie] »

Benzo Buddies fanatic begs cult’s permission to get a dog

Dogs
« on: October 17, 2017, 12:36:38 pm »

[Buddie]

Is a dog a good idea or a bad idea. 12 months out still not too well. My wife bought a puppy for me.

Ashton disciples compare themselves to insects

Our Pupa stage
« on: September 30, 2017, 08:43:49 pm »

[Buddie]

Even though this is an otherworldly, hellish experience. We just have to be patient until we are healed and are stronger and more beautiful inside and out!

My draw-ring for today:

http://anxiousinklings.com

Best 🙂
« Last Edit: September 30, 2017, 09:13:40 pm by [Buddie] »