Doctor bashers bully suicidal patient

I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
 « on: November 17, 2017, 05:19:42 am »


I’m trying so hard not to go back on Klonopin but I can’t take much more of this. My anxiety and akathisia is so bad I feel like I’m stuck in a never ending panic attack. How can I be feeling this bad 15 months off benzos? I feel worse now than I did when I started my taper.

edit: self-harm reference removed.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2017, 05:39:29 am by [Buddie] »

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2017, 05:31:28 am »


Hi […],
Your 15 months off this crap, you hang in there!!!!
It does get better. I’m just about 17 months off and life is good. You can do this. Reinstatement could make things worse then what’s going on now.
Think it threw real good before you do that.
Imo if you’ve went threw 15 months your very close to feeling better.
Don’t give up !!
We all heal !! Yeah I know waiting is hard with symptoms. But distract and stay positive. It’s coming 😁😁 […]

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2017, 06:09:14 am »


Keep battling!!!!

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2017, 06:18:00 am »


I’m sorry that you’re feeling so bad. How did you do your withdrawal? I’m just curious. Your signature just says that you jumped.

Anyway, I agree with […] that you should try to not reinstate. There was a reason that you decided to stop taking klonopin. It wasn’t working for you in some respect. Going back on it will probably just bring that problem up again.

It doesn’t help to compare time lines. People heal at different rates. I don’t think anybody understands why it’s that way or can predict who will heal faster/slower. A few days ago, I read a very positive post from a buddie who had been feeling very poorly for longer than you have, and in the past two months, it’s gotten significantly better for her.

How are you doing otherwise? Are you eating well? What kinds of things are you still able to do? Sucks that you’re suffering from akathisia. Does that prevent you from getting out or are you just uncomfortable in certain situations? I think people who are able to get out and at least take a long walk are better able to cope with their anxiety. Long walks are great distractions. I rode a bike a lot during my withdrawal. Not very fast, but sometimes for hours.

I need to mention that I removed part of a sentence from your original post on this thread. It referred to thoughts of self-harm and those kinds of comments can be really upsetting to some of our members. Many are just as anxious as you, and they don’t need any extra ‘excitement’. I hope you understand.

I know this ordeal is difficult, but for those who see it through, it works out. Try to relax as best you can. Distraction and mindfulness are your allies. Hang in there, and try not to despair.

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2017, 09:17:43 am »


I know I shouldn’t reinstate Klonopin but if I can’t cope, I don’t really have a choice. Klonopin completely ruined my life. I’m actually seeing a psychologist in January for disability benefits because there’s no way I can work with the tremendous amount of anxiety and depression I experience on a daily basis. I feel like a totally different person. I don’t enjoy any of the activities that I used to enjoy. I used to build computers and program applications for fun. I’ve totally lost interest in that. It’s like I’m stuck in a dysphoric state of mind and nothing satisfies me anymore. Distracting myself is nearly impossible because I can’t get my problems and thoughts of harming myself out of my head. Also, I’ve turned into a recluse because it’s become extremely hard for me to talk to people. I can’t hold a conversation. I speak in very short and sometimes incomplete sentences. I’m hoping the psychologist will notice all of this so I get disability benefits.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2017, 09:22:45 am by [Buddie] »

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2017, 09:36:45 am »


Quote from: [Buddie] on November 17, 2017, 05:19:42 am
I’m trying so hard not to go back on Klonopin but I can’t take much more of this. My anxiety and akathisia is so bad I feel like I’m stuck in a never ending panic attack. How can I be feeling this bad 15 months off benzos? I feel worse now than I did when I started my taper.

edit: self-harm reference removed.

Hi […]  I know its a little further out than you are now but I’m sure you’d be more than welcomed to join this group their nice people its the 18 to 30 month post jump group;topicseen. I hope its of help to you 

Love […] xxx 

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2017, 12:46:57 pm »


Are you taking any other poison right now that doctor prescribed you?

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2017, 03:55:42 pm »


Nope, I’m not taking any prescription medication.

Re: I might have to reinstate Klonopin.
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2017, 07:55:00 pm »


Hang in there. Kpin turned it’s back on me and I would never take that rat poison again. If I took it again, I feel it would makes things even worse.


A Dialogue With Baylissa

“Please don’t let Mike59 freak you out. He struggles with a deeply emotionally disturbed and scared ‘vulnerable child within’ (wow… how is that for a diagnosis? 🙂 Damn I’m good (I say humbly)… Teehee.”

Who are you to diagnose me with anything? I’m not struggling with anything.

“He is a cyberbully and stalker which means he is a coward.”

Calling me a stalker smacks of libel to me. I am not stalking, nor have I ever stalked, anyone.

“Let a Chuck Norris type/look-alike write something and see if he will put it on his site.”

Find your “Chuck Norris type” and I will gladly accommodate you. This statement of yours comes off as a sick fantasy of me being beaten to a pulp. Are you okay? You don’t sound okay.

“Years ago I was concerned about what he used to put on his page, (mainly because it made so many people upset), and I eventually had them removed.”

I’ve never removed, at your request, anything about you from this site. There has never been a single request from you to remove one pixel of content – not one pixel. You’re lying to your followers.

“I have successfully sued the Daily Mail for defamation – something all the lawyers I contacted said was one of the most difficult things to do, some said impossible – so much so that people just allow them to get away with it.”

You’re not going to intimidate me. I have the right of free speech and that right is protected under U.S. law – the highest U.S. law – the Constitution. If you, or anyone else, feels I’ve libeled them please hire an attorney and take me to court. I welcome it.

Former cult members speak out on cult suicides

Submitted on 2011/10/13 at 6:04 pm

They ARE responsible for Darrin dying!!!! Adding a disclaimer to the signature line AFTER the fact is nothing but a knee jerk reaction!!!! Where was this disclaimer when Darrin was posting?Would you tell a diabetic not to take insulin because the doctors and pharmacies are in cohoots??????? So EVERY psychiatrist is an unethical dumbass? SO NO ONE actually suffers FROM A MENTAL CONDITION!!!!!!!!!! Why is that??? because mental conditions DO NOT EXIST!!!!! Oh now that makes sense. So really the field of psychiatry is total bullshit!Hey lets post MENTAL CONDITIONS DO NOT EXIST AND THAT is why we should ALL GET OFF OUR MEDS. What kind of brainwashing bullshit is that!

Submitted on 2011/10/14 at 7:52 am

and the ideal candidate must believe and swear on their life to uphold the Benzo Bud Creed: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MENTAL ILLNESS

Submitted on 2011/10/17 at 3:03 pm

Darrin’s family informed the BB of his death. Any chance they can be contacted and made aware of the dangerous advice Darrin was being told?Does Pamster think about his family and what they have endured thanks to BB’s “no drugs” dogma. They lost a loved one and will grieve him every holiday season. BB cult should have to do the same!He died Christmas Eve! How horrible for the family. Pamster should have to endure the weight of his death every single Christmas!!!the aftermath of that Christmas and every other Christmas since this occurred.

Submitted on 2011/10/18 at 7:54 am

This stuff so angers me! Guy needs to follow doc advice while seeking another opinion from another doctor. Instead he gets this:“hang in there”
“hang in there”
they love to say that…..
maybe he can hang himself and then he will be “hanging in there”!!!!!

Submitted on 2011/10/21 at 7:00 am

Wow, so she tells this person NOT TO POST SUICIDAL PLANS because we all know that if you don’t post it then it won’t happen right?

So a suicidal person should just not talk about it because it is not appropriate. I guess she should go kill herself quietly and not tell anyone.

If she does then she is to be REPORTED and then what Pam, you plan to BAN HER?

Telling people to get off medications and then telling them depression is a common side effect AND THEN telling them NOT to discuss the depression is truly MADNESS!!!!!!

Submitted on 2011/10/21 at 2:52 pm

according to the Benzo Buddies, it is ALL JUST BENZO WITHDRAWAL!!! and there is no such things as Mental Illness, so I guess there is no need to encourage her to see a doctor, plus he may put her on meds (gasp_drugs)

Submitted on 2011/10/23 at 2:21 pm

Encourage the poor woman to get some sleep!Get some sleep before you get more depressed.Seroquel, and Zyprexa which are a new class of atypical anti-psychotics thus THEY ARE NOT BENZO NOR IN THE SAME FAMILY are sometimes used for sleep aid. ….”they might think it is psychiatric”…. duh? well yes!
don’t be so damn afraid woman and stop listening to the “ANTI-DRUG” RHETORIC and get some medication and get some damn sleep!

Submitted on 2011/10/24 at 7:55 am

It frustrates me when people are diagnosed while in benzo withdrawal, of course we’ll fit many labels, depression, GAD, bipolar, psychosis to name a few.PSYCHOSIS, WTF, THAT IS SERIOUS AND I DOUBT IT CAN BE BLAMED ON BENZO WITHDRAWAL!

Submitted on 2011/10/28 at 7:11 am

Benzo Buddie Team is a “smidge” above just a regular nobody. I thank this website for Pamsters demotion, it shows Colin is getting scared. This site keeps attacking Pam for her dangerous comments and for the Darrin suicide, so it was time for Colin to throw her under the bus.A moderator who was a friend of mine, was demoted and eventually BANNED based on too much joking around and for having a humorous slogan in his signature line. “Humor is the Best Medicine” apparently doesn’t apply at that site…

Submitted on 2011/10/31 at 5:01 pm

hey Pamster! tell this new one to stay on her ambien and deal with what she thinks are “left over” xanax issues first. Is Ambien evil also….????oh yea, to you ALL PSYCH DRUGS ARE EVIL.

Submitted on 2011/11/01 at 9:23 pm

WOW, so basically this person is being told by Pam to “shut up” about her depression and show some COMPASSION for the other people on this site.

So we go from telling them that depression is a normal symptom and that if they are on any psych medications to get off of them, but if AS A RESULT OF BB’s advice it gets out of hand then shut up about it and go away!!!!

Looks like you guys are trying to cover your @$$!!!!!!

Submitted on 2011/12/12 at 9:22 am

Pamster, This is mavila1331 and I am one of the many many people who shared info with Mike59, and I am very glad for my role.Why, because your site was dangerous.We can look briefly at my situation.
In my situation, I went through an inpatient rapid xanax detox and put on much safer klonopin.

I then needed to of seen an outpatient doctor who would of raised the klonopin to a level where I could function and THEN SLOWLY TAPERED OVER TIME from that benzo.

This would have allowed me to work and to be with my family.

Instead I stayed with you guys and suffered horrible benzo tolerance withdrawal. My spouse had to do EVERYTHING for me….I could not even BATHE, much less be a wife.

Eventually he went away to someone who was there for him. My daughter who is bipolar became suicidal and remains on a precarious path. (do you see the RIPPLE EFFECT PAM! )

Now a few words regarding other members

I have been appalled at the suicidal feelings expressed by members and of how they are told to “hang in there” its just those pesky benzo’s.

OOps you killed yourself? Oh well, hide it from other members or downplay it so others won’t realize that maybe Benzo Buddies is WRONG, regarding the pesky benzo depression.

I have never forgiven any of you for Darrin’s suicide or for any suicide influenced by your site.

Your site supported people getting off all their psych medication, with you CHEERING all along. Did you know anything about these people mental history that made it okay for them to stop all psych drugs, even ones that treat for psychosis???

I was horrified at how members were SUPPORTED when they shared their fear of telling their doctor about the desire to die because they may go inpatient and be put on “drugs”.

Every time I tried to ADVOCATE FOR THEIR SAFETY, YOU, PAM, would move my posts, or tell me how I had an agenda and to stop posting the same advice for everyone on the “Depression” section, or one of your goonies would then post discrediting what I had said.

Maybe you should educate yourself and read about mental illness. I have lived with someone with depression who killed himself-my father.

When I shared this, it was always ignored since it went against the “all psych drugs” are bad motto and
I kept TRYING TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT SUICIDE IS REAL!!!!! I kept using my father as an example of someone who DID NOT TAKE HIS MEDS and that we can’t judge the severity of other member’s depression and tell them it will pass..

You, Pam and your group kept burying the post and supporting your GET OFF ALL DRUGS.

It is sad because Benzo Buddies was suppose to be about getting off benzo’s and then you allowed it to become a life sucking monster… Pushing people to drop ALL their psych medication.

You caused people with mental illness to suffer needlessly. I hope I can someday forgive you for Darrin’s suicide and I hope someday his family can forgive you for literally killing Darrin last Christmas!!!!

Merry Christmas Pam!