Tag Archives: DRINK YOUR KOOK-AID

Benzo Buddies members drink booze, snort ketamine to deal with failed benzo tapers

Posted on by 
Alcohol setback
« on: July 20, 2019, 06:21:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Drank some beer about two weeks ago, and a few hours later I started to feel this weird electric feeling in my chest and my sleep got way worse. Over the next few days I started having all sorts of weird physical sensations. It felt like electricity was surging through my body, my skin was burning, and I had this weird electric butterflies in my stomach type feeling. Horrible anxiety set in, I started to feel like I was losing my mind, and my sleep got worse and worse. The anxiety has faded pretty much entirely and I’m having less of the weird bodily sensations, but my sleep SUCKS now. I’m getting 1-2 hours a night. I was doing so much better before I drank. I felt like I was finally turning a big corner. I was mostly getting 4-6 hours of sleep a night, sometimes a bit more, without taking anything to help me sleep.

I’m 13.5 months off, and am pretty concerned about this lack of sleep. It’s like I’m back to where I was at the start of my withdrawal with sleep.
Anybody else experienced something similar?

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2019, 06:39:11 pm »

[Buddie]

Oops I meant to post this in the post withdrawal recovery support section

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2019, 07:41:32 pm »

[Buddie]

I am sure one of the mods or admins will move it soon. How much beer did you drink?

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2019, 07:51:05 pm »

[Buddie]

Only one tall glass of beer. This is crazy.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2019, 08:38:35 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 20, 2019, 06:39:11 pm
Oops I meant to post this in the post withdrawal recovery support section

I’ll move this over to the Post Withdrawal Support Board! :thumbsup:

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2019, 08:42:41 pm »

[Buddie]

Drinking alcoholic beverages tends to be a highly charged topic here. For some, perhaps many people, drinking can cause a return of withdrawal symptoms. Others may be able to tolerate it fine.

I’ll just share my personal experience. I am not a big drinker, just a glass of wine on occasion and a mixed drink even less often. However, I did not drink anything, not one sip, until I was completely healed. Even then, I didn’t have a drink right away, it took some time.

I’ve been recovered for many years now and do enjoy a glass of wine or a mixed drink at times with no ill effects. Everyone is different in this regard. Personally, I would not rush into beer again if you had a negative reaction.

[…] 🙂

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2019, 09:20:51 pm »

[Buddie]

I had one small glass of wine after many weeks of feeling better. I then had many weeks of feeling worse! And it happened pretty immediately. No more alcohol for me.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2019, 01:09:30 am »

[Buddie]

Two beers set me back for a month. Still not where I was prior to the beers. Im alcohol free for the foreseeable future.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2019, 01:14:23 am »

[Buddie]

I experimented with drinking wine a year off my taper. First 1/4 glass, then 1/2 glass, then a whole glass. 3 oz. No problems. So now I drink a glass of wine a couple of times a week.

But everyone is different. How alcohol will affect us is a crap shoot imo. I would definitely wait awhile before trying beer again. And then maybe a small glass.

Hope your sleep improves.

[…]

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2019, 10:37:53 am »

[Buddie]

4 months after finishing a long benzo taper, I slammed 5.5 beers within a two hour period or less. I had to pour out the rest of the 6th beer after realizing that I messed myself up. I was back in acute for several weeks but recovered after a solid month or so. It’s been 18 months since I touched alcohol. I’ve messed with small quantities from tinctures though without any ill effects. I suspect I can have a few drinks if I wanted to now but I just wrapped up tapering some other stuff. I’m thinking by the new year I can drink in moderation hopefully, assuming things work out for me. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m stuck with a bunch of people drinking and I can’t, snorting ketamine helps me get through it, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out so much. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation anyways. I can never go back to binge drinking anyways, which may lead back to benzos. I distinctly recall starting to take benzos to cope with hangovers in the beginning.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2019, 10:53:20 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 21, 2019, 10:37:53 am
4 months after finishing a long benzo taper, I slammed 5.5 beers within a two hour period or less. I had to pour out the rest of the 6th beer after realizing that I messed myself up. I was back in acute for several weeks but recovered after a solid month or so. It’s been 18 months since I touched alcohol. I’ve messed with small quantities from tinctures though without any ill effects. I suspect I can have a few drinks if I wanted to now but I just wrapped up tapering some other stuff. I’m thinking by the new year I can drink in moderation hopefully, assuming things work out for me. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m stuck with a bunch of people drinking and I can’t, snorting ketamine helps me get through it, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out so much. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation anyways. I can never go back to binge drinking anyways, which may lead back to benzos. I distinctly recall starting to take benzos to cope with hangovers in the beginning.

I think you should stop snorting Ketamine.

This butterfly wants to fly (get shit-faced)

Posted on by 

This butterfly wants to fly now ....so stressed
« on: May 27, 2019, 07:23:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Recently I have been under A LOT of stress everything has just piled up and I been having chest pains it then gives me more anxiety and adds more stress and worry. The pains feel like a pinch right where my heart is.

Then recently past few days I have been feeling kind of numb no motivation not much energy just want to be on the couch the whole day.

When is it safe to have a drink I’m 8 months off and I have had a drink just on certain occasions.

Can anyone relate? How do you deal with stress?

Super-rich drug abuser wants to cold turkey 50 zillion drugs

Posted on by 
Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« on: May 10, 2019, 02:04:05 am »

[Buddie]

CT Klonopin .5mg, Seroquel XR150mg, Cigarettes, and everthing. I going to restrict myself with no phone and on call support for meals, and I did pay for 2 years of bills today. And food for three months in deep freezer and eat to make meals. I’m prepared for the worst like my health anxiety, and best on normal ground to deal every day stuff. I only took drugs for sleep but sleep dep and sleep med side effects, WD and sleep anxiety cause al sort of s***! No normal human should indure. I have been off K before 3 weeks and moderate sx’s. My last WD.
I been through it all already. F-it.

P.S. I have been up in the past with insomnia for 22 days straight documented in med history. So what do you think is worst! Your stomach, or sweats, or a nightmare, I have had it all. So I”m burnout and say F_it!

P.S. I went through 16 meds for a month at a time each with dieffernt doasages, and highest recommended strengths for sleep this past 13 months. EX: Ambien CR 12.5 at 2 at bedtime. I have taken sleep meds to the max extreme also this last year. And it only prolonged the insomnia with side effects and wd from them also. To me a 12-pk of beer and a 1/8 mg of K is fine by me.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2019, 03:09:27 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2019, 02:18:03 am »

[Buddie]

TrenchMob,

I am worried about you. That is a lot to quit all at once.

Do you live with family or have family close by to double check on you?

Please be careful and stay safe.

Re: Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2019, 02:26:34 am »

[Buddie]

I too am worried. You do risk having to reinstate which may cause more issues in the future. Is there a reason you want to jump from such a high dose? I highly advise against it. I was on .5 milligrams of klonopin as well and cut it to 50% and it was very difficult. I then cut to .125 and i had to updose it was so bad. I know you have likely read your share of horror stories and I’m not trying to scare you. I just know what it feels like and you are at a pretty high dose to jump from. If you don’t have to, I wouldn’t.

Re: Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2019, 02:31:13 am »

[Buddie]

CTs are not the way to go. They aren’t safe despite what you hear on here from one person in particular but others as well. You’re creating a situation where you’re at a really high risk of losing your life when you CT not to mention psychosis that can complicate and screw up your mental health for life. It’s a fact that once you have one attempt or a psychotic episode you’re at higher risk of having them again throughout your life. Don’t do that to yourself. Do a rapid taper if you need to and get in person support to minimize those risks but a CT is just harming yourself. People are here to support you and there have been so many who’ve gone off the medication some of which didn’t make it but we’ve benefitted from their experiences and you can too.

Re: Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2019, 02:37:25 am »

[Buddie]

Well I can’t CT tonight, drinking hard for one normal night in a long time, But will not take meds tonight. Will wait with hungover 1-2 days. Than continue taper at Seroquel first than K. Yes, I do live with family and well off. Everything is paid for the house,cars, and everything else. $$$$$$$$$. But if need to i’m a hard ass extremist but I don’t to view that now since Benzos affected half of my life so far now with tolereance WD and now taper. F-it its a low dose CT now with 4 other CT’s.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2019, 02:44:30 am by [Buddie] »

Cult member turns to alcohol to feel normal after benzo taper fails

Posted on by 
Where to live? Dilema
« on: May 07, 2019, 04:52:24 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi everyone,

I need to make a major life decision and whilst I have people who care for me trying to help I feel like the only people who can truly understand the factors involved in a decision like this are others who have gone through or are going through b.withdrawal. Therefore any comments on this would be hugely appreciated.

I’m due to move house next month but the area I want to move to is very expensive. The reason why I want to move there is because I have some friends and contacts there, and feel I’d be able to my life forward. Whilst going through withdrawal I’ve been making some extra income with art and illustration and think this city will facilitate being able to take that to a career-level. (Which is also amazing therapy). I have also been producing some music remotely with a guy who lives near there and if I moved closer we’d take the music to another level too. In a nutshell I feel like it’s the place to be to start getting myself back on my feet and feel some sense of ‘living’ and working again, even whilst still in recovery.

I’ve lived in numerous different cities and across two countries for work throughout my twenties but I turn 31 next week and I’d like to put some roots down – which this city feels right for.

One major thing is the fact that since being in withdrawal I have been relying on alcohol to feel ‘normal’ when going out and about. It’s not been regular, I’d say I’ve been housebound on average 5 days a week and then will have a couple of glasses of wine to meet up with family for example at the weekend – that kinda thing. It’s something I’m deeply ashamed of, although now I understand this was due to withdrawal. But, I know in order to make a full recovery I need to steer clear of it, maybe for a year and allow the brain to heal. That’s my goal. To do that living alone seems like the best option, rather than with a housemate. If I’m around people when I’m feeling particularly bad it’s too tempting sometimes to have some wine to ease the symptoms (otherwise literally the symptoms can get so bad people call for paramedics despite trying to suppress/stop them).

It seems the most realistically way to do this self-styled ‘rehab’ is to be in an environment that I can control. I’ve also had bad luck with housemates during my twenties where they’ve always turned out to be slightly nuts and I don’t think I can handle the stress of that again, especially at the moment.

However, the cost to rent a studio place is above what I can afford whilst relying on disability support (due to withdrawal). I’m two and half years into this and hopeful in a year or so I will recover and therefore be able to work again. So my friends and family are encouraging me to get something above my budget, even offering to help financially a little in the beginning and telling me to be positive that I’ll be able to work again soon. But, as we all know from BW it’s unpredictable and it’s one thing being positive I will be able to work again soon, it feels like another thing betting the roof over my head on it.

So here are the options I’ve come up with but I’m just going round in circles in my head trying to figure this out – hence reaching out on here.

Option one:
I rent something suitable for my health, slightly above my budget, accept some help from my father and work hard to get my art and design business off the ground to sustain the payments. Risk: fail to meet payments – have to move again.

Option two:
Share with someone. Cheaper but not ideal for a ‘rehab’ environment or lifestyle and probably not much space to grow the art business (I work quite large). Risk: using alcohol to keep up appearances / stressful situations with housemate/s – have to move out again.

Option three:
Rent a studio in a different part of the country. In my budget we’re looking at somewhere fairly rural/crappy city. Risk: feeling isolated / lack of opportunities and friends. Mental health could suffer.

My closest confident that I’ve known for ten plus years, who’s seen me go through this from day one, got frustrated with me for not being able to just pull myself together and got a full time job so I can afford a studio in this city. My Dad is encouraging me to ‘think positive’ and ‘take the adventurous risk’, but it’s exacerbating trying to explain that just getting through this is being positive, and that it’s a balance between being positive and being prepared for any worst case scenarios/risks.

I don’t think (understandably) anyone fully understands the mental and physical challenges that come with BW. There are days when I just feel I need to be alone to recharge, not putting on a brave face to housemates, and equally I want to be able to go out and do things that lift my spirits (meet gallery owners / record music) when I feel able to. NB – I find travelling challenging too at the moment (and currently don’t drive) so being within a short walking/cycling distance to a community feels pretty key.

I want to live in my own little safe space where I can recover at my own pace, sustainably without financial stress, in a community that encourages some socialisation and a brighter future. It just seems like I can have two of these things, not all three.

Any suggestions from anyone?
(Thank you)

Blue Listerine sends kook to Neverland

Posted on by 

Blue Listerine made symptoms worse
« on: April 11, 2019, 09:34:15 pm »

[Buddie]

I don’t know how many times this has happened–symptoms get unbearable worse and I have no idea why until I realize some small thing I’ve done for the last few days has caused it like coconut oil, erythitol, chia seeds, oat bran, Mometasone (cortisone / hydrocortisone) cream, and this last time, Listerine. Stopped using Listerine and feeling better. Just posting in case anyone else wondered if any of these same thing were affecting them.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2019, 10:39:18 pm by [Buddie] »

Benzo Buddies kooks talk each other into drinking steaming cups of bullshit (bone broth) as magic benzo cure

Posted on by 

Anyone drinking bone broth?
« on: February 02, 2018, 11:25:14 pm »

[Buddie]

I ordered Osso bone broth and made sure it was MSG free, gluten free, etc. since a Google and FB are intertwined…I got pop up ads about the bone broth. Now I’ve read that it is high in glutamate…still trying to figure out what that is. Anyone else drinking bone broth during withdrawal and tapering? Now I don’t know what to do…

Re: Anyone drinking bone broth?
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2018, 05:04:49 am »

[Buddie]

I’ve been drinking plenty of bone broth throughout withdrawal. It’s very healing to the gut lining and supplies good minerals to the body.

Some buddies say it can rev you up due to glutamate, but I’ve not had any problems with it. I would try a small amount, if I were you, and see how things go. Good luck!

Re: Anyone drinking bone broth?
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2018, 06:04:20 am »

[Buddie]

I don’t drink it, but I heard it’s very good for healing from benzos.

Site mascot Flicko the Sicko starts GoFundMe for lyme disease treatments, CBD oil business, and new Prius

Posted on by

This is an urgent and life and death matter for me, because I will be literally in the street at the end of this month and I don’t think I can survive in the street with lyme disease.

I’m on the verge of becoming homeless and losing my precious 4 cats.

Wow $385 in the first two hours! Thanks!

The tofu was marinated in yeast and tamari and tasted kind of like chicken.

I need money to pay my past due bills and rent, and money to start a new online herbal tincture business for lyme disease patients. My good friend also manufactures the best CBD oil and wants me to market it online too. I also need money to continue all my lyme disease natural treatments.

I have been getting some nice donations today and hope to break $3000 today! My revised goal is $5000. which is a lot more realistic than $25,000 LOL

Thanks to all my devotee friends who have donated in the past day!

I felt like I was really in direct service to Beloved Adi DA.

I got to sit with Beloved Adi Da in the big hall, where He gave Darshan and answered questions from all, and even took complaints. It was a very very intense evening, but I felt His Transmission strongly.

I also need money for a down payment for a Prius so I can work for Uber while my business ramps up.

Almost broke the $3000 mark today It would be good to get to $3500 today because I know these gofundme things wear out fast LOL My new goal is $5000 , not $25,000

This is going great for one day! Thanks to all devotees helping!

Well, the link got shut down for a day, but I am glad it is up again. Part of my story was deleted, though

I pray that my campaign will pick up again soon. I am kind of stalled at $2387 and, now would like to bring in $5000 as a goal.

I remember very fondly being the cook and janitor at the original Big Wisdom school in Sleepy Hollow. All the kids were very young then and I loved talking with them.

I am grateful for my friend Roger setting this up for me on the Matrix. I started one also, but it all goes on Facebook, where a lot of devotees don’t spend any time.

I would love to make it to $4000!

Wow , my campaign has almost died out, but I would love to be able to still reach 4000 Thanks to all who donated and I hope there are a few out there I reached out to who will still chip in some and help me get to $4000! Thanks

I just need $550 more from this campaign, and I can start my tincture business and have a down payment for a Prius so I can work some that way driving in San Fran. I am not looking for handouts, really, just help to be able to make a living while I am still sick with lyme disease . Thanks to Bruce and Swanzie for the donations yesterday!

Any help for me and my cats would be most appreciated

https://www.gofundme.com/flick-back-in-business

https://www.gofundme.com/gc5dkbjw

Kooks howl as Professor of Nursing claims sites like Benzo Buddies are full of people with borderline personality disorder

Posted on by 
False Charge: BB Is Full of People with BPD
« on: December 26, 2017, 10:20:24 pm »

[Buddie]

I have a psych nurse friend who is convinced that online forums, such as BB, are full of people with borderline personality disorders implying that they (the forums) should be avoided. She is a professor of nursing at a highly prestigious university’s graduate school of nursing and has a Post Masters in Psych-Mental Health Nursing. She teaches graduate and doctoral students in that same program.

She has also made statements such as, “You may need to be on psych meds the rest of your life like a diabetic needs insulin.” As we know, these are statements that those in the uninformed medical community make when they are not educated about the risks of psych meds, having drunk the Kool-Aid of Big Pharma.

Is there any information I can use to counter this claim of “forums are full of people with BPD”?

Kook denounces Ashton after Versed used during colonoscopy

Posted on by 

Versed planned for colonoscopy - scared to death of Versed
« on: November 13, 2017, 10:20:58 pm »

[Buddie]

On Nov 16 I am scheduled for a colonoscopy and they say they will give Versed and Demerol, but I understand the Versed is a benzo! I suffered pure physical hell for about a year after getting off even the smallest amount of Ativan and I have now been pretty much back to normal for the past few months. I would almost rather die of colon cancer than go through the physical dependency hell again. I am seeing if they can use something else, but my doc says all should be fine with the meds they use. But this is from my doc that was pretty much clueless and reluctant to believe all my prior illness symptoms were from going off Ativan. Any experiences with this Versed stuff for medical procedures? I searched the forum and only found old archives on the subject, but no recent experiences.

I saw on the forum where some say to use Propofol instead, but not sure if my HMO would use that. I wonder if high dose Atarax may take the place of Versed to get me through the procedure. I have taken small amounts of Atarax when having occasional sleep problems and it makes me very groggy even in 1/4 tab dose but no physical dependency hell like a Benzo.

Re: Versed planned for colonoscopy - scared to death of Versed
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2017, 05:56:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Well now its the 19th (3rd day after my procedure with Versed & Demerol) and now I feel worse. It feels like the old Ativan withdrawal symptoms reigniting (weak, nausea, dizzy, chilly & some brain zaps). I actually felt better on the 1st and 2nd day after the procedure, which is why I am thinking withdrawal reignited because I noticed before when on Ativan that it was usually day 2 or 3 when I would start to feel bad when stopping Ativan. Anyway I sure hope I am not going back into full withdrawal where it will take me another 9 months to a year to feel better. I should have opted for Demerol alone and not the Versed for the Colonoscopy but I chickened out and listened to the medical team that I should be ok. So, now I suffer for listening to medical staff. I am just not sure how long I will suffer of if it will get worse in the days ahead. All I know is that I am starting to experience the familiar benzo withdrawl symptoms. Any others had such experience? I am just a bit concerned of what I may have to deal with going ahead. Although this is not the same circumstance, I suppose the situation with the Versed may be similar to someone that was benzo free but then slipped and took a benzo again. So although the Ashton Manual says Versed will not cause benzo withdrawl to return, I would suggest to watch out!!! My bad, so now I have to live with it!! I sure wish I saw the members posts mentioned above sooner, since my procedure was already on the 16th. I am also 60+ so who knows, age & prior benzo problems may have something to do with it too. Hindsight is painful!!
« Last Edit: November 19, 2017, 06:22:51 pm by [Buddie] »

Renegade member accuses Benzo Buddies of being a cult

Posted on by 
Re: Mclean's Hospital Boston MA
« Reply #53 on: July 25, 2017, 04:46:11 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 25, 2017, 02:48:46 pm
Quote from: [Buddie] on July 25, 2017, 02:26:48 pm
I am just looking for a doctor or two to help me in my journey with this challenging problem.

I think people on this thread are reading a lot of their own experiences into a very benign internet article.

The link you posted is not a benign internet article.

It is a sales pitch from McLean Hospital. Please reread it.

http://www.mcleanhospital.org/news/2016/08/02/tapering-addictive-therapies

[…],

Really?? It’s just an article. Not advertised on Twitter or YouTube or anything else.

Just a stupid article that I had to dig to find for after numerous upon numerous attempts on Google search.

I already talked to a doctor there that said you shouldn’t do more that a cut of 10% and that you can do liquid titration.

People here are a little overboard. Now I can see where the claims that this place is a cult are coming from (probably some upset ex-members).

The article does not say it’s going to be easy. Please show me where that is implied.

Oy vay! I’m starting to think this is a misery loves company forum and I really just came here for some help — not to be talked in to more symptoms than I already have.

Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 04:58:52 pm by [Buddie] »

Three decades of diet soda robs addict of youth, sanity

Posted on by 
What If...
« on: July 15, 2017, 03:17:28 pm »

[Buddie]

So, I am 67, 13 years on Xanax, 3 off. Did 3 decades drinking diet soda. So, June 1, 2017, I went off the sodas and, of course, aspartame. This morning looked at how old I look and feel. Each passing month seems worse. I was wondering what I would look like and feel like if I had never taken any of these poisons. Too late now but a real sad commentary on where I took myself. Sure many of you feel the same. 😢