Brainwashed cult member wants to activate DNR if she has to be intubated from COVID-19, fears being sedated worse than dying

If have you be intubated due to virus....
« on: March 25, 2020, 02:47:07 pm »

[Buddie]

So, let’s hope this doesn’t happen to any of us but I am very concerned about this.

If ppl need to be intubated they are sedated and paralysed apparently.

I am now sensitised to all meds and still tapering.

If they gave me Benzos it would be horrific as you are all aware and I get severe adverse effects to all meds have tried to relax muscles in last year including g hallucinations and terror.

I couldn’t lie flat even on Benzos doe to spinal problems and now even with legs up can’t lie on back.

What the hell are we supposed to do in these circumstances.

I have a DNR in place so not sure if that would prevent them from doing it?

If worked and didn’t cause terror would hope for morphine but unless they were to give me enough to put me out of my misery the effects of that would be horrific as even cocodomol causes my terror etc to get much worse due to allergic sensitisation.

Due to COVID-19 isn’t it time Benzo Buddies tells its members to immediately stop tapering, and go back on benzos? Why are they torturing people?

COV19 making it even harder to taper
« on: March 17, 2020, 10:23:25 am »

[Buddie]

increased stress. Now asked to work from home.
Don’t have much equipment to work from home.
Going to work helped my socialization.
I’m in a major long hold. Fear all the stress
will just keep me on the med. Also restart SSRI
to cope with the isolation and stress. I know I
ask a lot. I ask for prayers. Ty

Re: COV19 making it even harder to taper
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2020, 03:01:44 pm »

[Buddie]

I am not sure if it will help. However when I work from home I usually keep a TV, YouTube or radio on as ‘background noise’. This usually helps me cope with isolation.

Re: COV19 making it even harder to taper
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2020, 10:55:28 am »

[Buddie]

I’m letting all the pandemic news scare me
bc it’s change. And I had adjustment do
even before all this. I find I can’t tolerate
SSRI ordered for me . It’s too sedating
and makes my body feel terrible. Ty

Addict develops domatophobia after joining Benzo Buddies

Will I Ever Want to Go Home Again?
« on: September 03, 2019, 11:33:50 pm »

[Buddie]

I know I’ve spoken with a few people on this forum about this. This has been going on with me for about a year now. I don’t like going home at all. I get no joy from being in my own house. I feel mad at my family. I have no hobbies I want to pursue when I’m here. I can’t nap lately. It’s like the moment I’m gone for a while and then have to come back, I dread it. And when I’m here, I just feel mad and miserable. It doesn’t really matter if I’m home alone or not. I don’t know how many others deal with this. Being at home used to be the place I was most comfortable.

Television (and books) forbidden for Ashton cultists

Fear over Books and Television
« on: August 04, 2019, 11:16:50 pm »

[Buddie]

Does anyone become filled with anxiety when you try to watch television or read a book?

I use to love both, but now I can’t handle more than a few seconds of either. It makes it so so so hard to fill the day.

Re: Fear over Books and Television
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2019, 12:48:27 am »

[Buddie]

Yes.

Re: Fear over Books and Television
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2019, 12:53:29 am »

[Buddie]

YES. I actually stopped watching TV during WD. The violence, the negativity, just became way too much for me. I did not watch TV for several years because of this. I already had enough dark and negative thoughts in my mind. Did not need to add to that. Believe it or not I only resumed watching some TV a few months ago. And you know what? Seven years of NOT watching TV was truly a GOOD thing, a nice thing. I had to find other ways to pass the time.
[…]

Re: Fear over Books and Television
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2019, 01:25:23 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 05, 2019, 12:53:29 am
YES. I actually stopped watching TV during WD. The violence, the negativity, just became way too much for me. I did not watch TV for several years because of this. I already had enough dark and negative thoughts in my mind. Did not need to add to that. Believe it or not I only resumed watching some TV a few months ago. And you know what? Seven years of NOT watching TV was truly a GOOD thing, a nice thing. I had to find other ways to pass the time.
[…]

Same for me. Stopped watching TV completely. Cut back my online reading to only a couple local news and weather reports. Can’t handle the stress. I get too worked up. I am getting better, though. I was much worse a few years ago. So maybe I’ll be able to get back to where I was, though I’m not sure I want to. TV is all propaganda or pornography, and often both, mixed together into one tempting toxic brew. Who needs that?

Toy Story 4 trailer causes panic, waves of fear at Benzo Buddies

Do Movies Make You Uncomfortable?
« on: June 23, 2019, 09:44:04 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m having a hard time even watching movies still at 15 months off. I want to go to Toy Story 4 but even the trailer and concept of the movie makes me uncomfortable. Furthermore, I have been watching Toy Story movies with my daughter and find they all make me uncomfortable. But other kids movies make me feel this way too. I don’t even want to think about dramas or horror movies.

Anyone else have this?

Addict fantasizes about murdering family after joining Benzo Buddies anti-doctor cult

Fear of Going Home
« on: May 08, 2019, 09:36:08 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m having a really hard time wanting to go home after work. I feel anger toward my family and have intrusive thoughts. I’ve had these things for so long that I’ve formed an aversion to my home. Don’t know what to do at this point. Never thought this would happen at nearly 14 months off. Does anybody have this? Does this sound like benzo withdrawal at all? I may have to quit my job and move at this point.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2019, 10:01:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Yeah, I think you begin to associate all this horror with your home, and family, and job, and everything around you, and you feel like getting away from it all. I used to hate being at home. I’d just get in the car and drive around the mountains for the whole day. Anything to get away. Of course, if you have a lot of anger, you might not want to go driving around. Might turn into road rage. But maybe some long walks might help.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2019, 12:32:14 am »

[Buddie]

You might have some other psychological issues (LOL – editor). This is not a criticism but your posts suggest it and your benzo doses were never very high. Maybe some cognitive behavioral therapy to help you deal with these negative thought patterns. Quitting your job and moving wont change a thing in my opinion. Best of luck.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2019, 02:05:35 am »

[Buddie]

Been seeing a therapist since July. I started seeing a second therapist in April too. Nothing has helped.

All I know is that when I quit benzos the second time I didn’t sleep for a full month and it felt like I was going into states of psychosis. I had suicidal ideation up to about a year off. That has eased off and it’s morphed into this fear of going home and fear and anger around other people, particularly my family.