« on: February 21, 2020, 05:45:30 pm »
Hey so before “go get tested” or “you need a real doctor” I’ll say I have been tested for all STDs multiple times as well as had an urologist look at this as well so here it goes..
While I was in tolerance withdrawal I had a bad UTI infection that caused the doctors to put me on an antibiotic that really started this whole withdrawal process off with a big bang. He said it was either a UTI or Balantis as the tip was red and sensitive. At one point my balls were aching horribly because of an infection but there just wasn’t a clear problem. He just threw more antibiotics at it which caused my withdrawal to really suck.
It cleared up to 80 with no daily pain so I haven’t thought much of it. Since then I am 3 months post jump but there is a slight redness in the area at the tip of my penis that doesn’t necessarily hurt anymore but just comes and goes and seems to effect the way I pee and often times I “dribble” pee out after I’m done.
It’s not an STD, and there is no constant pain, although about a year ago there was. This just seems to be what’s left of it and it just annoys me so.
Has anyone had any genital problems coming off and any success stories of when they went away. Hands down it has gotten so much better but I’m just at a loss as to why it slightly still bothers me.
« on: November 05, 2017, 08:43:57 pm »
Has anyone else experienced benzo bullying where someone knows you are going through w/d and exploits the fact?
In view it should be regarded as a hate crime. Or worse.
Re: Benzo bullying
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2017, 09:55:03 pm »
That is so mean & sorry you’ve experienced this. Personally have not had this yet. Was it people you know which would make this more hurtful. Could it be possible they didn’t mean to be hurtful as they don’t understand what we’re going thru?
Re: Benzo bullying
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2017, 11:33:29 am »
They did know me and sadly they knew exactly what they were doing because the person orchestrating it has been through benzo w/d themselves.
I know it is unbelievable but it’s true. Moreover I believe they were trying to provoke me into a reaction while I was ill in order to use it against me. I have even had my computer hacked and fb account hacked and been stalked and trolled on fb by the same people. It is a true horror story.
« on: April 18, 2017, 04:04:20 pm »
When does the fear ever subside? Every day has been different. Sometimes, I’ll awaken and I’ll be experiencing high crying episodes then other days, I feel fearful-where nothing “feels” the same. I can’t make a routine because it feels so “off” and different. It is truly the scariest thing; feels as if I’ve had a stroke. What can you do but rest in it? I don’t even know how to cope…
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2017, 05:23:36 pm »
I experience terror-not fear mostly in bed at night to the point i couldnt sleep until sunrise and could see the light. I was on a much higher dose then you were for a linger period of time. The terror subsided at around 5-6 months and is gone now at 11 months. I prayed all night long to combat the terror. Good luck.
Therapy via Skype?
« on: December 31, 2016, 05:00:58 am »
This is just a shot in the dark but I was wondering if anyone knew of any therapists or services that offer therapy sessions via Skype. During my taper I’ve developed agoraphobia because of constant depersonalization and as a result I’ve gotten in the habit of cancelling appointments at the last minute. I don’t know why insurance doesn’t cover appointment s via Skype or even by phone but they don’t.
I have Claire Weekes’ book on agoraphobia and I should read it again but with the cog fog that is difficult.
MOVED: A very weird thing happened today - saw my post on an anti-BB site
« on: February 23, 2016, 03:39:35 am »
This topic has been moved to Off-Topic.
Psychiatrist Robert Jay Lifton defines “loaded language” as a technique used in brainwashing.
5150’d – getting locked away in a psychiatric ward, see The Funny House
Benzo Belly – gastroenterologic system affected, including the organs from mouth to anus
Benzo Brain – persistent or intermittent combination of symptoms originating from inside the head, head pressure, vestibular system disturbance and psychiatric disturbances
Benzo Flu – anything, anything at all
Healing Happens – meaningless
Kpin – the medication Klonopin
PDOCS – see psychs
Psychs – psychiatrists and psychologists (Seen by the paranoid cult as being the ultimate in evil and corruption on Earth; out to destroy us all by cutting out our brains with transorbital lobotomies, or zapping us into submission with electro-convulsive therapy (ECT), or zombifying us with selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs) like Ritalin and Prozac. The cult front-group called the Citizen’s Commission on Human Rights (CCHR), a la Orwell, is dedicated to destroying these evil beings known as psychs, but who are really members of the fifth galactic invader force.)
SP – Suppressive Person, an evil person; someone who criticizes Scientology in any way
Squirrel – In cult jargon, squirrel refers to someone who is too insane to follow Standard Scientology Tech
The Funny House – a psychiatric ward
Wave – a period of feeling badly after feeling better; this is fairly common because withdrawal is not linear
Window – a period of time where one has relief from symptoms; maybe not complete relief but a noticeable break in symptoms
To be continued…