Ativan addict eats handful of pills to calm nerves, tosses years-long taper in garbage

So disappointed in myself
« on: December 27, 2017, 02:49:57 am »

[Buddie]

After being free of Ativan for 2 days, I caved and had to take some because the anxiety was awful. I’m so disappointed in myself😞I feel like a failure.

Pill-crazed hophead eats handfuls of benzos in search of nirvana

Major setback to hell.
« on: October 08, 2016, 09:03:51 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi friends

I’ve just done the most stupid thing. I’ve been pretty stable on 5mg Lorazepam for 3 weeks now.

I was just about to take my 5mg and accidentally found a supply of Valium that my partner was hiding from me. I’ve had some bad news today and my anxiety/stress has been off the scale all day.

I was like a child in a sweet shop and just couldn’t help myself. I took my 5mg Lorazepam and 10x 5mg Valium. This adds up to 90mg benzo if I’m not mistaken.

My question is will this reset my taper/tolerance and will I have to start again. Will I go through a withdrawal process again until I stabilise.

I’m so mad at myself right now if I didn’t have family to worry about I would hang myself tonight.

Please help.

Cult maniac identified as person who originally gave out anti-cult fighter’s personal info so his family could be harassed

Re: Please remove my membership and blog
« Reply #27 on: September 25, 2011 at 05:59:09 PM »

Dukesmommy

I’m confused. Gail was in on this from the very beginning, as a matter of fact. She and Jon were the instigators of the entire chain of events at BW. She was the one who gave out Mike59’s personal information to everyone so they could post it all over BW and other places on the internet. Many players who play innocent but are guilty behind the scenes, as I previously mentioned. Don’t forget that she was a moderator for a short time at BE. I had occasion to witness her intense hate for Mike59. There is no question in my mind that she is deeply involved in this current feud.

Another thing that I am confused about is why we would need to bring Ross in on all of this. He has managed to stay out of all of it completely, having most of these people, save Flick, as members of his forum. What would his forum have to do with you encouraging me to ban Mike59? Also, are you saying that you would be willing to ban Donny?

Yes, we are not 100% sure of who is completely involved. Like I said, there are many players and none are innocent.

There is Jon, Gail, Flick, Robyn Hayle, Jim (Befuddled), Jannie Tyme (Whoopsie) and maybe others that I don’t know about. Zoe, although she is not a member on BE as far as I can see and I don’t know whether she is a member here. If you banned Mike59 as a gesture to the members of BW then you do know that there were others that caused many problems there too.
I’m not sure of your reasoning behind that gesture, to be honest.

TC is a moot point since he is already banned from most all forums. I’m sure he rubbishes everyone he can if he gets mad at them. He has issues. I haven’t been to TRAP in years except to make sure my account was secure there a few weeks ago and to ask for his help with a woman in his country who has subsequently passed away last fall.

Again, I am making the gesture/offer. We may never do it perfectly but it is the fairest thing to do. Whether BW or TRAP participates or not, it will send a message that we will no longer stand for what is happening, that we have a common goal and that is to stand up for what is right, and get on with encouraging, supporting and helping others in withdrawal.

Take Tylenol start to vibrate?

Re: My journal
« Reply #227 on: Today at 08:36:22 AM »

IwillnIcan

Well im back,2 days ago i took some tylenol extra strength for some jerks i was having at night. I dont think it did me too good at all  :( . took away the pain i was having but gave me some anxiety that night and felt very tense the next day. I felt somewhat accelerated also and i couldnt sleep till bout 8 am woke up today at 5pm. Ate, went to a friends house and still felt somewhat accelerated.  really couldnt stop talking!  :-[ . and at the same time i felt tired  ??? . its now 3 am and i felt tired so i tried to pass out and i couldnt. was having all sort of irrational thoughts, like if i was tripping on acid or something felt like im dreaming but im awake. things didnt seem much real or my thoughts. was thinking of all sort of weird thoughts and still am  :( . I really hope this doesnt send me back into hell  :'( . i felt like i was doing pretty good overall, but that tylenol seemed to have put me back some. im gettin  that vibrating thing in my head again feels like someone is ringing a gong in my head. its so weird how im having all these irrational thoughts when my head feels SO clear, no cogfog or nothing!! hopefully it goes away soon.  :(