Brainwashed cult member wants to activate DNR if she has to be intubated from COVID-19, fears being sedated worse than dying

If have you be intubated due to virus....
« on: March 25, 2020, 02:47:07 pm »


So, let’s hope this doesn’t happen to any of us but I am very concerned about this.

If ppl need to be intubated they are sedated and paralysed apparently.

I am now sensitised to all meds and still tapering.

If they gave me Benzos it would be horrific as you are all aware and I get severe adverse effects to all meds have tried to relax muscles in last year including g hallucinations and terror.

I couldn’t lie flat even on Benzos doe to spinal problems and now even with legs up can’t lie on back.

What the hell are we supposed to do in these circumstances.

I have a DNR in place so not sure if that would prevent them from doing it?

If worked and didn’t cause terror would hope for morphine but unless they were to give me enough to put me out of my misery the effects of that would be horrific as even cocodomol causes my terror etc to get much worse due to allergic sensitisation.

Mother of three begs cult for permission to go to rehab

Going to a 28 day rehab tomorrow-don't hate please
« on: October 03, 2019, 06:32:03 pm »


I know this isn’t necessarily advisable, but tomorrow I am going to a 28 day rehab facility. They will detox me, but not cold turkey me. I’m scared to death to go, but I’m scared to death to not go. I am afraid. Afraid of not feeling better, afraid of never getting back to myself. This morning I was suicidal and just couldn’t get up and go through the day again. Every day I put my full amount of positivity into myself and day and nothing changes. I wake up in the morning with the same sense of dread that hit me around Christmas last year, about two months into taking Ativan. The benzos have caused me to become depressed, which I never was until benzos came into my life. I have been hospitalized twice, and the new psych I got after the hospital, an Addiction Specialist, has really done nothing besides give me a high dose of 80 mg Prozac and put me on Seroquel. She diagnosed me with PMDD, which I’m sure I have, so last week I got out my Mirena and started taking Nikki, which is the generic form of Yaz. I have been a complete wreck since then. I’ve had horrible nausea and what feels like PMS although my period is weeks away. The doctor says it will take a couple of months to work. I have been allowed to taper by 5% starting last week, but there are no plans to move forward with the taper. My doc just keeps saying I’m not ready. I’ve just lost faith. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. I was driving myself back to the hospital this morning and just decided I wasn’t going back there. I’m doing something different. To those who pray, please pray for me, and if you’re just spiritual, please send out some positive vibes that this will go somewhat smoothly. Thanks bbs.

Anti-psychiatry haven Benzo Buddies compares hospitals to prisons, warns members to stay away

Psych and detox facilities
« on: September 01, 2018, 01:53:44 am »


I am watching Orange is the new black when I can, and cannot shake the feeling that American psych hospitals and (possibly, don’t have any experience with those) detox facilities are way too similar to prisons.

How you cannot leave the facilities, or have much of your personal stuff, phones, even a kindle, how visitation is limited, how you have this ancient wall phone, how you are treated like a child, how your complaints are ignored, how you are stuck with medications they think are best for you and not given what you need (I was refused my asthma inhaler once, despite wheezing!!!), how the food is awful and without much regard to your food sensitivities, how you are forced to the social activities. Some places it’s even physically dangerous, because they mix violent manic patients with detox patients.

Re: Psych and detox facilities
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2018, 02:49:37 am »



Although I’ve never been in a mental hospital, I have been to a voluntary hospital detox, sent there by a well meaning but clueless doctor to get off xanax. It was only 4 days, but it was awful. I don’t recommend this to anyone. Far from being an “easy” way to get off benzos, as some seem to think, it’s literally going from the frying pan into the fire for most of us who’ve experienced it:

Nine years ago, I went to a major Seattle hospital for “detox” where the doctor was supposed to be a “benzo expert.” He wasn’t, and I only saw him for a few minutes the whole time. All they did was cold turkey me off a high dose of xanax, feed me, and monitor my blood pressure for 4 days. I was the only benzo person on a floor full of alcoholics, and there was NO follow up treatment or counseling. Price: $16,000 (2009). Afterwards, I had hellish relentless symptoms that never stopped. These were so bad that I reinstated 4 months later, only to taper off a few years later. I’d kindled by then, and it 2.5 years for me to heal.

One thing, and I say this from my own experience. It might be better to limit watching tv shows or movies that disturb you. We tend to be extremely emotional and suggestible during withdrawal, and it’s often best to limit our exposure to such upsetting things. That’s what I did, and it helped. I focused on positive distractions like classic movies, audible books, spirituality, art, crafts, and short trips and walks out of the house. Anything that took my mind of my suffering for a little while,


Re: Psych and detox facilities
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2018, 03:35:09 am »


Oh my gosh, your detox experience sounds horrible!

I’ve had that too, though, at regular hospitals: monitor blood pressure for several hours, and charge a thousand or two for it.

I’ve been bed ridden for 10 months, so I’ve watched all the feel good shows already. If you can recommend anything particular, that’d be great!

Re: Psych and detox facilities
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2018, 05:30:52 am »


In my opinion….Detox centers are a waste of time and money. I could of done the same CT to me at home and had more money in my pocket. The pain and suffering would of been the same. The aftermath of what you experience when you leave a detox center is horrific. Your in a lot of pain searching for answers. I highly advise against it.

Re: Psych and detox facilities
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2018, 06:43:34 am »


Yes. I wish doctors were not leaving their patients hanging and cutting them off, thereby forcing these dangerous detox situations. The revival of the market for the benzos had already happened in a big way in the last 10-15 years, and there is no backing out of it just like that, right now. What was prescribed needs to be carefully and slowly de-prescribed.

Anti-psychiatry Benzo Buddies ghouls try to talk hallucinating addict out of seeking professional help

Considering Nursing Home care
« on: November 01, 2017, 11:34:47 pm »


Hello everyone,

I have been through multiple withdrawals, almost on a monthly basis, over the past 5 years of being on klonopin. I made a huge mistake doing that, and I now know it. I was so frightened and terrified that I couldn’t even think straight. Even on the medication, I was in a lot of distress. I am now hardly able to take care of myself. I have lost almost all proprioception and can’t feel the muscles I’m tensing. This actually started possibly years ago. I am at a point where I have encountered near death experiences of being completely out of my body, much more than just dr/dp. I haven’t been able to let my body relax since my high anxiety took me into dr/dp 7 years ago (upon which I became frozen in my own body and couldn’t get help or info anywhere), 2 years before I was on meds. I am afraid to move or even think about most of my body and head. My sense of my body is constantly fluctuating. I have saucer sized pupils almost all day every day. When I look at them under light in the bathroom, they are constantly becoming huge then small. My mother has been taking care of me for the past 3 years, but she is getting older and I can’t put this on her anymore. I am only 31, but I am becoming severely disabled by this. If I even think about my body I feel pain. Over the years of repeated withdrawal, I have been mentally running away from what is happening to me more and more. The more I go on, the worse everything is getting. I am now having near-death compelete out of body experiences frequently. My nervous system is so wired that when I get up to do something, I am completely out of my body and can’t feel anything. When I sit down I start to feel all kinds of pain and horrible sensations. My proprioception is totally gone. My mouth feels sideways sometimes. Other times it starts to feel gigantic. And it is all I can really notice. Something is very wrong with me. I’ve done some kind of damage that I couldn’t feel because I’ve been outside of my body for years. I do have a feeling that I’m going to die, but it’s not a panicky one that I had 7 years ago when I entered dr/dp. This is an oddly calm acceptance.

So, I really think I need to be in a nursing home under medical care despite my age. I just contacted my doctor about it and I’m waiting for a reply. I know this seems crazy to everyone else in my life, but I know it’s what needs to be done in case something happens and to relieve the burden on my mother. I’m only getting worse and worse, and I have a feeling I’m on the verge of a serious occurrence that may threaten my life. I may even have to go back on klonopin just to stabilize. Just maybe there is a possibility I could do a supremely slow taper at some point in the distant future after I possibly correct the things that are physically wrong with me. To be honest, a lot of what I read here is what I experienced during my first or second year on the med. I feel like I unknowingly kindled myself dozens of times and found out all of this information I found way too late.

So, I guess my question is, what do you guys think? I’m losing my abilities to do anything even worse than before. I was hardly able to take care of myself the last few years on klonopin. I just sat in my chair hoping to distract myself at my computer. I had to leave grad school a year before I had my phd, and I pretty much became homebound then. I thought it was all just some mysterious thing that was destroying me and no one could figure it out. Now I know, but it’s too late. Do you think I will be able to do this? Do they have to have a definite diagnosis for me to be put in there? Please let me know anything you have to say about this.

Re: Considering Nursing Home care
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2017, 12:05:41 am »


If you tell your doctor what you just wrote they won’t put you in a nursing home unfortunately, they’ll send you to a psych hospital. I know your feeling rough and guilty but you got to pull yourself together for your family. Vent all you want, it helps for sure but just know that you aren’t broken forever. This will end one day. You might have underlying issues as so I as well but this isn’t baseline if you weeent like this prior to the meds.

Hospitals equal torture?

Mclean's Hospital Boston MA
« on: July 24, 2017, 03:07:21 pm »


Doing some research I think that I have found a hospital outside of Boston Massachusetts that has some knowledge of benzo tapering and withdrawal. I have contacted the program’s director and I’m hoping to get a response sometime soon. I have been struggling with benzos for years and am worn out. I am hoping to find somebody that can really help me and not just a script doctor.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 04:57:12 pm by [Buddie]

Re: Mclean's Hospital Boston MA
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2017, 03:16:39 pm »



I understand how you feel, but please be very careful about hospital “detoxes.” I went through one several years ago, in a major Seattle hospital where the doctor was supposed to be a “benzo expert.” They cold turkeyed me the minute I walked in the door, monitored my blood pressure for a few days, then sent me home to endure hellish long-term withdrawal symptoms alone. I only saw the doctor once, for a few minutes, and it cost me many thousands of dollars. Many others here have similar experiences with hospital detoxes. “Detox” is designed for alcohol and street drugs, not benzos, which require a much longer recovery period.

For long term users, the best way to get off benzos is to taper slowly at home. It’s not always easy, but it generally leads to milder symptoms in the long run.

Anti-doctor Benzo Buddies monsters try to talk member out of going to the ER

Please help headed to ER no sleep 13 days
« on: January 14, 2017, 07:38:07 pm »


I cant go on like this what is safe to let them give me? Advice please soo scared!!

Re: Please help headed to ER no sleep 13 days
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2017, 08:09:07 pm »


Wow, 13 days is a long time, but unless you were up out of bed moving around the whole time you probably were getting periods of light sleep that you were not aware of.

I totally understand your desire to head off to the ER. I live just down the street from an ER and many were the nights that I wanted to run on over in desperation. Just know that ERs are all about stabilization and immediate symptom relief. They tend to be overworked and probably will want to give you a powerful sleeping aid so they can move on to the next person in line. You don’t want that. If they admit you to the hospital you will be pumped full of the same drugs and be knocked right back to where you started.

If you have not already tried any of them, you can try Trazadone, Remeron or Seroquel to help with sleep. You can just see or call your regular doctor to get a prescription. Otherwise, stay away from driving and other potentially dangerous activities and put in your time in bed (if only for badly needed rest) and sleep will find you eventually. In spite of your fears, you will not die from this. You will fall asleep before that happens.

Xanax-fentanyl combo kills

Fake Xanax cut with potent pain med can be a killer

1 person died, 8 were sickened when illicit pills circulated in San Francisco, doctors report

TUESDAY, Aug. 9, 2016 (HealthDay News) — At least one San Francisco-area drug user died and eight more landed in the ER in late 2015 after taking counterfeit Xanax tablets that had been cut with a powerful and dangerous opiate, a new report shows.

The nine people all had taken tablets that looked very similar to prescription Xanax, down to bearing the same pharmaceutical markings as the legitimate anxiety drug, said report author Dr. Ann Arens. She is a former ER physician at Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital.

But the tablets had been cut with fentanyl, a cheap, synthetic opioid that the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration says is 100 times more potent than morphine. The rock star Prince died of a fentanyl overdose at his Paisley Park recording studio in Minneapolis in April.

“They look exactly the same, and the users that were exposed to these tablets had no idea it was anything other than what they thought they were buying,” said Arens, who recently took a new job as attending ER physician at Hennepin County Medical Center in Minneapolis.

Three people who took the fake pills suffered from heart attacks and one from heart failure, while others experienced a dangerous dip in their respiratory and nervous system function, according to the case report.

The patients included an infant who had to be placed on a respirator after taking a fake Xanax pill he found lying on the ground at home.

The case report was published online Aug. 8 in the journal JAMA Internal Medicine.

Manufacture of counterfeit medications has increased with the epidemic of prescription drug abuse, said Marcia Lee Taylor, president and CEO of the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Drug abusers turn to street dealers to buy prescription drugs when they can’t purchase the medications through a pharmacy, Taylor said. These dealers have no scruples about selling fake tablets that may contain other substances, she said.

Fentanyl is a common ingredient in these counterfeit drugs because it’s cheap and potent, Taylor said.

“Oftentimes illicit drugs are cut with cheaper substances to stretch the product. Fentanyl is just another sort of product on the shelf to cut drugs with,” Taylor said. “Unfortunately, unlike baking soda or other materials used to stretch the active ingredient in a drug, this has very dangerous side effects. It doesn’t take much fentanyl to lead to an overdose.”

Drug abusers turn to street dealers to buy prescription drugs when they can’t purchase the medications through a pharmacy, Taylor said. These dealers have no scruples about selling fake tablets that may contain other substances, she said.

Fentanyl is a common ingredient in these counterfeit drugs because it’s cheap and potent, Taylor said.

“Oftentimes illicit drugs are cut with cheaper substances to stretch the product. Fentanyl is just another sort of product on the shelf to cut drugs with,” Taylor said. “Unfortunately, unlike baking soda or other materials used to stretch the active ingredient in a drug, this has very dangerous side effects. It doesn’t take much fentanyl to lead to an overdose.”

Xanax is a mild sedative normally used to treat anxiety and panic disorders.

The fake Xanax containing fentanyl came to the attention of San Francisco doctors in mid-October 2015, when a man in his 20s and a woman in her 30s were taken to the ER at Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital after consuming the pills.

A third person with them, a woman in her 30s, was found dead in their home, Arens said.

The blood of all three tested positive for fentanyl, even though the survivors said they had only used alcohol, cocaine and Xanax, Arens said.

The doctors suspected the Xanax was counterfeit and laced with fentanyl, and their suspicions were confirmed when a fourth patient wound up in the ER. The patient, a man in his early 20s, still had some of the counterfeit Xanax on his person, and testing revealed that the tablets had been cut with fentanyl, Arens explained.

Five more hospitalizations involving fake Xanax cropped up after that, including the infant, two boys in their late teens, a man in his mid-20s and a man in his mid-40s, the report said.

These were difficult cases to treat, because the patients were suffering from symptoms that didn’t line up with what they said they had taken, Arens said.

“People may be presenting differently than what they think they took, and it makes it difficult to diagnose,” Arens said. “It’s hard to predict what someone could have gotten into when they buy things off the street.”

Other deaths occurred as a result of the fake Xanax, Arens said, and will be detailed in an upcoming paper from the San Francisco medical examiner’s office.

These cases should serve as a warning to people tempted to buy prescription medications from illicit sources, be it a street dealer or a shady online retailer, Taylor said.

“If you buy it outside of the medical system and on the street, you’re putting yourself at risk for a counterfeit product,” Taylor said. “You don’t know what’s going to be in it, and how you’re going to react to it.”

Is the need to hurt someone really a benzo withdrawal symptom? Involuntary yelling? Laughing hysterically?

involuntarily yell out loud and symptoms such seazure
« on: April 07, 2016, 12:19:57 pm »


I’ve calculated with doses of xanax, I’ve used 9 years for social phobia and panic attacks. I used other drugs from the group of antidepressants, antipsychotics and antiepileptics, on end off. Before every social situation, I increased the dose, because of the phobia and panic which is always held in front of others, and I would be ashamed. At first it took 2 mg xanax at once to come to 20mg 2 years ago. Call me a drug addict now, it would be too much for me. I’ve never worked out hedonistic initiative, only I could function. Before my last tablet, I used Prozac and Eftil, antiepileptik. Both I threw in a month. Last year, before the jump when I’m home I used 2.5 mg, at once and when I expose social situation 5-6mg at once, continuous up and down.If I was alone at home,I am not at all neaded xanax,but would immediately arise widhdrowal. All 9 years, I used High doses at once-lower doses of 3-4mg at once,I’m in social situations-I’m alone at home, continuous up and down. I reduced xanax 26 days. Today I am 6 months and 2 days off. From the first day I have seazure, but I’m awake. Aggressive throwing body, with loud involuntary yelling,these attacks lasted 6 hours,rage, screaming into a pillow, cry, but it sounds like laughing hysterically…PLEASE HELP ME..Is this normal?Is this seazure or weight widhrowal???

Re: involuntarily yell out loud and symptoms such seazure
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2016, 01:18:29 pm »


I can not stand this anymore, every day I have these attacks. Sweating, the need to break something or hurt someone, I’m falling off the beds to muscle spasms and shaking. When it passes the rest of the day and night I still yell- twitch-yell. As if someone had turned me into electrisity work- does not work. This symptom is here for more than 3 months. A violent throwing body and head over 56 days and night. One month ago I shook my head to the left to the right like I was at rock concert. It was hard for me all this to tell. I barely wrote this. I can barely walk, I do not talk to anybody, because of the sensitivity to sound and I have all the possible symptoms on list and more. I’m new to the forums and i’m looking for support and advice. Would help me gabapentin? Are they real seazure, What if we damages the brain? Thanks in advance everyone. God help us!