Mother terrified of post-Ashton taper son

OK, I know I'm always asking questions, but...Hospital?
« on: December 16, 2017, 03:58:14 pm »

[Buddie]

Have any of you had your sx. of obsessive thoughts and psychotic thinking become so bad that you had to be hospitalized? Like making threats and becoming combative? My son has been like that lately. It’s not like him at ALL, he is very tall, and teachers, relatives, and friends have always called him the ‘gentle giant’. He’ll be fine (albeit dressed and anxious and hurting), and then just fall apart.

I could really use some input on this. He was fine before benzos and during benzos. So we (and our family doctor–yes we finally found one that had personal experience with protracted benzo withdrawal iin a young woman he treated)are all-but-certain it is the w/d.

White-knuckle, chest-thumping fear of flying without benzos

Flying tommorow and horrified
« on: December 13, 2017, 05:36:45 am »

[Buddie]

Hey friends, I’m really scared here. Taking my first flight tommorow since quitting benzos. I am horrified of not being able to do anything about an anxiety attack midair. I had my doctor call in a one time xanax refill but my wife is ashamed of me for doing so and is advising me not to even bring them because I will have a huge flare up of anxiety when they wear off. Been benzo free 16 months. Any words of advice on flying without benzos? Should I bring them in secret just to have? Please help!

Addict turns benzo taper into lifelong career

Feel like I completely screwed myself and now feel hopeless
« on: November 20, 2017, 10:07:02 pm »

[Buddie]

I can’t help but feel like my failed Valium crossover and then all of the one off updoses that I very stupidly took to help me sleep have completely screwed me up. I’ve never felt so physically sick or mentally off. It’s unbearable I’m bed ridden and absolutely overwhelmed with terror and irrational thoughts 24/7. I don’t know what to do anymore I think I kindled myself so badly. I just wanted relief. This is my history:

Last year I did a daily liquid microtaper from February until November. I would liquefy one of my .5 mg tablets in 100 mL’s of milk and take our 1.2 mL’s a day until it was gone. So I got down to 1.5 mg’s around November of last year when I was slammed with symptoms/side effects and after seeking advice I decided to updose to 2 and then ultimately reinstate back at 2.5. This did not stabilize me at all and I wish more than anything I had just held at 1.5. In May of this year I had a failed Valium crossover. I then went back to 2.5 and tried a dry cut going extremely slow and only got from 2.5 to 2.375 cutting at a little less than 5% but I felt so terrible that I again went back to 2.5 and actually tried going to 3 mg’s for six days to see if I could get relief and did not so I then went back to 2.5 which is where I am now and have been for a few months with occasional 5 mg Valium updoses mixed in.

Excerpts from benzo cult hero Stevie Nicks’ shocking new bio

  • Grammy winning singer-songwriter, Stevie Nicks snorted so much cocaine and became so addicted to the drug that she had to be shadowed to keep from falling off stage when performing and needed to have someone tuck her into bed at night
  • The Queen of Rock and Roll in the 1970s and 1980s not only had a huge hole in her nose from the cocaine, but she was warned of the imminent possibility of a brain hemorrhage if she kept up her high level of consumption
  • But it was the shocking rumors that she had reverted to using the devil’s dandruff in her vagina and rectum for the ultimate high that was the eventual motivation for her to go into rehab in 1986 at the Betty Ford addiction treatment center in Minnesota
  • The Fleetwood Mac singer admitted: “You could put a big gold ring through my septum. It affected my eyes, my sinuses. It was a lot of fun for a long time because we didn’t know it was bad. But eventually it gets hold of you, and all you can think about is where your next line is coming from”
  • “All of us were drug addicts. But there was a point where I was the worst drug addict. I was a girl, I was fragile, and I was doing a lot of coke and I was in danger of brain damage,” she told author Stephen Davis for his upcoming book, Gold Dust Woman: The Biography of Stevie Nicks

Alcoholic tapers with Vodka at online Ashton shrine

Question about alcohol
« on: November 02, 2017, 02:53:39 am »

[Buddie]

Thinking about trying this but I’m worried about how it affects gaba receptors. But If I do try it, I’m using 175 mls of liquid. Do I put 2 mls of Vodka and 173 mls of water?

Thanks.

Scared of the effect bc I’m an alcoholic.

Benzo Buddies member riddled with flea bites because cult kooks told her insecticide affects GABA

HELP!!! Got fleas in home, can anyone tell me if insecticide safe to use pls
« on: September 08, 2017, 02:49:50 pm »

[Buddie]

About a month ago my friend brought his dog in who had fleas.
I thought I was just catastrophising at the time, due to anxiety, so I hoovered and forgot about them.
Now the eggs have hatched, I have larvae pupae and adult fleas and i need to use an insecticide but I am afraid of inhaling it as it acts on gabaa
The ingredients are permethrinand Pyripoxyfen which controls growth of eggs.
I am anaemic and in withdrawal so vaccumming every day is out of the question and salt doesnt work either.
Has anyone used flea spray in thier home while tapering and been ok or does it affect you?
Desperate for help, cos i am gettting more and more bites every day now.
They’re in my bed.

Benzo Buddies: Flea spray affects GABA

Please help, desperate, got fleas in house but flea spray affects GABA
« on: August 08, 2017, 09:50:04 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello

My friend brought his dog in my flat and the dog has left fleas, ive been bitten.
I’ve tried vaccumming, but I am so depressed and anxious and stressed about other things including withdrawal that I only have the energy to vaccuumm part of a room a day, ,whereas to get rid of the fleas, eggs and larvae you either have to vaccuum every day for a week or use flea spray with insect growth regulator in.
The problem with these substances is that they all have chemicals in which, on doing research, affect gaba in a bad way, I wont ramble.
I even tried to find a respirator online so that I did not breathe in any of the vapours, but there is so much choice that I am totally confused as to which respirator to buy to prevent me inhaling the fumes of the flea spray, as you have to keep windows shut while it works when you spray.
Has anyone ever used any of the strong flea sprays in withdrawal?
Did they react with you in a bad way?
I am desperate to hear of anyone’s experience with these flea sprays, they worked for me when i wasnt on valium but I am scared to use them given what I have read online about them interacting with GABA.
Thanks

Dr. Jenn retires after being disabled by wave: “I don’t want to be a leader… no more coaching ever!”

Re: We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2017, 06:01:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey everyone. Colin or mods may pull this as I’m breaking anonymity here. I’m jennifer. My site will be taken down in six months. I’m
Retired from coaching. My set back is severe. After a very lengthy time of feeling healed I’m
Back in the snake pit. I will not risk my health ever again so I must stop working with benzo clients. The stress, as you can imagine, is too great. Baylissa’s site Baylissa dot com, is still up. I talk her her every morning. She’s still helping benzo people. She’s not leaving the community. I wish I was more well and could help. But I’m not and I can’t. It was an honor and a priveledge helping so many of you. Even though I’m in a set back I continue to believe that we do heal. Some take longer. But the outcome is recovery. Hold on. Don’t give up. Be good to yourselves.

Re: We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2017, 06:41:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 15, 2017, 06:01:47 pm
Hey everyone. Colin or mods may pull this as I’m breaking anonymity here. I’m jennifer. My site will be taken down in six months. I’m
Retired from coaching. My set back is severe. After a very lengthy time of feeling healed I’m
Back in the snake pit. I will not risk my health ever again so I must stop working with benzo clients. The stress, as you can imagine, is too great. Baylissa’s site Baylissa dot com, is still up. I talk her her every morning. She’s still helping benzo people. She’s not leaving the community. I wish I was more well and could help. But I’m not and I can’t. It was an honor and a priveledge helping so many of you. Even though I’m in a set back I continue to believe that we do heal. Some take longer. But the outcome is recovery. Hold on. Don’t give up. Be good to yourselves.

jen,

i will pray for you. i will pray harder than i have for anyone yet. this can’t go on for long. god has to stop this and restore you your life.

Re: We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2017, 07:16:18 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you. That’s very kind of you. I’m praying too, for all
Of us. Hopefully In another few weeks or months I’ll be back on my feet. Out in my garden. I’m working on a novel to distract me. Friends are cooking for me and taking care of me. God walked me through this once before. No reason to believe God will stop and let me walk the way to complete healing on my own.

Please know that we heal. If I didn’t believe this I wouldn’t have done the work I did all these years. I’ve seen clients get well. And I saw my own healing. I went from deranged after my cold turkey to functional. I even taught a class at Stanford. Had a bad wave from doing to much, then recovered from that. The last six months before this setback were the best in many many years. But, I guess I did too much. I’ve probably got a much more fragile CNS than most due to my years of trauma before Benzo’s. I over estimated my capacity for listening to others pain and suffering. It finally took its toll on me, along with The physical extertion I put myself under. You can avoid a setback if you take care of yourself. If you are an over achiever like myself, you’ll want to really watch yourself and slow down.

When I crawl out of this setback I’m dedicated to taking life easy. I don’t want to be a leader. I don’t want to be responsible for people’s lives in any way shape or form. No more coaching ever. I just want to write. Grow flowers. Be among friends and family. Hold my grandchildren. And appreciate every sunrise I’m given. This is my wild one and precious life, no matter how shattered it feels at the moment. It is mine.