Television (and books) forbidden for Ashton cultists

Fear over Books and Television
« on: August 04, 2019, 11:16:50 pm »

[Buddie]

Does anyone become filled with anxiety when you try to watch television or read a book?

I use to love both, but now I can’t handle more than a few seconds of either. It makes it so so so hard to fill the day.

Re: Fear over Books and Television
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2019, 12:48:27 am »

[Buddie]

Yes.

Re: Fear over Books and Television
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2019, 12:53:29 am »

[Buddie]

YES. I actually stopped watching TV during WD. The violence, the negativity, just became way too much for me. I did not watch TV for several years because of this. I already had enough dark and negative thoughts in my mind. Did not need to add to that. Believe it or not I only resumed watching some TV a few months ago. And you know what? Seven years of NOT watching TV was truly a GOOD thing, a nice thing. I had to find other ways to pass the time.
[…]

Re: Fear over Books and Television
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2019, 01:25:23 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 05, 2019, 12:53:29 am
YES. I actually stopped watching TV during WD. The violence, the negativity, just became way too much for me. I did not watch TV for several years because of this. I already had enough dark and negative thoughts in my mind. Did not need to add to that. Believe it or not I only resumed watching some TV a few months ago. And you know what? Seven years of NOT watching TV was truly a GOOD thing, a nice thing. I had to find other ways to pass the time.
[…]

Same for me. Stopped watching TV completely. Cut back my online reading to only a couple local news and weather reports. Can’t handle the stress. I get too worked up. I am getting better, though. I was much worse a few years ago. So maybe I’ll be able to get back to where I was, though I’m not sure I want to. TV is all propaganda or pornography, and often both, mixed together into one tempting toxic brew. Who needs that?

Kooks add breast pain to list of 90,000,000 benzo withdrawal symptoms

Women: Breast pain while K withdrawal?
« on: July 15, 2019, 10:21:09 pm »

[Buddie]

I have been on a [mostly] steady tapering plan since December 2018 – I am tapering .125mg at a time and before my most recent cut was at 1.75mg/d. I have noticed in the last 3 months(ish) that I have extreme breast pain between ovulation and start of my menstrual cycle. So for about 2 wks straight per month! I never experienced such a long time for breast soreness (besides during pregnancies)!
It has been suggested to me that my estrogen may be increased and that donating blood could help.

Anyone else deal with this? What did/do you do about it?

Thanks!!

Xanax addicted pothead can’t watch TV without bursting into tears

Brain Hypersensitivity and Tension/Pressure Headaches and Sensitivity to TV
« on: May 08, 2019, 11:09:21 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi everybody,

Anyone else experiencing Tension/Pressure that hits you like a wave on the top of your head where it feels like someone is pushing you down? It’s really scary, I get dizzy and can’t walk. I also am really sensitive to noises (had to turn off the clocks in my house). And I am unusually sensitive/emotional to watching TV and news, I just feel very anxious and I cry when I normally NEVER cry, so I stopped watching it.

But, I am a HUGE Game of Thrones fan and it’s been really difficult/scary for me to watch the show because I get so much anxiety and I am scared I will have a stroke in my brain because it feels so weird! I feel like I know what part of my brain is being triggered with each different emotion. Anxiety/Stress gives me crazy Tension/Pressure Headaches, the other emotions feel like my brain is being stimulated with vibrations. Or I have goosebumps/chills in my brain (best way I can describe it), it’s just really weird and scary!

I’m scared to see my friends because I don’t know what emotion will be triggered with what they talk about or ask me, and how my brain is going to react to it! Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how long does it last? And do you have any coping tips or know of an OTC or herbal remedy? HELP!

I’m scared that this is permanent. I have been abusing Xanax for 13 years and started smoking marijuana, heavily for the past 2 years. I have a very high tolerance. The past 4 months I was pretty much smoking marijuana ALL DAY and night since I had really bad insomnia and was taking anywhere from 2 1/2-4 mgs of Xanax. About a month and a half ago I quit marijuana and smoking cigarettes, cold turkey. And decided to start tapering off Xanax by.25mg each week, but I started at 2mgs. And I think I reduced it too quickly and also the withdrawal from marijuana, I feel has magnified my withdrawal symptoms.

I feel like I’m going crazy and turning into a major hermit out of fear. Can anyone help, please? 🙏

Pothead begs Benzo Buddies for help

17 yrs benzo and 17 months off + weed
« on: April 10, 2019, 09:44:26 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello to all of you :),

I am extremely happy I found this forum.  :laugh: I am 35 yrs old male single. I was diagnosed with depression/ADD/ADHD when I was 17. The dosage I consume is very consistent throughout the years, 1 benzo and 1 anti depressant. Two years ago, I discover weed reduces my anxiety and sleep so much. I started to hang out with pothead friends then I found out benzo is @(*#! I cold turkey 17 months ago and I created a new habit of smoking pot. Everyday, all day none stop. A year ago, I didn’t smoke for a month and I still had serve symptoms. So I continue to consume cannabis ever since.

symptoms :

anxiety
dizziness and headache
foggy brain, there is like a pressure in the brain
muscle tightness entire body
impossible to have a good posture
extremely isolated with reality
depression
memory lost
hard to concentrate
heart palpitate
hypersensitive to noise, sounds, light
chest pain
hard to breath
blurry eyes
foggy brain
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee on my ear
coordination
directional lost

psychological :

family and friends are the biggest joke ever
2019 we communicate with our fingers and eyes on screen, I can’t stand the fact that people don’t reply or take my messages seriously. I get extremely upset that I would just give up and block the person right away. Why not call?
suicidal thoughts
severe repetitively negative thoughts
especially on tinder ( dating app ) I talk to ppl with respect but I get mistreated, like super mad with these girls. I know their mindset is not very healthy to begin with. Anyway I deleted the app yesterday.
tons of childhood memory came back
unable to maintain any relationship
fear of going out
takes a lot of effort to do a simple thing. ( going to grocery store, food )
is it weed or is it benzo withdrawal
nobody understand and sometimes I think I am crazy
feeling hopeless
tire, fatigue feeling all day
I do get this weird feeling coming back and forth. Sometimes it’s not obvious so I don’t know how to describe it. All of sudden my chest and heart have this tingling feel. It is hard to breath and then it’s gone.

For the past one and half year, I didn’t do anything. Blaze and youtube everyday. Whenever I tell someone my benzo withdrawal. They couldn’t understand and most of them want to argue with me. I don’t have any friends anymore, I don’t talk to my family.  Sometime, I feel extremely lonely but I am so afraid I will end up any relationships. I can’t afford to loose more friends. Is it me or is this benzo withdrawal????????

FM2(Flunitrazepam): Modipanol/Rohypnol        ***7 years
Syndoman 30mg.  FLURAZEPAM HCL                    ****4 years
MESYREL 50MG TRAZODONE HYDROCHLOR
LENDORMIN Brotizolam
Valdoxan Agomelatine

I only take 1 benzo and 1 anti depressant a day. Like the tablets we see from normal pharmaceutical drugs.

My apology for the long and boring words. It’s just so much anxiety even typing these out.

Best,

[…]

Benzo Buddies tells mentally ill drug addict NOT to go to the psych ward

Re: Mom wants me to go to the psyche ward...
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2019, 12:35:31 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on January 19, 2019, 07:19:22 pm
Hope you are holding up, […]. Things hit the fan here because all my cuts caught up with me in a really bad way, so I can definitely sympathize with what you are going through. I’m in a holding pattern because this has become too much to bear.

I hope you are doing ok. Sometimes life can be dealt with only 1 minute at a time.

I’ve also had an attempt in 2016, so I understand all too well. Stabilizing is the most important thing now. I am not tapering any further until these extreme thoughts subside a bit for me. It’s too much to bear for me at the moment, so that’s why I am holding.

Oh no! I hope you stabilize soon Lfree!!! It really is an awful feeling having those thoughts and I think the dp/Dr makes them somehow feel easier to accomplish (at least for me) like there were no consequences.
I had a bad day today, restarted an old drug for pain/ sleep and even though I was only off it for 2 weeks I think it’s hitting me hard. Migraine most of the day, just wanted to sleep and just felt unwell. But it’s also that ‘special’ monthly time AND I tried vaping CBD oil last night…so many things at play right now, we also had a snow storm (which flares my fibromyalgia)

Re: Mom wants me to go to the psyche ward...
« Reply #23 on: February 17, 2019, 04:58:09 pm »

[Buddie]

NO, don’t do inpatient, I did that twice and they poly drugged me to death. was so scary locked up with crazy people and an evil shrink. taper slow, u can do it

Re: Mom wants me to go to the psyche ward...
« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2019, 05:06:56 am »

[Buddie]

[…], I hope you’ve been able to avoid the psych ward. It’s the absolute worst place for anyone in psych drug withdrawal as the people there have no clue what is wrong with you and only heap on more poisonous drugs. I’m so sorry for your suffering. Stay home regardless of how bad it gets….that’s the safest place to be, unless you are truly and actually in the process of trying to take your own life.

Health emergency: Starving Benzo Buddies member cries out for help after site brainwashes him into fearing ALL food

dont understand, 1 cup of decaff green tea has made me so nauseas.? Anyone
« on: January 22, 2019, 04:38:20 pm »

[Buddie]

My anxiety is so off the wall I can’t function at all. I am trying my very best, but needed something to calm and tried a cup of decaf green tea. Yes it calmed slightly but I feel so very sick now, and I need to be able to eat as I am skin and bone.
Has this happened to anyone else. I am scared of everything now, including food, in case it makes things worse. Even my go to bananas it seems have too much sugar. What can I eat, I don’t know I really am at the end of what I can take. Truly I am
Can’t have bread or grains glutamate reaction can’t have dairy, can’t have fruit, can’t have cruciferous veg, what can I have?
I am in a terrible mess, I want to live please I know you have helped me many times , but can you help me through this fear and panic, and learn how to trust food because I am starving to death, and scared. .I don’t know where to turn but to my friends here. I can’t make a smoothy as I am not in control of the kitchen and too scared to do much anyway.
What is happening to me?