Ain’t no love in the heart of the city: Girlfriend dumps addict for man who isn’t tapering Klonopin for 1000 years

Dumped during taper
« on: April 10, 2019, 12:33:03 am »

[Buddie]

Just lost one of the key players in my support network. She said, “I can’t do this for another 6 months, year, however long it’ll be before you’re better. I love you, I want you to get better, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. But I just can’t do this anymore. I have to let go. I have to live my life”

This was 2 weeks ago. I tried to remain her friend, but she couldn’t help but rub her new relationship in my face. When I’d finally had enough and blocked her number, and on social media, she got pissy and finally left me alone. It’s strange how the ones we love the most can end up being the most toxic. Prior to this she would always be at my bedside. Checking in on me every day. Assuring me I’d get through this and that I’m strong for having made it this far.

I found myself up-dosing. I messed up. I let her hurt me even more. I’m trying to get back down to 0.5mg Klon per day, but the nights without her are much harder. Maybe I shouldn’t have been dating in this state. She tapered off klon a long time ago, I thought she’d be more understanding.

If anyone’s suffered a blow like this during taper, any advice would be appreciated.
(I know, “Try not to think about her, occupy your mind with other things.” I got that much, I’m trying.)

Cyberchrondriac force fed steady diet of Benzo Buddies bullshit until she imagines she has benzo belly (a condition that doesn’t exist)

Benzo belly - help please!
« on: March 01, 2018, 11:29:30 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi,

I’ve been weaning for a year – initial dose: 6.5mg Xanax, current dose: 0.25mg Xanax, 40mg Valium. Currently tapering at .125mg Xanax per week with a break every third week or longer breaks if I have something important coming up.

Through the decreases I’ve experienced stomach upset in many varieties and degrees, I had no idea about benzo belly but I realise I’ve been having small bouts of it.

Anyway.. my last decrease was over a week ago and about 4 days in I started getting horrible pain and bloating. I try to stay very active to distract while tapering but these symptoms are so severe I just want to crawl up and sleep forever.

I haven’t been able to continue my activities as usual – my endurance is very limited, I think the pain is draining my energy.

I’ve tried prochlorperazine (stemetil), peppermint, po chai, resting.. I’m not getting any relief and it’s not going away like it usually does after a couple of days.

I know there are a lot of threads on this and I’ve read a lot, I just don’t understand why I’m getting it so severely when my tapering is so minimal and I’ve only had it mildly (comparatively) before. I am very close to being completely off Xanax (2 more decreases), are the last couple of decreases harder than the others?

Is there ANYTHING I can do to relieve this pain or at least give myself enough energy to continue my activities? (I dance at least 9 hours a week, it keeps me sane).

Any thoughts or help would be much appreciated 🙏❤

Holiday rescue dose tosses nine months of benzo freedom in the garbage

Took a rescue dose after 9 months off
« on: January 02, 2018, 05:53:49 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello! On holidays with my family i was under pressure and took 20mg + 10mg valium. Now i feel guilty and sad. After 9 months of agony i feel exhausted and wonder how long will this last. I wonder how many steps i am back now. Need to hear something encouraging.

White-knuckle, chest-thumping fear of flying without benzos

Flying tommorow and horrified
« on: December 13, 2017, 05:36:45 am »

[Buddie]

Hey friends, I’m really scared here. Taking my first flight tommorow since quitting benzos. I am horrified of not being able to do anything about an anxiety attack midair. I had my doctor call in a one time xanax refill but my wife is ashamed of me for doing so and is advising me not to even bring them because I will have a huge flare up of anxiety when they wear off. Been benzo free 16 months. Any words of advice on flying without benzos? Should I bring them in secret just to have? Please help!

Brainwashed Ashton cult members terrified of full moon

Full moon? Does it effect youv
« on: December 02, 2017, 04:11:26 am »

[Buddie]

Does a full moon rev anyone up? I always see people talking about this

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
 « Reply #1 on: December 02, 2017, 10:40:10 am »

[Buddie]

Not me personally, no. One of the first nights I was actually able to avoid a panic attack.

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2017, 10:53:43 am »

[Buddie]

Yes, and has always affected my sleep before this benzo nightmare.

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2017, 01:34:44 pm »

[Buddie]

Full moon is my friend as well as the universe.

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2017, 02:47:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Yes, For the past five months on the night before the full moon and the night of my blood pressure spikes and I cannot sleep. It happened again last night! Apparently tonight the full moon is suppose to be particularly strong. Not looking forward to it!

Re: Full moon? Does it effect youv
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2017, 02:50:30 pm »

[Buddie]

Yes, I have trouble sleeping with a Full Moon, worse with Benzo withdrawal but it had the same effect before I stopped using Diazepam, last night was miserable.

Ashton taper failing but thank God addict has place to indulge in self-pity

Feel hopeless
« on: July 21, 2017, 11:32:44 am »

[Buddie]

The withdrawals got to me too much yesterday so I took a rescue dose of 10mg valium. I felt better the rest of the day but now I feel like a failure. I don’t know what I did to my taper schedule and where to go from here. Even when I make small cuts and hold I still feel sick. I think I’m going to die every day. I just want to give up. I have no life and haven’t left my house in 2 months, I can’t talk to anyone, I’m useless. I can’t even go outside. I question why I’m even doing this when I was doing so well on the valium. I do want to stop. I need some support from people who understand. Thank God for this forum.