Benzo Buddies scored as a Hypochondriac Heaven

Are there hypochondriacs on this forum?
« on: August 28, 2017, 12:58:21 am »

[Buddie]

Yes, stopping benzos is not easy but my experience is that it was not as bad as I was made to believe. I think some people on this forum are hypochondriacs. Do people really feel withdrawal a year later? I’m not buying it. Do you really need to taper for years? I doubt it.

Benzo Buddies members terrorized into fearing tap water

Tap Water
« on: June 10, 2017, 07:03:32 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi,

Does anyone know if drinking tap water could be more harmful after benzo withdrawal? I don’t know if this is just my anxiety or if I should look into getting a water filter? I’m especially worried because I’m having issues with hydration right now where I feel constantly dehydrated so I’m drinking a lot. I’m not sure if it’s okay to be flooding my body with tap water day after day. Thanks!

CYBERCHONDRIA

3am & loosing it
« on: June 01, 2017, 07:54:53 am »

[Buddie]

I woke up about 1 after after already going to sleep with a panic attack at 10pm
It started cause I felt nauseous and had pain in my stomach . In a recent post I said how my stomach pulsates a lot and my biggest fear with that is an abdominal anyuerusm . Of course being the health anxiety person that I am I GOOGLED IT !
Up comes back pain, flank pain & naesous . So now I’m terrified and about to drag my butt to the ER at 3am because of this .
I can’t stop shaking, tried distracting myself with shows, puzzles, games on my phone but my mind comes back to how sick I feel and how much I’m shaking and can feel my entire body pulsating . My stomach pulsates !!!!

So terrified right now and trying really hard not to rescue dose !

Ashton disciples claim bug spray revs them up

Bug Spray
« on: May 18, 2017, 01:10:03 pm »

[Buddie]

I used a little bug spray yesterday night and I swear it reved up my symptoms so badly. Nerve pain was out of control!!!

Could it have been the chemicals in the spray? It had DEET in it too.

Re: Bug Spray
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2017, 08:30:36 pm »

[Buddie]

It could be. Some people have claimed sensitivity to solvents during withdrawal (e.g. fresh paint or cleaning solvents).

Lack of medication causes panic attack

Re: Health Anxiety
« Reply #391 on: April 10, 2017, 07:16:03 am »

[Buddie]

Hey […] .. here’s one to bring a smile to your face.. sad thing is it is all true ! This is even better than the smiling at yourself in the mirror each morning to see if you had had a stroke..!
Anyhow last night I woke up in the night and got up to go to the bathroom and noticed blood on the pillowcase… not a lot but enough to be scary on a white pillowcase , right where my mouth had been … could feel the fear just rush through me.. what on earth .. my mouth felt kind of sore , could it be a new type of stroke?? I had a small paper cut just at the side of my mouth that is taking a long time to heal.. I figure in the light of day I must have scratched it and it has bled a little.. added to that ,reflux and you have a messy pillowslip.. oh no , could I be that logical in the middle of the night ?? Not on your life.. I was bleeding internally , I was bleeding from an artery in my nose somewhere.. oh my goodness… funny now as I tell it but you can bet it wasn’t funny in the night … the sight of blood always scares the daylights out of me…. health anxiety in the extreme ….xx

Kook worried sperm affected by years-long taper

Withdrawal and Male Fertility
« on: April 14, 2017, 11:30:55 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey everybody – Although I am quite functional these days, I am still dealing with several protracted withdrawal symptoms. I am not worried about this as I know they will resolve with time.

The thing that does slightly worry me is that my wife and I are planning on trying to have our first child in the coming year, and I wonder how this whole experience may have affected the health of my sperm. I don’t want to bring a child into this world if their health is going to be compromised. Does anybody have any experience with this by chance? Any knowledge or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

Addict “using substances never intended for human consumption” but blames benzos for brain damage

What else could this be? + update/doubts
« on: March 02, 2017, 08:31:38 am »

[Buddie]

I feel like a walking nuclear power station in meltdown now. I have SO many severe neurological symptoms now that I am starting to doubt it is Benzo related anymore. I’m not saying this is the case for everyone else, but because I was using substances that were never intended for human consumption, and because there are rare neurological conditions such as Neuromyotonia in my family, I am going to tell the doctor today about all of it. I could have been gulping down poison or some kind of chemical neurotoxins for three years, who knows. I am a stupid idiot, I choked down dozens of those shitty blue ‘pellets’ an hour at some points. I did taper, but I had to taper very fast for the dose, with no medical assistance and a bunch of threats.

I also face the stigma that cloaks any kind of addiction, which frightens me because if I do land up being referred on for some investigations, it may cloud people’s judgement and I’ll just be accused of drug seeking again. This also excludes me from any kind of pain management too. I was in bed for a week last month (even more so than usual) with my period. I was delirious from the pain, felt like someone was repeatedly winding me and tearing my insides up with razors, couldn’t even speak or sit up, just yelp and whimper when the pain and buzzing tore through my insides (buzzing moves into my pelvic area when I get my period). All I managed was the odd 10 minute crawl to the bathroom to almost vomit (never did thankfully). If I stood up, I started seeing stars & darkness and started passing out. It was just me and the easily level 10 pain, in a little bubble of whimpering mess. All this is coming again around the 8th, so not long now!!!!. 
Try being an addict and getting any kind of pain addressed, it’s not going to happen, been there, tried it. Nobody will even investigate Endometriosis with me, probably because they think I’m after pain meds.

Another thing that makes me strongly suspect something else may be at play now is my lack of apparently very common psychological sxs like panic, terror, severe anxiety etc. All the info I have dug up suggests these are more prevalent than all the physical sxs combined. I don’t even have the classic one, Insomnia (I have totally the opposite, extreme exhaustion and inability to move). I haven’t read a single report that has been totally devoid of these mental symptoms. Even if I have a ‘window’ that for me only means a lessening of a couple of symptoms for a few hours, my most severe ones like burning skin, pain, neuropathy and internal vibrations never, ever go away. I imagine people with a variety of neurological conditions also have ‘good days’ where some of their sxs lessen, that pattern is not uncommon for any illness or condition, from flu to brain injuries. I think I was in such a fogged, addled state on Benzos that I ignored my deteriorating health and let something creep in. 

I need some form of resolution before this illness brings on the psych sxs I’ve so far escaped. I feel sort of blessed to have escaped the brunt of the psychological aspect of WD, specially given it certainly seems the worst and most distressing part to many people here. A lot of people also seem to be over the physical, which in withdrawal seems far more prevalent in acute than months out, and are now engaged in a mainly mental climb out of this mess. You can to a certain degree negate the mental aspects with many different coping strategies, not to downplay this aspect of withdrawal at ALL so please don’t think that.
I have suffered ongoing mental health issues such as anxiety (which Benzos quadrupled for me!) all my life. I manage these the same way as I always have. No amount of psychological intervention will negate physical illness though, and I am very, very unwell. It feels like my body is rotting, slowly but surely rotting like a zombie in the Walking Dead (I love that show! lol). I am losing not only weight, but muscle mass too, all my muscles are atrophying. I look like a Walking Dead extra too, my skin is ghost white, my eyes look like someone thumbed them three inches into my head, I am a mess. I simply cannot carry on this way, something has to give.

I am seeing the doctor today and I will be telling him about the family history and all my symptoms. I am really wondering if Benzos just opened the door, fried my CNS and allowed something to take hold. I will of course say I noticed all these sxs once I stopped using Benzos, but I must also take into account the fact Benzos may have been covering something up. They may have reduced both the symptoms of such a condition, and my ability to recognize it.

There are factors for me that point to this being far more than just withdrawal now. Some of my symptoms are above and beyond anything I’ve researched on Benzo withdrawal, and some don’t fit the bill at all.

My internal vibrations/tremoring is so severe now that it rules every last second of my life. I can’t stand, sit, walk or anything with any degree of comfort because it quickly turns to numbness and neuropathy if anything makes contact with my body such as a seat or if I lean against something. I have never, ever heard of this being so extreme or prevalent in WD from any drug. This symptom alone feels like it causes many sxs, and if I could get rid if it, I would get rid of them too. I feel like an alcoholic in acute inside. I wish I was in a way, it seems alcoholics have done the DTs in a few days and are basically ok physically a couple of weeks out. I am still very much ready to accept I may have something other than Benzo WD now though. I haven’t touched a Benzo for 5 months, I know I am over acute, but my body is severely damaged. My brain appears to have scraped through and continues to improve all the time, but having a functioning brain in a broken body is the worst thing any human can possibly experience.

I am so sick now I would not be surprised if I am not sent straight up to the hospital for some urgent tests today. My long suffering husband was a couple of weeks ago, because to top all of this off, he has both Cauda Equina Syndrome (neurological spinal condition), he also has a swollen calf muscle from a suspected partial tendon rupture. They had to rule out DVT. He’s had two normal D Dimer tests, so that’s one thing it’s not. I want to help him with this as much as I can but I am bedridden and extremely unwell. Everything is too much now. Many of my ancestors were tortured and killed in German extermination camps during WWII, and somehow many also survived and told their horrendous stories, so maybe, just maybe, if a human being can survive something as atrocious as that, I will survive this?. I am ready to accept the worst though. I have forgotten what it’s like to wake up and feel ‘well’, I don’t even know what ‘well’ is anymore. I get very upset when I see someone jogging or cycling or jumping around, because I can barely lift my arms above my head. I feel like it’s time to ask for something like a mobility scooter or a f*cking wheelchair. Pardon my language but I’ve had enough of my torture chamber body.

I can deal with this very real possibility, even if whatever it is is going to kill me, fine, just tell me what it is because if something’s going to kill me, I want to get acquainted with it first, please don’t shoot me in the back.

Last off, if anyone suggests I ever reinstate, I will give it some serious consideration because I have reached the end of my rope now, out of slack, no more room for movement in my little box.

« Last Edit: March 02, 2017, 09:09:23 am by [Buddie] »

Ashton worshippers make up new benzo withdrawal symptom: pain in the heels

Pain in the heels
« on: May 20, 2016, 11:20:09 am »

[Buddie]

Hi buddies,

All of the sudden I started getting pain in the heels.

Has anybody had this?

Thanks,
Shpend

Re: Pain in the heels
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2016, 12:31:08 pm »

[Buddie]

Yes, I will get nerve pain in my heels and also in the front part of my feet. This nerve pain from wd can hit anywhere in your body, at anytime. I’ll get stabbing pains in my lower back and legs also. And if you have certain areas in your body that are more sensitive than others, this is often the place you’ll get a flare up.

Re: Pain in the heels
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2016, 04:18:35 pm »

[Buddie]

Very interesting! For the last three weeks I have had pain in my heels too!

Regards

[…]

Re: Pain in the heels
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2016, 02:32:14 am »

[Buddie]

I had this ….mine felt like I had blisters on heels….but it went away…

Hugs
[…]

Re: Pain in the heels
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2016, 06:11:41 am »

[Buddie]

I have it in my right heel. When it first happened I thought it was plantar fasciatis, but now- having it since November (it is now May) I’m thinking it MUST be a w/d symptom. It hurts so bad!

We will heal from this!

Scientologist panics after dentist visit

Not a good dentist visit really scared
« on: May 16, 2016, 08:26:14 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m four months out and this is not good timing but I had a dental cleaning today and there is a white spot above the roots on xray from last fall so he pointed out but I don’t remember him mentioning it last fall. When I asked what that could be he said he had no idea and I could get xrays at my next appointment in 2 months for my crown. I’ve never had dental work other than feelings as a kid and I’m scared of having a setback with symptoms and especially scared of some kind of cancer. Does anyone have experience with this and would Dental visits while they’re recovering