Elderly mom forging Xanax prescriptions, obtaining endless supply illegally

Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« on: July 19, 2017, 01:21:44 am »

[Buddie]

About 2 years ago my mom’s whole personality changed. Her OCD symptoms got much worse, she says incredibly rude things she NEVER would’ve said before & her memory has gone down the toilet. Her routines & rituals are set in stone & she won’t deviate from them. She leaves the stove on 2x per month on average now. She started taking Xanax (1mg-2mg per week on average) around the same time her personality changed. The worst memory lapses–such as leaving the stove on & forgetting basic words–always happen the day after she takes her Xanax dose. She’s also excessively tired the day after taking Xanax. Worst of all, she denies any change in her personality & gets defensive even talking about it.

Could using Xanax one night per week be sufficient to affect someone’s mood, cognition & anxiety levels to this degree? She’s had a CT scan of her brain at my insistence to see if there was any sign of previous strokes or other issues, and it came back relatively normal. (Some age-related shrinkage & atherosclerosis). The doctor did not seem concerned about it, though it was an ear/nose/throat doctor rather than a neurologist. She’s 65 w/ no family history of Alzheimer’s but at moderate risk for stroke. She’s lost a good bit of vision & hearing due to age, so it’s hard to tell whether she’s doing things like leaving the stove on because of those impairments or something more sinister.

I’m not asking anyone to definitively diagnose her here; just wanted to see if anyone’s experienced this degree of side effects from low dose, once weekly benzo use. (Personally, if I took a benzo or barbiturate one time per week, that would be sufficient to cause rebound mood/anxiety problems but I don’t know how common that is). My mom absolutely refuses to go to doctors, so that’s out of the question. She swears up and down she doesn’t take Xanax more frequently than 1x per week, which I believe because she’s so regimented & afraid of drug addiction, but she could be taking it more often. I’m at a loss.

OCD runs in our family, as do other mental illnesses. I’m absolutely terrified it’s dementia, which would probably cause me to kill myself or be institutionalized because I could not handle that. Cancer is preferable to dementia. I’m praying it’s the Xanax at this point because the alternatives are so awful.

Thanks.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2017, 01:31:29 am »

[Buddie]

I am curious to why she takes one Xanax a week. It seems like she would be in perpetual withdrawal. Her symptoms could well be withdrawal symptoms. It certainly causes brain fog and forgetting things.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2017, 02:26:13 am »

Also, you might want to take into consideration paradoxical reactions:

Benzodiazepine Side Effects: http://www.benzo.org.uk/sidefx.htm

So-called “Paradoxical” Effects
According to Professor Malcolm Lader, 5% of those using benzodiazepines may be affected by so-called “paradoxical” reactions in response to the drugs rather than the desired tranquillising effects. Such reactions include increased aggressiveness (in some individuals even violent behaviour), depression (with or without suicidal thoughts or intentions), and sometimes personality changes.

Paradoxical” side effects occur in all age groups but are more likely to be found in children and in the elderly where they may be fairly frequent yet erroneously diagnosed as various psychiatric disorders. The risk of such reactions is generally greater with short-acting compounds but may occur with all benzodiazepine drugs. It is important to remember that the “paradoxical” reactions can also be encountered in short-term use and, in rare cases, even following the first ingestion of the drug.

Cognitive Side Effects
Memory functioning is markedly and measurably impaired, especially the ability to store acquired knowledge into long-term memory. This memory impairment is highly relevant to students. The risk of acute amnesia is more pronounced with short-acting drugs. Ativan (lorazepam), Halcion (triazolam), Xanax (alprazolam) and Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) are especially likely to induce such memory impairment.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2017, 03:00:09 am »

[Buddie]

Here’s some more info on this: http://w-bad.org/paradoxical/

I hope it’s the Xanax and your Mom might agree to stop taking it to test out whether this is the case.

Kind regards.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2017, 06:41:33 am »

[Buddie]

Thank you so much 

She’s very regimented due to OCD (which has gotten worse with age/Xanax use). She goes shopping one day per week, so the Xanax is to help her sleep the night before. I’ve seen her take it twice in a week when she had other things to do, so she may be taking it more often than 1x per week.

She has an endless supply obtained from…well, let’s just say this isn’t coming from a doctor. She’s had prescriptions for it in the past & even forged one prescription to have 4 refills instead of zero. So that tells me she’s got some kind of issue right there. But she could’ve just forged it because she hates going to the doctor. Either way, it’s a crime & she could’ve gone to jail for it. But back then she didn’t take Xanax as often as she does now.

I’m very familiar with rebound symptoms like anxiety & low mood, as I get them after a single use of barbiturates, benzos or Ambien. Thanks again for the links & quotes. That gives me some peace of mind. The part about short-acting benzos being even more likely to cause issues is especially comforting. I’ve tried explaining rebound effects to her before, but she doesn’t believe that can really happen even after SEEING what a single dose of benzos does to me the following day. She once became manic from a single dose of Valium too.

Ugh. This is all very frustrating since I now live with her. But if it’s “just” the benzos causing her insanity, that would be a good thing 

Contractor steals addict’s Xanax, panic ensues

Contractor stole my Xanax yesterday...
« on: July 08, 2017, 02:20:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Which puts me in a state of panic. I just had my prescription refilled 3 days ago, 2 days ago I put the prescription in its normal place in my medicine cabinet and put a small amount I keep with me in another bottle.

Had a local contractor come to my house to give me a quote on some work. He had to use the bathroom twice within 15 minutes – he used both bathrooms instead of the just guest bathroom in the front of the house used the first time – he had no business even going into my bedroom to get to my master-bath. I was in the crawl space when he yelled out to me that he was going to use the bathroom again – and he helped himself to our master bathroom.

Long story short, he stole my Xanax out of my medicine cabinet. I have filed a police report, unfortunately I don’t keep a camera zeroed in on the bathroom door so it’s my word against his. But knowing I took the medication that morning and it was no longer there as soon as he left – there is NO DOUBT.

I’m prescribed 4/day but am down to 3. I am tapering with my doctors knowledge on my own schedule – of course I am afraid he and all other doctors have heard this excuse a million times simply to get more meds. At least I have a police report and my wife as a character witness but still don’t know if that will help. One time when my doctor allowed for an early refill but the pharmacist actually overturned his decision.

I can’t believe the nerve of some people.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2017, 02:25:56 pm by [Buddie] »

Daily Mail labels anti-psychiatry cult members ADDICTS


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4531548/Betrayed-doctors-turned-DRUG-ADDICTS.html

First question: “How do I find a doctor (who will give me benzos)? I fucking love them!”

My first question to everyone...
« on: February 26, 2017, 08:24:34 pm »

[Buddie]

How do I find a doctor that will taper me over a long period of time. All three tapers I have tried were between 1 and 3 months. And they all resulted badly, severe depression and anxiety along with cognitive effects and pain.
It seems like every doctor knows how to prescribe Benzos and I can’t find one to taper me off them without crashing me.
3mg clonazapam for 17 years. Was great for the first year and the years after just got worse and worse. It has changed me for the worse in so many ways.

“What is an addict?”

  • Ask a spouse or parent who has struggled for years to help a drug user and you might hear that an addict is someone who betrays you and takes whatever they can get, who bankrupts you and breaks your heart.
  • Ask a law enforcement officer who tried to help at first but then gave up because of the overwhelming extent of the problem and he might talk about the hopelessness of even making an effort.
  • Ask a doctor who has seen too many patients scream at him and his staff if he fails to give them the pills they want and he may rant about how horrible and dangerous “these people” are.
  • Ask an emergency room nurse and she might wave her hand in despair of ever being able to do more than keep a person alive so he can use drugs again the next night.
  • Ask someone who tried to help an addicted person again and again but then gave up in disgust when the person always returned to the bottle or the needle, despite that offer of help. Perhaps he can’t be blamed for concluding that an addict is someone who can’t be helped, who is hell-bent on destroying himself, who is degraded all the way down to his soul.

After thirty years addict wants off benzo merry-go-round

30 year Headache!
« on: October 16, 2016, 01:09:45 pm »

[Buddie]

In 1986 I was prescribed Ativan…….In 1995 Diazepam was substituted. until the last year I was unable to come of Benzos. This time last year I was on 40mg of Diazepam daily ( Taken in one go in the morning ) I was told by the local GP surgery I had to come off them. What staggers me is the lack of information, total lack of support. I have done my own research. Phoned a helpline in Bristol. Presented an ignorant GP with tapering guidelines. X wanted me to cut from 15mg to 20mg in less than 2 weeks…The withdrawal was horrendous and totally ruined my Christmas and that of other family members. X Told me I was not suffering from Withdrawal 18 days later and told me I was depressed……Giving me anti-depressant medication.”016 has seen me totally on my own try to withdrawal…I am now down to 8mg and am horrified to feel so awful on trying to cut by 1mg every 2 weeks. I live with daily tension headaches and have had them since taking Ativan years ago…they hav3 never gone away. I just want to share with others anything that can be helpful and also to top feeling so alone in this daily struggle. This last week has been one of the worst weeks of my whole life…..Thank you […]

Pill-crazed hophead eats handfuls of benzos in search of nirvana

Major setback to hell.
« on: October 08, 2016, 09:03:51 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi friends

I’ve just done the most stupid thing. I’ve been pretty stable on 5mg Lorazepam for 3 weeks now.

I was just about to take my 5mg and accidentally found a supply of Valium that my partner was hiding from me. I’ve had some bad news today and my anxiety/stress has been off the scale all day.

I was like a child in a sweet shop and just couldn’t help myself. I took my 5mg Lorazepam and 10x 5mg Valium. This adds up to 90mg benzo if I’m not mistaken.

My question is will this reset my taper/tolerance and will I have to start again. Will I go through a withdrawal process again until I stabilise.

I’m so mad at myself right now if I didn’t have family to worry about I would hang myself tonight.

Please help.

New drug guidelines send junkie into panic

Opiates & Benzos
« on: October 05, 2016, 11:59:23 pm »

[Buddie]

Went to my PCP today to get hydrocodone refilled (taking it for severe neck/back pain).

He told me the FDA is setting up new guidelines for prescribing opiates and benzos at the same time. I had been on clonazepam and recently tapered off, but he thought I was still on it, and told me to stop taking it because of the new guidelines. Of course, I told him I had tapered and was already off of it, but my thought was what if I hadn’t already been off of it I would have been c/t’d. He isn’t willing to prescribe both meds now, so he would have taken me off benzos (or opiates). If I were someone that was on a fairly high dose of benzos (or even not a high dose), I would have been cold turkeyed.

I certainly can’t go off the hydrocodone right now because of pain. I would have been screwed. That’s what’s so scary about benzos, opiates, or other addictive meds.

TALES OF MADNESS

This strange little Benzo story of mine.
« on: July 28, 2016, 05:49:52 am »

[Buddie]

Hey there, Buddies 

First of; I just want to say that I didn’t realize that this board was mainly for Benzo withdrawal, which I hear is one of the worst drug withdrawals you can go through. I just googled something and found a forum called Benzobuddies. I figured it was aimed at Benzodiazepine fans, users and abusers alike… But now I see, however, that it was not the case haha 😛

Secondly; I just want to give you guys going through Benzo withdrawal my nicest and most pleasant feelings and thoughts. What you’re doing, no matter how you got there, is something that I wish I had the strength for. If I ever landed in the deep end of the Benzo pool, I’d choose another way out instead of fighting it, because I’m not as strong a person as one would think when looking at me.

I guess I’m just lucky that what happened to me thought me never to touch these things again as long as I live. My refusal to ever ingest a Benzo again even got to that point that I refused all sedative drugs when in the Psychiatric Hospital, not because I didn’t need them, I sure as hell did, I just didn’t want to go psychotic ever again. The doctors thinking I was bullshitting them with this Benzo story of mine because it’s not a well known fact that you can in fact go psychotic from using Benzos. Even if it’s just a tiny dose, for the first time and you’re not either a child or the elderly.

Now to that little post of mine…

I’m here to look for some reassurances, answers and to introduce to you guys a new angle to this whole Benzo thing.

That angle being; I believe that Benzodiazepines triggered my underlying Schizophrenia.

I’m very big about this whole mental health thing and believe that if it makes you better, why not? If it makes you worse, stay away from it!

It’s been pointed out to me that excessive cursing is a no-no here so I’ll try to edit most of it out, aside from those curses that I use for emphasis, those are pretty damn important to just get how massive this whole thing was for me. Life shattering is one way to put it.

So, As I said, I believe, and have I gotten a confirmation from one of the most revered psychiatrists in my country, which so happens to be my personal psychiatrist, which says that I’m not that far from the truth about this whole thing, that a Benzodiazepine called Xanax not only induced my first episode psychosis but also, somehow, triggered my Schizophrenia.

So, I was prescribed Xanax in the beginning of May 2014 and not 40 minutes, the time it takes the pill to dissolve and get into your system, after first ingestion, I entered a gnarly psychotic episode that lasted for the two weeks I took the damn drug, only ending the day after I stopped taking it, resulting in the greatest couple of days in my life…

Those couple of days, however, were the best of my life, but short were they. As soon as they ended I started becoming psychotic 2-4 times a week. It was truly awful. Each one was like those two weeks pushed into one day.

Hardcore hallucinations that encouraged homicide, suicide and self harm. Raging delusions that made me believe the most raging and extremely Paranoid things. Derealization and Depersonalization along with everything.

So, my BenzoBuddies, I entered those episodes 2-4 times a week for the eighteen months after those initial two weeks.

I had, of course, before being put on the Xanax, entered Psychotic episodes before. But, they never were a problem. I, of course, didn’t know what they were or why I was having these crazy intrusive thoughts and strong as shit ideas about all sorts of crazy things. I didn’t have the vocabulary or the trust in others to tell anyone about these episodes as I was just a small child.

This one time it happened on a plane, the voices and delusions had convinced me to open the door of the plane mid air and jump out. That I’d survive the fall too.

I just cowered in fear and entered the fetal position, not knowing what was happening. Then 15 years old.

But again, they weren’t ever a problem or as frequent until the Xanax.

So my fully functional theory is that when I was born I entered something called the prodromal phase of Schizophrenia as soon as I developed consciousness, as I remember every single negative symptom of the Schizophrenia I have today from my childhood.

Much like this. http://mentalhealth.com/mag1/scz/sb-prod.html

I entered the first phase as I started noticing I wasn’t like other kids. As soon as my parents noticed I wasn’t like other kids, I entered phase two.

Phase three, however, didn’t appear until some 16-18 years later or when I was about to turn 20, the summer of 2013, when I started feeling my first positive symptoms. Paranoia. Coming up at the most untimely times. And it only exacerbated the paranoia whenever I got stressed or enjoyed some lovely other stressors.

Then, instead of my parents noticing my paranoia or some other symptom that had appeared by then, I took the Xanax and that stuff threw me over phase 4 and 5 and just way beyond everything.

I wish to believe that if I hadn’t taken the Xanax, I would have developed some other fun old psychotic symptom and gotten “used” to it like I had with the paranoia, my parent noticing there was something more wrong with me perhaps a couple of years later and I’d entered my first major psychotic episode, the one that would’ve triggered the Schizophrenia, a few years later. Maybe in 2016, 2018 or 2020….. Maybe I should have gotten this shit through fate when I would’ve been 26 or in 2019…

I believe that me taking the Xanax was both a blessing and a curse. As it did absolutely nothing for me if we’re talking about Anxiety but caused me an extreme psychotic episode. The blessing was that I later found out what was wrong with me, what those strange feelings and behaviors I experienced as a child were and there was finally some reason for why I felt like the crap I usually feel like. The curse was that I self harmed and almost resorted to suicide which I’m not gonna go into detail with.

If I’d been allowed to experience this “first major” episode of mine in peace in ~2018, maybe it wouldn’t have hit me as hard. I could have gotten “used” to the symptoms. And when I say used to I mean that they wouldn’t have fucked me as hard up as they did.

Now I’m of course, and you might have read it, not saying that the Xanax caused the Schizophrenia like I thought at first. It simply jump-started it.

My body made a listing on Kickstarter and pledged $2 for the initial goal of the project. The project being psychosis and the goal being Schizophrenia. And one pill of 0.5 mg Xanax was enough to fill the goal instead as $2 is roughly the street value of one 0.5 mg Xanax.

For you disbelievers, you can too enter psychosis from Benzodiazepines, it simply being called Agitated Toxic Psychosis. Google-Scholar it, bro.

In my case, I believe my Agitated part manifested itself deep down in my consciousness during my psychotic episode. As I was so terrified by the Derealization and Depersonalization that those symptoms masked those Agitated feelings that the voices, delusions and paranoia fed on for the duration of those two weeks. The Hallucinations and Delusions mainly revolving around killings, whether it was my self or others and self harm.

I may be terrible at school, but I’m terrific thinking out of the triangle, putting crap together and making theories that make more than sense. And much to my surprise, my psychiatrist strongly agrees with my theories, and it’s not just to shut me up. He’s more professional than to actually do that. He’s been cruelly frank with me in the past and he’d sure as hell tell the shit out of me if I wasn’t making any sense and was deluding myself.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Anyone here that’s experienced psychosis from Xanax or any other Benzodiazepine or are some Schizophrenics here that have noticed something strange from Benzodiazepine use? I’m open for all stories if there’s anything about psychosis, depression or any other mental disorder directly related to Benzodiazepine use! 

If there’s interest, I’ll write down everything that happened those two weeks, skipping the most graphic parts of course as they’re not well seen by the mods here which I completely understand. Suicides and self harm can trigger all sorts of feelings in sick individuals, plus, it’s just not very pleasant to read about or relive in one’s mind.

DISCLAIMER: What happened to me, experiencing psychosis from a drug that’s used to treat psychosis, is what’s called a Paradoxical Reaction. Paradoxical Reactions can happen from any drugs but are extremely rare, yet somehow more frequent with Benzos than with other drugs. It’s said that 5% of all Benzodiazepine users on this little planet of ours will experience Paradoxical Reactions from Benzodiazepines at one point in their lives. These reactions are most common with children, the elderly, in high doses and with abuse.
While none of those things relates to me, it can quite well happen, to anyone, anywhere, from any medication, for any reason. That it’s gonna happen to you is still highly unlikely and if you were gonna feel these Paradoxical Reactions, odds are you would have felt them by now. They can, not only, come out as Psychosis but also stress, anxiety and agitation. Benzo Rage, ever heard of it? That’s a Paradoxical Reaction as well.
Again, and I cant stress this enough, it’s highly, unrealistically, unlikely that this will ever happen to you and is my post not some sort of fear mongering aimed at regular folks for the sole purpose of making them paranoid that what they’re ingesting might cause them to go insane. I do not wish in any way to exacerbate anyone’s Benzo induced paranoia or uneasiness with this babble of mine. I’m just here looking for some answers!
I’ve researched it extensively and it looks like that this is one of the first of these cases in the world. That is that a Benzo might have triggered Schizophrenia. So you have nothing to worry about, absolutely nothing to worry about.

Thanks for reading this Subway foot-long! I actually like Quiznos better… Baja Chicken wrap with fries? Oh god yes, I would sell my soul right now for one of those!

Have a nice day, everyone! And could someone tell me what’s up with this guy?  Is he having some sort of seizure? I feel like what you have to type to make this guy  Should be switched with this strange seizure guy… But that’s just me