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Tag Archives: I am currently losing my mind!

“A specialist told me to wash my clothing in Enviroklenz laundry enhancer to remove the Chems”

Posted on June 12, 2019 by Helper
Magnisium Oxcide
« on: June 12, 2019, 06:34:38 pm »

[Buddie]

I just got out of a terrible set back from off gassing from furniture.

A specialist told me to wash my clothing in Enviroklenz laundry enhancer to remove the Chems.

I am not worse than before from breathing in Mag Oxide and Zinc Oxide.

It says mag stays in the system for 27 hrs. So I read its a GABA acting metal? Now this means im in the thick of it again?

| Tagged A lot of us are losing our minds and going into psychosis!, Do you realize how paranoid and crazy this sounds?, I am currently losing my mind!, I feel like I am losing my mind!, I was crazy long before benzo withdrawal!, I've lost my mind!, lol, This post makes you look crazy as fuck!, You have lost your mind! For your own sanity you need to turn the computer off for a few days! | Leave a comment

Cult members hold ceremony to worship Colin for destroying their minds

Posted on March 19, 2019 by Helper
This forum versus all the facebook support message boards
« on: March 18, 2019, 01:43:44 pm »

[Buddie]

This is just an observation. This is really the last benzo support forum on the internet. I appreciate Colin keeping it alive. It has helped so many people over the years including me. I hate all the facebook groups. They are disorganized and cluttered with stuff posted all over the place. I actually despise social media platforms like FB and twitter. This is still the best forum on the internet as far as I am concerned when it comes to helping people with bzd withdrawal + plus just talking to people in general. The forum is well laid out and very easy to navigate. I do not post daily, but I do drop in daily to just read a few of the posts and offer support when I can. I am still struggling myself with a variety of medical issues. A couple are not even benzo w/d related but the bzd w/d is by far the biggest hurdle in my life. This forum is a lifeline to many. I hope it is here for many many more years to come. The benzo horror stories do not scare me bc they are true. Not everyone experiences the full magnitude of this suffering but there are also some very sensitive individuals like myself who do and it helps to read the truth no matter how scary or disturbing. These drugs can cause some really bizarre crazy SXs that make you feel like you are dying on a daily basis.

Re: This forum versus all the facebook support message boards
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2019, 01:51:44 pm »

[Buddie]

Agree. I had joined a BWD Facebook group and ended up leaving after a few days bc it was not helpful at all!

Re: This forum versus all the facebook support message boards
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2019, 02:11:18 pm »

[Buddie]

I credit this site for saving my sanity & job.

From the vast knowledge archives to the incredible peer support, this site is unmatched. Be sure to thank our selfless & caring moderators for maintaining the integrity of BB.

I have no shortage of gratitude.

sierra

Re: This forum versus all the facebook support message boards
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2019, 02:37:51 pm »

[Buddie]

AntiBenzo’s, this is a great thread, and I agree with all that has been said. I also think that Our Mods are not given enough credit for all that they do here. Most of us are very loyal to BB and all that have helped to keep this great site open. And we are so blessed that Colin continues to keep it open. I do not think we will ever find another place like this, and I remain grateful to have a place to come to. Best to All. 💖 Peace and Healing.

Re: This forum versus all the facebook support message boards
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2019, 02:44:25 pm »

[Buddie]

I think both are very good, but for different reasons. I’ve met good people who support one another on both mediums.

Re: This forum versus all the facebook support message boards
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2019, 03:20:31 pm »

[Buddie]

Yes, this site’s admins and moderators deserve a big Thank You for all their work and dedication.

Re: This forum versus all the facebook support message boards
« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2019, 03:48:00 pm »

[Buddie]

I have been on Benzobuddies and in other groups since 2014, I have always preferred Benzobuddies but there are many people who prefer Facebook so it really depends on the individual. As someone who is very protracted there are very few places to go for support, very few indeed. I appreciate the protracted section here where we can discuss the issues of struggling with symptoms for a very long time. Twitter is our main vehicle for campaigning about the harmful effects of the drugs, I am on Twitter every single day and we have achieved a lot simply by being there and making our voices heard. There are positives and negatives to everything, I usually find.

Re: This forum versus all the facebook support message boards
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2019, 04:23:44 pm »

[Buddie]

I agree with everything that was said. Without BB I’d probably be dead. I am SO VERY THANKFUL for Colin and the moderators and administrators for starting this site and being here day after day!!!

One thing I hope is that people will realize that these drugs are VERY HARMFUL taken for more than a few days and that they won’t have to turn to any sites for help getting off. I also hope word gets around that whatever you desire the benzo for, it will whip around and give you 10x the insomnia or anxiety. In other words, it’s no miracle pill!!

I agree with […] about the protracted site. There is very little to go on once you’re further out. This provides a space where we can discuss symptoms and commiserate. Very helpful.

| Tagged A lot of us are losing our minds and going into psychosis!, ASHTON WORSHIP, benzobuddies.org, Church of Ashton, Colin makes up the Benzo Buddies members! There are only a few hundred!, How can I get my past posts removed please?, I am currently losing my mind!, I feel like I am losing my mind!, I have nothing left but this forum! LOL, I LOVE BENZO BUDDIES, I'm starting to write goodbye letters to everyone to be given to my friends and family when I officially lose my mind!, I've lost my mind!, If you see another Starbird it's not me!, MANSON FAMILY, Pamster bashed Darrin's doctors!, PITY PARTY, RIP SANITY!, THANK YOU COLIN!, THIS FORUM IS ALL I HAVE LEFT!, What happened to eljay?, Where's Pamster?, Who is Hope1962?, You say you are too busy living your life... uh 47859 posts? Looks like it! | Leave a comment

Man wants to murder his wife and child, Benzo Buddies kooks tell him to lock himself in the basement and watch a movie

Posted on February 28, 2019 by Helper
Feel Like I'm Going Crazy
« on: February 28, 2019, 07:17:51 pm »

[Buddie]

For the past three days, school has been cancelled because we are having record breaking snowstorms in Montana. Can’t go anywhere. Can’t get out of the house. I feel like I’m literally going in and out of states of psychosis. I feel like I’m losing my mind. It’s been nearly a year since I’ve been off this shit and I can’t relax at home at all. My daughter just gives me stress. I am so scared of how I’m feeling. I want to bawl my eyes out and run away. There’s nowhere to go.

Re: Feel Like I'm Going Crazy
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2019, 07:22:14 pm »

[Buddie]

So sorry your going thru this. maybe try to distract yourself, a movie? Hobby? Hang in there!

Re: Feel Like I'm Going Crazy
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2019, 07:44:18 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey Boom

I’m sorry you’re going through this. When I felt like this, I locked myself in my bedroom wrapped myself in my blankets. Got some comfort food and told my parents to keep my son downstairs and watched some shows that distracted me. Do you have like a finished basement or something? Somewhere you can go in the house to get away from your family? Because I know how that psychotic stuff feels it’s so scary especially when it’s directed towards family.

Re: Feel Like I'm Going Crazy
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2019, 07:48:08 pm »

[Buddie]

Yes, I am downstairs now, afraid to go upstairs. I want to parent, that’s the thing. I want to do it, but feel like I’m losing my mind. I really don’t want to be on more medication either. I was fine before with my daughter before all this for her first year.

Re: Feel Like I'm Going Crazy
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2019, 08:15:23 pm »

[Buddie]

What are some of the thoughts you’re having? If you don’t mind me asking. Towards you daughter and wife.

| Tagged A lot of us are losing our minds and going into psychosis!, Big Pharma tried to kill me!, FEAR, HELP!, I am currently losing my mind!, I avoid emergency rooms at all cost because I feel they think I am crazy!, I ended up in fetal position on my bathroom floor begging God to kill me! When I finally got a 4 mg fix from that ER doctor what a great high that was!, I feel like I am losing my mind!, I've lost my mind!, My doctor wants to murder me!, PSYCHOS, Rik's wife chained him to a radiator!, SPIDER-MAN I SENSE DANGER!, TERROR, This is where the full nightmare begins! | Leave a comment

Cult hero Matt Samet labeled whiny idiot and bullshiter as Benzo Buddies-enforced taper sends addict screaming to psych ward

Posted on December 17, 2018 by Helper
I'm so screwed please help-going hospital to try to get on psych ward
« on: December 17, 2018, 10:33:26 pm »

[Buddie]

:'(Saw psych doc today to go over what regular doc said.

They both say different things.

Psych wants me to increase klon a bit , get off mirtazipine, use hydroxizine as needed and add back Prozac since I won’t take abilify. She refuses gabapentin.

Family doc wants to add lamictal to klon I’m on and keep Mirtazipine. I’m still waiting to see if she will do gabapentin.

I’m in the middle of a complete breakdown. I just think I should go to the hospital and get on something.

Please help. 😢😢😢
« Last Edit: December 17, 2018, 11:40:36 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: I'm so screwed please help
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2018, 10:44:31 pm »
[Buddie]

I think you should give your shrink a copy of Death Grip by Matt Samet.

Re: I'm so screwed please help
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2018, 10:48:33 pm »

[Buddie]

She is trying to help.
She wants to see if I can stabilize where I was.
She’s not pushing the klon. She just saw how much I’m suffering and the severe state I’m in

In fact the reason she won’t do mirt or gabapentin is because they are hard to get off of.

Re: I'm so screwed please help
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2018, 11:39:53 pm »

[Buddie]

Going to the hospital to try to get on the psych ward 

Re: I'm so screwed please help-going hospital to try to get on psych ward
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2018, 11:45:04 pm »

[Buddie]

i was in the same boat when i tried going ct a couple weeks back. i ended up reinstating instead, since i currently don’t have insurance. at the time i didn’t realize about how ct wd impacts you, and i thought i was just having really bad insomnia/my brain wouldn’t let me sleep. i called the psych ward and they told me they don’t treat sleep-specific issues.

please keep us posted on what happens– i’ve deliberated going to the er/psych ward myself during wd.

Re: I'm so screwed please help
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2018, 12:40:50 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 17, 2018, 10:44:31 pm
I think you should give your shrink a copy of Death Grip by Matt Samet.

Matt Samet is a whiny idiot and bullshitter. That’s the last thing I would read (I know, I read it).
He detoxed in the EXACT same place that I did (5 years earlier) and his description of the staff, doctors and process bore zero resemblance to what I experienced.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2018, 12:50:53 am by [Buddie] »

Re: I'm so screwed please help
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2018, 12:52:55 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 17, 2018, 11:39:53 pm
Going to the hospital to try to get on the psych ward 

Given your situation, I think this is the best option. Your doctors suggestions strike me as marginal nibbling on the edges. I benefitted from being detoxed and placed on powerful ad’s, which I am off of now,

| Tagged benzobuddies.org, EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTORS PUT ME IN THE PSYCH WARD FOR FIVE DAYS!, How are you doing since being released from the psych ward?, I am currently losing my mind!, I feel like I am losing my mind!, I've lost my mind!, If I check myself into a ward will they just put me on more meds?, REAL-LIFE PSYCH WARD STORIES, THIS TAPER FAILED, What happened to the Hero Category? | Leave a comment

Panic ensues after brother puts Guinness in Irish stew

Posted on November 4, 2018 by Helper

There was Guinness in the Irish Stew
« on: November 04, 2018, 12:10:16 pm »

[Buddie]

My brother put Guiness in the Irish stew last night I had a suspicion when eating it but thought I was just being paranoid…I had a bad night sleepwise last night and today I feel like I,ve been hit by a truck again…I,m twitching more etc and worrying like crazy about stuff..He obviously didnt do it in purpose.

I,m worrying about all sorts of stuff now like my doctors surgery havnt put down my benzo dependency in my record which I have copy of. Just opiates…I dont know if they are doing that to cover their own backs..They have issued loads of tapers..I hope all this stuff is documented on the computer system of my record…I,m in no mental state to deal with them as I would get extremely angry and loose the plot which would be awful.

It makes my situation harder as I may have to go and get an operation and they need to be aware that I have to avoid gaba sedation/tranquilliser…Basically the last private dr I saw I had to explain the benzo thing, yet it wasnt on my referal letter…I have to keep explaining to different drs about it and feel like its my word against the dr,s…Its a real problem as I feel my dr,s are also working against me and probably think i,m using still..Also I,m worried that they will think I,m to unstable to operate on..Its not life threating operation or condition but the pain is driving me nuts…

That a ramble so sorry..If anyone has had a reaction to alchol in food let me know..It wasnt boiled very long so some will have remained

| Tagged CIBOPHOBIA (fear of food), Come to Benzo Buddies! There are many of us there!, HELP!, I am currently losing my mind!, I feel like I am losing my mind!, I'M TWITCHING!, LUNACY, My body is starting to reject food!, Of course a head doctor would outright deny this!, PANIC, PARANOIA, Who are all you freaks?, WOW! LOL! | Leave a comment

MICROTAPER-FUELED PSYCHOSIS

Posted on October 25, 2018 by Helper
Losing my mind
« on: October 03, 2018, 06:27:07 pm »

[Buddie]

I had been doing pretty well micro tapering klonopin. This morning I woke up and I just feel like I’m losing my mind. Like I’ve been sick too long and I’m just totally mentally ill. My thoughts don’t feel right. The world doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel right in it. I don’t know why. I have always had anxiety and probably never thought totally normal but the way I’ve felt today and the last few months I’ve never felt like this. I’ve only micro cut like a total weight of .205 to .195 over the last 10 days or so. I feel so scared.

Re: Losing my mind
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2018, 08:15:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I started tapering off Klonopin too a month ago I feel the same, I don’t feel like me anymore

Re: Losing my mind
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2018, 01:04:12 am »

[Buddie]

It’s been a pretty awful day. I just can’t get my head right. Feel so much fear today and disconnected from the world as I knew it. I’m tapering slow I thought. How much are you tapering from ?

| Tagged A lot of us are losing our minds and going into psychosis!, Benzo Buddies moderators aren't professionals at tapering! They're not doctors! They're not medical professionals!, DELETE ME FROM BENZO BUDDIES! PLEASE!, DRUG-INDUCED PSYCHOSIS, HELP!, I am currently losing my mind!, I feel like I am losing my mind!, I've lost my mind!, If you dont hear from me you know I have been declared insane!, KLONO-HELL, KLONOPIN® (clonazepam), MICROTAPERING MADNESS, PSYCHOSIS | Leave a comment

Benzo Buddies tapers cause addicts to become psychotic (on top of their previous psychiatric disorders)

Posted on September 6, 2018 by Helper

Another day full of torture, at the end of my rope and looking for support
« on: August 22, 2018, 02:50:12 pm »

[Buddie]

Heading 18 months next week, but the burning nerves and chemical energy are absolutely horrible.
I am losing my mind and would like to smash everything in my room, because of the pain and anxiety.
I hope someone can give me some positive words today. I am fucking done after so long.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2018, 02:57:31 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Another day full of torture, at the end of my rope and looking for support
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2018, 04:38:58 pm »

[Buddie]

I know exactly how you feel. I’m there to. It sucks watching everyone living so happy and normal and here we are in god awful agony. Then the assholes who prescribed us these poisons say we’re not in withdrawal because it has cleared our system. It ain’t fair. Just hold on tight. It’s all we can do. I’m nearly 26 months and don’t know how much longer I can do this. I guess just keep pushing.

Re: Another day full of torture, at the end of my rope and looking for support
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2018, 04:56:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 22, 2018, 04:38:58 pm
I know exactly how you feel. I’m there to. It sucks watching everyone living so happy and normal and here we are in god awful agony. Then the assholes who prescribed us these poisons say we’re not in withdrawal because it has cleared our system. It ain’t fair. Just hold on tight. It’s all we can do. I’m nearly 26 months and don’t know how much longer I can do this. I guess just keep pushing.

Really not only them, but family and friends think we are crazy and put a label on our head.
“We are you lying on the couch the whole day”, “why are you not working” etc.

I remember the words from my doctor who said this medication will help you with your sleep issues (1,5 year back). Yeah right it has destroyed everything. As far as I know from you, you are also struggling really bad isn’t?

Re: Another day full of torture, at the end of my rope and looking for support
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2018, 05:10:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Struggling really bad. I’ve lost friends cuz they don’t understand. Coworkers won’t even stop to talk anymore. The statement that really pisses me off from people that don’t understand is “SNAP OUT OF IT” it can’t be that bad. Went to see a new doctor and when I explained what I was going through I got the same puzzled look and he wanted to refer me to a phych pill pusher. I told him the damage is done and I need to be left alone to heal. He strongly disagreed and offered a script for Paxil and Xanax. I got up and left. There’s my pissed off vent for the day. Let’s just keep pushing and eventually we will be writing our success stories. Hang on buddy!!!!

Re: Another day full of torture, at the end of my rope and looking for support
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2018, 05:15:41 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m in there with you guys. I’m having a bad run on and off. Hope, I felt what you described wanting to scream or break things, it happened yesterday and I went what the hell was that I’m a pretty fun lovin guy. It may be the length of time given up to healing and not seeing a straight line improvement. No choice, move forward, stay clean.

| Tagged A lot of us are losing our minds and going into psychosis!, Benzo Buddies is filled with hundreds of mentally ill people who have been forced off their medication by cult brainwashing! Help!, benzobuddies.org, Does psychiatric torture make you happy?, I am currently losing my mind!, I feel like I am losing my mind!, I'm starting to write goodbye letters to everyone to be given to my friends and family when I officially lose my mind!, I've lost my mind!, My damn family thinks they know what suffering is! That is a joke! They live in a fucking fantasy world!, No wonder my family thinks I am bipolar!, PITY PARTY, PSYCHOSIS, That Benzo Buddies place is fucked up!, You have lost your mind! For your own sanity you need to turn the computer off for a few days! | 3 Comments

Benzo Buddies kooks lose their shit over threat from eyeglasses

Posted on May 3, 2018 by Helper

Anyone sensative to glasses?
« on: April 26, 2018, 06:39:28 pm »

[Buddie]

Anyone feel like glasses rev them up?

Re: Anyone sensative to glasses?
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2018, 06:40:44 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on April 26, 2018, 06:39:28 pm
Anyone feel like glasses rev them up?
I think more sensitive from the fit. I’ve had to have them adjusted a million times (and I’m still not happy). Think it’s the perfectionist OCD aspect as well.

What sucks is my eyes are so dry from this that am reliant on my frames.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2018, 06:45:45 pm by [Buddie] »

| Tagged A lot of us are losing our minds and going into psychosis!, Anyone feel like glasses rev them up?, ASHTON WORSHIP, CRAZYTOWN, How are you doing since being released from the psych ward?, I am currently losing my mind!, I feel like such a freak on these forums!, I'm almost ready to go to the ER but I can't stand them looking at me like I'm crazy again!, I've lost my mind!, THE FUNNY HOUSE, There's no way that this is still benzo withdrawal!, What are your symptoms? | 1 Comment

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Thoughts of Bliss

“It was even suggested that Valium should be added, like fluoride, to the drinking water. Together people would be blessed both with tranquility and strong teeth.” – Prof. Heather Ashton, December 2011

“A woman is safer in a park at midnight than on a psychiatrist’s couch.” – David Miscavige, October 2006

“Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed modern society gives them antidepressant drugs.” – Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, June 1995

“Nearly eight years ago, I first gained some very limited access to the Internet. I correctly diagnosed myself in about an hour.” – Benzo Buddies founder Colin Moran, January 2006

“7 Barbican Road is occupied by Colin Moran who has a secure tenancy. We are hoping that the time will come when he will want to move on.” – Calvary Chapel York, December 2008

“Drug users who are trying to kick their habit are perfect prey for cults like Scientology.” – Arun Arora, Director of Communications for the Diocese of Birmingham, March 2003

“I must confess, I have thought about becoming either a phone sex operator or a cam sex operator, probs phone first. I wish I knew some girls who would show me the ropes. I can’t seem to get any info online.” – Benzo Buddies member Journey, September 2012

“Did huffing gas do this to me? When I was about 12 or so I huffed gas.” – Benzo Buddies member jr991, March 2011

“I have been told countless times at Benzo Buddies not to listen to my doctor. ” – Benzo Buddies member jessiccarabbit, October 2012

“There are thousands of members on Benzo Buddies and there are bound to be some real loons, sociopaths, psychopaths and downright cruel freaks.” – Benzo Buddies member ld1, May 2013

“Go to hell you quack fucking bitch!” – End Psychiatry leader Daniel Carter to a registered nurse, April 2015

“Benzo Buddies members are usually anti-psychiatry because they have suffered at the hands of the profession.” – Angela, Benzo Buddies member

“Who are all you freaks? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” – Benzo Buddies member Whoopsie, February 2013

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