OCD rages out of control after brainwashed kook stops psych meds

Re: Summer Jumpers Support Group!
« Reply #30 on: June 08, 2017, 09:34:16 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi all,

I’m currently on 0.25MG of Klonopin and 25MG of trazodone for anxiety and OCD. I’ve cut down to the 0.25MG about 2 months ago and want to get off completely by the end of the summer and be symptom free!

I’m thinking of doing a cut to 0.125MG, holding that for a couple weeks, then either jumping entirely or cutting again down to 0.0625MG for a couple weeks, then jumping.

I’ve been on the klonopin for a total of 8 months.

Re: Summer Jumpers Support Group!
« Reply #31 on: June 08, 2017, 09:50:06 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi and welcome!
I made cuts in the same fashion that you did. You have dissolve tabs?
What are you doing with your trazodone? Are you cutting it or leaving it?
How have your OCD symptoms been? Mine are a bit revved up. I do a lot of repeating thoughts/sentences in my head until they “sound right”. Plus some weird twitching etc occasionally in public

Glade air freshener = Satan

“Near the bed was a plugin Glade air freshener. I unplugged it and crossed my fingers that my symptoms would calm down. I did fall asleep eventually, but it wasn’t a pleasant night.”

Air Fresheners And Other Fiascos

Ashton tapers cause tongue twitching

twit

Did anyone have weird tongue symptoms?
« on: August 14, 2016, 01:45:29 am »

[Buddie]

I get this weird taste in my mouth, almost metallic or like perfume. I also get tongue twitches and like a feeling that I have something on my tongue, crawling or kind of like pop rocks or food is stuck there. Anyone else have this? The taper also gives me heartburn, so maybe it’s that as well?

What other symptoms did you guys feel?, the sensitivity to hear, red ears, nausea, and vision disturbance is driving me insane.

[…]

Another Ashton failure: Nine months off benzos and jerking around like a fish out of water

Never a 100% window... Normal?
« on: June 10, 2016, 11:40:51 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m 9.25 months off and have yet to experience a 100% window. For me, a 100% window would be to sleep an adequate amount of hours and to NOT have any Hypnic jerks while trying to fall asleep. My best window to date was a night of 7 hours sleep, but still had a few little jerks going to sleep and a lot once I woke and tried sleeping again. Never a day without my worst symptom and feel like I may never be rid of them… Especially since I’m experiencing relentless jerks 75% of the time, maybe getting up to 4, sometimes 5 hours each night.

Anyway, I’m hoping I’m not alone in having never ending horrible symptoms… Without a single day off! Can anyone relate? Especially if you are as far out as me? Hopefully ill hear from those who were like me, but are now getting big windows!

Cult member tapes forehead and eyes to stop the twitching

Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« on: June 07, 2016, 02:52:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello everyone:

I don’t know if right place to post and i hesitate to do so but I’ve had severe physical symptoms and am looking to see if anyone else has experienced this where it has gone away or at least gotten better…. the ones most distressing and pure torture and where I […] can’t do this anymore are:

Muscle contractions and spasms in forehead …above eyebrows and in between eyebrows….. You can visibly see the muscles move and go up and down back and forth…. Pure pure utter torment ( the worst pain you can imagine)

Eyes involuntarily close shut and squeeze and jerk for seconds moments at a time

Nerves underneath left eye especially, jump upwards, shake ,vibrate and pull and cramp like crazy (and also inside of eye) sometimes staying in a locked position

Jaw involuntarily jerks back and forth from left to right; teeth grinding into each other, sometimes clenches really tight

The muscles in my lips will contract and pull from left to right and also tick …sometimes they will spasm where the muscles in my my lips are making my mouth pull all the way to the left
The muscles in my bottom lip will actually pull my bottom lip inside out and downwards and will pull and contract and vibrate

Sometimes its so severe on my left side that the forehead eyes jaw and mouth will all contract at once..TORTURE and pain.

I actually have to wear tape on my face to minimize the movement and pain

My chin also spasms up and down

These are sobad at times I have to put athletic like tape under my eyes and forehead to minimize the pain.and movement.

None of my mouth movements are so much as grimacing as they are more like muscles […] spasming and contracting out of control….

I am so desperate for encouragement as I can no longer bear it….. As you can imagine I have been housebound for 14 months …..I could never go out in public this way…. It is hideous…

The hopelessness and despair are off the charts…. I have the most severe health anxiety a person could ever have….my heart constantly feels like its going to jump out of my chest

I wish I had the ability to be of more encouragement and help to others because that is exactly what I would be doing but I can’t even help myself… I feel so alone with all of this…

If someone can be kind enough to give me some hope and encouragement or ideas of what I could to. I rarely if ever get relief….. I am on the verge of having a breakdown from all the symptoms…….
This has devestated my life…. I can’t sustain this…

thank you to anyone who has read and can sympathize…..

Former Xanax eater joins online pity party, immediately blames doctor

New Cry Baby Here
« on: June 07, 2016, 03:25:57 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey everyone. I’m obviously new here… and here’s a little about me, and why I feel like a cry baby.

I was given 1.5mg Xanax for sleep, that was years ago. Never upped the dose, never took more than prescribed… Then like many before me, was given an opiate for pain relief. Well that was for years!

Fast forward to a few months ago. I wanted my life back, and not be chained to pill bottles anymore. Jumped ct off the pain pills. Had a bad 1 or 2 weeks, and boom, recovered from that. No lingering effects or anything. Felt crummy, but after about the 2 week mark, felt like life was back. Here’s where things got interesting…

I thought Xanax was the same type of thing. That I could just ct that too. Boy oh boy what was I thinking. Made it to like day 2, and was taking it again, but that’s where things got interesting. I could never find stability again! I was 100% stable taking the 1.5mg at night only. Never took them during the day… Just at night. No issues, no problems, no inter-dose withdrawal, nothing. I was fine. Well, when I got back on them, no matter what I tried, I felt like my head was going to explode, i basically lived in the bath tub, and damn near wanted to end it.

Someone who I adore took me to the ER, and the folks at the ER said I was suffering benzo dependance. I was like, duh! I’m not here for drugs, i showed her my full pill bottle, and I asked how do I get normal again? She literally said ‘I don’t know, but there’s nothing I can do for you here, unless you want to go to detox, and that’ll actually hurt more than help as its only 5 days, but I have to offer.’

Long story short, it took me 2 weeks to get an appt with my pdoc, and I specifically asked for a good solid taper plan. The pdoc had me reduce Xanax by .25mg every 3 days, while taking 10mg of Valium. The 10mg of Valium was to only last 2 weeks, and at the end of that 2 weeks, I was to go to 7.5mg, and the following 2 weeks, down to 5mg… etc.

Here’s where I went sideways. I pushed down and followed the doctors letter to a T to get off the Xanax. Just so happened, I felt great! I felt like the king of the world. Well, I made the Xanax jump, not thinking ahead, on the same day that I had to drop to 7.5mg of Valium.

3 days later, it got gnarly. I won’t bore anyone with the details, but I had to jump back up to 10mg of Valium just to think straight and take care of my kids. The headaches are horrible, sleep is something of the past, and i’m feeling defeated.

Well fast forward to now… I’m on day 2 of going back down to 7.5mg after getting semi-normal on the 10mg again. Pdoc wants me on this for 4 weeks, and we’ll have a new appt then. It seems the pdoc listened to me, but only kind of. Pdoc said that with Valium, ‘there’s no chemical way you’re feeling withdrawals because of the half-life of Valium. It’s all made up in your head. You need to understand that.’

Anyways, here I sit, at 7.5mg on day 2, feel super super crummy, feeling like i’m losing the motivation to want to quit, because this road is uncharted, hard, and ya. Just feel like a failure at everything because it’s ‘made up in my head’.

Anyways, i’m keeping a word doc of my journey, all the twists and turns, more like a journal, and i’m on page 36 already. That’s how many thoughts and twists and turns I’ve taken. IDK. I know i know, there’s light at the end of the tunnel and all that jazz, but is there a faster way to the end of the tunnel? And if not, how do I get my pdoc to listen? I personally feel that the rate of taper might be a little to fast, but pdoc justifies it with ‘Valium has a built in self taper, and you shouldn’t feel withdrawal at the rate we are going. It’s all in your head’. I mean seriously, how much of this is in my head?

Sorry for being long winded, but that’s just where i’m at, my story (very very short version believe it or not) and ya.

Kooky Monday: Bowel movements added to list of 90,000,000 benzo withdrawal symptoms

Strange spell yesterday
« on: February 15, 2016, 02:11:23 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello Everyone.  It’s been a while since I have been here. I jumped off Ativan 6 months ago. Doing okay for the most part but still getting waves every few days. Fortunately the waves don’t last long but I keep having the oddest symptoms. The most annoying is these intense butterfly sensations in the pit of my stomach. They come out of nowhere when I am having a good day and feeling totally calm and happy. They are shortlived but uncomfortable. I assume it’s just a wave of anxiety. I have been on a beta blocker for 18 months to keep my heart from racing. Heart racing was the reason that I got put on a benzo in the first place. Dr. thought I had an anxiety problem but it turns out that my thyroid was out of wack and I was swinging from hyperthyroid to hypothyroid. I am not on thyroid replacement hormone yet because my hypothyroidism is mild and not causing problems. Anyway had a very strange thing happen yesterday, and sorry if TMI. My tummy was rumbling right before I needed to go to the bathroom for a BM, (I’ve been having constipation) and my heart rate went up a bit. It scared me because that hasn’t happened in while being on the beta blocker. It wasn’t racing like it used to though, but I am used to my pulse being in the low 60’s now because of the beta blocker, so if it gets up to even 80 or 85 it feels like racing. So I went to the bathroom and had a BM and came back and sat down and my heart rate started to go back down, but then I started shivering and trembling like the chills you get with a fever but my body temp was normal. I felt like I was coming down with something. That lasted about 15 minutes and then went away and I was fine the rest of the day. It’s like once I had the BM, everything went to normal. So my question is, did the impending bowel movement trigger this weird spell, or is it benzo withdrawal? Have any of you every experienced anything like this?

Re: Strange spell yesterday
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2016, 04:24:25 pm »

[Buddie]

Anyone? Hoping someone can help shed light on this and ease my mind. Thanks. 

Re: Strange spell yesterday
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2016, 04:35:03 pm »

[Buddie]

Sounds like small panic attacks to me. The gut is where many feel the effects of a panic attack. Hard to say if it’s benzo related or your thyroid causing cortisol swings.

Re: Strange spell yesterday
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2016, 05:27:35 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi DMom,

Maybe your body is readjusting to normal. But gave your body those symptoms while doing so. I too had panic near BM process for a short time a couple weeks back. I think it was withdrawal symptoms for me.

I’m at about 6.5 months from my jump. I’m hypothyroid and am on .075 mcg of levothyroxine. I see an endocrinologist the past couple of months and will continue to do so just to make sure my numbers are good and am on the correct level of meds. In the beginning of withdrawal my body went hypo to hyperthyroid and made things very difficult to deal with.

I had not really had any hunger feelings in my stomach for the longest time until lately. This morning I noticed I was really hungry and I was so happy to feel that sensation! Yay! This whole process really baffles me what our bodies have to go through to get us back to normal.

Glad things have calmed down for you and sounds like you’re getting better!

Cult members unable to work due to brainwashing

I am in a predicament
« on: February 04, 2016, 04:54:06 am »

[Buddie]

Hi guys

So I am up to 11% on my taper, still having withdrawal such as anxiety, paranoia and obsessive thoughts.

My gp has signed me off work and will not sign me back on until he is assured that my symptoms are under control.

Work are making noises about me returning to work or be dismissed under health grounds

I am a member of the union and am waiting for them to call me back to advise

All of this is just making me feel worse and constantly increasing my anxiety

I feel under pressure to go back even though I know I’m not ready, I have a very stressful job and at the moment I struggle to cope with normal day to day stresses.

Any idea how I can go forward and stop worrying so much about losing my job

Many thanks

Re: I am in a predicament
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2016, 10:38:21 am »

[Buddie]

[…],
I understand your condition as well. I have experienced it myself. I almost fainted when my manager called me for some regular scrum meeting. He obviously was curious with my condition and I was marked as ‘sick person’ by team. Since I cannot maintain my job at that time, I decided to resign, unfortunately.

Sorry that I don’t have any idea what’s the best for your situation. But if I you still can maintain your anxiety at working place, I suggest you to prepare some countermeasure when you are in anxious condition.

In my case, my pdoc suggest me to prepare some plastic or paper bag in case of sudden panic or anxiety attack. I asked to breath from that bag so I can obtain more Co2 to avoid hyperventilation.

My I ask when you drink your medicine daily? Since I move to my new environment, I decide to let myself suffer at night rather than at working place, so I move my medicine intake time at morning before going to work, later cut it into 2, and divide it for morning intake and night intake.

Wish you get better soon.
Contiki

Re: I am in a predicament
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2016, 03:38:14 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi:

I had a very similar situation and had to end up signing off from work, due to my benzo/other psych drugs problems. But they were very nice and gave me 5 years of my full salary. Now I am ready and willing to work outside of my home, but it has been very difficult for me to find a job, as I am not young. There’s an old NA motto that I go by to get rid of any anxiety: You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself. AKA the ball is in their court right now. So pls try not to future trip. Also, the lower the dose you are on the smaller the cuts have to be. I think, right now, you may want to slow down a bit or try liquid titration.

[…] 

Re: I am in a predicament
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2016, 12:24:41 am »

[Buddie]

I assume you’re in the US since you mentioned a union. Did you formally go on fmla? Under that you are protected from being fired. They have to give you a job back, it just doesn’t have to be the job that you had. That’s what you need to decide on. Can you handle giving up your current job? You can’t blame an employer if they need to backfill your position if you have been out for some time. Is there a way to negotiate with them? Maybe work half time or work from home? I have a very stressful job too but I was counseled to try the up front approach with my managers to work out a solution that worked for them and me. Everything worked out well in the end.