A glass of wine while Tapering « on: October 26, 2016, 03:00:36 pm »
I am down to .25 a day of klonipin (.125 8am and .125 8pm). My psychiatrist said it’s okay for me to have a glass of wine at this point if I want to. I have a date this Friday, and would like to have a glass of wine, no more than that because I don’t want to get awful side effects.
My question is, if I have the wine before my 8pm dose, do I still take the 8pm dose? My doctor doesn’t seem to think there’s an issue as it’s only .125, but wanted to know others’ opinions/experiences.
Who I am..... « on: June 05, 2016, 11:20:27 pm »
I am Ron ,age 79. I am badly addicted to clonazepam. My physician warned me of this possibility, and now MUST do something about it. I have been taking 2MG daily for over 10 years. I’m sick and tired of sleeping the clock around, but CAN NOT sleep without my daily ‘hit’. (Also tired of being sick and constantly tired)
I am Fuming right now after a call with Roche pharmaceuticals « on: June 02, 2016, 07:15:05 pm »
So I just called Roche Pharmaceuticals, the company that produces/makes Klonopin. I explained to them that I am going to be tapering off Klonopin and wanted some advice. They WOULD NOT help me and could care less when I told them some of the discontinuation effects that klonopin has on people. They told me it was out of their control and they also could not help with a taper plan. I explained to them that my doctor did give me a taper plan that was a little too rapid for me in the past and I am preparing and I just wanted a second opinion before I started my taper. I told them I was calling them for a second opinion since they make the pills and know how the pills are chemically produced. The answer was exactly as the “I’M SORRY, WE CANNOT HELP YOU”. Anyway, if I ever doubted benzobuddies in the past, now I really don’t. You were all right from the beginning. Doctor’s pharmaceutical companies and all the rest of them are completely helpless and useless. I guess it is up to us to be our own doctors and just help our selves and hope for the best. Sorry, I just needed to vent. ROCHE PHARMACEUTICALS are pure evil!!!!!!
40 plus yrs. on Benzos Cold Turkey in June 2015 « on: March 03, 2016, 02:14:02 am »
Greetings from Southern California… I found Benzo Buddies 2 months ago and decided to join today. I chose this screen name as after using Benzos for 40 plus years, I do feel it may be part of my DNA. (lol)…At age 17 I was prescribed valium 5mg for PMS (the medical field had no idea what PMS was in the early 70’s). Then at age 22 I was prescribed Xanax 0.5mg 3x daily. (I was told I would love this new drug as it was NON ADDICTIVE). Fast forward to age 35 a new MD. prescribed a better ( NON ADDICTIVE DRUG) Ativan 2mg 4x daily. Sold down the river without GOOGLE. And for the past 12 years I have used Klonopin 8 to 10 mgs a day (this was a prescription.) However… In June of 2015 I went COLD TURKEY. So I am 8 months FREE.
I hope I can give to this forum what it’s given me. So happy to have found you all !!!
Bodily Checking & Panic « on: February 24, 2016, 07:27:03 pm »
Hello, benzobuddies. Thank you for your postings and help while I’ve been in withdrawal.
I am 22.5 months off of Xanax and Klonopin with a month of reinstatement.
I am much better than I was a year ago, but my worst symptom is still devastating me.
I unconsciously check for physical symptoms such as bumps or vague pains, find one, catastrophize, and go in extremely severe panic. I know that I’m okay, but my mind will not shut off telling me that I’m not. I live with the constant fear of getting and having cancer.
Do any of you have these symptoms and have any strategies for coping with them.
There’s no more from Jordana (Prettydaisys) about Gene Hackman. Jordana is essentially a rich-kid drug addict who blames only benzos for her symptoms because such is the effect of exposure to Benzo Buddies peer indoctrination. She behaves as if doctors duped her into taking benzos but forgets she started by stealing her mother’s benzos and then continued the habit by writing hundreds of false prescriptions. Daddy’s rich enough to keep her at home off the streets which lets her spend her days postings lengthy moans to Benzo Buddies welcoming readers. You can find much more by searching. The admins may decide to hide her old messages to protected her from your reposts, so publishing any revelations after her any info has been fully extracted might be worthwhile. Here are a few more snippets:
Leon Russel lived a few houses down from us for years when we lived in this 4 1/2 acre land house in Encino when my parents were doing their real estate.
my brother also co-owned the Balboa Tennis Club at the Balboa Park in Encino
so i was thinking today how the first time i was on the benzo’s and opiates i had gotten into some troubles. i had such a bad addiction to both benzo’s and opiates that i ran out of doctor’s to give me my prescriptions. and i was on on 200mg valium, 20mg klonopin and 30 vicodin. that is quite a large amount to take on a daily basis. boy do i have some liver cleansing to do. so anyway, i had to write my own prescriptions to have those amounts in my life every day. i had worked as a receptionist in the radiology dept. at encino hospital. i took the doctor’s prescription pads. and i learned how to write the lingo. smart eh? i did that for five years. i was on that large amount give or take for five years daily. i can’t tell you how much i threw up and thank God for that or else i would really have been a dead girl. it was hard keeping that up. this is hard for me to even write about or think about but it’s a part of my story. i don’t know why i’m writing this but i was thinking about how grateful i am that i am totally off the benzo’s and soon i will be off the suboxone. after about 5 years of taking this cocktail daily, one sunday i got up to feed my five cats i had. i didn’t take my morning dose for some reason because i knew i wanted to go back to sleep and then take my dose. i didn’t want to waste it when i was sleeping. i took three large doses a day. this particular morning the police arrived at my door and i was in handcuffs and taken away to jail. i didn’t have my dose so i was already feeling the interdose withdrawals, especially from the opiates. i was hurting badly! i don’t know if i can even write the rest of this? wowee!! so i went to the local jailhouse and stayed there all day. i said one wrong thing and that i was suicidal. don’t ever day that in a jail or to an total asshole who definitely didn’t need to be so mean to a little girl who was this sick. they sent me off to a full security women’s prison called sybil brand.
The Sybil Brand Institute, at the County Sheriff’s complex in City Terrace, east of downtown, was the primary Los Angeles County correctional facility for women before it closed in 1997. Though still managed by the sheriff’s department, it is now used exclusively for filming. Built in 1963, Sybil Brand was a minimum to maximum security facility, with a design capacity of 900, and a peak occupancy of 2,800. It once housed Susan Atkins (whose confessions to a cellmate at the prison led to the arrest of Charles Manson and family), and Susan McDougall of Whitewater scandal fame. When Sybil Brand closed, inmates were transferred to the new Twin Towers complex. The County may renovate the building and open it again as a prison, but in the mean time it offers modern looking prison rooms including cafeterias, hallways, recreation areas, visiting areas, infirmaries, and cells from solitary confinement to dormitories. As it was a women’s prison, the interior walls have a pink color, which is usually painted over for filming. Productions film here at a rate of two or three per month. The film Blow, A Johnny Depp picture about cocaine dealers, spent five weeks shooting all over the prison. Other productions include Arrest and Trial, Gangland, X-Files, and America’s Most Wanted.
this definitely was not my day and as i write this i can’t believe this was a part of my life. i was in the holding tank for so many hours and in even more severe withdrawals and i was banging my head so hard against the holding tank wall that someone who was in there with me begged for someone to get me out because i could’ve really hurt myself. the withdrawals were getting worse and worse. so they took me out of the holding tank and brought me up to the top floor, the Psych Ward where they strapped me down because i said i was suicidal. so i was having the worse withdrawal symptoms and i couldn’t move because i was strapped down with the toughest leather. i couldn’t believe what God had done to me! i couldn’t believe what i had done to myself and to my life! the next day i was taken with all the other prisoners in this big bus and i was sitting next to this girl who looked at my eyes. my pupils were huge because the withdrawals were so severe. she said to me that i looked like i had taken acid. i felt like i did. those were the Gaba receptor’s down regulated… for some reason they had to switch me to another bus. this time it was a bus with all the male prisoner’s and i sat in the front. i can’t even write what some of those male prisoner’s said to me. i made my way to another jail house where my father finally came with an attorney and they got me out. i was in jail for the weekend so i still didn’t have my benzo or opiate dose yet–the withdrawal was getting out of control. i couldn’t wait until i got home because the first thing i was going to do was go in between my mattress where my stash was. my first order of business was to take 15 tabs of the 5 mg valium 10 tabs of the 2 mg klonopin and 15 vicodin. but my mother had found my prescription bottles and took everything away. i couldn’t believe it! i was too much in withdrawal to cry, yell or scream. the next day i was in so much benzo and opiate withdrawal that i didn’t know what to do or what i was doing so i took myself to the er. i had a seizure. thank God i was in the ER. thank God i went to the ER!! i don’t remember having a seizure but when i woke up there were 6 men around me and i was strapped down again.
i don’t remember what had happened after that but i know that somehow i got some more benzo’s and opiates because it took a few other times and a few other drug rehab’s and sober living houses before i finally became benzo and opiate free the first time. God is here! God watched out for me so closely i can’t believe it! and he watched out for me again during this last cold turkey in the detox…but I wish that he would have stopped me from starting the klonopin again when i had 7 years benzo free. and showed me another way to live. but i did that too and now i am off the benzo’s again. i know about the ashton manual and this forum. i so wish i had known about these things back then. but it’s done and i have to forgive myself for all of that. for all of this!i have to surrender my life over to the care of god as i understand him every day! i have so much healing to do and so much forgiving!
i been on both opiates and benzo’s for about 25 years with the exception of 7 years in between that when i somehow got off both and i
did have a seizure. they are both very bad in such different ways. i’ve always been on both at the same time and i also always tried to taper from both at the same time. (until now)
the opiates do help with an antidepressant affect and could cause depression for a little awhile until the brain chemicals balance out. i am kinda glad i got off the benzo’s first this time and i am tapering from the opiate as i think it probably helped just a little mood wise.
my brother is going to go to any lengths to try to get a doctor to give him the opiate meds he has been on for over 15 years or more. it’s very scary to watch. especially since he is the reason we still have a roof over our heads. he just doesn’t want to go on suboxone. he wants his norco and soma. yes, we have learned that he is also on soma.
so i have to just keep taking care of myself and resting and trying to get well and try to not get into all this family drama. my brother will be doctor shopping all this coming week. he says he has enough medication until monday. than it’s off to UCLA in a car that barely functions. yes he’s going to a doctor in UCLA because he’s really trying to convince everyone that he really needs this medication for his “problem” of a surgery he had over 15 years ago when he just won’t admit that he is a hard core opiate addict. and now soma addict.
okay so the brother saga continues and boy was it a doozy today. okay, so he went alone to UCLA to see the doctor who performed the prostate cyst surgery on him over 15-17 years ago and he told him that he has a prostate infection and gave him some antibiotic. ….. now i know as an opiate addict that is very disappointing news. he also went to his other pain management doctor in the Valley and i guess he got his prescription for the month but he can’t get it filled for 10 days for some reason. i’m thinking it’s probably too early but i haven’t spoken to him directly and i won’t as i’m staying out of his bottom. this is only a bottom and i’m sure it’s not the bottom that actually gets him off the drugs.
okay so update on the homefront and the brother situation. so i gave him a few suboxone tonight and he will try it out on the morning. he still has the script for norco but can’t get it filled for another ten days due to the change/law that just occurred with the DEA about pain medication (opiates) that happened on Oct 6th.
i started benzo’s when i was only 15 years old. my family was really good friends with the actor Gene Hackman and we would spend every weekend and all Holidays with his family. my mother becamse best friends with Faye Hackman and Faye introduced valium to my mother.
my mother had some 5 mg valium little yelllow pills in her bathroom and one day i went in there and saw them and decided to try some. i didn’t just take one pill of 5mg valium. i took 4 pills so i ended up taking 20mg valium and i never felt better or more like i could be intimate with other’s.
i just felt good. so later on, i started seeing my mother’s Gynocologist and he started to give me some valium. i can’t remember if i asked for it or just said i had anxiety. but that is how it started. and then i would get prescriptions for him, my old pediatrician and dentist periodically. and that’s how it started for me.
i had also took quite a few Quaalaudes and fell in love with those. then they turned into ‘bunk’ Quaaludes and jsut weren’t the same — so that’s when i really started taking the benzo’s.