“I am typing this on my phone as I lie on my bathroom floor…”

This is ridiculous!
« on: September 01, 2019, 09:32:59 am »

[Buddie]

“Here I am typing this on my phone as I lie on my bathroom floor, where I have found myself on numerous occasions over the past 12 months, pondering how the hell I can survive any longer.

I feel like I’ve reached the end this time, that I have no more left to give. My withdrawal has been no more or less brutal than anyone elses but my issues externally to this keep lining up and seem insurmountable at best. Perhaps it’s the benzo lies talking, perhaps not….who really knows what they’re thinking is rational or not in this situation?!

But right now everything feels too hard. Maybe this is a cry for help…knowing nothing and no-one can fix this though, essentially renders it useless. Errrrrrrmagod

I hope everyone whom finds themselves in a similar position right now finds the strength and courage to keep moving forward.
Love Peace and Taco Grease
✌️

Benzo Buddies members drink booze, snort ketamine to deal with failed benzo tapers

Alcohol setback
« on: July 20, 2019, 06:21:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Drank some beer about two weeks ago, and a few hours later I started to feel this weird electric feeling in my chest and my sleep got way worse. Over the next few days I started having all sorts of weird physical sensations. It felt like electricity was surging through my body, my skin was burning, and I had this weird electric butterflies in my stomach type feeling. Horrible anxiety set in, I started to feel like I was losing my mind, and my sleep got worse and worse. The anxiety has faded pretty much entirely and I’m having less of the weird bodily sensations, but my sleep SUCKS now. I’m getting 1-2 hours a night. I was doing so much better before I drank. I felt like I was finally turning a big corner. I was mostly getting 4-6 hours of sleep a night, sometimes a bit more, without taking anything to help me sleep.

I’m 13.5 months off, and am pretty concerned about this lack of sleep. It’s like I’m back to where I was at the start of my withdrawal with sleep.
Anybody else experienced something similar?

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2019, 06:39:11 pm »

[Buddie]

Oops I meant to post this in the post withdrawal recovery support section

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2019, 07:41:32 pm »

[Buddie]

I am sure one of the mods or admins will move it soon. How much beer did you drink?

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2019, 07:51:05 pm »

[Buddie]

Only one tall glass of beer. This is crazy.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2019, 08:38:35 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 20, 2019, 06:39:11 pm
Oops I meant to post this in the post withdrawal recovery support section

I’ll move this over to the Post Withdrawal Support Board! :thumbsup:

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2019, 08:42:41 pm »

[Buddie]

Drinking alcoholic beverages tends to be a highly charged topic here. For some, perhaps many people, drinking can cause a return of withdrawal symptoms. Others may be able to tolerate it fine.

I’ll just share my personal experience. I am not a big drinker, just a glass of wine on occasion and a mixed drink even less often. However, I did not drink anything, not one sip, until I was completely healed. Even then, I didn’t have a drink right away, it took some time.

I’ve been recovered for many years now and do enjoy a glass of wine or a mixed drink at times with no ill effects. Everyone is different in this regard. Personally, I would not rush into beer again if you had a negative reaction.

[…] 🙂

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2019, 09:20:51 pm »

[Buddie]

I had one small glass of wine after many weeks of feeling better. I then had many weeks of feeling worse! And it happened pretty immediately. No more alcohol for me.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2019, 01:09:30 am »

[Buddie]

Two beers set me back for a month. Still not where I was prior to the beers. Im alcohol free for the foreseeable future.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2019, 01:14:23 am »

[Buddie]

I experimented with drinking wine a year off my taper. First 1/4 glass, then 1/2 glass, then a whole glass. 3 oz. No problems. So now I drink a glass of wine a couple of times a week.

But everyone is different. How alcohol will affect us is a crap shoot imo. I would definitely wait awhile before trying beer again. And then maybe a small glass.

Hope your sleep improves.

[…]

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2019, 10:37:53 am »

[Buddie]

4 months after finishing a long benzo taper, I slammed 5.5 beers within a two hour period or less. I had to pour out the rest of the 6th beer after realizing that I messed myself up. I was back in acute for several weeks but recovered after a solid month or so. It’s been 18 months since I touched alcohol. I’ve messed with small quantities from tinctures though without any ill effects. I suspect I can have a few drinks if I wanted to now but I just wrapped up tapering some other stuff. I’m thinking by the new year I can drink in moderation hopefully, assuming things work out for me. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m stuck with a bunch of people drinking and I can’t, snorting ketamine helps me get through it, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out so much. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation anyways. I can never go back to binge drinking anyways, which may lead back to benzos. I distinctly recall starting to take benzos to cope with hangovers in the beginning.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2019, 10:53:20 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 21, 2019, 10:37:53 am
4 months after finishing a long benzo taper, I slammed 5.5 beers within a two hour period or less. I had to pour out the rest of the 6th beer after realizing that I messed myself up. I was back in acute for several weeks but recovered after a solid month or so. It’s been 18 months since I touched alcohol. I’ve messed with small quantities from tinctures though without any ill effects. I suspect I can have a few drinks if I wanted to now but I just wrapped up tapering some other stuff. I’m thinking by the new year I can drink in moderation hopefully, assuming things work out for me. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m stuck with a bunch of people drinking and I can’t, snorting ketamine helps me get through it, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out so much. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation anyways. I can never go back to binge drinking anyways, which may lead back to benzos. I distinctly recall starting to take benzos to cope with hangovers in the beginning.

I think you should stop snorting Ketamine.

This butterfly wants to fly (get shit-faced)

This butterfly wants to fly now ....so stressed
« on: May 27, 2019, 07:23:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Recently I have been under A LOT of stress everything has just piled up and I been having chest pains it then gives me more anxiety and adds more stress and worry. The pains feel like a pinch right where my heart is.

Then recently past few days I have been feeling kind of numb no motivation not much energy just want to be on the couch the whole day.

When is it safe to have a drink I’m 8 months off and I have had a drink just on certain occasions.

Can anyone relate? How do you deal with stress?

Kooks add diarrhea to list of 90,000,000 benzo withdrawal symptoms

Has anyone experienced diarrhea during taper?
« on: April 16, 2019, 08:10:03 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello. I’m tapering off of 8mgs of klonopin. Ever since I started I can’t stay out of the bathroom. I have tried Imodium and lomotil(prescription) with nothing working. I also have had a burning feeling in my stomach and gut. Could this be benzo belly? Any advice would help greatly.

Re: Has anyone experienced diarrhea during taper?
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2019, 09:11:23 pm »

[Buddie]

yes. every single day. get used to it my friend.

Benzo Buddies member wistful over days benzos made her feel happy and high all the time

remember when benzos made you feel good??
« on: March 26, 2019, 08:36:10 pm »

[Buddie]

does anyone remember when benzos made them feel good and wonder how it got to this point of feeling like hell and dying??
i felt really good on them for a period of about 3 years between 2014-2015-2016
but always had to combine it with energy drinks to feel alert and would feel so happy and high all the time
– it caught up with me and stopped feeling good in 2017
– very insidious drug
– tolerance withdrawal sneaks up on you without knowing it

« Last Edit: March 27, 2019, 07:49:41 pm by [Buddie] »

Klonopin eater can’t get off the toilet, vows to keep tapering

Anyone struggling with diarrhea during taper?
« on: March 17, 2019, 02:38:19 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello. I have been tapering klonopin for a 4 months. I was on 8mg for 23 years. I’m tapering .25mg per 30 days. I can’t get off the toilet. I have lomotil that I have been taking, but it is not helping like it usually does. Has anyone else had this withdrawal symptom?

Re: Anyone struggling with diarrhea during taper?
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2019, 09:15:49 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey, sorry you’re having stomach issues. That is no fun at all. I (like you) was on Klonopin and when I tapered I had bouts of diarrhea (and vomiting) that would come and go. And yep, when I had it nothing would help. I do believe this is all related to w/d. I was on 2mg for 7 years so with you being on 8mg for 23 years I am willing to bet this is all related to w/d. But again, it did pass for me but it took awhile. If it gets really bad that would be something most def worth getting checked out by the DR. I would hate to see you get dehydrated from prolong bouts of it. I wish I could give you some advice on what helped me, but nothing did. I had to just grin and bear it unfortunately. So sorry you are dealing with that, I feel for you

Re: Anyone struggling with diarrhea during taper?
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2019, 11:05:34 pm »

[Buddie]

[…] – Bummer. Diarrhea is a really annoying s/x. I’ve had some IBS problems for years but worse during the taper.

I can say that eating more natural foods – fresh fruits and veggies apparently provided more fiber and helped the problem a whole lot. I also cut out most meat though have small amounts occasionally.

The diet change was due to high sugar levels from diabetes which the doctor said would require insulin if I did not get it under control fast. From my reading a whole food, plant based diet would regulate the sugar. The much improved bathroom issue was just a bonus.

I’m really sorry you are dealing with this and know it can be a serious problem. I hope that will level out for you.

All the best, LA

Cult abuse: Benzo Buddies gives its members ablutophobia (irrational fear of bathing) for Valentine’s Day

Hard to even bathe w/o exhaustion.
« on: February 14, 2019, 08:13:53 pm »

[Buddie]

Took all my strength just to take a bath & wash my hair.Re: Hard to even bathe w/o exhaustion.

Re: Hard to even bathe w/o exhaustion.
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2019, 08:24:06 pm »

[Buddie]

Yep – and I’m scared of the water

Untreated alblutophia unleashed!

Ablutophobia (from Latin ablutere ‘to wash off”) is the persistent, abnormal and unwarranted fear of bathing, washing, or cleaning

The symptoms of ablutophobia as well as many specific phobias are as follows:

  • Feelings of panic, dread, horror, or terror
  • Recognition that the fear goes beyond normal boundaries and the actual threat of danger
  • Reactions that are automatic and uncontrollable, practically taking over the person’s thoughts
  • Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, trembling, and an overwhelming desire to flee the situation—all the physical reactions associated with extreme fear
  • Extreme measures taken to avoid the feared object or situation.[2]

Feelings of shame are also not uncommon. Many cultures place a heavy value on cleanliness, and refusing to bathe can make someone the target of mockery or teasing, which can increase the severity of the phobia. It may also cause the sufferer to not seek treatment.[3][4]

There are also many options for treatment of ablutophobia. Generally seeking professional help from a person with a background in psychology is one of the best options available. A sufferer of ablutophobia can also undergo exposure-based cognitive behavioral therapy in which the person is allowed to confront the feared object (in this case, water) in controlled situations.[5]

There are anxiety medications that medical professionals can prescribe as well, however these medications have yet to show much promise in the treatments of specific phobias such as ablutophobia. The use of d-cycloserine (DCS) in conjunction with exposure therapy is the only drug to show developments in alleviating the phobia-related symptoms even after a three-month period.[6]

Showers
« on: November 05, 2018, 03:26:51 pm »

[Buddie]

Why on EARTH are showers so difficult?? I HAVE to get a shower because I have to go get blood work done and I seriously DO NOT want to go in that shower, close my eyes and have to shampoo and condition my hair. I don’t understand how such a trivial daily task can become so anxiety ridden. It makes no sense.

Do people with “normal” anxiety experience this??

Re: Showers
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2018, 04:07:46 pm »

[Buddie]

I kinda think because its sneakily a bombardment of sensations. The water rushing on you is loud, and even a small degree of scrubbing and cleansing oneself is like a little workout. i just thjnk its sneakily a pretty hard assault on a variety of senses, and being that the mornings for so many of us are so hyper acutely sensitive and crappy, a shower actually blasts us into symptomatic mode.

i became aware last year that in the middle of one, just washing my hair and turning around and all, that i was fairly ramped up, and became very symptomatic in a short time. its actually an energetic little exercise for people who already can barely lift a cup without feeling it.

thats my own thoughts anyway.

Re: Showers
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2018, 06:40:01 pm »

[Buddie]

My mind tends to go a hundred miles per hour in the shower. All my thoughts become focused on withdrawal. There is nothing but you and your mind as you go through the motions of bathing. They are really rough for me too and make me very anxious and then I start getting very depressed and the intrusive thoughts start to come in. You’re not alone, FakeIt. I used to enjoy taking a shower at night every once in a while just to relax. I would prefer not to shower now.

Re: Showers
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2018, 07:19:52 pm »

[Buddie]

I love showers, it’s the only time my muscles are able to loosen up and I don’t feel any head pains.

Re: Showers
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2018, 08:26:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I get the SAME way in the showers. Sometimes it’s ok. But frequently I get panicked.

Re: Showers
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2018, 08:38:10 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 05, 2018, 03:26:51 pm
I don’t understand how such a trivial daily task can become so anxiety ridden. It makes no sense.

I don’t fear taking a shower per se, but I don’t like it either. Sometimes taking a shower will rev me up and cause aversion to showering again, thus the dislike. I used to enjoy showers before, but now it’s more like a daily chore that I really don’t care for.

Read more here: https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/ezxwda/what-its-like-to-have-a-shower-phobia

Does 100 mg Xanax binge (in a day!) mean you accidental addict or out of control drug fiend?

How do High dose benzo binges affect the brain?
« on: June 10, 2018, 02:26:42 am »

[Buddie]

When I was on benzos I had a different kind of “Addiction”. I didn’t take benzos daily too much but when things got out of control I would take a massive amount of benzos in one day.

My last binge I took over 100mg of alprazolam in a single day. Do any of you know what that would do to your brain? I suppose it might start binding to different sub unit gaba receptors but there’s gotta be more that’s happening. You guys have any idea how high doses for a small amount of time affect the brain?

Re: How do High dose benzo binges affect the brain?
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2018, 02:36:14 am »

[Buddie]

You might take a look at this…

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2453238/

Benzo Buddies: Advice from naturopath quacks is good, advice from medical doctors is bad

Has any one healed even though they used Valarian Root at night?
« on: April 07, 2018, 05:04:23 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m just wondering if anyone has healed or made progress even though they used Valarian Root?

Re: Has any one healed even though they used Valarian Root at night?
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2018, 05:15:27 pm »

[Buddie]

I drank Sleepytime tea extra which has plenty of Valerian Root in it for many months. I stopped because I like chamomile extract […] – that was about four months ago. I don’t remember any correlation of having trouble with any of it.

Re: Has any one healed even though they used Valarian Root at night?
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2018, 05:29:18 pm »

[Buddie]

Ok thanks I can’t feel any emotions and the naturopath suggested I take a capsule with some of these things in it. He said I should still heal cause it’s not the same as taking drugs. It’s hard for me to tell if it’s slowing healing down cause my symptom is the same everyday no matter what I do.