Cult women give up everything to remain in Benzo Buddies

Lost my looks, my body....my life!
« on: November 22, 2020, 08:53:26 pm »

[Buddie]

Of all the horrible symptoms we suffer with each day, physical, mental, emotional….what about all this has done to our outward appearances? I used to take care in how I presented myself to the world. Showered daily, sometimes twice, always did my hair and makeup (not to an extreme, just so I could feel confident), dressed nicely, walked with my head up and a smile for everyone I met. Confident in my ability to go up to strangers and start a conversation and feel respected and liked.

Now, two years later I can’t even shower, let alone take care of my hair, looks, body. This has destroyed everything about my outward appearance. I have gone gray, lost so much hair, the texture of my hair is slimy and sticky feeling (even after washing), have gained so much weight from being immobile, my face is all broken out and greasy and the rest of the skin on my body is dry, peeling and looks so old. My eyes look like someone who’s extremely deranged. They have lost their color, I have bags and they are ALWAYS swollen. My eyes were so bright and blue now they are a dull gray without any spark.

I can’t even look anyone in the eye anymore (and I’m talking about my husband and children, since they are the only ones I see because I am housebound). How can I ever go back out into the world like this even if my brain and physical torture gets better? I don’t have hair that I can just pull back in a ponytail because of the extreme loss and texture. I don’t have skin that looks even one bit okay without foundation on. I don’t have any clothes that fit me anymore because of the extreme weight gain. And I have a closet full of beautiful clothing.

The people who have seen me since this terrible injury happened look at me as if I am a disgrace and the kindness and compliments I used to get, even from strangers, has turned into people treating me like I am a castaway.

How, how can I face the world again like this even if I ever heal? I know there has to be others out here who have lost their appearances too. How do we get our self-confidence back when our appearances have been destroyed?

Re: Lost my looks, my body....my life!
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2020, 10:00:33 pm »

[Buddie]

I have no idea but I feel the same way. I used to be a runner and a gym fanatic, had amazing hair (I’m a hairdresser) and looked pretty good for my age. Now …. wow. I hope I don’t run into people I used to know because I look like I’ve been in a concentration camp. It’s changed the way I look I doubt I’ll ever go back to how I used to look again. But I’ll take that if it means “feeling” normal again. Because when we feel good, we look good. Well as much as someone who has gone thru a massive life changing trauma can look good! I’m sure burns victims wish for this all the time too. When I get down about it I think of them. And then I stop and I’m just greatful for what I do have. X we have a chance at healing and we just have to keep moving towards that goal x

Benzo Buddies crosses bread off list of safe foods (it has alcohol in it)

Endogenous ethanol in foods. Bread can have up to 1.4% alcohol in it
« on: December 13, 2019, 03:42:36 pm »

[Buddie]

There is trace but significant enough amounts of alcohol in bread (yeast-based), fruits- especially ripe or juices, soy sauce, vinegar, and other foods. Perhaps some of us who are very sensitive should avoid these foods until we heal. A burger roll can have up to 1.4%- that’s like half of a standard cheap pilsner in the U.S. I know that when I drank even a gulp of beer I would feel paraesthesia on my face. Thoughts on any of this?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5421578/

Benzo Buddies member asks cult’s permission to renew driver’s license

Driver License renewal
« on: September 07, 2019, 02:24:49 pm »

Guinea pig

I’m curious for those that are at end of taper or very recently finished.

Could you renew your drivers license in your present condition?

Synthroid. 88 mcg
Losartan 100/25
Ambien. 10mg
Lorazepam 4mg
12/2018 3.0
2/2019. 2.75
3/2019. 2.5
4/2019. 2.25
5/2019. 2.0
6/10/19. 1.90 sxs Holding
8/17/19. 1.85

The nightmare that is Benzo Buddies

“William Steven and William Smith, you both are 100% correct. I was a member at BB for about a year. While I met some great people there, the majority were almost all anti-doctor, anti-psychiatry and extreme. It was so beyond sad when people were at the end of their rope and suicidal. If people got a chance nectar mod came along to stop the suicide posts, members were jumping in to say DUDE. STAY AWAY FROM PSYCHIATRY AND FOR FUCK’S sake do NOT ENTER A HOSPITAL TO SAVE YOU FUCKING LIFE. 🤬

Every damn thing in the world causes a ‘wave.’ From a sugar free candy to the wrong minerals in water. It’s so pathetically saddening. MADDENING. I began to buy into pushing through while I was having awful insomnia, depression to the point of suicidal ideation, all while going through family difficulties which were beyond heartbreaking and enough to level anybody, mentally healthy and the already distraught. For some reason I got caught up in the cult mentality and was, no matter what, going to finish my taper. That’s until I found myself literally thinking that death might be the way out of my misery over more losses in my life. I finally left that place and realized that I needed help. I reinstated my Benzo, although at 1/4 of my highest dose and started an antidepressant. I might not need these drugs forever, but by God I not only needed meds, but I needed to GTFO of that sewer of cultists and people who clearly presented as those in desperate need of meds themselves. Thank Christ I came to my senses, and perhaps if I’d never read anything on that site I’d have not ever thought of suicide. God help vulnerable people who join BB and buy into the crazy thinking there.”

http://cesspoolofmadness.com/?page_id=53385#comment-1097733