Jelly legs worse than benzo belly?

Alright, this is not just jelly legs
« on: July 26, 2019, 09:22:11 pm »

[Buddie]

So I am between 2-3 months out of C/t rapid detox (had some overlap of drugs they gave in hospital)
As awful as it gets with a host of symptoms, but my most profound physical symptoms is beyond jelly legs.
My legs started out where I couldn’t lift them or walk at all, and they began contracting nonstop, the clenthcing was very large and you could totally see it happening….they did this for 6 weeks straight without EVER stopping even if I slept, which most of time I didn’t. They then started calming down a bit and have settled into a constant movement of muscles and twitching (both surface and deep)
They have still never stopped. When I walk (can walk from room to room and stand in shower) they just start getting worse.
So here I am, cannot walk on them to make them stronger and they cannot ever rest to heal. Because even when resting them….they are moving. It is an unbelievable, impossible situation.
Anyone relate?
Btw…I am a mom and was a competitive athlete until the last 10 months of all these meds. Not being active is hindering my recovery, and we all know that these drugs have destroyed life as we know it. But not being able to use my legs…is stopping me from everything

“I live in the dark”

K taper making EMFS WORSE
« on: May 07, 2019, 09:24:26 pm »

[Buddie]

The lower I get on klonopin the EMFS get worse
I live in the dark
Anything with voltage
Are my voltage gated calcium channels open?
I do have mold toxicity and that’s the reason for EMFS BUT they’re still getting worse coming off klonopin
I can’t live at all
I read about it but still not taking it all in
Do these VGCC close eventually ?
Thanks

Re: K taper making EMFS WORSE
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2019, 01:05:37 pm »

[Buddie]

I know someone who was on Ativan… got off slowly. She has the EMF thing. First it was screens, phone, computer, now apparently anything that plugs in!
What effects do they have on you?

There is some place in W.Virginia, I think, a place free from EMFs…

Kooks add diarrhea to list of 90,000,000 benzo withdrawal symptoms

Has anyone experienced diarrhea during taper?
« on: April 16, 2019, 08:10:03 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello. I’m tapering off of 8mgs of klonopin. Ever since I started I can’t stay out of the bathroom. I have tried Imodium and lomotil(prescription) with nothing working. I also have had a burning feeling in my stomach and gut. Could this be benzo belly? Any advice would help greatly.

Re: Has anyone experienced diarrhea during taper?
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2019, 09:11:23 pm »

[Buddie]

yes. every single day. get used to it my friend.

Untreated alblutophia unleashed!

Ablutophobia (from Latin ablutere ‘to wash off”) is the persistent, abnormal and unwarranted fear of bathing, washing, or cleaning

The symptoms of ablutophobia as well as many specific phobias are as follows:

  • Feelings of panic, dread, horror, or terror
  • Recognition that the fear goes beyond normal boundaries and the actual threat of danger
  • Reactions that are automatic and uncontrollable, practically taking over the person’s thoughts
  • Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, trembling, and an overwhelming desire to flee the situation—all the physical reactions associated with extreme fear
  • Extreme measures taken to avoid the feared object or situation.[2]

Feelings of shame are also not uncommon. Many cultures place a heavy value on cleanliness, and refusing to bathe can make someone the target of mockery or teasing, which can increase the severity of the phobia. It may also cause the sufferer to not seek treatment.[3][4]

There are also many options for treatment of ablutophobia. Generally seeking professional help from a person with a background in psychology is one of the best options available. A sufferer of ablutophobia can also undergo exposure-based cognitive behavioral therapy in which the person is allowed to confront the feared object (in this case, water) in controlled situations.[5]

There are anxiety medications that medical professionals can prescribe as well, however these medications have yet to show much promise in the treatments of specific phobias such as ablutophobia. The use of d-cycloserine (DCS) in conjunction with exposure therapy is the only drug to show developments in alleviating the phobia-related symptoms even after a three-month period.[6]

Showers
« on: November 05, 2018, 03:26:51 pm »

[Buddie]

Why on EARTH are showers so difficult?? I HAVE to get a shower because I have to go get blood work done and I seriously DO NOT want to go in that shower, close my eyes and have to shampoo and condition my hair. I don’t understand how such a trivial daily task can become so anxiety ridden. It makes no sense.

Do people with “normal” anxiety experience this??

Re: Showers
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2018, 04:07:46 pm »

[Buddie]

I kinda think because its sneakily a bombardment of sensations. The water rushing on you is loud, and even a small degree of scrubbing and cleansing oneself is like a little workout. i just thjnk its sneakily a pretty hard assault on a variety of senses, and being that the mornings for so many of us are so hyper acutely sensitive and crappy, a shower actually blasts us into symptomatic mode.

i became aware last year that in the middle of one, just washing my hair and turning around and all, that i was fairly ramped up, and became very symptomatic in a short time. its actually an energetic little exercise for people who already can barely lift a cup without feeling it.

thats my own thoughts anyway.

Re: Showers
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2018, 06:40:01 pm »

[Buddie]

My mind tends to go a hundred miles per hour in the shower. All my thoughts become focused on withdrawal. There is nothing but you and your mind as you go through the motions of bathing. They are really rough for me too and make me very anxious and then I start getting very depressed and the intrusive thoughts start to come in. You’re not alone, FakeIt. I used to enjoy taking a shower at night every once in a while just to relax. I would prefer not to shower now.

Re: Showers
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2018, 07:19:52 pm »

[Buddie]

I love showers, it’s the only time my muscles are able to loosen up and I don’t feel any head pains.

Re: Showers
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2018, 08:26:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I get the SAME way in the showers. Sometimes it’s ok. But frequently I get panicked.

Re: Showers
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2018, 08:38:10 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 05, 2018, 03:26:51 pm
I don’t understand how such a trivial daily task can become so anxiety ridden. It makes no sense.

I don’t fear taking a shower per se, but I don’t like it either. Sometimes taking a shower will rev me up and cause aversion to showering again, thus the dislike. I used to enjoy showers before, but now it’s more like a daily chore that I really don’t care for.

Read more here: https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/ezxwda/what-its-like-to-have-a-shower-phobia

FEAR OF SHOWERING?

Re: More anxiety when I shower
« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2018, 08:47:54 am »

[Buddie]

The first irrational fear for me was getting in the shower. It was puzzling but even though i have always showered at night i didnt that night. And since then its a struggle .some days easier than others. But its been constant.

Benzo Buddies members being brainwashed into giving up their jobs to taper

I dont know how to continue.
« on: March 02, 2018, 02:09:14 pm »

[Buddie]

I got down to . 110mg of k. 2 weeks aftee my last cut i got withdrawals. They have been getting worse. I woke up this morning not able to leave my bed. Bad anxiety and trembling. Had to call in sick. Updosed to .120mg. Im going to lose my job. I cant function. I dont know what to do

Benzo Buddies cult members wallow in filth ridden benzo-homes in pursuit of eternal taper

My home is one big mess
« on: February 28, 2018, 10:30:33 am »

[Buddie]

I’m really ashamed, but that’s the truth. I don`t usually like this, but I can`t clean. I live alone.

Is it just me who has this, how are you? Do you have any tips?

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2018, 11:31:01 am »

[Buddie]

Hey […]-

I too had this the first 6 months or so when I was in acute phase. I am normally a very tidy person. I have always like things organized & put in place. I was in such bad condition that I was not physically able to do ANYTHING. I literally sat in my chair with laptop or lay in bed for 6 months. It actually may have been longer (I would have to go read my journal but I still am not able to go back & look though that journal PTSD issues :( ) Anyhow,  I do remember at the time telling myself “it is ok, you can deal with this later”.  So I lived in squalor for all that time because I truly had NO one to help me. So just tell yourself that “it is ok & that you will deal with it later when you are better able to cope”. That is all you need to do… :thumbsup:  :smitten:

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2018, 11:49:01 am »

[Buddie]

My house is also much more messy than before because I have less energy and I need to save it for the essential. It’s a benzo-home 

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2018, 11:57:21 am »

[Buddie]

Same as you guys, it was on of the first things to go south. I think it began due to the mental anxiety of the unknown road ahead, I would find myself needing to be distracted positively and not doing things like house work. Then I could not lift a finger without my heart racing and suffering symptoms as I cleaned.

Ironically, I feel soooo much better if the place is clean though 

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2018, 01:14:00 pm »

[Buddie]

I was keeping up until the valium sedated me so badly. Now, unfortunately it has gotten away from me. My husband does quite a bit but he works all week as well. oh well, it will be here when I feel better again. We’ll tackle it then. I am predicting a lot of stuff that has needed to be thrown away will get thrown away then 

Re: My home is one big mess
 « Reply #5 on: February 28, 2018, 02:01:32 pm »

[Buddie]

The worst part is when my friends come with my food, they have to wait in the doorway, I don`t want to let anyone in. It feels so bad! But maybe I can clean tomorrow? No….

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2018, 02:08:55 pm »

[Buddie]

I have been messy for a while now, and I really think benzo brain is to blame. I mean, even back when I was still taking them, as prescribed, I had a hard time managing and keeping things clean. I stopped caring what others think about my mess a while ago. I’ll let people in. You would be surprised how many people have times where their places or someone they know is so messy. My old landlady used to come once a month and clean my house with me. That was always so much easier to have someone else to clean with.

I had a cleaning person for a little while, but I think I was too friendly with her, because I felt like she was taking advantage of me. She would mop all the floors and then dump the buckets in the bathttub and leave a giant muddy mess in my bathtub and all my floors would be sopping wet. Then when I asked her to dry the floors she would come up with weird excuses. In fact, she had a ton of excuses. One time I asked her to clean the oven and she told me a whole sob story about how she was chemically burned from oven cleaner. It was so annoying cause she could have cleaned the oven with just regular soap and water, instead of just taking up all that time to tell me the story.

Oh I am very talkative today.

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2018, 04:22:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Whenever I go into rough patch, my place is an absolute mess. I’m embarrassed about it, but my OCD thoughts about recovery are so overwhelming that I lose sight of connecting with the normal part of myself. Once I get over the hurdle, then I start cleaning again. But then I get into another rough patch. This has been going on for years, and I see no way of it ending until I start feeling really well.

You’re not alone, believe me!!

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2018, 05:49:56 pm »

[Buddie]

My entire life is in disarray because of this. And it isn’t that I lack the physical ability to do something about it, it is because my organizational skills are so bad that if I move things around I have a very hard time finding them again. The lack of motivation to do anything productive is the icing on the cake. Those two things make it very difficult for me to keep everything clean and organized.